I am looking for a job!!!

[BEELZEBOB]

I have been with the same company for 8 years. I currently put in 50+ hours a week.

I am second in command to my owner, who I have recently taken a few moral and human issues with.

I am highly adaptable, hard working and a proud American LOL

Just putting it out there to see if a could potentially help another member.

[ChunkyMonkey]

That's a great resume.. so what do you do again? [Coffee]

[argonstrom]

That's a great resume.. so what do you do again? [Coffee]

I could always add another lot lizard to my staff. The pay blows, but you get a lot of tips!

[ray1970]

I've been looking for someone to mow my lawn. I won't pay you very much but you will be number two in charge right behind me.

[def90]

Porn isn't what you thought it would be?

Sent from my XT907 using Tapatalk 2

[Jamnanc]

Seriously though. What industry?

[Sparky]

You good with a shovel? I have a ditch that needs to be dug. 150 ft long 2.5 feet deep by thursday

[KS63]

We could use a person with your experience in________.

[tmleadr03]

Sorry, you sound overqualified.

[blacklabel]

I'd leave the "LOL" out of your actual resume.

[Great-Kazoo]

We've decided to go in another direction, regarding our hiring process.

[asmo]

I need a retaining wall built.. bunch of rock moved..

[kidicarus13]

I think the OP is looking for a career move, not something to do to keep busy on his next day off.

[ray1970]

Mowing my lawn could be a career.

[buffalobo]

Check with Marlin, may be an opening in the flipper dept.? :eek:

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using Tapatalk 2

[Great-Kazoo]

I think the OP is looking for a career move, not something to do to keep busy on his next day off.

Not to sure about the OP. However when i look for a job. My skill sets, work experience AND employment i am seeking are listed.

not LOL [facepalm]

4 sentences and not ONE of them mentions what he does now, what he is looking for etc. I know he (maybe she) is a PROUD AMERICAN and HIGHLY ADAPTABLE.
GREAT he a contortionist or CHAMELEON? Or did the OP mistake ar15.co for the CL personals. ??

[sniper7]

What is it that you do now? And what are the human and moral issues with the boss

[mtnhack]

No reply back... maybe someone was picked up in the sex trafficing bust?

[Great-Kazoo]

No reply back... maybe someone was picked up in the sex trafficing bust?

sounds like a pain in the ass [LOL]

[mahkcod]

That's a great resume.. so what do you do again? [Coffee]
http://www.roflphoto.com/images/50360e291d41c876f3000048.jpg?mw=555

[crays]

I've been looking for someone to mow my lawn. I won't pay you very much but you will be number two in charge right behind me.

Shouldn't that be THIRD in line, behind you Ray?

:D

Sent via my Mobile Work Avoidance Device

[hghclsswhitetrsh]

Planting tulips sounds intriguing?

[DD977GM2]

I could always add another lot lizard to my staff. The pay blows, but you get a lot of tips!

[ROFL1][ROFL2][ROFL3][LOL]

[brutal]

I have been with the same company for 8 years. I currently put in 50+ hours a week.

I am second in command to my owner, who I have recently taken a few moral and human issues with.

I am highly adaptable, hard working and a proud American LOL

Just putting it out there to see if a could potentially help another member.


How can one be second in command and enslaved?

Is American LOL a new ethnic group we should be PC with now?

[Lurch]

How can one be second in command and enslaved?

Is American LOL a new ethnic group we should be PC with now?

He works for his wife?

[crays]

He works for his wife?

Now THAT is some funny chit.


Sent via my Mobile Work Avoidance Device

[davsel]

You're in luck!
Here's one that just arrived in my inbox.
Requires a move, but you could keep us up-to-date on the latest govt surveillance - or become the next Edward Snowden.
If you get the job, I want the commission.



Booz Allen Hamilton has been awarded a contract to provide research and development expertise to the U.S. National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency’s Innovision Future Solutions Program (IFSP). IFSP provides support to perform path-breaking scientific research and transitions innovative concepts and capabilities required to solve the Intelligence Community and Department of Defense’s most complex problems. Additionally, IFSPexplores emerging scientific capabilities and opportunities such as high-performance computing or Big Data, and surveillance, in high-threat environments. (http://www.boozallen.com/media-center/press-releases/48399320/Booz-to-provide-specialized-scientific-research)

We are currently identifying candidates for multiple Software Developer openings:

junior, mid and senior levels
Location: Springfield, VA (also St. Louis, MO)
Clearance: TS/SCI

