Punkface
01-29-2014, 08:13
Warning: this is a long read but if you have a short attention span you can always pick and choose which ones you want to read.
The firearms community is not one big community, it's a collection of communities each with its own social rules and guidelines. Some of these communities clash and some of these communities down right hate each other, all while trying to enhance their own little community within the firearms umbrella. Let's take a moment to look at a few of these communities and their members.
Frank the FUDD - Frank is a nice enough guy, but seems to think that orange and woodland cammo are complementary colors. He owns more shotguns than he knows what to do with, and is likely the only member of the firearms community that has ever used a firearm to take a life. He will throw your second amendment rights under the bus if it means he gets to keep his Remington 700 and his daddy's old over-under. Why would you need more than 5 rounds anyway?
Timmy Tactical - The single most well equipped Mall cop in the entire world, and he judges the quality of his firearms by how many attachments he can put on it. He first learned about firearms from Call of Duty and freely mixes and matches AK model numbers until he gets something that sounds more like a plane than a firearm. This fine gentleman is generally well meaning, but dangerously over enthusiastic.
Marty the Militia Member - It's said that all able bodied men are members of the militia, well this gentleman is a member of the First Unorganized Rifle Division of the People's Militia. He has just enough military training to make him dangerous to others in his squad. He will make you uncomfortable when you talk to him because he seems to take things a little too seriously. About as well equipped as your average light infantryman, all this guys equipment is a mix of milsurp and Chinese knockoffs. If any one ever starts shooting it's going to be him, and it's going to be well before any one thinks it's ok to start shooting.
Perry the Prepper - Perry is always preparing for ... something. Constantly arguing with others around him about the best survival round or rifle, this fine gentlman is the reason you have a hard time finding ammo. He buys all the ammo in the store after standing in line for 3 hours, because he likely has no job. The ammo then never gets used. He tends to disappear into the woods at little or no provocation. Closely related to Marty the Militia member and Sally the Survivalist.
Sally the Survivalist - A nice enough girl, she always smells a little off and has a wild look in her eye. She's likely buying the most rugged firearm she can find and a few pallets of ammo at a gun show. She enjoys discussing how, in the event of a nuclear war, everyone but her is going to die horribly. She's read way to many survival books, and has likely reinforced her basement. She tends to keep to herself unless trying to plan a survival situation that will never happen. During this planning she will talk to loudly and be a little erratic. She is likely to have a mental breakdown and shoot people in a year or two.
Sam the Suburban Dad - A fine gentleman, generally a middle class individual, educated, intelligent, and will likely own a pistol, a shotgun, or some other home defense weapon. He believes in the right to bare arms but every one at this gun show makes him feel so uncomfortable. Did you see that shady looking guy in the corner selling that Nazi memorabilia? This kind of fear generally leads to "compromises" when it comes to gun rights to "keep them out of the wrong hands." Closely related to Richard the Rich Guy
Richard the Rich Guy - Has more money than he knows what to do with, and all he see buys are insanely expensive trap shotguns and imported rifles from Europe. He enjoys saying the words "Perazzi, Fabbri, and Cosmi." This gentleman is likely deeply ingrained in established political groups, and would never be seen at a gun show. Wants to keep firearms away from "The wrong kinds of people." and has no idea what an AR-15 but he does know, "it sounds dangerous."
Olley Open Carry - Owns more handguns than anyone else in the world, and knows more about holsters than you ever will. We were unable to stop and talk to Olley because he kept asking if he was being detained. Will fight for his gun rights, your gun rights, and every one else's gun rights.
Milsurp Matt - Matt is an old man, and an asshole. He's got a booth at the gun show, and you better not fucking touch unless your buying. It's all milsurp here, see that rifle? Its a 1938 such and such and its killed 50 nazis at the battle of THISNEVERACTUALLYHAPPENED. He knows more about old rifles than you will ever know and he tells you that every single time you talk to him. Tends to overprice his firearms and is likely skirting some AFT ruling on selling weapons without an FFL.
