View Full Version : Things not to say in a gun store...
CroiDhubh
05-03-2013, 14:24
First the serious part of this:
A guy came in last night fifteen minutes before close...that's fine normally. I was the only one there since we had been so slow and I was in the process of securing the pistols in locked storage. This dude was...well...he needed help. He even admitted it, but the help he needed wasn't what he was thinking about. He started off talking about how no one would release his money and no one would tell him where it was...and how it all started as a goof, which is annoying because he was supposed to be on his way the Joseph H Banks... Then he started talking about how the problem was all started because of his car...then as the TV went to a gold investment commercial he said his money was tied up with them and he didn't get anything for it. Fox News was run after that and he started talking about how he sticks his neck out for everyone, but not even they are helping him, and how he would give them information but not get tied up with these terrorists and the investigation, but he'd take care of it at his level...THIS level. Then he went back to about his car, saying he's willing to accept it as a joke, but the police are just jamming him up and the senators won't help him. He's had seven world leaders talk to him about everything in a hotel room and they all said the same thing, which is the beef isn't against him. He can't figure out why the government keeps taxing him and the tax is being put on his credit cards since he's a Church...the church is Angels of Jesus...they're taxing him for money he supposedly is supposed to earn, but it's going on his credit cards. *taking a breath* (seriously...you're following this as well as I was able to follow him...) Then he goes back on about his car and his money, the government is trying to keep him down so he can't go to Joseph H Banks now because they want him to stay wearing grungy clothing to keep him down as a piece of shit and no one wants to help him....how can I help him? He kept asking, and I said "Legal avenues". He couldn't accept that in his conspiracy theory mind, and said he just has to walk every where now and he is there to help everyone. Then he told me he only had three days left to fix everything or get it figured out or else he has to take care of it himself at this level and God bless to me. *another breath* Whew...yes, I called the local police on the non-emergency line and had them do a welfare check on the dude. I don't know what the guy who left Littleton Adventist looks like or if he had been caught, but I'm not taking any chances. When a person talks that crazy...well...you know.
Ended up not leaving until after 7P because other people came in the store before I could swap the signs and lock the doors.
Now the fun!
What are things you can imagine wouldn't be good to say in a gun store? Here's a few to start out with.
"I hope this puts a big enough hole in her head."
"So...do you have security cameras?"
Good god, what the hell are you supposed to do with that one?
CroiDhubh
05-03-2013, 14:34
Just call the police and have them check him out. Hope they put him on a hold so he could get some help.
I've denied access to weapons just because of things they've said or their behavior.
Sounds like you did the right thing and precisely what I would have done.
to the subject:
"Got anything in the back room off the books?"
"What's the best way to remove this serial number?"
"I'm stopping by the hardware store for a new hacksaw blade on the way home."
KestrelBike
05-03-2013, 14:59
Should it be concerning that I could follow that line of reasoning pretty well?
BPTactical
05-03-2013, 14:59
"Wish I woulda had this during my divorce".
"Baby, you know I can't own this, will you buy it for me"?
"Can I use my Medical Marijuana Card as I.D."?
"How hard is it to turn this into a machine gun"?
"Dem n*ggaz aint gonna be happy when they come back around the crib".
"Can I trade this in"? (serial numbers obliterated)
All of the above actually occurred.
I have an army buddy who is a new(ish) FFL down in TX... he's already told me he's heard some pretty crazy things:
"This'll hit a target from outside of a secret service perimeter, right?"
"Okay, got my guns, now do you know where I can find some TNT or RDX?" -Obviously not in jest, so the cops were called and the guy was kept in the store "chatting" so they could respond.
"Excuse Me for a Second While I Whip This Out"
Did that guy happen to mention owning a gun shop in Bird City, Kansas? Sounds like someone I've met before.
"I voted for Obama" ill kick them right out the store for that one lol.
SuperiorDG
05-03-2013, 15:16
"Excuse Me for a Second While I Whip This Out"
I was in a gun store once and this guy comes in and pulls out his Airsoft pistol he has tucked into the back of his paints. He almost got shot.
