5 lb. Bag Of Sugarless Gummy Bears

[Ah Pook]

The reviews are classic. [LOL]

http://slightlyviral.com/beware-sugarless-gummy-bears-on-amazon-com/

[GunsRBadMMMMKay]

Oh man, one night I binged on sugar free candy..............BIG MISTAKE

[Great-Kazoo]

holy fuck, the dogs are barking i'm laughing so fukn hard.
Distinctive ching of that penny i swallowed back in 82[ROFL3]

[ray1970]

That's awesome. I seriously haven't laughed that much in months.

Thanks.

[Beer]

[colorider]

My buddy and I saw that early last week. A bag of those ass blasters should be here tomorrow. Am NOT going to try them myself as I know what happens to me when I eat that certain sugar substatute NOT something I want to experience again. There will be some fantastic reports back here about the carnage that will happen. Have a few asshats that will be getting these snacks.

[Irving]

I've eaten most of a five pound bag of Red Hot Tamales once. I paid the piper when a friend was over the next day to help me do an engine swap. I was trying to scoot the engine around the garage by pushing on it when I found out I was in trouble.

[Great-Kazoo]

Hilarious. Gotta get some of these for work. [evil grin]. It'll be the last time they ever mock me for MY gas; eh?!

Hey member JackRyan, this is your warning, DON''T EAT THE GUMMIES!


My buddy and I saw that early last week. A bag of those ass blasters should be here tomorrow. Am NOT going to try them myself as I know what happens to me when I eat that certain sugar substatute NOT something I want to experience again. There will be some fantastic reports back here about the carnage that will happen. Have a few asshats that will be getting these snacks.

You guys need to be careful. One of the people that eats them could file charges.

http://seattletimes.com/html/nationworld/2019458939_laxative18.html

http://www.wsaw.com/home/headlines/95614794.html

[wyome]

laughed so hard i had an asthma attack....lets hear it for fast acting inhalers...

[theGinsue]

You guys need to be careful. One of the people that eats them could file charges.

http://seattletimes.com/html/nationworld/2019458939_laxative18.html

http://www.wsaw.com/home/headlines/95614794.html
We've got a problem at work where people are taking food that isn't theirs, sometimes lunches out of the fridge, sometimes out of desks. I had 2 Almond Joys stolen out of my overhead cabinet.

If I leave an opened bag on my desk and don't invite anyone to partake, well....

[Monky]

Funny... I've got a bag coming for that same reason. Only I don't have anything like almond joys. Fruit, jerky, nuts... They all vanish.. And my hot sauces too... Which is why all the labels were removed from those so people don't know what they're getting in to... Already had a few tell me I'm fucking evil. Wait till they steal these...




Sent by a free-range electronic weasel, with no sense of personal space.

[theGinsue]

I'm borderline hypoglycemic. Every so often I get very weak & shaky to the point that if I don't get some sugar quickly I'll pass out. The Almond Joy's are my flavorful/enjoyable way of satisfying that need. I don't eat 'em often, but when I need 'em I want something that I'll enjoy. When I need something & my reserve is gone, it puts me in a bad situation quickly.

I've gone so far as to put my food in an airline barf bag or a biohazard waste bag I picked up @ the hospital (always seem to get a couple of ER visits each year for one thing or another). No one every seems to disturb my food when in those bags.

I drink coffee too & every Monday I bring in a tiny thermos of 1/2 & 1/2 (hate the powdered creamers) that has just enough room for me to get 1 cup of coffee each day for the week. We have a dorm frig in my office where I leave the thermos throughout the week. Too many times I've come in on Tuesday or Wednesday and found it almost empty. One of these days I'll bring in a 50/50 blend of 1/2&1/2 & Philips Milk of Magnesia. That should be some good coffee for the thieves.
Of course, if (when) I order these gummies I'll let my shop know not to partake. Anyone coming into my office from another shop when I'm not around and helping themselves to food on my desk deserves whatever they get.

