View Full Version : Tonight....
Is going to suck....
Girlfriend wants me to attend some dinner party for her company. I slept like shit and also have to work tonight at midnight.
Anyone wanna take my place at the party? Professional attire is required. Beef tenderloin is the entrée.
Hell, if you and the woman hit it off you can even keep her. I won't mind.
Anyone....?
Please?
http://tapatalk.imageshack.com/v2/14/09/20/a49027983a9ad65d25df61fdde5baac1.jpg
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Sorry, it's my 1 year wedding anniversary today and I doubt my wife wants me going anywhere with another woman. Got a reservation at Summit for a nice steak anyway. [Dinner]
I understand.... That sounds wonderful. A nice dinner and night out with someone you love.... I wonder what that's like....
Oh well.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
hghclsswhitetrsh
09-20-2014, 16:11
Pics of gf might help this move...
blacklabel
09-20-2014, 16:14
I understand.... That sounds wonderful. A nice dinner and night out with someone you love.... I wonder what that's like....
Oh well.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Is she paying your bills? No? Just walk away.
RCCrawler
09-20-2014, 16:22
Hell, if you and the woman hit it off you can even keep her. I won't mind.
If her and I hit it off, will you give her a couple of your tickets so she can take me to the Avs game?[Coffee]
Pics of gf might help this move...
It won't. Trust me.
Is she paying your bills? No? Just walk away.
I make double what she does...
Hmmm free dinner
Define the word "free."
If we're speaking money, yes, it's free.
If we're talking mental and physical anguish. It's not free at all....
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
patrick0685
09-20-2014, 16:30
i hope your not in sells...your not making this sound exciting
If her and I hit it off, will you give her a couple of your tickets so she can take me to the Avs game?[Coffee]
Lemme put it this way....
She's not even going to the home opener....
i hope your not in sells...your not making this sound exciting
Definitely not in sales....
You've met me before. It was briefly. At the gate down there at LAS.
You know what I do.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Pics won't help... Believe this. She's also a flaming liberal
Sent by a free-range electronic weasel, with no sense of personal space.
man this is making board games and movie nite with the wife n girls look better and better
patrick0685
09-20-2014, 16:42
Lemme put it this way....
She's not even going to the home opener....
Definitely not in sales....
You've met me before. It was briefly. At the gate down there at LAS.
You know what I do.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
ahhhhh...same one?
Pics won't help... Believe this. She's also a flaming liberal
Sent by a free-range electronic weasel, with no sense of personal space.
Liberal bon fire....
man this is making board games and movie nite with the wife n girls look better and better
Again, sounds nice....
ahhhhh...same one?
No. The one I was with is actually a decent person. Her and I are still friends.
We just had different long term views on things.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Great-Kazoo
09-20-2014, 16:50
What time can she pick me up? I have short ribs about to come off the smoker, she'll have to work around my schedule. I think the wife might like to meet her, also. make sure i'm in good hands. Should i bring a gun, or is she set?
Uh...why is she your "girlfriend"?
What time can she pick me up? I have short ribs about to come off the smoker, she'll have to work around my schedule. I think the wife might like to meet her, also. make sure i'm in good hands. Should i bring a gun, or is she set?
I couldn't do that to you, Jim. I like you too much.
Uh...why is she your "girlfriend"?
Before Monky answers for me.....
Because I'm too much of a pussy to break up with her.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Not really feeling the sympathy here. [Dunno]
Not really feeling the sympathy here. [Dunno]
Not looking for any.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Sounds miserable. I'd quit being a pansy and cut her loose.
Sounds miserable. I'd quit being a pansy and cut her loose.
Every time she drags me to some shit like this I get closer to doing just that.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
jerrymrc
09-20-2014, 17:56
man this is making board games and movie nite with the wife n girls look better and better
Ain't that the truth. [Flower]
Guess who's late to the party!!!!!!
Not me! My ass is here. I was here 10 minutes early.
This is how I feel right now....
http://tapatalk.imageshack.com/v2/14/09/20/1ac887d69f6d8a80a5e95071607642e5.jpg
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
I gotta find a Walmart for after the party.... I'm gonna shower at work but forgot my tacticool under roos.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
sabot_round
09-20-2014, 18:12
Guess who's late to the party!!!!!!
Not me! My ass is here. I was here 10 minutes early.
