Eldery mother wants to get a gun...... Advice needed

[Chad4000]

I have an interesting one for you guys that I need some advice on.

My mother is 67 years old, and a drinker. I mean every day drinker. Not to get to personal on your guys lol. A little back story here:

My dad fought brain cancer for about 2 years, (passed away 2 years ago next month) and while he was sick, he specifically asked me to take his guns out of his house because he was worried about my mom going "Annie Oakley" at some random noise in the night. (His words). Well, with a nod, him and I both knew why he wanted me to do that and quietly I removed his service pistol (he was a navy pilot) and his .22 rifle which I currently have in my possession.

Anyway, I was over there the other night and she had gotten the NRA 40 gun giveaway flyers in the mail. (We're all members etc). All of a sudden she is ready to get a gun. And she means within days here. I started talking seriously with her about it as far as what to get and bla bla bla.. Basically I didnt see the indicators that I wanted to, to be comfortable with her getting one. She didnt want to take my advice on anything, she just wanted to "get something like" the gun she had with a previous marriage which she says was a "tiny revolver, 22 thingy, that held 6 and one in the chamber". yyyeah. And she says that she wants my dads gun back at her house (I told her that I borrowed them for a range day a long time ago lol).

She broke her right wrist a year or so ago, and she says she has no strength in it at all etc. She wouldn't be able to rack a semi. she does have two dogs that would go ape shit if somebody ever came in the house.
So I'm conflicted. she wont train. she says she will, but I dont see her going to the range once a week, learning the pistol etc. There are days when she has my 4 year old at her house. she drinks waaay to much. everyday. I basically dont think she is a good candidate for gun ownership.

On the other hand, she is a grown ass woman. and would feel safer with a gun.

Maybe some of you guys have been through this? be it your mother, friend, cousin something...

[Dave_L]

Daily drinking, no training and children. That does not sound like a good combination. No offense to your mother.

[vossman]

Youch, that's a tough one. The dogs sound like it's her best best for protection.

[RblDiver]

Sounds questionable to me. Have you brought these concerns up with her?

[Hound]

Tazer? Shotgun with rock salt/PE shells? Revolver with firing pin filed/removed? One of those fake CCW's there was a thread on here not to long ago??? More rum and coke so she forgets the whole thing?

Tough call. Maybe just sit her down and talk about what your Dad really said?

[HoneyBadger]

This is indeed a very difficult situation. Are you concerned about her hurting herself?

Regardless, I would really try to steer her toward a taser and some layered security: Window bars, locked doors, let her watch you reinforce the door jam and explain how it will keep bad guys out, "panic button" or having 911 on speed dial, build her a "safe room" with a reinforced door that she can hide in, get her an alarm system, get her involved in a neighborhood watch type of program, etc.

[Chad4000]

Sounds questionable to me. Have you brought these concerns up with her?

My mom has lived a rough life. one husband committed suicide, my biological father (not my dad that I referenced earlier) was a real piece of work, beat her up, stalked her la la la... she carries a lot of baggage that she unfortunately deals with by drinking. granted I am no psychologist. basically she fancies herself as "I can take care of myself and fuck everybody else". If I had a real talk moment with her, it honestly would probably do damage to our relationship, and probably push her further into a decision like this gun. At this point, I still at least have some sort of control on how it all goes down.

[Chad4000]

Tazer? Shotgun with rock salt/PE shells? Revolver with firing pin filed/removed? One of those fake CCW's there was a thread on here not to long ago??? More rum and coke so she forgets the whole thing?

Tough call. Maybe just sit her down and talk about what your Dad really said?


I honestly did think about removing a firing pin..... she thinks shes good to go but is realistically not a danger to anyone etc.

then I think about that once in a generation moment when she needs one, and I'm the douche bag that disabled her protection...

[TheGrey]

Have you had a heart-to-heart with her? Is she an alcoholic, or does she have a glass of wine with dinner? (That's a prying question, and you don't have to answer it. I think it's important to consider.)

This certainly is a tough one. I'm sure there are guys that are everyday drinkers that have these issues as well. Not a good combination, no matter who it is.
Did something happen to set this off in her head? Does she have concerns. or is she fixating on having a gun? Does she have anything as far as a security system (I'm talking cameras, or a panic button in case she falls) and how often do you check on her?

Without knowing the answers, I'd say that you need to lay down some rules. If she wants a gun, that's fine., providing:

If she gets a gun, she needs a gun safe that same day.
She trains weekly, with you.
But the days your child is at her house are the days that her gun goes with YOU. Booze, a child and a gun in the same house do not mix.
If she wants you to go with her to pick out a gun, that day she does not drink. Not a drop.

My parents are in this age group. There comes a time that we, the children, begin watching out for them. It's okay. You can do this. Just talk with her and let her know your concerns, and see what her concerns are.

---

Of course, I took my time with my post, and you answered a lot of questions. :) A taser may be better, like HB said.

[Chad4000]

This is indeed a very difficult situation. Are you concerned about her hurting herself?