First the serious part of this:
A guy came in last night fifteen minutes before close...that's fine normally. I was the only one there since we had been so slow and I was in the process of securing the pistols in locked storage. This dude was...well...he needed help. He even admitted it, but the help he needed wasn't what he was thinking about. He started off talking about how no one would release his money and no one would tell him where it was...and how it all started as a goof, which is annoying because he was supposed to be on his way the Joseph H Banks... Then he started talking about how the problem was all started because of his car...then as the TV went to a gold investment commercial he said his money was tied up with them and he didn't get anything for it. Fox News was run after that and he started talking about how he sticks his neck out for everyone, but not even they are helping him, and how he would give them information but not get tied up with these terrorists and the investigation, but he'd take care of it at his level...THIS level. Then he went back to about his car, saying he's willing to accept it as a joke, but the police are just jamming him up and the senators won't help him. He's had seven world leaders talk to him about everything in a hotel room and they all said the same thing, which is the beef isn't against him. He can't figure out why the government keeps taxing him and the tax is being put on his credit cards since he's a Church...the church is Angels of Jesus...they're taxing him for money he supposedly is supposed to earn, but it's going on his credit cards. *taking a breath* (seriously...you're following this as well as I was able to follow him...) Then he goes back on about his car and his money, the government is trying to keep him down so he can't go to Joseph H Banks now because they want him to stay wearing grungy clothing to keep him down as a piece of shit and no one wants to help him....how can I help him? He kept asking, and I said "Legal avenues". He couldn't accept that in his conspiracy theory mind, and said he just has to walk every where now and he is there to help everyone. Then he told me he only had three days left to fix everything or get it figured out or else he has to take care of it himself at this level and God bless to me. *another breath* Whew...yes, I called the local police on the non-emergency line and had them do a welfare check on the dude. I don't know what the guy who left Littleton Adventist looks like or if he had been caught, but I'm not taking any chances. When a person talks that crazy...well...you know.
Ended up not leaving until after 7P because other people came in the store before I could swap the signs and lock the doors.
Now the fun!
What are things you can imagine wouldn't be good to say in a gun store? Here's a few to start out with.
"I hope this puts a big enough hole in her head."
"So...do you have security cameras?"
I tried to read that as fast as I could because I'm sure that's how it came out.
"Excuse Me for a Second While I Whip This Out"
[LOL]
"Wish I woulda had this during my divorce".
"Baby, you know I can't own this, will you buy it for me"?
"Can I use my Medical Marijuana Card as I.D."?
"How hard is it to turn this into a machine gun"?
"Dem n*ggaz aint gonna be happy when they come back around the crib".
"Can I trade this in"? (serial numbers obliterated)
All of the above actually occurred.
Some old coot at one of the gun shows walks up to the table and starts asking me about he "heard I can turn my Mini-14 full auto with a paperclip."
"Sir, I know nothing about what you speak of other than it would be illegal to do so and I don't wish to discuss it, now this conversation is over unless you would like to talk about how we can prevent further erosion of our rights or something else worth a meaningful conversation."
He wandered off (more like a shuffle) mumbling to himself.
"Wish I woulda had this during my divorce".
"Baby, you know I can't own this, will you buy it for me"?
"Can I use my Medical Marijuana Card as I.D."?
"How hard is it to turn this into a machine gun"?
"Dem n*ggaz aint gonna be happy when they come back around the crib".
"Can I trade this in"? (serial numbers obliterated)
All of the above actually occurred.
[Shock] WOW.
ChuckNorris
05-03-2013, 15:32
Filling out the paper work . . . looking up and saying (as if aking a question) 'convicted? - no I wasn't convicted' . . . and then continuing on.
"Got any of them AssHalt rifles"
"There is no difference between a clip and a magazine... I used to be a ##### in the #### military"
"Can I put a bullet in?"
"Will you take a post dated check for all this?"
"I know what I am talking about. I have a legal full auto PS90"
"Can I have the phone book, I need to look up my address"
"Blow me!!"
CroiDhubh
05-03-2013, 16:16
"Got any of them AssHalt rifles"
"Can I put a bullet in?"