This is how I feel right now....
http://tapatalk.imageshack.com/v2/14/09/20/1ac887d69f6d8a80a5e95071607642e5.jpg
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
A great opportunity to dump her has presented itself!![Flower]
Guess who's late to the party!!!!!!
Not me! My ass is here. I was here 10 minutes early.
This is how I feel right now....
http://tapatalk.imageshack.com/v2/14/09/20/1ac887d69f6d8a80a5e95071607642e5.jpg
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
I'm surprised you don't drink....
A great opportunity to dump her has presented itself!![Flower]
Ha. Right....
I'm surprised you don't drink....
It's an open bar tonight....... But I work tonight too. I couldn't drink even if I wanted to....
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
I suspect that getting relationship advice, on this forum, is like getting dance lessons from a carp.
[facepalm]
let us know how the beef tenderloin turns out...
Holy fuck. This dude here is crazy....
The Oklahoma City bombing was a government doing. 9/11 was government. Chem trails.....
Jesus. This is terrifying.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Oh, thanks for the reminder, gotta do my annual chem trail fluid application training.
[off-yourself] Plan B?
Getting there!
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Oh, thanks for the reminder, gotta do my annual chem trail fluid application training.
I wasn't sure what to do. I mean, how do you react to being blamed for Oklahoma City, 9/11, global warming, and for creating the clouds?
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
This dude across the room looks like he got his shirt at Baby Gap..... He's busting put of it.... and not in a good way....
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
2 more hours....... 2 more hours.......
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
2 more hours....... 2 more hours.......
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Do they at least have free alcohol? If they do and you don't drink maybe I can swing by and liven up the conversation. :)
Holy fuck. This dude here is crazy....
The Oklahoma City bombing was a government doing. 9/11 was government. Chem trails.....
Jesus. This is terrifying.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Sounds completely reasonable compared to my last conversation with my sister. According to her ISIS isn't a threat at all compared to the people in our government and Hollywood (A listers mainly) who have babies and children abducted so they can feed on them and drink their blood. Ohhh, and she is very concerned about chem trails.
I wasn't sure what to do. I mean, how do you react to being blamed for Oklahoma City, 9/11, global warming, and for creating the clouds?
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Tell them they are right, you were in charge of it all and if they screw with you, they are next!
Do they at least have free alcohol? If they do and you don't drink maybe I can swing by and liven up the conversation. :)
Yes. Free alcohol. But I don't drink.
Sounds completely reasonable compared to my last conversation with my sister. According to her ISIS isn't a threat at all compared to the people in our government and Hollywood (A listers mainly) who have babies and children abducted so they can feed on them and drink their blood. Ohhh, and she is very concerned about chem trails.
This dude wasn't done. I had to walk away. He was literally blaming me for everything.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Its amazing what a guy will do/go through for a little pink spot. Good luck sucker, you sound miserable.
Great-Kazoo
09-20-2014, 19:12
let us know how the beef tenderloin turns out...
I thought he has a girlfriend.
Great-Kazoo
09-20-2014, 19:15
I wasn't sure what to do. I mean, how do you react to being blamed for Oklahoma City, 9/11, global warming, and for creating the clouds?
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Stand up yell FUCK YOU, then piss on him to show dominance. You really should have come by and taken me. They would still be huddled in the corner by the bar, or fire exit.
SCOTT BIAO'S THE ANTI CHRIST, SAY IT YOU WHORE OH OH OHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Stand up yell FUCK YOU, then piss on him to show dominance. You really should have come by and taken me. They would still be huddled in the corner by the bar, or fire exit.
SCOTT BIAO'S THE ANTI CHRIST, SAY IT YOU WHORE OH OH OHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I'd discreetly piss on him while pretending to listen and when he notices, yell 'fuck you'. If you yell first you're going to have to chase him around with your dick out.
hghclsswhitetrsh
09-20-2014, 19:19
Stand up yell FUCK YOU, then piss on him to show dominance. You really should have come by and taken me. They would still be huddled in the corner by the bar, or fire exit.
SCOTT BIAO'S THE ANTI CHRIST, SAY IT YOU WHORE OH OH OHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Yup. Your heart pumps baby shit if you don't do it.
I just read this.... The entire dinner table was discussing a funeral. I laughed, out loud, in the middle of the story of how the guy died.....
I might not need to be the one doing the breaking up.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
I just read this.... The entire dinner table was discussing a funeral. I laughed, out loud, in the middle of the story of how the guy died.....