.

not worried about that actually... shes a tough broad. "got no time to die" is one of her favorite things to say. usually when I am bringing up the fact that she needs to go to a doctor or something lol

[Chad4000]

Have you had a heart-to-heart with her? Is she an alcoholic, or does she have a glass of wine with dinner? (That's a prying question, and you don't have to answer it. I think it's important to consider.)

This certainly is a tough one. I'm sure there are guys that are everyday drinkers that have these issues as well. Not a good combination, no matter who it is.
Did something happen to set this off in her head? Does she have concerns. or is she fixating on having a gun? Does she have anything as far as a security system (I'm talking cameras, or a panic button in case she falls) and how often do you check on her?

Without knowing the answers, I'd say that you need to lay down some rules. If she wants a gun, that's fine., providing:

If she gets a gun, she needs a gun safe that same day.
She trains weekly, with you.
But the days your child is at her house are the days that her gun goes with YOU. Booze, a child and a gun in the same house do not mix.
If she wants you to go with her to pick out a gun, that day she does not drink. Not a drop.

My parents are in this age group. There comes a time that we, the children, begin watching out for them. It's okay. You can do this. Just talk with her and let her know your concerns, and see what her concerns are.

great response. thank you for taking the time to write all that...

shes an alcoholic. period. she doesnt admit to it. and as far as Im concerned, shes old, shes allowed, and it'll kill her someday. Ive seen her crack beers at 10am. she could put down a case by herself easy. (and thanks for going easy on her guys/gals... )

I am over there probably every 3 days or so. and usually one full day on the weekends. she is fixated on a gun specifically. she was saying the other day "how stupid it is to be an NRA member and not even have a gun!". my whole family is acutely aware of protection and whatnot, news etc. there wasn't some specific concern like a break in or something that has pushed this. no security system.

[RblDiver]

Well, as harsh as it sounds, one of the most important questions which you somewhat addressed: Would you feel safe leaving your child alone with her, knowing that she both drinks and has a gun? If the answer is no, then there's your answer. If she insists, then even though it may cause damage to your relationship, I think the best course of action would be to have a frank discussion with her. You would tell her that her drinking in and of itself is a concern, but combining it with a young child and a loaded firearm, you wouldn't feel comfortable leaving your child there with her. If she insists on getting a loaded and fire-capable gun, then you should insist on not taking your kid to stay with Grandma. Suggest alternatives like those discussed above, taser (though again with a young child that may be a risk I would think), bars, fake gun, etc. But in the end, your kid comes before your mom.

[TheGrey]

great response. thank you for taking the time to write all that...

shes an alcoholic. period. she doesnt admit to it. and as far as Im concerned, shes old, shes allowed, and it'll kill her someday. Ive seen her crack beers at 10am. she could put down a case by herself easy. (and thanks for going easy on her guys/gals... )

I am over there probably every 3 days or so. and usually one full day on the weekends. she is fixated on a gun specifically. she was saying the other day "how stupid it is to be an NRA member and not even have a gun!". my whole family is acutely aware of protection and whatnot, news etc. there wasn't some specific concern like a break in or something that has pushed this. no security system.

Okay. Thanks for the additional info.

What I would suggest is to first take her to a range that rents guns ("lots of different guns, Mom. Let's see what fits in your hands and feels comfortable.") Tell her that she can't drink before you go to the range. I'm hoping she will see how badly she needs to practice. If she's fixated on guns, at least you can help draw things out and make her consider safety issues. Ask her point blank questions: What will she do if she hears someone breaking in? What will she do if she comes into a room to check on our 4-year old and he's got the box of ammo and is playing with the bullets? Where will she keep the gun? What other security measures does she plan on taking? Etc. Don't pull punches when it comes to your child's safety. Ask those questions.

[hobowh]

I feel for you my dad was the same way till he went to jail for vehicular manslaughter. Best bet is a non Carry piece, as bad decisions could be made and laws broken just carrying it under the influence. Maybe start her out with 1 of the kimber pepper spray guns or a big 12 as mentioned above.

[Chad4000]

Well, as harsh as it sounds, one of the most important questions which you somewhat addressed: Would you feel safe leaving your child alone with her, knowing that she both drinks and has a gun? If the answer is no, then there's your answer. If she insists, then even though it may cause damage to your relationship, I think the best course of action would be to have a frank discussion with her. You would tell her that her drinking in and of itself is a concern, but combining it with a young child and a loaded firearm, you wouldn't feel comfortable leaving your child there with her. If she insists on getting a loaded and fire-capable gun, then you should insist on not taking your kid to stay with Grandma. Suggest alternatives like those discussed above, taser (though again with a young child that may be a risk I would think), bars, fake gun, etc. But in the end, your kid comes before your mom.

absolutely... And that day will come. Hopefully very soon where I dont need to use "free" daycare and I can have my boy somewhere else. I want my mom in his life, but like you guys have pointed out, just the drinking alone is a concern when watching kids. (she does take it "easy" when she has him but still).

[Chad4000]

Okay. Thanks for the additional info.

