Saw this and laughed hard..

[BPTactical]

So on "that other site" there was a thread about asking the significant other for sex via text vs in person.
One post was great:

Him: DTF?
Her: Yes! Who is this?
Him: :-(

Got a good laugh out of it......

[bogie]

Ouch [facepalm]

[sniper7]

Haha! Poor bastard

[hghclsswhitetrsh]

Well it is a vague question.

[Bailey Guns]

[ROFL3]

[Mazin]

That's why you don't date strippers.


Sent from my Otterbox Defended Tactical iPhone using High Capacity "Clips".

[mtnhack]

Got her number?

[BPTactical]

That's why you don't date strippers.


Sent from my Otterbox Defended Tactical iPhone using High Capacity "Clips".

Correct, one does not date a stripper.
You schtoink a stripper.

And then visit your local free clinic ASAP.

[def90]

Correct, one does not date a stripper.
You schtoink a stripper.

And then visit your local free clinic ASAP.

Brings back memories.. back in Minneapolis that would have been the Red Door Clinic.. lol

Sent from my XT907 using Tapatalk 2

[Boadie30]

I read this as well... Also was entertained.. Did text the wife the same... will probably be huge fail.. Yes I'm predicting a fail but just like that Allstate commercial.. Hell Yeah..

[Boadie30]

I read this as well... Also was entertained.. Did text the wife the same... will probably be huge fail.. Yes I'm predicting a fail but just like that Allstate commercial.. Hell Yeah..

Here is the first reply;

Her: WTH? Why?

I'm wondering if she has the slightest clue what I'm talking about.. lol

Me: I really would like

[BPTactical]

I love my wifey dearly. I didn't send an inquiry for "DTF".
I was much more romantic and refined: "DTML?"

I have yet to get a response.........

[Boadie30]

I love my wifey dearly. I didn't send an inquiry for "DTF".
I was much more romantic and refined: "DTML?"

I have yet to get a response.........

This is actually worse considering... using the ML is just bull shit and she knows your not thinking that... lol

[Boadie30]

Here is the first reply;

Her: WTH? Why?

I'm wondering if she has the slightest clue what I'm talking about.. lol

Me: I really would like

Her: Where did you hear that?

Me: Where have you?

Her: Jersey Shore

(Oh... jesus h christ... stupid fucken jersey shore)

Me: the same one my daughters watch????????

Her: No they don't watch that show

(Thank god)

Me: well?

Her: will see

This is proof it works... Start texting..

[Boadie30]

Does dine mean dinner or does dine mean... you know.. hoping for the latter.. lol seriously which is it.. I've heard both..

[Irving]

She called me.
Her: Have you been watching sex shows on the TV again?
Me: What the hell are you talking about? (I already forgot I texted her).
Her: Well have you?
Me: Oooohhhhh. No, I was reading a thread. It was about asking your significant other to have sex either via text message or in person.
Her: The thread was about letting your significant other have sex with another person?
Me: NO! That's not even close to what I said.
Her: Well, you mumbled and it sounds like your mouth is full.
Me: Oh, sorry about that. Me and the cat are sharing some salami.
Her: Well, I'm down the street, I'll be home soon.

Went about as well as expected.

[Mazin]

Correct, one does not date a stripper.
You schtoink a stripper.

And then visit your local free clinic ASAP.

Free C L I N I C you say? Oh you mean Planned Parenthood, and it's far from free ;)


Sent from my Otterbox Defended Tactical iPhone using High Capacity "Clips".

[UrbanWolf]

Lawl

[BPTactical]

Well, just got the reply: "Wtf???"


I guess I see how this is gonna work out.......

[theGinsue]

That's why you don't date strippers.

No. *I* don't date strippers because I'm an overweight, upper middle-aged balding man with no money. And, if that weren't enough, I don't date strippers because my wife would kill me after cutting off my penis and force feeding it to me.

This is why *I* don't date strippers.

Oh, and as far as asking my wife for sex, either via text or in person, I won't do it. She gave up sex for Lent (and we're not even Catholic)....back in 2003.

[Great-Kazoo]

She called me.
Her: Have you been watching sex shows on the TV again?
Me: What the hell are you talking about? (I already forgot I texted her).
Her: Well have you?
Me: Oooohhhhh. No, I was reading a thread. It was about asking your significant other to have sex either via text message or in person.
Her: The thread was about letting your significant other have sex with another person?
Me: NO! That's not even close to what I said.
Her: Well, you mumbled and it sounds like your mouth is full.
Me: Oh, sorry about that. Me and the cat are sharing some salami.
Her: Well, I'm down the street, I'll be home soon.