I might not need to be the one doing the breaking up.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
LOL, I'm guessing she's not a member here?
Damn technically I was offered 2 members women here today [Coffee]
Damn technically I was offered 2 members women here today [Coffee]
I think I've seen that video on the web.
LOL, I'm guessing she's not a member here?
She doesn't like guns. And voted for Obama. Twice.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
She doesn't like guns. And voted for Obama. Twice.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Damn dude you that hard up..........nvm [Beer]
She doesn't like guns. And voted for Obama. Twice.
Well... I see this as a viable option:
http://i1094.photobucket.com/albums/i445/TangoDownPro/SharkBreakUp_zps0e2177f6.gif (http://s1094.photobucket.com/user/TangoDownPro/media/SharkBreakUp_zps0e2177f6.gif.html)
jerrymrc
09-20-2014, 20:05
She doesn't like guns. And voted for Obama. Twice.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
And you wonder about us.[LOL]
And you wonder about us.[LOL]
Just you, specifically.
When you gonna let me buy you that beer?
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
She doesn't like guns. And voted for Obama. Twice.
Well now you've lost just about any chance of someone showing up to take her off your hands tonight.
Well now you've lost just about any chance of someone showing up to take her off your hands tonight.
There was no chance any of you would take her anyway. Hell, I only took her because she was the only option at the time and she put out.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Firehaus
09-20-2014, 20:29
I had a mentor early on that had a ton of women on the side. His advice was when he was ready to dump one he would take the Hershey highway. If she liked it he'd keep her around a little longer and if she didn't it took care of its self. Wise old man...
Sent from my iPhone
I had a mentor early on that had a ton of women on the side. His advice was when he was ready to dump one he would take the Hershey highway. If she liked it he'd keep her around a little longer and if she didn't it took care of its self. Wise old man...
Sent from my iPhone
I've been warned against that numerous times..... Sadly, I like my man parts too much to try it.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Firehaus
09-20-2014, 20:44
Live dangerously, get her drunk and play like it was an accident. Flaming liberal chicks love it, they just pretend to say they don't.
Sent from my iPhone
Ahhhh hahahhahaha. It's over early! Freedom!!!!!! Freedom!!!!!!!
Now.... off to work I go...
By the way, the beef was overdone, the veggies lacked seasoning, and the mashed potatoes were lumpy and way under done.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
sabot_round
09-20-2014, 21:20
Ahhhh hahahhahaha. It's over early! Freedom!!!!!! Freedom!!!!!!!
Now.... off to work I go...
By the way, the beef was overdone, the veggies lacked seasoning, and the mashed potatoes were lumpy and way under done.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
So what the fuck does that mean??
Did u break up with her, or what??
boomerhc9
09-20-2014, 21:20
Ahhhh hahahhahaha. It's over early! Freedom!!!!!! Freedom!!!!!!!
Now.... off to work I go...
By the way, the beef was overdone, the veggies lacked seasoning, and the mashed potatoes were lumpy and way under done.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
that's great, but how was the sodomy? finish the story!
I think I've seen that video on the web.
[ROFL1]
http://pic100.picturetrail.com/VOL594/13497691/24383796/410063542.jpg
Great-Kazoo
09-20-2014, 21:34
Live dangerously, get her drunk and play like it was an accident. Flaming liberal chicks love it, they just pretend to say they don't.
Sent from my iPhone
Screw that. he should have said You know darlin, looking at you in this light has me so hard, I want to toss you on the table, stick my tongue up you ass ,start swinging you around the dance floor. Any song you'd like me to have the dj play?
Screw that. he should have said You know darlin, looking at you in this light has me so hard, I want to toss you on the table, stick my tongue up you ass ,start swinging you around the dance floor. Any song you'd like me to have the dj play?
http://i1094.photobucket.com/albums/i445/TangoDownPro/ThatEscalatedQuickly_zps31014e18.jpg (http://s1094.photobucket.com/user/TangoDownPro/media/ThatEscalatedQuickly_zps31014e18.jpg.html)
buffalobo
09-20-2014, 21:58
You bought it, you pay for it. Way too much trouble for a little squeeze. You knew better going in. Man up and ask for a new title.
The forum will be more than happy to help.
How about "Candyass Shleprock".
Firehaus
09-20-2014, 22:12
Jim wins. Even beat my conversation tonight with my little brother about hiring lesbian ginger midget strippers for his bachelor party.