[rondog]

I'm borderline hypoglycemic. Every so often I get very weak & shaky to the point that if I don't get some sugar quickly I'll pass out. The Almond Joy's are my flavorful/enjoyable way of satisfying that need. I don't eat 'em often, but when I need 'em I want something that I'll enjoy. When I need something & my reserve is gone, it puts me in a bad situation quickly.



Jeeze, I think that would justify purchasing a small pistol safe to bolt down in your overhead! If you need those handy for health reasons and the bastards keep stealing them, I'd damn sure lock 'em up! Fuck 'em if they don't like it, they're endangering your health. Even the smallest pistol safe would be enough for a stash of AJ's.

[rbeau30]

Just label your shit with "HERPES". They'll stay away from that.

[speedysst]

Q: Does this product contain wheat? (http://www.amazon.com/Does-this-product-contain-wheat/forum/Fx1O2Z45VEQT6WL/Tx37LUH7J5WOAQN/1/ref=cm_cd_dp_aar_al_a?_encoding=UTF8&asin=B000EVQWKC) A: Well, no... but I didn't major in chemistry and for all I know the stuff on the label is mostly yellow cake precursors for a "new-que-lurr" weapon. Seriously though, I don't believe there's wheat in this. It's mostly misery and broken dreams.

[Dave]

Gotta get a bag for work...

[Ah Pook]

For all those with thievin' office workers.

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Bear_Trap_7423.jpg

[rbeau30]

You would think that being in a place where people have to be cleared to a certain level and you have to take periodic Polygraphs, that this type of problem would not exist. Sadly, it does. That is why I bought these for work, at my last place of employment.

http://www.amazon.com/Locker-Brand-157281-Original-Fridge/dp/B001UFNCHM
39393

[rbeau30]

LOL, true. So all that needs to happen is keep your Almond Joys in a spinach bag or something.

[Monky]

LOL, true. So all that needs to happen is keep your Almond Joys in a spinach bag or something.

What if we happen to like spinach? WHAT NOW!

[rondog]

You would think that being in a place where people have to be cleared to a certain level and you have to take periodic Polygraphs, that this type of problem would not exist. Sadly, it does. That is why I bought these for work, at my last place of employment.

http://www.amazon.com/Locker-Brand-157281-Original-Fridge/dp/B001UFNCHM
39393


That's a neat idea! Gets a message across too.

[RblDiver]

Back...what, 18 years ago or so, my sis had a problem of her junior high lockermate stealing her gum. She coated some with Ipecac...never was stolen again.

[rbeau30]

What if we happen to like spinach? WHAT NOW!

Put your food in something like this. Betcha can't guess what this is from!
39401

[hobowh]

Oh I almost fell out of my chair reading those. My employee's are all looking to see what's going on

[Great-Kazoo]

What if we happen to like spinach? WHAT NOW!

Calm down Popeye.

[buffalobo]

Laughed my ass off twice over those reviews. Once when I read it this morning and just now when I tried to read them to my wife. She had to read them herself after the second one. I couldn't keep a straight enough face to read them aloud.

I am glad my wife is allergic to sugar substitutes and we never by sugar free products. We make our own sugar free and don't use toxic chemicals.

Could be effective deterrent for food thieves at work.

[colorider]

Our first test pilot (unknowingly) is a gal who does girl on girl shows at guy's homes... Pretty much a totally annoying seahag that happens to sponge off of my neighbor who is a lonely desperate goof. No, he does not get free shows, and neither do I. She has a "performance" in vail this weekend and loves to eat snacks on the way up. This could end up being legendary.

[rondog]

Our first test pilot (unknowingly) is a gal who does girl on girl shows at guy's homes... Pretty much a totally annoying seahag that happens to sponge off of my neighbor who is a lonely desperate goof. No, he does not get free shows, and neither do I. She has a "performance" in vail this weekend and loves to eat snacks on the way up. This could end up being legendary.

Oh my.....

[brutal]

someone's butthole sneezed.

hard to vampire sneeze that one.

gafaw.

[wctriumph]

Hahahahahahahahaha, that was funny.

Thanks.