Open Source Web Developer
-3+ years of experience with Web services, Web applications, and JBOSS ESB and application servers
-Experience with Java, SQL, ANT, J2EE, JSP Servlets, MySQL, and Spring Framework
-Knowledge of JIRA and Agile methodologies

Application Developers
-8 years+ Software Application Design and Development
-Java and C++

Cloud Visualization Developer
-8+ years of experience with software engineering
-Experience with HTML5 and OpenGL

Enterprise Software Engineer
-12 years+ application design and development
-Experience in the intelligence community
-Experience with Java, C/C++, python, UNIX and Linux administration and scripting, or Web Service design and integration
-Experience with SOAP and WSDL based, JMS, Active MQ transactions, or OGC Web Feature Service (WFS) transaction
-Experience with User Interface design and coding, Spring Framework, or JSP
-Experience with Ant or Oracle/SQL programming

Ozone Widget Developer
-8+ years of experience with software engineering
-Experience with Ozone Widget development

Web Services Engineer
-8+ years of experience with systems engineering
-Experience in the intelligence community
-Experience with Cloud and Web Services

If you are interested and believe you may be qualified for these or related opportunities, please email your current resume to shell_nicole@ne.bah.com. We also have Software Engineering and Systems Engineering opportunities throughout the DC Metro and Baltimore areas, as well as in additional US locations to include St. Louis. Please be aware that I have your contact information because of a resume previously provided in our system. However, if you are aware of any conflicts of interest (including non-solicitation agreements) regarding employment with Booz Allen, disregard this message. Thank you!

At Booz Allen Hamilton, talented people have an unmatched opportunity to be their absolute best―to do important work, with exceptional colleagues, in a firm dedicated to the spirit of service. Work among people who share commitment to helping clients, enriching our communities, and protecting the environment. With more than 25,000 people worldwide, Booz Allen-with its core values and tradition of service-offers an excellent environment for your aspirations and experience. You’ll find the support and resources you need to keep learning, balance work-life integration, and be recognized for your achievements. Your ideas can take root among a talented team of thought leaders and high achievers—dedicated to excellence, passionate about results, and committed to impact and growth. There’s room to develop at Booz Allen where action leads to impact and impact leads to growth.

We are proud of our diverse environment, EOE, M/F/D/V. Applicants selected will be subject to a security investigation and may need to meet eligibility requirements for access to classified information.


Nicole Shell | Booz Allen Hamilton | Technology and Security Recruiting | shell_nicole@ne.bah.com

Booz Allen Hamilton works with clients to deliver results that endure. We are seeking to hire qualified professionals across many disciplines and are sending this email exclusively to the recipient for employment networking purposes. This email may contain confidential information regarding employment opportunities with the firm and is intended solely to the individual to whom it is addressed. Please do not distribute this email without permission of the sender. If you believe you have received this communication in error or do not wish to receive information about employment opportunities with Booz Allen, please contact the sender immediately and delete it from your system. Thank You.

[Jer]

I've been looking for someone to mow my lawn. I won't pay you very much but you will be number two in charge right behind me.

Sounds like a lateral move here... take it!

[Jer]

Planting tulips sounds intriguing?

I wonder if he's qualified to plant tulips on my ass and suck a fart out.

[Great-Kazoo]

Since he has not replied, i would say he is in HR.

[Jer]

...or he may have checked out earlier to go golfing in which case he's got upper management written all over him.

[RblDiver]

...or he may have checked out earlier to go golfing in which case he's got upper management written all over him.

Only if he punched the baby and grabbed the money! http://dilbert.com/2013-07-29/

[Monky]

Perhaps this is why he's searching for employment? No attention to detail?

[brutal]

Perhaps this is why he's searching for employment? No attention to detail?

Or common sense?

[Monky]

Or common sense?

If it were truly common we wouldn't have to point it out :)

[ray1970]

Perhaps he is in the entertainment industry. It seems this thread has entertained and amused us.

[Coffee]

[Great-Kazoo]

Perhaps he is in the entertainment industry. It seems this thread has entertained and amused us.

[Coffee]

maybe someone bullied him[ROFL3] Ray you're a tactiful guy, pm him to see if he's found work yet.

[ray1970]

maybe someone bullied him[ROFL3] Ray you're a tactiful guy, pm him to see if he's found work yet.

I should PM him. To see if he is interested in mowing my lawn for me.

[Sparky]

Street corner on East Colfax. Remember do not sample the product. Set your own hours.

[spqrzilla]

You know at first I thought this was cruel ganging up on the OP ... and then I started to get caught up in the whole thing ...

[Great-Kazoo]

You know at first I thought this was cruel ganging up on the OP ... and then I started to get caught up in the whole thing ...

Not you[LOL]