Best piece of advice ever given?

[02ducky]

Whats the best piece of advise you have ever received?

[MrPrena]

This is the best financial advice I've ever received.

Seven years of great abundance are coming throughout the land of Egypt,but seven years of famine will follow them. Then all the abundance in Egypt will be forgotten, and the famine will ravage the land.The abundance in the land will not be remembered, because the famine that follows it will be so severe. (Gen 41:29-31 NIV)

savings and loan , dotcum bubble, mbs retardness. 1987, 2000, 2007, possibly 2015?

[cofi]

Don't eat egg salad before you get on the bus

[ray1970]

Received? Not sure. Given... here are my two favorite pieces of advice to give out.

1. Don't look directly into the sun.

2. Your asshole is an exit, not an entrance.

[Ah Pook]

Don't sweat the small stuff.

[Great-Kazoo]

Whats the best piece of advise you have ever received?

Know the difference between advise and advice
[B]
[MOD: Fixed it for him]

[vossman]

Thanks Kazoo, I was gonna say "Spell Check"

[TRnCO]

"if a deer runs in-front of your vehicle, don't go in the ditch to try to avoid hitting it. The telephone pole/tree/culvert in the ditch will hurt you worse than hitting the deer." I've since hit 3 deer and 1 antelope, and have yet to go in the ditch.

[BPTactical]

Don't let your mouth write a check your ass can't cash.

Yesterday is your history, today is your responsibility, tomorrow is your challenge.



Best advice I ever gave?
No honey, you don't blow.........

[earplug]

Keep moving

[02ducky]

Know the difference between advise and advice [Beer]

and here comes the grammar Nazi's. [shithitsfan]

[brutal]

"Don't do it!"

But they wrote it on the bottom of my rented shoes.

Cackles from the assembly as we knelt at the altar before later saying, "I do."

[BlasterBob]

Seriously, get regular PROSTATE exams. You young guys may feel that " It'll never happen to me" but PC does occur - I know. It is a common thought that if a guy lives long enough, he will eventually have PC. Sorry to be taking a leak on this parade but a word to the wise is usually sufficient. [blaster]

OK, now back to the funny stuff............

[Great-Kazoo]

[QUOTE=Great-Kazoo;1612897]Know the difference between advise and advice [Beer]

and here comes the grammar Nazi's. [shithitsfan]

https://sp3.yimg.com/ib/th?id=HN.608016173521570547&pid=15.1

[tmleadr03]

My Plt CO would give this out every liberty brief.

"Marines I know how you are. You like to fight, fuck and drink. Not Necessarily in that order. If you fuck, wear a condom. If you drink dont drive. If you get in a fight you had better leave a trail of bodies behind you. And if I have to come bail your ass out of jail, you had better have one hell of a story including every single one of those things."

[DSB OUTDOORS]

Don't fry bacon naked! [panic]

[SideShow Bob]

Don't fry bacon naked! [panic]

OMG ! The mental image from that....... What has once been seen can never be unseen........

[BPTactical]

NEVER EVER loan Ray your Cheetos

[asmo]

For the more technical among us:

Never test the optical level of the fiber with your remaining good eye.

[DSB OUTDOORS]

OMG ! The mental image from that....... What has once been seen can never be unseen........
[LOL] [Beer]

[hghclsswhitetrsh]

NEVER EVER loan Ray your Cheetos

The key is flamin hot Cheetos. Ever since the summer of '12 he stays away from them.

[ray1970]

NEVER EVER loan Ray your Cheetos

Hey... I gave them back when I was done. [Coffee]


The key is flamin hot Cheetos. Ever since the summer of '12 he stays away from them.

The burn! The burn! Won't be doing that again. [LOL]

[HoneyBadger]

"Don't ever take financial advice from a friend"

"Keep your business and personal relationships separate"

"Understanding grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit."

[SuperiorDG]

44327

[Double00]

"Never put your ass over your head" Best advice my dad ever gave me.

[sroz]

NEVER EVER loan Ray your Cheetos

How do you LOAN Cheetos? Once eaten, there are only 2 ways to get them back. Neither of which is pleasant.