Francis the FFL - He hates you, you're stupid, your questions are stupid, your choice of firearms are stupid and you dog is ugly. Seriously though, hes bottom line guy that knows his stuff, good luck getting it out of him without getting sighed or scoffed at once or twice.
RIFLE IS FINE Ray - A good actor, Ray can fake a Russian accent with the best of them. He is only dangerous if he catches you with a modified Russian weapon, at which point he is going to start yelling at you. Unfortunately Ray gets random errections when the words "Tula" or "all matching serials" are said. He wants to be a good communist, but likes his weapons to much.
Navy Seal Nick - It needs to be clear that this gentleman is not actually a Navy Seal, but he did stay at a Holiday Inn Express the night before his Super Tactical Training of TacticsTM. His nice expensive Tactical vest is always a little to tight around the chest and stomach, and its not because hes just too fit to quit. This is what happens when a Timmy Tactical and a Marty the Militia Member fall in love and have a kid.
Common Sense Stanley - Owns a few guns. Pistols, shotguns, rifles, even a bow. Owns them for the fun of it. He goes leisure shooting occasionally, When Perry the Prepper hasn't bought all the ammo in the tri-county area. Knows where he stands on gun control, but doesn't share his opinion, because it wouldn't matter. Has no intention of ever buying a machine gun or cannon because he wouldn't know what to do with it. But believes others should be allowed, if they prove they can safely possess it.
Concealed Carry Carl - Usually the first person to spit out the term "shot placement." Has multiple guns, and alters his attire to the specific gun he carries. He has a summer gun which is a smaller caliber that he can conceal while wearing shorts, in the winter, beefs it up to a larger caliber to penetrate winter clothing, as well as a Sunday gun that is most likely a 1911. Constantly complains about gun free zones, and is talks about .40 like god himself created it.
Veteran Vick - not to be confused with Navy Seal Nick. - A combat veteran who has been there, done that and ripped up many a brown T-shirt for gun cleaning rags. CLP is one of his favorite scents and one of the things he misses the most about the military is all the free ammo. He is very knowledgeable about most military style firearms both past and present and they comprise the bulk of his collection and wish list. He is extensively trained in small arms combat and tactics. He doesn't brag about his experience, but will instead quietly and calmly interject his thoughts or opinion into the conversation.
Max Speed -submitted by MarkCO - is the best shooter on the planet. He constantly practices telling himself how great he is, interspersed with some sponsor sniveling. He will be the first to tell you your Glock sucks and .45s are too slow. Does not know what a Kreighoff is, but sent them a sponsor letter anyway. Anyone can see his front sight lift since he shoots 95 PF ammo, but always seems to make major at the Chrono. He has 2 identical 2011, and 52 magazines, polished so bright you can use them as a mirror to shave. He has never won a major match, but he has 3215 plaques on his wall, and 4 photos with ex-wives. If he had just been good when he was young, he could have been world champion.
Allen the ATF informant - Submitted by lowbeyond - He totally 110% supports the 2nd amendment. But he will rat you out to the cops/feds because your rifle barrel is 15.9 inches without paying the tax because ya know you are giving the "rest of us" a bad name, and its a big boy game - gotta follow the rules - law is the law *snikker*
Benchrest Bob- Submitted by nisils14 - Bob for the most part is a quiet guy in person, and spends most of his time dialing his loads to hundred thousandths of a grain. Bob might have more money sunk into a scope than he does into his own rifle. Can come off a bit of an elitist prick, if your rifle doesn't end with the word custom, he'll probably tell you that you're better off slinging rocks through a lead pipe. The pull weight on his rifle is so low that looking at it wrong might set it off, but not to worry the damn thing is practically anchored to the bench. His typical advice is "buy once cry once." He likes to post his dime groups that he shot @ 50yds to brag on message forums and gets unreasonably angry when you ask him about his flyers. If he's not posting sweet groups, then he's name dropping semi-famous gunsmiths about 500 times a day.
