CTFD Parenting

[Scogin]

Latest Parenting Trend: The CTFD Method (http://www.thedaddycomplex.com/post/55268573331/latest-parenting-trend-the-ctfd-method)I know many people want to stay current with the latest parenting trends—attachment parenting, minimalist parenting, Tiger Mother parenting, et al. Well, I’ve stumbled upon a new technique that will guarantee your child grows up to be an exemplary student and citizen. It’s called CTFD, which stands for “Calm The Fuck Down." And that’s not a message to give your kids. It’s for you.
Using CTFD assures you that — whichever way you choose to parent — your child will be fine (as long as you don’t abuse them, of course). To see it in action, here are some sample parenting scenarios and how CTFD can be employed:


Worried your friend’s child has mastered the alphabet quicker than your child? Calm the fuck down.
Scared you’re not imparting the wisdom your child will need to survive in school and beyond? Calm the fuck down.
Concerned that you’re not the type of parent you thought you’d be? Calm the fuck down.
Upset that your child doesn’t show interest in certain areas of learning? Calm the fuck down.
Stressed that your child exhibits behavior in public you find embarrassing? Calm the fuck down.

Yes, using the CTFD method, you’ll find the pressure lifted and realize your child loves you no matter what, even if they’ve yet to master the alphabet. You’ll also learn that whether or not you’re the best parent in the world, as long as you love your child, they’ll think you are and that’s what matters. Plus, CTFD makes you immune to those that prey upon the fears of new parents, like pseudoscientists and parenting authors.
To use CTFD, just follow these simple steps:


Calm the fuck down.
There is no second step.

So, ignore all those other parenting trends and stick to CTFD. You’ll be glad you did and so will your kid.

[hghclsswhitetrsh]

+ never shake a baby.

[HoneyBadger]

I like this. I'm a pretty chill guy, and nothing in my military career has gotten me riled up, but I'll tell you what: When your child is screaming and you don't know what to do, I have gone into full panic mode a few times...


From a new father, I think this is great advice. [Flower]

[th3w01f]

How about the FTFO method in certain situations.

True story from several years ago. A friend of mine's son (about 5) was having a sleep over with another boy about the same age. As the parents are falling asleep they hear (through the baby monitor) the other boy say something along the lines of "put it in your mouth, like you did last time. Do it now" his son said no but e other boy repeated "do it" more aggressively.

Needless to say, the sleepover was over.

[tmleadr03]

+ never shake a baby.

Shit, I have been drying my kids off after bath time all wrong...

[tmleadr03]

CTFD is really the way.

One of my pet peeves now, is people who try to give me advice on parenting. Me: "you have 2 kids that were born 5 years apart and you are giving me advice" I have 7 children. 6 at home and 1 at DU in Denver. Unless its the lady from the tv show with the 2 dozen kids, i dont want to hear it.

Quantity has a quality all of it's own.

[tmleadr03]

I like this. I'm a pretty chill guy, and nothing in my military career has gotten me riled up, but I'll tell you what: When your child is screaming and you don't know what to do, I have gone into full panic mode a few times...


From a new father, I think this is great advice. [Flower]

Good lord am I post whoring this thread.


For some reason children screaming just doesn't phase me. I have fallen asleep with my youngest screaming in her crib because she didn't want to go to bed yet. They stop eventually.

[KestrelBike]

How about the FTFO method in certain situations.

True story from several years ago. A friend of mine's son (about 5) was having a sleep over with another boy about the same age. As the parents are falling asleep they hear (through the baby monitor) the other boy say something along the lines of "put it in your mouth, like you did last time. Do it now" his son said no but e other boy repeated "do it" more aggressively.

Needless to say, the sleepover was over.

Haha errghh... Hopefully he is still young enough to never, ever remember those sleepovers.

[PugnacAutMortem]

For some reason children screaming just doesn't phase me. I have fallen asleep with my youngest screaming in her crib because she didn't want to go to bed yet. They stop eventually.

Your youngest is the key phrase in that sentence. I guarantee you couldn't have done that with your oldest since you were a new parent.

[tmleadr03]

Your youngest is the key phrase in that sentence. I guarantee you couldn't have done that with your oldest since you were a new parent.