Went about as well as expected.

Sure you were , ok.

[DFBrews]

She called me.
Her: Have you been watching sex shows on the TV again?
Me: What the hell are you talking about? (I already forgot I texted her).
Her: Well have you?
Me: Oooohhhhh. No, I was reading a thread. It was about asking your significant other to have sex either via text message or in person.
Her: The thread was about letting your significant other have sex with another person?
Me: NO! That's not even close to what I said.
Her: Well, you mumbled and it sounds like your mouth is full.
Me: Oh, sorry about that. Me and the cat are sharing some salami.
Her: Well, I'm down the street, I'll be home soon.

Went about as well as expected.


That is awesome

[Aloha_Shooter]

I'm lost. I think I got the "TF" part but what the heck are D, M and L other than Roman numerals?

[Irving]

DTF stands for Down to F*ck.

[BPTactical]

ML is the Barry White version of fu*k

[<MADDOG>]

I'm lost. I think I got the "TF" part but what the heck are D, M and L other than Roman numerals?

Don't feel bad, I had to look it up too..Guess I'm getting old!

[glock21]

Lol it works.
Me: DTF?
Her: ok, when?
Me: after I poop!
Her: GOODNIGHT!

I couldnt stop laughing.

[newracer]

Lol it works.
Me: DTF?
Her: ok, when?
Me: after I poop!
Her: GOODNIGHT!

I couldnt stop laughing.

Fail!

[glock21]

It was a total fail. Maybe tomorrow lol

[buffalobo]

Don't feel bad, I had to look it up too..Guess I'm getting old!

Shit went right over my head til I pulled up urban dictionary.

That shit is pretty funny.

[jhood001]

How in the hell do you guys know what these acronyms stand for? Or do I dare ask?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to this (http://www.ar-15.co/threads/112521-about-to-meet-a-strange-customer) thread where I'm seeking BBBW.

[Irving]

Down To Install Carpet?

[jhood001]

Down To Install Carpet?

So much win here.

[theGinsue]

How in the hell do you guys know what these acronyms stand for? Or do I dare ask?
I use Google when I see acronyms I don't understand. Most of the time on this site the acronym is best explained by UrbanDictionary.com (http://www.urbandictionary.com/)

In this case I had to look up "DTF", but once I understood that one, the "DTML" was obvious (particularly in the context the poster was using).

[Bailey Guns]

Lol it works.
Me: DTF?
Her: ok, when?
Me: after I poop!
Her: GOODNIGHT!

I couldnt stop laughing.

That shit right there is heroic!

[Beer]

[Boadie30]

Lol it works.
Me: DTF?
Her: ok, when?
Me: after I poop!
Her: GOODNIGHT!

I couldnt stop laughing.

My wife was in tears when I told her this..

I thought the D was Dine (not the consuming food type of dine) Darn..

[Singlestack]

Well, not just me who didn't get it (originally). Sent DTF? to wifester and received back "which Denver Tech Facility"?

[bellavite1]

Got her number?

NICE![Coffee]

[BPTactical]

Well, not just me who didn't get it (originally). Sent DTF? to wifester and received back "which Denver Tech Facility"?

And kicked to the curb we are.........mine didn't pan out either.

[buffalobo]

Dammit, knew I should have used Barry White approach. She said it would take more effort than a text.

Sent from my electronic ball and chain.

[Irving]

Dammit, knew I should have used Barry White approach. She said it would take more effort than a text.

Sent from my electronic ball and chain.

That means she wanted a picture noob.

[HoneyBadger]

That means she wanted a picture noob.
[Eek3]

[buffalobo]

That means she wanted a picture noob.

Well how the hell am I supposed to take my own picture with a cell phone?

Sometimes I hate being a dumbass.[Bang] [gohome]

[Irving]

Well how the hell am I supposed to take my own picture with a cell phone?

Sometimes I hate being a dumbass.[Bang] [gohome]

There is a certain politician that can give you tips. :p

[cfortune]

Well how the hell am I supposed to take my own picture with a cell phone?

Sometimes I hate being a dumbass.[Bang] [gohome]

It's easier if you sit down.

[Bailey Guns]

It's easier if you sit down.

Taking a self-portrait with a phone? Or being a dumbass?