The firearms community is not one big community, it's a collection of communities each with its own social rules and guidelines. Some of these communities clash and some of these communities down right hate each other, all while trying to enhance their own little community within the firearms umbrella. Let's take a moment to look at a few of these communities and their members.
Frank the FUDD - Frank is a nice enough guy, but seems to think that orange and woodland cammo are complementary colors. He owns more shotguns than he knows what to do with, and is likely the only member of the firearms community that has ever used a firearm to take a life. He will throw your second amendment rights under the bus if it means he gets to keep his Remington 700 and his daddy's old over-under. Why would you need more than 5 rounds anyway?
Timmy Tactical - The single most well equipped Mall cop in the entire world, and he judges the quality of his firearms by how many attachments he can put on it. He first learned about firearms from Call of Duty and freely mixes and matches AK model numbers until he gets something that sounds more like a plane than a firearm. This fine gentleman is generally well meaning, but dangerously over enthusiastic.
Marty the Militia Member - It's said that all able bodied men are members of the militia, well this gentleman is a member of the First Unorganized Rifle Division of the People's Militia. He has just enough military training to make him dangerous to others in his squad. He will make you uncomfortable when you talk to him because he seems to take things a little too seriously. About as well equipped as your average light infantryman, all this guys equipment is a mix of milsurp and Chinese knockoffs. If any one ever starts shooting it's going to be him, and it's going to be well before any one thinks it's ok to start shooting.
Perry the Prepper - Perry is always preparing for ... something. Constantly arguing with others around him about the best survival round or rifle, this fine gentlman is the reason you have a hard time finding ammo. He buys all the ammo in the store after standing in line for 3 hours, because he likely has no job. The ammo then never gets used. He tends to disappear into the woods at little or no provocation. Closely related to Marty the Militia member and Sally the Survivalist.
Sally the Survivalist - A nice enough girl, she always smells a little off and has a wild look in her eye. She's likely buying the most rugged firearm she can find and a few pallets of ammo at a gun show. She enjoys discussing how, in the event of a nuclear war, everyone but her is going to die horribly. She's read way to many survival books, and has likely reinforced her basement. She tends to keep to herself unless trying to plan a survival situation that will never happen. During this planning she will talk to loudly and be a little erratic. She is likely to have a mental breakdown and shoot people in a year or two.
Sam the Suburban Dad - A fine gentleman, generally a middle class individual, educated, intelligent, and will likely own a pistol, a shotgun, or some other home defense weapon. He believes in the right to bare arms but every one at this gun show makes him feel so uncomfortable. Did you see that shady looking guy in the corner selling that Nazi memorabilia? This kind of fear generally leads to "compromises" when it comes to gun rights to "keep them out of the wrong hands." Closely related to Richard the Rich Guy
Richard the Rich Guy - Has more money than he knows what to do with, and all he see buys are insanely expensive trap shotguns and imported rifles from Europe. He enjoys saying the words "Perazzi, Fabbri, and Cosmi." This gentleman is likely deeply ingrained in established political groups, and would never be seen at a gun show. Wants to keep firearms away from "The wrong kinds of people." and has no idea what an AR-15 but he does know, "it sounds dangerous."
Olley Open Carry - Owns more handguns than anyone else in the world, and knows more about holsters than you ever will. We were unable to stop and talk to Olley because he kept asking if he was being detained. Will fight for his gun rights, your gun rights, and every one else's gun rights.
Milsurp Matt - Matt is an old man, and an asshole. He's got a booth at the gun show, and you better not fucking touch unless your buying. It's all milsurp here, see that rifle? Its a 1938 such and such and its killed 50 nazis at the battle of THISNEVERACTUALLYHAPPENED. He knows more about old rifles than you will ever know and he tells you that every single time you talk to him. Tends to overprice his firearms and is likely skirting some AFT ruling on selling weapons without an FFL.