Nope, had no issue with her screaming either. The wife on the other hand did so she wasn't allowed to scream. Ah well. Put them to bed, let them scream till they fall asleep. They sleep better that way, all tired out from crying.

[davsel]

My daughter cried, seemingly non stop, for the first three months.
Now, whenever I hear a baby cry, I break out in a sweat - wife just laughs at me.
I have used CTFD for most situations, but this one still gets me headed for full panic mode.

Had I been a Branch Dividian (never gonna happen), I would have come unglued when they played the baby crying through the loudspeakers - could hardly stand to hear it in the newscast.

[Scogin]

I know we are trying to get better at CTFD. Our first is now 5 weeks old and we still sleep with one eye open trying to make sure he is okay.

[tmleadr03]

I know we are trying to get better at CTFD. Our first is now 5 weeks old and we still sleep with one eye open trying to make sure he is okay.

They have these pads that go under the crib mattress that sense movement and sound an alarm when the baby stops moving.

The alarm is LOUD. Keep in mind when you pick the baby up you have to turn the alarm OFF. Ask me how I know that. [panic]

[WETWRKS]

Sorry...I don't buy into it.

Lets look into other scenarios.

Your child just called social services on you because you didn't buy him the latest XBox. CTFD

Your child just raped and murdered the little girl 2 doors down and hid the body in your garage. CTFD

Your child just told the officer at school that you own an arsenal of machineguns and ammo. CTFD

Your child just announced on the internet that they want to kill their entire high school. CTFD

Sorry...I just don't buy into this crap. There are times for proper anger.

[kawiracer14]

Sorry...I don't buy into it.

Lets look into other scenarios.

Your child just called social services on you because you didn't buy him the latest XBox. CTFD

Your child just raped and murdered the little girl 2 doors down and hid the body in your garage. CTFD

Your child just told the officer at school that you own an arsenal of machineguns and ammo. CTFD

Your child just announced on the internet that they want to kill their entire high school. CTFD

Sorry...I just don't buy into this crap. There are times for proper anger.

The article is written mostly in jest.

[RblDiver]

^ This. Notice the top was talking about "Tiger Mom," "Helicopter Parents" etc. The CTFD method is for people who have irrational worry that "My child isn't in an ivy league school at age 12" and the like.

Of COURSE in serious situations more serious actions are warranted. But, in general, CTFD. (Or, as in England in WWII, "Keep Calm and Carry On").

[Tim K]

Sorry...I don't buy into it.

Lets look into other scenarios.

Your child just called social services on you because you didn't buy him the latest XBox. CTFD

Your child just raped and murdered the little girl 2 doors down and hid the body in your garage. CTFD

Your child just told the officer at school that you own an arsenal of machineguns and ammo. CTFD

Your child just announced on the internet that they want to kill their entire high school. CTFD

Sorry...I just don't buy into this crap. There are times for proper anger.

Way to take the fun out of a humorous post. I'll bet you're a lot of fun at a party.

[blacklabel]

Sorry...I don't buy into it.

Lets look into other scenarios.

Your child just called social services on you because you didn't buy him the latest XBox. CTFD

Your child just raped and murdered the little girl 2 doors down and hid the body in your garage. CTFD

Your child just told the officer at school that you own an arsenal of machineguns and ammo. CTFD

Your child just announced on the internet that they want to kill their entire high school. CTFD

Sorry...I just don't buy into this crap. There are times for proper anger.

Jesus.

[WETWRKS]

Way to take the fun out of a humorous post. I'll bet you're a lot of fun at a party.

Problem is there are a lot of people out there who will take this as serious and try raising their kids this way. I know of a number of people who let their kids raise themselves because of garbage like this. I know of a family who has taken this mindset to the next level...they won't even tell their dog "no" because it might harm the psyche of the animal...guess how their 2 daughters have ended up from this kind of parenting.

[tmleadr03]

Problem is there are a lot of people out there who will take this as serious and try raising their kids this way. I know of a number of people who let their kids raise themselves because of garbage like this. I know of a family who has taken this mindset to the next level...they won't even tell their dog "no" because it might harm the psyche of the animal...guess how their 2 daughters have ended up from this kind of parenting.

Arent you just a bright ray of sunshine.

