Canadian customs

[SSChameleon]

I just went through customs the the Canadian border. The Canadian officer asked all the usual questions like, where are you going, who are you staying with, how do you know them. Then he scans my passport and asks me where I keep my firearm.

I wasn't wearing anything or carrying anything firearms related, so I said at home in the pistol box. He than asks, " all of them?". I said yes, then asked if my passport showed my CCW, he told me to move along.

[ray1970]

It was probably just a generic question.

I would have responded with a puzzled look, followed by the phrase "Guns? I don't own any guns."

[jreifsch80]

The Canadians have probably heard the older news reports how all guns in Mexico come from America so they just wanted to make sure none get smuggled there too (did he ask you if you work for the ATF?)

[SSChameleon]

The guy ahead of me told the agent he had not purchased a return ticket so the agent asked him how much money was in his bank account. The guy had more than enough to cover the $22 bus ticket.

[UrbanWolf]

Canadians customs guys have always seemed to have a grumpy ass attitude. Not sure why, also technically they are still loyal to the queen of England.

[palepainter]

Funny you should mention this. I spent about 10 minutes of interrogation in Edmonton this past week. I went up with a buddy to a filming of a show we were involved in. They even had to call the principal party that we were there on behalf of. It was the worst experience I had traveling. I think the immigration officers were lawyers.

[ray1970]

My mom got our van searched at the Canadian border many years ago. We had it full of people and she missed the head count by one person.

[asmo]

Its a random unrelated question. The goal is to see how you answer it. The answer itself doesn't matter.

[Kraven251]

never had much problem with the Canadians, always came two steps from a cavity search with the US customs guys though

[hghclsswhitetrsh]

Thorny: "Where you boys headed?"
Stoner 2: "(Whispers) Canada"
Stoner 1: "C-Canada. We're going over the border to canada for some french fries and Gravy, sir."
Stoner 2: "Poutine."
Thorny: "Canada, huh? Almost made it."

[centrarchidae]

“When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?"”
-Steven Wright

[Dave]

I remember going to Windsor all the time as a kid and all we ever got asked was what nationality we were and what the purpose of our visit was. After Sep 11 crossing both ways got stupid a hell, though it was still the quickest route to go through there on my way home from Ft Drum.

[clublights]

I got thrown out of Canadia in 08 while on tour with a band for not having paperwork to prove that a weapons charge I was arrested for was dropped by the DA....


talk about a pain in the ass...


And I have to go again in nov....

[BPTactical]

Fer cryin oout looud, what bunch of hoseheads.
Should asked him where his toque was eh?

[Eggysrun]

The last time I went through Canadian customs I was asked if I owned firearms and I said yes. He asked if I had them with me and I said no, I left them at home. They proceeded to have my pickup truck be moved into the inspection area and have us wait. They had us go to another building to wait and they check out my US passport which shows my birth city being in Montreal and says I'm good cause I'm "Canadian". See's my wife's US passport and she is US born and proceeds to interrogate my wife with questions about where she works, what she does, etc but not in a very nice way. It felt like they thought we were trying to move to Canada or something because my pickup truck had camping gear and stuff and was pretty packed up (we were going to northern Canada in Ontario to do some camping) I wasn't very happy how I'm ignored because I was born in Canada but my wife gets the third degree for no reason other than the fact I admitted I owned firearms....and at the time she didn't have any of her own.

[Danimal]

When I was stationed in Bremerton WA we would make a trip up to Vancouver every so often. Cigarettes were like $15 a pack so we thought that we would be smart and bring a carton each because we were going to be there for three days. There were four of us all riding together so when we were searched at the border they freaked out. They were so sure that we were smuggling them in for re-sale but back then when the partying got hard two packs a day was a light day. (I quit about five years ago now) But long story short the Mounties were screaming at us "Dontcha know you can go ta prizon for dat eh" and it took about three hours for them to let us go. But in that time we all smoked about 3/4 of a pack of cigarettes so they just kinda gave up.