We've been asked just that and asked to even load it for them... It's still better than the idiots who load it themselves from the shelf and I have to draw on them.
It's pretty sad we had to put a sign on the door saying "All firearms must remain in a case or holster unless otherwise directed!"
One of the other employees has almost been shot twice and I have almost been shot once with a 30-06 by a dipshit who had the balls to ask me prior, "Do you really think I'm so stupid I'd come in here with a loaded gun and point it at you?!!" I had swat the barrel away because he had it pointed at my stomach pulling it out of the case while his fucking finger was on it.
I've even had people ship the damn firearms to us with a round in the chamber. Customers cannot handle their guns until we inspect it first anymore. Bore flags are good enough for me, at this point, to allow the person to go ahead and handle it.
Scanker19
05-03-2013, 16:24
"did you know a tampon fits perfectly in a 12ga barrel for use as a blow gun?"
spqrzilla
05-03-2013, 16:31
Sounds like another of my clients got loose ...
SideShow Bob
05-03-2013, 16:43
"did you know a tampon fits perfectly in a 12ga barrel for use as a blow gun?"
I, and I am sure the rest of the membership DO NOT want to know how you acquired that bit of knowledge.......
Goodburbon
05-03-2013, 16:48
Gun store clerk"
"The 50 bmg is badass, the bullet doesn't even need to hit you, if it passes near you it will tear your arm off"
I, and I am sure the rest of the membership DO NOT want to know how you acquired that bit of knowledge....... [ROFL2]
crashdown
05-03-2013, 16:50
Worked in a gun shop in Virginia when Glock pistols first came around.
People came in by the dozens to look at it, and they all asked if it could be taken on a plane.
It must have been a much different society then. I doubt most of these people had ever flown, or owned a pistol.
Now that question would be seen as a terrorist threat if asked at a gun shop while holding a firearm.
Hell, I wouldn't mind working in a gunshop, I can deal with ig'nant fools.....anybody hiring?
"Excuse Me for a Second While I Whip This Out"
Aaaaahhhh!
hurry up or those vato's are going to get away.
10mm-man
05-03-2013, 18:49
I have an army buddy who is a new(ish) FFL down in TX... he's already told me he's heard some pretty crazy things:
"This'll hit a target from outside of a secret service perimeter, right?"
"Okay, got my guns, now do you know where I can find some TNT or RDX?" -Obviously not in jest, so the cops were called and the guy was kept in the store "chatting" so they could respond.
Is TNT illegal? I honestly don't know but I thought if you had a license you could get it.
10mm-man
05-03-2013, 18:51
"heard I can turn my Mini-14 full auto with a paperclip."
Can it? If so I would like to try, could be fun!
10mm-man
05-03-2013, 18:52
Gun store clerk"
"The 50 bmg is badass, the bullet doesn't even need to hit you, if it passes near you it will tear your arm off"
I heard you die from the percussion it hit's you with, when it zips by.....
There's a reason you guys carry....[Shotg]
but I'm mad now...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIpLd0WQKCY<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIpLd0WQKCY" target="_blank">
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIpLd0WQKCY (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIpLd0WQKCY)
spqrzilla
05-03-2013, 19:17
One of my favorite online comics Failure to Fire (NSFW):
http://ftf-comics.com/
CroiDhubh
05-03-2013, 23:54
Just thought of another:"What do you mean I can't just buy a silencer?! I need a trust or LLC?! My neighbors are on my ass and it's driving me nuts!"
USAFGopherMike
05-04-2013, 01:57
Where's the plasma rifle in a 40-watt range?
Holy crap. These examples make me wonder why gun stores don't have bouncers stationed at the doors.
"did you know a tampon fits perfectly in a 12ga barrel for use as a blow gun?"
That ain't true. Not the kind of tampons I have anyway.
SideShow Bob
05-04-2013, 13:41
That ain't true. Not the kind of tampons I have anyway.
TMI Irving, TMI..........
CroiDhubh
05-04-2013, 14:08
"I certainly hope it's not loaded. I pulled the trigger, like...five times just now."