We determined that if it was near Halloween we could even have them put overalls on like chucky.
Sent from my iPhone
Great-Kazoo
09-20-2014, 22:25
http://i1094.photobucket.com/albums/i445/TangoDownPro/ThatEscalatedQuickly_zps31014e18.jpg (http://s1094.photobucket.com/user/TangoDownPro/media/ThatEscalatedQuickly_zps31014e18.jpg.html)
H
Jim wins. Even beat my conversation tonight with my little brother about hiring lesbian ginger midget strippers for his bachelor party.
We determined that if it was near Halloween we could even have them put overalls on like chucky.
Sent from my iPhone
Guess I'm just old school. None of this I'm having a problem with my girl friend. Back then it was sorry it ain't working. OR lime, shovel and a long night ahead of you. Hypothetically speaking.
that's great, but how was the sodomy? finish the story!
If I had a dollar for every time I've had to answer that question. :)
Screw that. he should have said You know darlin, looking at you in this light has me so hard, I want to toss you on the table, stick my tongue up you ass ,start swinging you around the dance floor. Any song you'd like me to have the dj play?
Dammit Jim! Now I got this song stuck in my head.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYSSD0SVhN0
Didn't break up with her yet. But the dinner thing is over.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Great-Kazoo
09-20-2014, 22:37
Didn't break up with her yet. But the dinner thing is over.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Little sodomy to loosen up the after dinner affair, her not you. While doing so ask her how she liked dinner. The spin around and go great here's leftovers.
Yeah I'm a heartless bastard. BUT if Mrs. Fredrica doesn't have the ovaries someone has to push.
blacklabel
09-20-2014, 22:53
Does this guy remind anyone else of JM?
Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk
Does this guy remind anyone else of JM?
Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk
Forgot about him
Does this guy remind anyone else of JM?
Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk
Who's that?
Forgot about him
Liar.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Does this guy remind anyone else of JM?
Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck......
Chad4000
09-21-2014, 08:07
bahahaahahaha LOL
hghclsswhitetrsh
09-21-2014, 08:10
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck......
Them the duck is clearly into dude ducks.
Bailey Guns
09-21-2014, 08:42
Damn technically I was offered 2 members women here today [Coffee]
"...offered 2 members..." and "offered 2 member's"... HUGE difference!
[Coffee]
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck......
...then it reminds you of JM? That's odd.
Do any of these look like JM to you?
http://imgc.allpostersimages.com/images/P-473-488-90/75/7576/H9VD300Z/posters/akova-nine-rorschach-test.jpg
3rd one from the left [Coffee]
I couldn't do that to you, Jim. I like you too much.
Before Monky answers for me.....
Because I'm too much of a pussy to break up with her.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
I got rid of mine for less... She was way hotter... Way... Way..
I'm just going to leave this here... Do with it what you will.
http://markmanson.net/fuck-yes/
Sent by a free-range electronic weasel, with no sense of personal space.
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck......
I am NOT so fat that I waddle like a duck....
...then it reminds you of JM? That's odd.
Do any of these look like JM to you?
http://imgc.allpostersimages.com/images/P-473-488-90/75/7576/H9VD300Z/posters/akova-nine-rorschach-test.jpg
The one on the left!
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
I got rid of mine for less... She was way hotter... Way... Way..
I'm just going to leave this here... Do with it what you will.
http://markmanson.net/fuck-yes/
Sent by a free-range electronic weasel, with no sense of personal space.
You've given that to me before.....
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Yep... Take it from experience. It's good advice. I'm also leaving this here...
http://youtu.be/uN_sSXKbzHk
Sent by a free-range electronic weasel, with no sense of personal space.
jerrymrc
09-21-2014, 09:08
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck......
Ya just gave ducks a bad name. [Flower][beatdeadhorse]
Ya just gave ducks a bad name. [Flower][beatdeadhorse]
And you wonder why I'm so angry.....
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Maybe you should dump this chick, get a dog for love and companionship and then just get a hooker when you need tension release. The Westword even has ads for them.
...then it reminds you of JM? That's odd.
Do any of these look like JM to you?
http://imgc.allpostersimages.com/images/P-473-488-90/75/7576/H9VD300Z/posters/akova-nine-rorschach-test.jpg
They all look like vagina's to me.
Great-Kazoo
09-21-2014, 09:50
well fuk a duck
Maybe you should dump this chick, get a dog for love and companionship and then just get a hooker when you need tension release. The Westword even has ads for them.
