View Full Version : Woman Impaled While Texting & Driving
Not a whole lot of sympathy...butt ouch.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BwffFhhIEAEXuBa.jpg:large
http://blogs.westword.com/latestword/2014/09/christina_jahnz_impaled_butt_texting_driving.php
Christina Jahnz Becomes Internet-Famous After Impaling Butt During Texting-Aided Crash
These days, a lot of people spend all their time figuring out how they can become Internet-famous. But Elizabeth's Christina Jahnz managed to do so in seconds -- by revealing that her butt had been impaled by a pole when she crashed her car while texting.
There's been a lot of exposure for Jahnz over the last few hours, in more ways than one. Details, photos, a video and even a meme below.
According to Jahnz, who spoke with 9News (http://www.9news.com/story/news/local/2014/08/31/texting-while-driving-pole-impales-buttocks-thighs/14917831/), she dropped off her daughter's saxophone at Elizabeth Middle School this past Wednesday morning, then sent a voice text to a friend as she drove away at around twenty miles per hour. But when looking at the phone to make sure the message had translated properly, she crashed her truck, with a guardrail pole bursting into the passenger compartment -- and through her buttocks.
Firefighters had to saw off the pole on either side of her in order to extract her from the vehicle, Jahnz revealed. She was then rushed to nearby Parker Adventist Hospital, where the pole was removed and she was sewn back together. After forty stitches, she tells the station, she lost count.
A heavily pixilated photo of Jahnz with the pole still in her body is included in 9News coverage, but the image obtained by 7News (http://www.thedenverchannel.com/thenow/colorado-driver-is-impaled-on-guardrail-admits-to-texting-while-driving) is larger and clearer. Here's a larger look at the cropped version seen above.
HoneyBadger
09-02-2014, 18:32
What a pain in the ass...
Talk about laying some pipe!
Texting while driving gets you the shaft.
TEAMRICO
09-02-2014, 19:29
Her husband will never ever be able to top that!!!
No man will........
tmleadr03
09-02-2014, 20:29
She clearly does not like it in the butt.
SuperiorDG
09-02-2014, 20:31
Had to be a big ass to get that pipe through it.
HoneyBadger
09-02-2014, 20:37
Had to be a big ass to get that pipe through it.
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
[LOL]
hghclsswhitetrsh
09-02-2014, 21:41
That'll buff out.
theGinsue
09-02-2014, 21:48
Hmmm. Rumor is this woman walks around like she's got a stick up her @$$.
Seriously though, what's it going to take to get people to stop texting while driving.
HoneyBadger
09-02-2014, 21:58
Seriously though, what's it going to take to get people to stop texting while driving.
A pole up their A$$..
GilpinGuy
09-02-2014, 22:09
Had to be a big ass to get that pipe through it.
I'd impale that. [LOL]
A pole up their A$$..
I doubt that will be enough.
Betcha a buck she gets in another wreck while texting.
If looking down to check a text is all it takes for her to end up like that, she was probably half way to wrecking already. I don't believe the text-to-speech part.
That's gonna leave a mark.
I'm gonna have to ask all my E-ville friends if they know her and can ask her WTF WHERE YOU THINKING?
KestrelBike
09-03-2014, 05:49
She better watch out for tetanass.
If looking down to check a text is all it takes for her to end up like that, she was probably half way to wrecking already. I don't believe the text-to-speech part.
Same thought here. Unless she was reading over a novel she just spoke into that phone
This takes pole dancing to a new level.
cfortune
09-03-2014, 09:37
She must have gotten the pole position
If looking down to check a text is all it takes for her to end up like that, she was probably half way to wrecking already. I don't believe the text-to-speech part.
This.
People are SO quick to blame text messaging for everything because it saves them from having to take blame. There were shitty drivers long before text messaging and there will be shitty drivers long after. Now, people are looking at their cell phone instead of looking through their CD case for which CD to listen to next. If you're dangerous behind the wheel it doesn't matter the distraction. Just another excuse to force more control over us in the name of safety.
Ride a motorcycle. You'll really see how many terrible drivers are out there.
Ride a motorcycle. You'll really see how many terrible drivers are out there.
Exactly. I rode bikes for years and it wasn't just those on their cell phone that almost killed me. There are just shitty drivers in the world.
KestrelBike
09-03-2014, 10:33
She must have gotten the pole position
Maybe so, but that guardrail got the holeshot.
Ride a motorcycle. You'll really see how many terrible drivers are out there.
Exactly. I rode bikes for years and it wasn't just those on their cell phone that almost killed me. There are just shitty drivers in the world.
Or pull a big ass RV trailer, or drive OTR.
Or just pay attention.
I drove in Germany for three years when I was young and impressionable so this crazy shit here drives me insane.
BREATHER
09-03-2014, 11:34
Looks like it just missed her brain.....
Did she relinquish her US citizenship?
Now Pole..ish???
GilpinGuy
09-03-2014, 12:02
[facepalm]So bad that I love it.
Did she relinquish her US citizenship?
Now Pole..ish???
Did she relinquish her US citizenship?
Now Pole..ish???
I give that an LOL
The comments here are priceless!! I have nothing witty to add, fail on my part.