Coming back from Europe in June was a treat though. We landed at JFK and if you thought TSA and customs was a bunch of incompetent jack wagons here you would be in for a real surprise. Setting up the scene, I am walking into the control area getting ready to go through customs. There are about 10 lines of people totaling about 5000 people by my best estimate. There are people from all over the world as it was a flight from Frankfurt. As close as I can spell it out this is what the TSA agent was screaming at people as we walked by: "If you be trvlin again, best know what line you need stand in. If you plane fly out befo 7PM an connect again get yo bags and get in dat line der" (Points to the general direction of about 3000 of the 5000 people) I could piece it together and since I had a connecting flight leaving before 7pm I jumped in the expedited line and made it no problem. But as I waited and looked around I asked myself what the hell would l do if I were not a native English speaker, which by my estimation was about 50% of the people in there. That is not where is stopped, but every stereotype that you could imagine for a rude New York native asshole was confirmed over and over again until I was about to lose my mind. On my vacation I flew into and out of Dublin, Oslo and Frankfurt and not once was I even close to as furious as I was landing in the ol US of A. Also no one else makes you take off your shoes, and they think we are retards for doing that because there are detectors for explosive residue that cost millions of dollars all over the place that make taking off your shoes completely redundant and slows everything down to a pace that only TSA can keep up with. It is a great message to send to everyone that visits our country.

[stoner01]

Tards Standing Around

[electronman1729]

When i would travel to Fort McKay through Calgary with my old job the customs people were always snotty. While traveling with my co-worker who was older, was not allowed in the country due to a DUI over 30 years ago. Told him to turn around and head back home and left me a man short on our job.

[ChadAmberg]

Saw this today courtesy of Michael Z Williamson. Kinda explains all about the Canucks...

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA

1. Vancouver : 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
5. Weed.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA

1. Big rock between you and B.C.
2. Ottawa who?
3. Tax is 5% instead of the approximately 200% as it is for the rest of the country.
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN

1. You never run out of wheat.
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
5. Daylight savings time? Who the hell needs that!

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA

1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
6.The Jets are back!

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO

1. You live in the centre of the universe.
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC

1. Racism is socially acceptable.
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English-speaking neighbor will move out next.
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada ...
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo A*#!%!"?

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK


1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick ...
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA


1. Everyone can play the fiddle... The ones who can't, think they can.
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND

1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island , you still got the big, new bridge.
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from..
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND

1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
3. The workday is about two hours long.
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding.

[Danimal]

^^ That is pretty funny.

[Kraven251]

amusing, though not to completely derail the thread, Quebec was one of the least racially charged places I had ever been as long as you disregard the Hatians, but everyone of all creeds and colors pretty much despised them The only issue that bordered on "racism" was Francophone v. Anglophone, now that shit got scary.

[BPTactical]

^^ That is pretty funny.

Beyond PRETTY funny, the wife just jumped out of bed wondering why I was laughing so hard.....

[Great-Kazoo]

Reminds me of this firesign theater skit.

This is Side Five.
Follow in your book and repeat after me
as we learn three new words in Turkish:

Towel . . . .

Bath . . . .

Border . . . .

May I see your passport, please?

I'd like to speak to my attorney

He's in the cell next to you.

[KevDen2005]

Thorny: "Where you boys headed?"
Stoner 2: "(Whispers) Canada"
Stoner 1: "C-Canada. We're going over the border to canada for some french fries and Gravy, sir."
Stoner 2: "Poutine."
Thorny: "Canada, huh? Almost made it."

Almost made it

[gos]

http://www.newfiejokes.net/

[kawiracer14]

I usually find it is the US immigration guys that are more of a pain in the ass then Canada. Rode my motorcycle from NH to Montreal and on the way back the immigration guy was extremely interested in seeing the inside of my MC cover bag, and everything in my backpacks.

[sniper7]

We used to drive up fishing as a kid and never got searched. Took .22 rifles with us. Tons of gas because it was cheaper in the states. Had a few trucks with boats in the group.
i used to fly up there a lot to Toronto and Montreal but avoid it now, too much of a pita for customs every time and then I don't want to pay the extra for cell coverage.

[clublights]

Since I have my trip in November and finding out that a DWAI is the same as a DWI in the eyes of Canada....



Anyone know a lawyer to help me navigate the system ?

The one I spoke with already ( Known as THE guy in entertainment circles) wants more then I'll make for the whole damn tour.....

I could chance my luck and get a Temp permit at the border but if they go sideways on me.... ugh...

[BREATHER]

The taking your shoes off thing is purely a humiliation and control thing. You know, sheeple stuff. Little by little "they" want to and will beat you down and it appears we ain't gonna do nuthin about it...."They have pros, shrinks etc. sitting around figuring how else to subjugate American citizens slowly without us realizing it....

[Ronin13]

I'll say this... say what you will about Canada, but they got one thing right: Our national past time- hot dogs and baseball, Canada's national past time- beer and hockey.

But BREATHER is totally right- the shoes thing has absolutely nothing to do with security.
This is older, but a great doc on the post-9/11 airline/airport security BS:
http://pleaseremoveyourshoesmovie.com/
It's on Netflix.