Best parenting advice I have ever seen:

[HoneyBadger]

http://qz.com/165716/how-i-made-sure-all-12-of-my-kids-could-pay-for-college-themselves/


My wife and I had 12 children over the course of 15 1/2 years. Today, our oldest is 37 and our youngest is 22. I have always had a very prosperous job and enough money to give my kids almost anything. But my wife and I decided not to.I will share with you the things that we did, but first let me tell you the results: All 12 of my children have college degrees (or are in school), and we as parents did not pay for it. Most have graduate degrees. Those who are married have wonderful spouses with the same ethics and college degrees, too. We have 18 grandchildren who are learning the same things that our kids learned—self respect, gratitude, and a desire to give back to society.


We raised our family in Utah, Florida, and California; my wife and I now live in Colorado. In March, we will have been married 40 years. I attribute the love between us as a part of our success with the children. They see a stable home life with a commitment that does not have compromises.


Here’s what we did right (we got plenty wrong, too, but that’s another list):

To preserve the formatting, you can read the rest at the link provided above. I really think this is the best parenting advice I have ever read/heard

[kwando]

As a new parent, I love reading articles like this. Thanks for sharing.

[HoneyBadger]

As a new parent, I love reading articles like this. Thanks for sharing.
Me too! I find them very inspiring and motivating.

[UncleDave]

Very much like I was raised

[tmleadr03]

It is a vagina not a clown car...


Some good stuff in there, not everything I agree with.

[ZERO THEORY]

Awesome article; bookmarking.

[Musashi]

Great article, thanks for sharing.
Now to get the daughter to pick up her room...

[sniper7]

Thanks for sharing

[Aloha_Shooter]

Excellent article. If I had kids, I'd try to implement it ... but 12 kids in 15.5 years? His wife is a saint ...

[ruthabagah]

Agree with a lot of them, practice the one I agree on.

[SamuraiCO]

Would be a great family to be neighbors with or friends of your own kids.

[stenz]

Good article.

[gnihcraes]

Now to get the daughter to pick up her room...

Let me know if you accomplish this.

[ZERO THEORY]

but 12 kids in 15.5 years?

If you had 1-3 kids to implement these strategies with, imagine the possibilities. Each child would not only get these self-sufficiency principles, but you'd actually have some time to dedicate to each individual child. I'd say the kind of distant overseer aspect is my main disagreement with the article. Those same rules with some actual interpersonal care would be phenomenal for a developing child/adolescent.


Would be a great family to be neighbors with or friends of your own kids.

I don't have any kids of my own, but I know that my nephews could certainly use some peers like this in their lives. Damn kids are already par for this generation's course; they and their buddies all huddle together to play around on tablets and XBOX.

[gnihcraes]

Holy smokes, after reading most of that list, I'm not sure how anyone could do it. I'm not sure I really believe all that stuff listed.

[HoneyBadger]

If you had 1-3 kids to implement these strategies with, imagine the possibilities. Each child would not only get these self-sufficiency principles, but you'd actually have some time to dedicate to each individual child. I'd say the kind of distant overseer aspect is my main disagreement with the article. Those same rules with some actual interpersonal care would be phenomenal for a developing child/adolescent.



I don't have any kids of my own, but I know that my nephews could certainly use some peers like this in their lives. Damn kids are already par for this generation's course; they and their buddies all huddle together to play around on tablets and XBOX.
Agreed. I think this is more practical on a smaller scale, and I could only hope that my kids can make friends like this.

[jackthewall81]

Wish my parents made me build my own car and computer!

[MarkCO]

Not a bad list, but there is a lot more to it. Love (the real meaning, not what most Americans use) encouragement and truth had to be part and parcel of their strategy to be successful as well.

I had to buy (and build) my cars, pay for my education, milk the goats, feed the chickens, butcher my deer, and I am putting my kids on the same path. Simply put, all they have really done is figure out how to put "farm life" lessons into the modern times.

[Zach O]

Some good stuff. But honestly, sounds like a shitty child hood. My little girl can play princess while her mom cleans the toilet. 3 years old? Horse shit. You only get to be a child once.