SideShow Bob
09-03-2014, 16:14
The comets here are priceless!! I have nothing witty to add, fail on my part.
If you are seeing comets, you should pull over and call a cab.......
If you are seeing comets, you should pull over and call a cab.......
Or check again to make sure some hippy didn't slip you some LSD...
Looks like this lady is really falling behind. Too bad now she'll be the butt of everyone's jokes.
sabot_round
09-03-2014, 17:43
Who will be next to tap that ass?? It'll be like throwing a hotdog down the hallway!![Flower]
SuperiorDG
09-03-2014, 17:46
Wonder if it took a core sample
The Japanese have gone too far this time...
Wonder if it took a core sample
AKA butt sausage.
sabot_round
09-03-2014, 18:01
Wonder if it took a core sample
It probably took a sample of her last meal!!
Who will be next to tap that ass?? It'll be like throwing a hotdog down the hallway!![Flower]
Was laughing so hard from this, my wife thought she was going to have to call an ambulance.
On a side note is anyone else skepticle of the alleged 20mph?
Badger
That's enough ass-play for a life time.
I'm trying to figure out the geometry...if she was driving, and was ass-poled in the left cheek, how did the pole enter the vehicle from the passenger side?
That's enough ass-play for a life time.
I'm trying to figure out the geometry...if she was driving, and was ass-poled in the left cheek, how did the pole enter the vehicle from the passenger side?
Perhaps she was not belted in?
The "extraction" and 20MPH don't jive.
Lucky for her that thing didn't have a big fist on it.
buffalobo
09-03-2014, 22:37
Who will be next to tap that ass?? It'll be like throwing a hotdog down the hallway!![Flower]
That some funny shit right there.
I just drove back from Ganbly and didn't see any comets that I could comment on. [Dunno]
Surprised no one had used this one...
Twatsicle.
Lex_Luthor
09-04-2014, 07:21
She's just butt hurt that she couldn't finish her text.
The photos of the car were in one of the tv stories, don't remember which station but the pole clearly entered through the driver's side headlight. Oh and no way in hell she was doing only 20mph. Pole pierces through the headlight/engine compartment/firewall and then her at 20? Seems fishy.
The photos of the car were in one of the tv stories, don't remember which station but the pole clearly entered through the driver's side headlight. Oh and no way in hell she was doing only 20mph. Pole pierces through the headlight/engine compartment/firewall and then her at 20? Seems fishy.
But the facts directly conflict with trying to scare the whole nation into getting on the 'Don't text & drive' bandwagon since they're banking on the fact that dumb dumbs will believe something this bad can happen at 20mph when you text because texting and driving warps the very laws of physics!
Bailey Guns
09-04-2014, 10:19
It doesn't have to warp the laws of physics to be stupid and dangerous.
Anything except for having both hands on the wheel and or a shifter if it's a stick should be completely illegal in a vehicle. If you have a rocki in your shoe, pullover remove it; if you need to change the radio station, pullover remove it; if you need to turn on the air conditioning because it got warm, pullover remove it. If you drive into a pole and it goes through your ass, turnover remove it
They should make it illegal to vote while driving.
It doesn't have to warp the laws of physics to be stupid and dangerous.
You don't ever eat, drink, change the radio station, change a setting, change a CD, set your wipers, have a conversation, put on your sunglasses, take off your sunglasses, put the sun visor down, check the time, light a cig, put out a cig, etc. while you drive? Face it, we ALL do things that take attention away from driving to some degree every time we drive. How much you allow that distraction to affect your driving is up to the individual and no amount of laws are going to change that. Period. I don't need to be talked to like some moron about driver safety because a bunch of stupid teenagers don't know how dangerous driving is because their parents don't care enough to teach them and then they blame the text message for the accident the idiot kid had. These kids grown up and make up our society and what do ya know? We have a society full of piss poor drivers that can't accept responsibility for their own actions.... must be text messaging's fault! lol
I've noticed a disturbing pattern here guys. When this woman crashed, she was breathing.
I've also noticed that every DUI crash has just one commonality - they were breathing when they crashed.
People who run red lights.... breathing when they crashed.
I've come to the verified, scientific conclusion based on empirical evidence that breathing causes crashes.
PLEASE for the sake of the chil'ren;
We need to make breathing while driving illegal.
I'd be willing to bet that in every case you look at, the drivers have extremely high levels of DiHydrogen Monoxide in their blood as well. This stuff kills hundreds of thousands of people every year. I'd even bet that MOST of the members here consume it on a regular basis.
http://www.dhmo.org/
..... dumb dumbs will believe something this bad can happen at 20mph when you text because texting and driving warps the very laws of physics!
The average person doesn't know anything about physics, so most things appear to involve voodoo or magic. A message like, "Text and drive, you'll get a pole up your ass. And get a pic of your ass on the net." Will quite possibly motivate people to TnD.
TheBelly
09-04-2014, 20:14
Lucky for ME that thing didn't have a big fist on it.
FIFY.
FIFY.
You're still pissed about your poopy gun?
TheBelly
09-04-2014, 22:01
You're still pissed about your poopy gun?
I wasn't ever upset about it. It just looked like a good opportunity to start a quote-war. Harmless fun.
then the phone rang.
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