That ain't true. Not the kind of tampons I have anyway.
o_0
BPTactical
05-04-2013, 14:57
That ain't true. Not the kind of tampons I have anyway.
So it is true.......you really are a worn out old whore![Coffee]
How dare you?! Worn out? I've still got some tricks that the young tail on the street couldn't dream of.
CroiDhubh
05-04-2013, 17:26
"So you mean my friend can't buy this for me if I can't pass the background?"
"A .380 is the same damn thing as a .38! My Keltec is a .38!"
How dare you?! Worn out? I've still got some tricks that the young tail on the street couldn't dream of.
I have an active imagination [Coffee]
Kraven251
05-04-2013, 18:01
There are two shops I will not frequent anymore because of getting flagged. One of those times the very very shiny pretty showpiece 1911 had a flying ashtray in the chamber. The clerk was as surprised as I was pissed off. Anything you handle is loaded until proven otherwise or it is sitting in pieces on the workbench.
Then again I should have known I was not in the best place when I overheard the fact one of the clerks had a negligent at his apartment, a couple days before.
hghclsswhitetrsh
05-04-2013, 18:08
"I don't have enough money for a full box of ammo, can I just buy two bullets?"
sabot_round
05-04-2013, 18:33
"Gun and ammo are cheaper than a divorce"
I love the line....." I need a gat you got any gauges?".
Sent from my Otterbox Defended Tactical iPhone using High Capacity "Clips".
This story cracks me up every time I tell it:
Buddy of mine worked the gun counter at the Gart Sports in Old Town Fort Collins years ago when it was there and sold guns. One evening a 'gentleman' comes in and looks a little bit shady. Eyes dodged and darted as he approached the counter in a swift yet nearly out of control manner. He looks my buddy dead in the eyes and in all seriousness his first words out of his mouth are: I need a gun. Any gun. My buddy says: No. Dude asks why and he says they have the right to deny people the sale of firearms if they feel they may be a danger to themselves or other by not being fit to own them. So he tells the guy exactly the reason he's not selling him a gun. The dude stands there for a minute, just amazed he can't buy a gun, any gun. He then draws a breath and tells my buddy he's going to JAX north of town and they'll sell him one. Uh, seriously? Dude heads out the door and my buddy picks up the phone to call JAX. He full describes the guy so they can't miss him and tells him the story of why they should deny him the sale of a firearm. About 20min later he gets a phone call and the guy on the other end is laughing so hard he almost can't get the words out. Through his laughs he manages to get the fact that a description wasn't necessary out because the dude rolled in about 15min after the call saying, you guessed it: I need a gun. Any gun. You can't make this stuff up people! Not only did he tell my buddy the exact store he was headed to but he used the exact same opening line that got him so far at Garts even after he was told it was the very reason he wasn't sold a firearm.
So, that's my story of what NOT to say at a gun store.
/thread
This story cracks me up every time I tell it:
Buddy of mine worked the gun counter at the Gart Sports in Old Town Fort Collins years ago when it was there and sold guns. One evening a 'gentleman' comes in and looks a little bit shady. Eyes dodged and darted as he approached the counter in a swift yet nearly out of control manner. He looks my buddy dead in the eyes and in all seriousness his first words out of his mouth are: I need a gun. Any gun. My buddy says: No. Dude asks why and he says they have the right to deny people the sale of firearms if they feel they may be a danger to themselves or other by not being fit to own them. So he tells the guy exactly the reason he's not selling him a gun. The dude stands there for a minute, just amazed he can't buy a gun, any gun. He then draws a breath and tells my buddy he's going to JAX north of town and they'll sell him one. Uh, seriously? Dude heads out the door and my buddy picks up the phone to call JAX. He full describes the guy so they can't miss him and tells him the story of why they should deny him the sale of a firearm. About 20min later he gets a phone call and the guy on the other end is laughing so hard he almost can't get the words out. Through his laughs he manages to get the fact that a description wasn't necessary out because the dude rolled in about 15min after the call saying, you guessed it: I need a gun. Any gun. You can't make this stuff up people! Not only did he tell my buddy the exact store he was headed to but he used the exact same opening line that got him so far at Garts even after he was told it was the very reason he wasn't sold a firearm.