Clearly that is what the article and this thread is about. And that is also clearly what Calm The Fuck Down means. [hahhah-no]But perhaps you seriously missed that because you really need to CTFD.

I read the article. I have read and participated in this thread. No where has anyone said that you should ignore your kids or not parent your kids. You want to start a thread about how to abuse and miss treat your child, go ahead hoss no one is stopping you. This is not that thread. This is about relaxing a bit and letting your kids be kids.


Which you clearly do not understand. But thanks for pissing in my Cheerios. While your at it why don't you bring up child rape and kiddy porn.

[WETWRKS]

Arent you just a bright ray of sunshine.

Clearly that is what the article and this thread is about. And that is also clearly what Calm The Fuck Down means. [hahhah-no]But perhaps you seriously missed that because you really need to CTFD.

I read the article. I have read and participated in this thread. No where has anyone said that you should ignore your kids or not parent your kids. You want to start a thread about how to abuse and miss treat your child, go ahead hoss no one is stopping you. This is not that thread. This is about relaxing a bit and letting your kids be kids.


Which you clearly do not understand. But thanks for pissing in my Cheerios. While your at it why don't you bring up child rape and kiddy porn.

I haven't been disrespectful towards anyone here and don't appreciate being treated with this level of disrespect.

[GilpinGuy]

Problem is there are a lot of people out there who will take this as serious and try raising their kids this way. I know of a number of people who let their kids raise themselves because of garbage like this. I know of a family who has taken this mindset to the next level...they won't even tell their dog "no" because it might harm the psyche of the animal...guess how their 2 daughters have ended up from this kind of parenting.

My brother's wife (not so much my brother, but he's a willing accomplice) refuses to let anyone say the word "no" to her 4 year old. Guess what? She's a snotty, pain in the ass, spoiled kid. CTFD didn't work here. Kids do need "some" structure. Just saying, "Whatever, dude..." doesn't work.

I get the humorous tone of the post, I really do. I have an 8 month old and tell myself CTFD 10 times a day. Pureed carrots spewed across my face? CTFD...no big deal. Funny actually. Puked the same pureed carrots all over my shoulder? CTFD. It happens. Etc.... It's just part of the deal.

But I also have a 8 year old stepson who took off running in Target today because his mom said "no" when he wanted some video game. He got himself "lost" and they had to actually page my wife - she had the 8 month old in a stroller and couldn't keep up - she was mortified. He's in deep shit. No, CFTD won't work here. Discipline will. At a minimum, the X-Box is disappearing for a while. [cigar]

[HoneyBadger]

i dont think we are talking about the same thing. i am very strict with my kids. not pushing them to be a brain surgeon at 4 isnt the same as making it ok to be a mass murderer. get a grip.

This hits the nail on the head. ...and is apparantly really hard for some people to grasp.

CTFD doesn't mean not saying "no". It just means to chill out and let your kids be kids. If they want to play in the mud, let them play in the mud! ...Just don't forget to hose them off before they come back in the house. [mop]

[tmleadr03]

I haven't been disrespectful towards anyone here and don't appreciate being treated with this level of disrespect.

I would very much disagree. As a parent who does adhere to the CTFD method of parenting you came into this thread and said that my kid would claim to want to commit mass murder, would become a rapist, and a few other things because I don't hover over the kid.

Thanks for saying my parenting style will lead to having my kids rape, kill and pillage.

[stoner01]

I would very much disagree. As a parent who does adhere to the CTFD method of parenting you came into this thread and said that my kid would claim to want to commit mass murder, would become a rapist, and a few other things because I don't hover over the kid.

Thanks for saying my parenting style will lead to having my kids rape, kill and pillage.

I thought that was taught to all Marines anyway so as to pass on to future generations?

[davsel]

I haven't been disrespectful towards anyone here and don't appreciate being treated with this level of disrespect.


http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/sad/crybaby.gif
How do you feel about this level?

[hghclsswhitetrsh]

I wish my parents woulda ctfd back when I was gettin raised up.

[WETWRKS]

I would very much disagree. As a parent who does adhere to the CTFD method of parenting you came into this thread and said that my kid would claim to want to commit mass murder, would become a rapist, and a few other things because I don't hover over the kid.