[Irving]

I'd say the kind of distant overseer aspect is my main disagreement with the article.

I was just going to comment on this, and how they completely left it out of the article. None of this is possible without intense contact and attention from the parents. My wife wanted to work out and didn't have time to make me dinner tonight, so our six year-old made me dinner. I was very seriously impressed. Here it is:

https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-IwkolYLnJ-U/UtSr9mAOXeI/AAAAAAAAHa8/UBELbrMLP-c/w999-h562-no/20140113_201600_Richtone%2528HDR%2529.jpg

Our daughter didn't learn to make a sandwich because we forced her to cook for herself. She learned by playing "restaurant" with my wife many nights where they make dinner together. She even included the side and a drink.

As far as cleaning toilets and stuff goes, it only takes 15 minutes to clean a toilet if you do a GREAT job. A kid missing out on 15 minutes of play time is no issue.

[newracer]

So they kids do the chores, help each other with homework, make dinner, and build their own cars and computers. My question is what do the parents do?

[blacklabel]

So they kids do the chores, help each other with homework, make dinner, and build their own cars and computers. My question is what do the parents do?

Increase the size of their workforce, I mean make more babies.

[HoneyBadger]

So they kids do the chores, help each other with homework, make dinner, and build their own cars and computers. My question is what do the parents do?


You think all that was possible without an incredible amount of effort from the parents? LOL

[Great-Kazoo]

You think all that was possible without an incredible amount of effort from the parents? LOL

DISCLAIMER: i didn't bother to read the story. WHY? because while it's their choice. IMO, 12 children is greedy.

12 kids is INSANE. We know 3 families that had 12-17 kids per. Some folks use birth control, others use Birth as Control. More power to them.
Our daughter started working @ 12 (same age i did) 4:30 in the am, driving her to the dairy to feed calves, before school etc etc. It's not how many or few children you have. It is how you raise them.


If you instill a sense of value & worth, along with honesty, you have done your job. Because it worked for the family of 14, doesn't mean it works for everyone. Having a honor student who does everything perfect, doesn't mean their life is .
Peer Pressure within and outside the family, issue at work, internal demons can never be accounted for outside the home.

[mcjhr]

I liked the article. I don't think financially and time wise it could work for every family but the underlying fundamentals are the same, as kazoo mentioned.

I doubt the author is telling you to have your kid repair a car. It could be a bicycle (i was refurbing rusted dumpster bikes making them into tricked out lowriders, or decked out cruisers).

Only line I didn't quite agree with was the parent not their friend. But I think it is mostly not delving into the meaning of what he meant by that. It comes off harsh, only because it is not explained.

[newracer]

You think all that was possible without an incredible amount of effort from the parents? LOL

That is kind of my point. I have two kids and it takes a lot of effort to raise them. I am part of everything they do (school, sports, chores, etc) and it takes just about all the time I have outside of work. With that many kids the parents are now relying on the older kids to supplement the parenting. The main reason I don't have more kids is I don't have the time required to raise them.

I agree with a lot that was said in the article but it is taking it a little to the extreme.

[nynco]

Reminds me of some of the stuff my dad did. At age 15 we bought a car, matching funds from my paper routes. Which I had 2 paper routes (morning and evening) and had a job washing dishes on various days and weekends. I was a greedy little kid. Anyways... that car had a blown motor, busted out windows, various damage all over and worn down. Dad said you want a car when you are 16, well fix it. Best life lesson ever. I can do any and all work on every car I have ever owned since.

[blacklabel]

Reminds me of some of the stuff my dad did. At age 15 we bought a car, matching funds from my paper routes. Which I had 2 paper routes (morning and evening) and had a job washing dishes on various days and weekends. I was a greedy little kid. Anyways... that car had a blown motor, busted out windows, various damage all over and worn down. Dad said you want a car when you are 16, well fix it. Best life lesson ever. I can do any and all work on every car I have ever owned since.

Your dad subsidized your first car? Makes sense. I kid, I kid.

[Aloha_Shooter]

So they kids do the chores, help each other with homework, make dinner, and build their own cars and computers. My question is what do the parents do?