[ZERO THEORY]

We've got a problem at work where people are taking food that isn't theirs, sometimes lunches out of the fridge, sometimes out of desks.

Sounds like the kind of job I'd get fired from. Employers typically don't take too kindly to employees threatening to "beat another employee's ass".

But seriously-I make my lunches the night before. If I take the time to cook myself an actual meal and someone steals it...we're gonna have some problems.

[rbeau30]

Sounds like the kind of job I'd get fired from. Employers typically don't take too kindly to employees threatening to "beat another employee's ass".

But seriously-I make my lunches the night before. If I take the time to cook myself an actual meal and someone steals it...we're gonna have some problems.


+1

Plus, stealing is stealing. If you made bad choices in life and cannot afford food, why should I have to pay for that?

[cfortune]

Our first test pilot (unknowingly) is a gal who does girl on girl shows at guy's homes... Pretty much a totally annoying seahag that happens to sponge off of my neighbor who is a lonely desperate goof. No, he does not get free shows, and neither do I. She has a "performance" in vail this weekend and loves to eat snacks on the way up. This could end up being legendary.

LOL! Can I tag along?

[Irving]

Sounds like the kind of job I'd get fired from. Employers typically don't take too kindly to employees threatening to "beat another employee's ass".

But seriously-I make my lunches the night before. If I take the time to cook myself an actual meal and someone steals it...we're gonna have some problems.

I haven't used an employer provided refrigerator for several years now. All my food sits at my desk, no matter what it is. I've gotten sick exactly zero times from eating food that has been sitting out all day.

[hurley842002]

I haven't used an employer provided refrigerator for several years now. All my food sits at my desk, no matter what it is. I've gotten sick exactly zero times from eating food that has been sitting out all day.

Yeah I leave my lunches unrefrigerated quite often, never had any issues.

[blacklabel]

I haven't used an employer provided refrigerator for several years now. All my food sits at my desk, no matter what it is. I've gotten sick exactly zero times from eating food that has been sitting out all day.

Same thing here.


Our first test pilot (unknowingly) is a gal who does girl on girl shows at guy's homes... Pretty much a totally annoying seahag that happens to sponge off of my neighbor who is a lonely desperate goof. No, he does not get free shows, and neither do I. She has a "performance" in vail this weekend and loves to eat snacks on the way up. This could end up being legendary.

Sweet mother of god...

[Circuits]

Hmmm... wonder if I could dissolve the same-color ones and make up bottles of uber-special koolaid or drank?

[clublights]

Hmmm... wonder if I could dissolve the same-color ones and make up bottles of uber-special koolaid or drank?

Or Melt down combine with cheap vodka and make the next office party.. interesting...

[rockhound]

i had a roommate in college that used to steal food from the rest of us, used to, suffice to say we cured him of that,

[ben4372]

This made my week. Took 20 mins to read.

[osok-308]

This is great! Also a great lesson/ weapon!

[bogie]

Bwhahahaha

http://static3cdn.echalk.net/www/ud00/b/b49e0cd8aa4c447d84f1832462995b20/Personal_Images/starfish2.jpg

[DSB OUTDOORS]

I'm going to buy a bag of these for my next board meeting for my business partners!!!! [Muaha] Ohhh Happy Day's, ohh Happy Day's!!!! That's funny as hell.

[Monky]

My bag arrived Friday. I dumped it into an airtight thing right on my desk for all to see. The level was marked with scotch tape. Let's see if anyone snacked over the weekend tomorrow


Sent by a free-range electronic weasel, with no sense of personal space.

[muddywings]

I haven't made it completely through this yet cause I'm crying so hard right now:

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/0131d2a3ef/satan-s-diarrhea-hate-bears

[ChunkyMonkey]

I haven't made it completely through this yet cause I'm crying so hard right now:

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/0131d2a3ef/satan-s-diarrhea-hate-bears

LMAO...

[XC700116]

Why is everyone at the airport looking at me like I should have a straight jacket???

The best one said something to the effect of "the perfect gift for your favorite congressman"