Thanks for saying my parenting style will lead to having my kids rape, kill and pillage.


I dealt with your kind of parenting the other night. 2 parents and 2 grandparents sat at a resturaunt and watched as their 2 year old walked back and forth on the table and did nothing as this brat picked up an open bottle of hotsauce and pegged me in the back of the head with it. Sauce in my hair, sauce down the back of my shirt. Had to spend the evening smelling of it. Shirt ruined.

They were too busy CTFD to even appologize to me over it. Guess they were too busy CTFD to make the kid behave because following that they watched as the kid then tried to peg another customer with the ketchup.

[tmleadr03]

I dealt with your kind of parenting the other night. 2 parents and 2 grandparents sat at a resturaunt and watched as their 2 year old walked back and forth on the table and did nothing as this brat picked up an open bottle of hotsauce and pegged me in the back of the head with it. Sauce in my hair, sauce down the back of my shirt. Had to spend the evening smelling of it. Shirt ruined.

They were too busy CTFD to even appologize to me over it. Guess they were too busy CTFD to make the kid behave because following that they watched as the kid then tried to peg another customer with the ketchup.
[ROFL1]

You have no clue what you are talking about.

[PugnacAutMortem]

I dealt with your kind of parenting the other night. 2 parents and 2 grandparents sat at a resturaunt and watched as their 2 year old walked back and forth on the table and did nothing as this brat picked up an open bottle of hotsauce and pegged me in the back of the head with it. Sauce in my hair, sauce down the back of my shirt. Had to spend the evening smelling of it. Shirt ruined.

They were too busy CTFD to even appologize to me over it. Guess they were too busy CTFD to make the kid behave because following that they watched as the kid then tried to peg another customer with the ketchup.

Wow. Words cannot describe at how far away you are from getting the whole point of this thread.

And, to be as clear as possible, CTFD doesn't equal "No discipline" jackwagon. It means let your kids be kids. A little shit walking on the table and throwing things at strangers is not "letting them be kids". That's letting them be little shits. Two completely different things. Get it?

No...probably not.

[WETWRKS]

Wow. Words cannot describe at how far away you are from getting the whole point of this thread.

And, to be as clear as possible, CTFD doesn't equal "No discipline" jackwagon. It means let your kids be kids. A little shit walking on the table and throwing things at strangers is not "letting them be kids". That's letting them be little shits. Two completely different things. Get it?

No...probably not.

You want to let kids be kids is one thing...but I have seen too many parents use garbage like CTFD as an excuse to let their kids be monsters.

[RblDiver]

There's a difference between CTFD and DGAS.

[blacklabel]

There's a difference between CTFD and DGAS.

That's the truth. I've had a ton of CFTD moments but my son doesn't get to be a jackass in public or at home.

[tmleadr03]

You want to let kids be kids is one thing...but I have seen too many parents use garbage like CTFD as an excuse to let their kids be monsters.

Speaks experience, I can tell you have quite a few kids of your own. [ROFL1]

[Squeeze]

That's the truth. I've had a ton of CFTD moments but my son doesn't get to be a jackass in public or at home.

^^^This. Many years ago my now teenage son was 3 and we were in a local retail store shopping. He let go of my hand, I turned around and *poof* he was gone. I called his name and looked and looked for him to no avail. A sales associate saw me getting panicked and found out what the deal was. They locked the store down and everyone was on the hunt. I ended up finding him hiding (intentionally) in a circurlar rack of clothes. I yanked him out, turned him over my knee and blistered his ass. An old lady was a couple of feet away. She was glaring at me like I was the devil. I was so pissed, I looked her right in the eye and said, "Say one word and I'll turn you over my knee too!" Grabbed the little guy up, and out the door we went. We got home and mom gave him the business too. People who think when you spank your children they will grow up to be monsters need to STFU. My son is now 15 and he is an amazing young man, gets good grades and is excellent in sports. I'm very proud of him (despite him being a little brat when he was a toddler...LOL). Here's a pic of my two wonderful sons now.

http://i1094.photobucket.com/albums/i445/TangoDownPro/EthanandCole_zps586b3a09.jpg (http://s1094.photobucket.com/user/TangoDownPro/media/EthanandCole_zps586b3a09.jpg.html)