[Beer]

[Hotchef181818]

Trust is earned

Never, ever, take anything for granted.

Measure twice, cut once.

Something I came up with at work the other day for a new guy having a rough time. " when you get shit on, you can either get buried in it or use it as fertilizer to grow." kinda cheesy, but he got the point

[ray1970]

How do you LOAN Cheetos? Once eaten, there are only 2 ways to get them back. Neither of which is pleasant.

[Beer]

Oh, I don't eat them. I just kind of stick my hand in the bag and fondle them.

[WETWRKS]

There is no such thing as a fair fight...fight to win because the other guy certainly is. If you cannot win...make it as brutal and bloody as possible so they never ever want to fight you again.

[sroz]

Oh, I don't eat them. I just kind of stick my hand in the bag and fondle them.

Oh...that's totally OK. Just spreads the cheese powder out more evenly. So, when you returned them they actually had more flavor.

[Ah Pook]

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

[sniper7]

Just because you can doesn't mean you should.



A funny one from Jack Nicholson for when you get old: never trust a fart.

[TEAMRICO]

Improvise, Adapt and Overcome.
Gunny Highway- Heartbreak Ridge



You don't ever give up boy, not when it's for real.
Sailor- Uncommon Valor

[Walker2970]

1986 A wise mas said F*@K wall street Gold and Silver are the best retirement plan. Been following that ever since.

[drift_g35]

My grandpa once told me: "no matter what you are doing, never half ass the job. It doesn't matter if you are mopping a floor, or running for President."

[Big E3]

As a young man my dad told me what my grandpa, a semi-pro boxer, had told him as a youngster. "I don't want to hear you ever started a fight and I never want to hear you lost one".

[BlasterBob]

A funny one from Jack Nicholson for when you get old: never trust a fart.

This is one of the best pieces of advice in this entire thread. Some day if you guys are fortunate enough to reach really old age, you youngsters will see what old age and the risk of farting is all about. [blaster]

[DSB OUTDOORS]

This is one of the best pieces of advice in this entire thread. Some day if you guys are fortunate enough to reach really old age, you youngsters will see what old age and the risk of farting is all about. [blaster]
Hell, I'm 43 and I don't trust em now. Damn Santiago!! But Umm Umm Good!

“Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.” Mark Twain

[wctriumph]

People are no damn good.

[Tinelement]

"Educations don't come cheap"

And ya know what?..... they don't!

[tmleadr03]

"Educations don't come cheap"

And ya know what?..... they don't!

And you pay one way or another.

I look at jobs that didn't go right as educational experiences.

[hawk1]

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweating things...

if she smells like cologne... Leaver her alone...

kill 'em with kindness....

(From grandma) He who farts in church sits in his own pew...

(From grandpa) when your wife and mother are arguing.... Remember... You don't sleep with your mom.

(From mom... As a little boy) pulling on it won't make it longer...

(From dad... coming home early from work when I was in high school, with a new girlfriend) be quieter... OR lock the garage door...

(From dad) at least remember to EJECT and HIDE the tape before you leave...

(Best man's wedding toast... In front of both families) here's a toast to HONOR..... to gettin' HONOR... to stayin' HONOR..... And if you can't cum in her... To cummin' HONOR.... TO HONOR

[SouthPaw]

From my Father:

"If you can't tie one good knot; tie a bunch of bad ones."

[davsel]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOECSQECaZI

[Dave]

My grandfather on my mom's side used to say "be sure you never throw the first punch, but make damn sure you throw the last punch."

[mindfold]

Don't shit where you sleep.

[Hummer]

"Here's a box of condoms, son, wear them like your life depends on them."

[centrarchidae]

Never play cards with a man named "Doc. "

Never eat at a restaurant named "Mom's."

I don't remember the third thing he told me, and that worries me a little.

Sent from my XT1080 using Tapatalk

[TheBelly]

A funny one from Jack Nicholson for when you get old: never trust a fart.

Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it's probably crap.

[Bailey Guns]

Try to be the person you're dog thinks you are.