Francis the FFL - He hates you, you're stupid, your questions are stupid, your choice of firearms are stupid and you dog is ugly. Seriously though, hes bottom line guy that knows his stuff, good luck getting it out of him without getting sighed or scoffed at once or twice.
RIFLE IS FINE Ray - A good actor, Ray can fake a Russian accent with the best of them. He is only dangerous if he catches you with a modified Russian weapon, at which point he is going to start yelling at you. Unfortunately Ray gets random errections when the words "Tula" or "all matching serials" are said. He wants to be a good communist, but likes his weapons to much.
Navy Seal Nick - It needs to be clear that this gentleman is not actually a Navy Seal, but he did stay at a Holiday Inn Express the night before his Super Tactical Training of TacticsTM. His nice expensive Tactical vest is always a little to tight around the chest and stomach, and its not because hes just too fit to quit. This is what happens when a Timmy Tactical and a Marty the Militia Member fall in love and have a kid.
Common Sense Stanley - Owns a few guns. Pistols, shotguns, rifles, even a bow. Owns them for the fun of it. He goes leisure shooting occasionally, When Perry the Prepper hasn't bought all the ammo in the tri-county area. Knows where he stands on gun control, but doesn't share his opinion, because it wouldn't matter. Has no intention of ever buying a machine gun or cannon because he wouldn't know what to do with it. But believes others should be allowed, if they prove they can safely possess it.
Concealed Carry Carl - Usually the first person to spit out the term "shot placement." Has multiple guns, and alters his attire to the specific gun he carries. He has a summer gun which is a smaller caliber that he can conceal while wearing shorts, in the winter, beefs it up to a larger caliber to penetrate winter clothing, as well as a Sunday gun that is most likely a 1911. Constantly complains about gun free zones, and is talks about .40 like god himself created it.
Veteran Vick - not to be confused with Navy Seal Nick. - A combat veteran who has been there, done that and ripped up many a brown T-shirt for gun cleaning rags. CLP is one of his favorite scents and one of the things he misses the most about the military is all the free ammo. He is very knowledgeable about most military style firearms both past and present and they comprise the bulk of his collection and wish list. He is extensively trained in small arms combat and tactics. He doesn't brag about his experience, but will instead quietly and calmly interject his thoughts or opinion into the conversation.
Max Speed -submitted by MarkCO - is the best shooter on the planet. He constantly practices telling himself how great he is, interspersed with some sponsor sniveling. He will be the first to tell you your Glock sucks and .45s are too slow. Does not know what a Kreighoff is, but sent them a sponsor letter anyway. Anyone can see his front sight lift since he shoots 95 PF ammo, but always seems to make major at the Chrono. He has 2 identical 2011, and 52 magazines, polished so bright you can use them as a mirror to shave. He has never won a major match, but he has 3215 plaques on his wall, and 4 photos with ex-wives. If he had just been good when he was young, he could have been world champion.
Allen the ATF informant - Submitted by lowbeyond - He totally 110% supports the 2nd amendment. But he will rat you out to the cops/feds because your rifle barrel is 15.9 inches without paying the tax because ya know you are giving the "rest of us" a bad name, and its a big boy game - gotta follow the rules - law is the law *snikker*
Benchrest Bob- Submitted by nisils14 - Bob for the most part is a quiet guy in person, and spends most of his time dialing his loads to hundred thousandths of a grain. Bob might have more money sunk into a scope than he does into his own rifle. Can come off a bit of an elitist prick, if your rifle doesn't end with the word custom, he'll probably tell you that you're better off slinging rocks through a lead pipe. The pull weight on his rifle is so low that looking at it wrong might set it off, but not to worry the damn thing is practically anchored to the bench. His typical advice is "buy once cry once." He likes to post his dime groups that he shot @ 50yds to brag on message forums and gets unreasonably angry when you ask him about his flyers. If he's not posting sweet groups, then he's name dropping semi-famous gunsmiths about 500 times a day.