You ever notice that a lot of times it takes more effort to show someone how to do something than to just do it yourself? I'm pretty sure the parents were pretty busy keeping track of what the kids were doing and how they were doing it. As a Scoutmaster, we have the boys "do" almost everything and yet I rarely seem to have time to do much reading or snoozing when I'm camping with them.

[Aloha_Shooter]

Reminds me of some of the stuff my dad did. At age 15 we bought a car, matching funds from my paper routes. Which I had 2 paper routes (morning and evening) and had a job washing dishes on various days and weekends. I was a greedy little kid. Anyways... that car had a blown motor, busted out windows, various damage all over and worn down. Dad said you want a car when you are 16, well fix it. Best life lesson ever. I can do any and all work on every car I have ever owned since.

My dad handed me the keys to the family station wagon. Said he'd take care of the insurance but gas and maintenance was my problem. I burned through 2.5 years of savings from my paper route just to pay for gas and oil changes on that pig in 1 year but I could change tires, oil, and sparks without breaking a sweat -- well, I DID get pretty sweaty the one time I had to use a bicycle pump to fill one of the tires ...

[Skip]

I like it! I like the ideas and principals the most.

Some of it I find unrealistic. How did their kids find the time to take AP courses, play a sport, be in a club, volunteer in the community, and restore a Mustang? That doesn't add up. I took AP courses, I was in a club that required practice three days a week after school and competition almost every Saturday for most of the school year. I went to church and did community things. I worked part time to pay for car insurance and spending money. I didn't really have time for much else. When it came time to go to college, I had spent zero time figuring out what I wanted to do in life.

[HoneyBadger]

I like it! I like the ideas and principals the most.

Some of it I find unrealistic. How did their kids find the time to take AP courses, play a sport, be in a club, volunteer in the community, and restore a Mustang? That doesn't add up. I took AP courses, I was in a club that required practice three days a week after school and competition almost every Saturday for most of the school year. I went to church and did community things. I worked part time to pay for car insurance and spending money. I didn't really have time for much else. When it came time to go to college, I had spent zero time figuring out what I wanted to do in life.


I think the real takeaway here is the principles that govern the story. Every family situation is different. Maybe you can't afford to do some of those things, but the ideas can be applied to other things. No, you don't need to have 12 kids... Most of the ideas still apply to any number of kids.

[nathan0259]

Great read! This stuff is not impossible. Consistency is the key. My 2 year old knows he must pick up and put away toys when he is done, he helps clean up after himself and we read a book every night.

[Aloha_Shooter]

Some of it I find unrealistic. How did their kids find the time to take AP courses, play a sport, be in a club, volunteer in the community, and restore a Mustang? That doesn't add up.

I don't know why it doesn't add up. I took 3 AP courses (faculty wanted me to take a fourth but I drew the line), was on the school rifle team, computer and other clubs, Scouts, acolyte at church. I didn't restore a Mustang but I probably had time to do so if my father had dumped an opportunity and support in my lap like that. It's the part-time work for spending money that killed you -- I had dropped my paper route before I got use of the family car so no longer had that chewing through my time (or supplementing my bank account).

[Skip]

I don't know why it doesn't add up. I took 3 AP courses (faculty wanted me to take a fourth but I drew the line), was on the school rifle team, computer and other clubs, Scouts, acolyte at church. I didn't restore a Mustang but I probably had time to do so if my father had dumped an opportunity and support in my lap like that. It's the part-time work for spending money that killed you -- I had dropped my paper route before I got use of the family car so no longer had that chewing through my time (or supplementing my bank account).

Yes, looking back though, those jobs were important. It taught me a lot and I learned. I really only had use of a family car when my Dad wasn't at work, so if I wanted to drive, I had to pay my way. Which actually helped me get to school activities and competitions around the state--we didn't always get a bus like other clubs did.

To think these days most child-adults will graduate from college at 23-25 and not know how to keep a job is appalling. How could such a person ever be modestly successful with that little experience?

I guess that explains a lot of the millennials I've encountered in the wild. (Yes, I know there are great exceptions to that) And it explains why Zerocare covers "children" until they are 26--that is the new age of maturity for most.