I don't like dogs.... Cats are better.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Great-Kazoo
09-21-2014, 09:57
I don't like dogs.... Cats are better.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
for chrissakes get some pussy, that doesn't stress you out.
you need some range time, that's the only way you'll shoot your load [LOL]
HoneyBadger
09-21-2014, 10:07
Holy fuck. This dude here is crazy....
The Oklahoma City bombing was a government doing. 9/11 was government. Chem trails.....
Jesus. This is terrifying.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
What company does she work for??
Great-Kazoo
09-21-2014, 10:15
What company does she work for??
Stuckup Vaginas LLC When in doubt, we hold out.
A subsidiary of C.U.N.T, Worldwide and tight inside.
HoneyBadger
09-21-2014, 10:23
Stuckup Vaginas LLC When in doubt, we hold out.
A subsidiary of C.U.N.T, Worldwide and tight inside.
[ROFL1]
I don't like dogs.... Cats are better.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Now ^^^^THAT^^^^ explains a lot. [Flower]
ZERO THEORY
09-21-2014, 10:57
She doesn't like guns. And voted for Obama. Twice.
http://www.miscupload.com/upload5/558286852126491068018029.jpg
They all look like vagina's to me.
Youve been with some messed up women!
I don't like dogs.... Cats are better.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Thats part of your problem, well maybe even most of it.
SCOTT BIAO'S THE ANTI CHRIST, SAY IT YOU WHORE OH OH OHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Ahhhhh....Sam Kinison...may he rest in peace.
Great-Kazoo
09-21-2014, 13:40
Ahhhhh....Sam Kinison...may he rest in peace.
Thanks for being one of a few who actually know that reference. SCOTT BAIO ???? Who's That????
ANYWAY did Mr. Fred get a sticky wicket from Ethel ,or did he finally taken matters in to his own hands ? THAT'S the gist of this whole or should i say HOLE, OP.
sabot_round
09-21-2014, 19:09
She doesn't like guns. And voted for Obama. Twice.
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
And you're still with her?!?!?!? WTF??
And you're still with her?!?!?!? WTF??
Self esteem issues, He doesn't like dog's ether.
sabot_round
09-21-2014, 19:45
Self esteem issues, He doesn't like dog's ether.
Pussies with pussies...[ROFL3]
http://tapatalk.imageshack.com/v2/14/09/22/4855b2726bf876fdc8c38c264469c0e8.jpg
http://tapatalk.imageshack.com/v2/14/09/22/6886dcbaa3b6ec8cf86e923518154356.jpg
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
So...she drove you up there in her Prius without any dogs?
KestrelBike
09-22-2014, 23:47
Them the duck is clearly into dude ducks.
http://i57.tinypic.com/33diluc.gif
Jeffrey Lebowski
09-23-2014, 08:13
Good thread.
So...she drove you up there in her Prius without any dogs?
You can ignore those.... I needed a place to put them so I could save them at work.
Good thread.
I try to make good ones..
Posted Via Glade Plug In.
Someone take note of where those pics were taken just in case someone finds liberal remains up there....
Great-Kazoo
09-23-2014, 09:28
Someone take note of where those pics were taken just in case someone finds liberal remains up there....
That's it i'm out. Nothing like a POI before the fact
. UMM yeah he took nice pictures, we never actually saw his girlfriend. No sir never though it strange, why?
Pics of gf might help this move...
Yeah, it would suck to show up and your GF ends up being a dude.
Yeah, it would suck to show up and your GF ends up being a dude.
Oh snap!
HoneyBadger
09-23-2014, 11:33
This thread is getting better with age.
Great-Kazoo
09-23-2014, 11:48
Yeah, it would suck to show up and your GF ends up being a dude.
If one is only looking at the top of their head ? ? ? Damn darlin, that bald spot is really noticeable.
If one is only looking at the top of their head ? ? ? Damn darlin, that bald spot is really noticeable.
that's not a bald spot if it winks.
spqrzilla
09-23-2014, 19:00
Speaking of dumping girlfriends .... Got a message that there is a large package on my porch. Mr.Fred wasn't in my neighborhood was he?
Great-Kazoo
09-23-2014, 19:02
Speaking of dumping girlfriends .... Got a message that there is a large package on my porch. Mr.Fred wasn't in my neighborhood was he?
OH No , looks like Mr. Fred has retained council. I'm out.
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