[wctriumph]

Aim small, shoot small.

Yeah, I know, its from a movie but its still good advice.

[TheGrey]

Don't forget to breathe.

Never lend money to friends or family. If you can afford it, give it as a gift and if they pay it back, be pleasantly surprised.

Given:
Women tolerate unwritten rules when it suits them to do so. Don't pick a fight and expect the outcome to be clean.

[BigBear]

"No one owes you a thing."

and

"You are free to choose. But you are not free from the consequences of your choice."

[TFOGGER]

https://www.compliancesigns.com/cgi-compliancesigns/signgen2.pl?$400x400$&$frame_opac=99&$logo_pos=-1070,539&$logo_image=is%7BComplianceSigns/SYM_11?scl=1%7D&$font=Arial&$R=0&$G=0&$B=0&$fs1=940&$phrase1=Do%20not%20look%20at%20laser%20with%20rem aining%20eye.&$fs2=0&$phrase2=&$bg_img=ComplianceSigns/OWE_NoSym&$logo_size=1366,1366&$textbox_pos=797,539&$textbox_size=2030,1366

[newracer]

In college I worked in a liquor store, a really cool older guy (that I found out later was a retired FBI agent) always took time to talk to me about my classes and how I was doing in general. He would always end every conversation with "It's all means to an end."

[ruthabagah]

My grand father was a WW2 hero and a wise man. His best advise after the first time I drove him somewhere with my brand new drivers license and I flipped the bird to a guy who didn't yield at a crossroad has served me well over the years: "Son: there is so many dead people who thought they had the right of way we should make it a standard epitaph... You want to pick yours now?"

[HoneyBadger]

"No one owes you a thing."

and

"You are free to choose. But you are not free from the consequences of your choice."


I like both of these a lot and repeat them frequently. [Beer]

[Drucker]

don't let them get behind you.

[thvigil11]

"Either cut a hole in your stomach or pull your head out" - My Dad when I was 16

[rondog]

Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time.

[kawiracer14]

A doctor I once worked with told me the two things you need to learn to say when you're in a relationship: "Yes, Dear" and "I'm sorry, Dear" and if you say the first one enough you won't have to say the second one very often.

[cstone]

Best advice from a movie: RAMIS: (As Russell Ziskey) I've always been kind of a pacifist. When I was a kid, my father told me, never hit anyone in anger unless you're absolutely sure you can get away with it. I don't know what kind of soldier I'm going to make, but I want you guys to know that if we ever get into real heavy combat, I'll be right behind you guys every step of the way.

Second best movie advice: WAYNE: (As J.B. Books) I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them.

My two personal favorites: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

and

Be your own man.

[TFOGGER]

Never whittle towards yourself or pee against the wind...

[theGinsue]

When you have a chance to eat, eat.
When you have a chance to sleep, sleep.
When you have a chance to go to the bathroom, go to the bathroom.
You do these things when you can bcause you never know when your next opportunity will come.

[Skully]

Don't pee on the electric fence, it tingles while you tinkle.

[buffalobo]

Grandpa - If you can grow crops and hunt your own dinner, you will never go hungry.

[JohnnyEgo]

When I was 18 and knew everything in life, I was standing in the smoke break complaining bitterly to an old Boatswain's Mate about how everyone should just recognize my awesomeness and promote me to E5. He listened for about 30 seconds, cut me off, and explained that there were only three things I needed to know to be successful in the US Navy:

1. Life is not fair.
2. I don't feel your pain.
3. Do it yourself.

And that's worked out pretty well for me.

[BPTactical]

1. Life is not fair.
2. I don't feel your pain.
3. Do it yourself.

And that's worked out pretty well for me.


Sage wisedom.
I like it

[sniper7]

Grandpa - If you can grow crops and hunt your own dinner, you will never go hungry.


a farmer should try try to sow his crop in as many fields as he can, but a woman's field should only be plowed by one man.

[MarkCO]

Integrity is who you are when no-one else will know except you and God.

All women are psychotic, all men are jerks, therefore chose a woman whose endearments outweighs her psychosis, and who will put up with you.