So, that's my story of what NOT to say at a gun store.
/thread
haha, good story.
losttrail
05-06-2013, 12:17
"Smell this. Does it smell like chloroform?"
CroiDhubh
05-06-2013, 12:42
"Can I 'test drive' this? Like, take it to the range and see if I like it?"
"Smell this. Does it smell like chloroform?"
I've used that one in a bar.
"did you know a tampon fits perfectly in a 12ga barrel for use as a blow gun?"
That ain't true. Not the kind of tampons I have anyway.
yep scanker19 , irving is more of an 8ga guy
[LOL]
"Can I 'test drive' this? Like, take it to the range and see if I like it?"
You know the proper response to that question, right?
I had something similar asked of me when I first bought my car- "Hey man, can I take it for a spin, see how she handles?" The correct response, and the one I used: "Sure! So long as I can do the same with your wife/girlfriend." [Coffee]
So the bullets come out here...right?
Can you mix bullet size or are these things real picky... I want to start out with an easy to use gun.
Can I shoot this underwater?
Got anything bigger than .50 cal? I need to shoot really far?
"Dem n*ggaz aint gonna be happy when they come back around the crib".
All of the above actually occurred.
Granted you were there to observe the character of all these individuals, but I don't have much of a problem with this one. Home defense is one of the main reasons we all own guns. Should be no different if you talk like a gang banger.
Granted you were there to observe the character of all these individuals, but I don't have much of a problem with this one. Home defense is one of the main reasons we all own guns. Should be no different if you talk like a gang banger.
I respectfully, but emphatically disagree. These scum are part of the reason the rest of us feel a need to carry a gun in the first place.
I respectfully, but emphatically disagree. These scum are part of the reason the rest of us feel a need to carry a gun in the first place.
I'm fine with this 'scum' carrying if they've done nothing to prove they're unable to do so. What I have a problem with is when someone like my mother can't buy/carry a firearm because the goal is to prevent criminals from owning firearms before they're ever criminals and then people like this still get them. What's the point? Let EVERYONE carry. Wide open. Make it less cumbersome for those who obey the law to protect themselves and watch the crime rates go down, not up.
I respectfully, but emphatically disagree. These scum are part of the reason the rest of us feel a need to carry a gun in the first place.
How do you know anyone is scum?
Looking at my original post, guess I didn't state things like I intended. I'm not saying they shouldn't legally be able to own guns, or defend their home. I'm saying that if I were a gun-store employee, there's no way in hell I'd sell to some wanna-be G.
As far as my defining them as scum... regardless of what sweet, misunderstood, law-abiding little sugar cubes they may be on the inside, they're obviously of a mind-set to dress, speak, and behave outwardly in a manner that speaks to what they admire. If you're wearing your pants halfway around your ass, swaggering like you've got a steaming load in your skivvies, throwing out "nigga this" and "bitch that", you're scum. In my ever-so-humble-opinion.
But then again, I'm about as misanthropic as they come, so my definition of scum is broader than some folks'. :-)
Outward actions are all we have to judge people by. Politicians are an excellent example... Maybe O-Hole and his cronies are secretly wonderful, God-fearing, family-devoted, free-thinkers of a just and upright moral character on the inside.... but their actions are what we judge them by. Good trees don't bear bad fruit...
USAFGopherMike
05-07-2013, 08:14
I like the idea of everybody but criminals carrying... oh and dems. If you support the gun grabbers, you should have to rely on law enforcement. They'd change their minds real quick if they found themselves defenseless.
Outward actions are all we have to judge people by. Politicians are an excellent example... Maybe O-Hole and his cronies are secretly wonderful, God-fearing, family-devoted, free-thinkers of a just and upright moral character on the inside.... but their actions are what we judge them by. Good trees don't bear bad fruit...
Boom! I like this... Well put.
Oh and I agree completely with everything you said. I learned a long time ago from one of my LEO friends while growing up: "If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, acts like a duck and quacks like a duck, it probably isn't a dog, but in fact, a duck." [Beer]
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