What I would suggest is to first take her to a range that rents guns ("lots of different guns, Mom. Let's see what fits in your hands and feels comfortable.") Tell her that she can't drink before you go to the range. I'm hoping she will see how badly she needs to practice. If she's fixated on guns, at least you can help draw things out and make her consider safety issues. Ask her point blank questions: What will she do if she hears someone breaking in? What will she do if she comes into a room to check on our 4-year old and he's got the box of ammo and is playing with the bullets? Where will she keep the gun? What other security measures does she plan on taking? Etc. Don't pull punches when it comes to your child's safety. Ask those questions.


I was thinking that same thing too... She hasn't shot a gun since at least before I was born. Maybe her just shooting a gun will wake her up to the entire thing a bit more....

[StagLefty]

There is absolutely a safety issue here with the alcohol/gun and a child involved. I speak as a senior ex-alcoholic and I believe she needs a heart to heart talk with. One of my favorite quotes comes from a Training Counselor I had the privilege of being a student of " when it comes to safety,you don't have the right to remain silent". GL

[Chad4000]

There is absolutely a safety issue here with the alcohol/gun and a child involved. I speak as a senior ex-alcoholic and I believe she needs a heart to heart talk with. One of my favorite quotes comes from a Training Counselor I had the privilege of being a student of " when it comes to safety,you don't have the right to remain silent". GL

Thank you for the post.. taken to heart.

[JohnnyEgo]

Should the Jehovah's Witnesses or the UPS Guy be worried?
I.E. between her self-medication, the typical effects of aging, and any psychological scarring, how comfortable are you that she would be able to truly identify a threat and react in a proportional manner? Wouldn't want to risk popping a teenager who wandered into her yard to retrieve a Frisbee or something similar.

At the end of the day, if she is of sufficient mind and body to legally possess a firearm, there is not much you can do to stop her. If she is a danger to herself and others, you could consider trying to have her declared legally incompetent, but that is an action that can have far reaching effects. So my advice would be to assess the situation as others have suggested, and take the course of action that poses the least potential for risk to your mother and those around her. If you feel she should not own a gun, you may not be able to talk her out of it, but that doesn't mean you have to enable her choices.

When my grandfather turned 90, signs of dementia started showing up. At that point, we convinced him to dispose of some of his guns as 'gifts' to the family to avoid the tax implications, even though the entirety of his estate is well within the estate tax deduction. We allowed him to keep his service pistol up to the point where he required the services of a long term care facility for the dementia, but we took away all of the bullets. None of these were fun conversations, but they were necessary for the safety of himself, his in-home service providers, and the public at large.

[Chad4000]

Should the Jehovah's Witnesses or the UPS Guy be worried?
I.E. between her self-medication, the typical effects of aging, and any psychological scarring, how comfortable are you that she would be able to truly identify a threat and react in a proportional manner? Wouldn't want to risk popping a teenager who wandered into her yard to retrieve a Frisbee or something similar.

At the end of the day, if she is of sufficient mind and body to legally possess a firearm, there is not much you can do to stop her. If she is a danger to herself and others, you could consider trying to have her declared legally incompetent, but that is an action that can have far reaching effects. So my advice would be to assess the situation as others have suggested, and take the course of action that poses the least potential for risk to your mother and those around her. If you feel she should not own a gun, you may not be able to talk her out of it, but that doesn't mean you have to enable her choices.

When my grandfather turned 90, signs of dementia started showing up. At that point, we convinced him to dispose of some of his guns as 'gifts' to the family to avoid the tax implications, even though the entirety of his estate is well within the estate tax deduction. We allowed him to keep his service pistol up to the point where he required the services of a long term care facility for the dementia, but we took away all of the bullets. None of these were fun conversations, but they were necessary for the safety of himself, his in-home service providers, and the public at large.

Yeah we kind of got lucky with my dad.. As he was getting worse, he decided himself not to drive anymore. he decided that he couldn't be in "control" of the guns in the house anymore (hence him asking me to take them).. he was very aware that he was slowing down and it made it easy on the rest of us to help him transition into that part of life.

I think my mom will be kicking and screaming lol

[Aloha_Shooter]

1. It's her right to defend herself if she wants.
2. You don't have to enable her in exerting her right nor do you have to endanger your loved ones if you think she may pose a danger to them.
3. You can slow roll anything she asks you to do to help her with #1.
4. If she wants to go to the range with you, take her. Start her with a S&W Airlite .357 snubnose and see how long her desire to get a gun again lasts.

[Chad4000]

1. It's her right to defend herself if she wants.
2. You don't have to enable her in exerting her right nor do you have to endanger your loved ones if you think she may pose a danger to them.
3. You can slow roll anything she asks you to do to help her with #1.
4. If she wants to go to the range with you, take her. Start her with a S&W Airlite .357 snubnose and see how long her desire to get a gun again lasts.

lol all yes..

[HoneyBadger]

Start her with a S&W Airlite .357 snubnose and see how long her desire to get a gun again lasts.
Interesting idea. Be careful though: if she has fragile bones in her old age, a subcompact 9mm, any airlite snubnose, etc can break bones in or otherwise seriously damage a person's wrist if you're not prepared for it.

[Chad4000]

Interesting idea. Be careful though: if she has fragile bones in her old age, a subcompact 9mm, any airlite snubnose, etc can break bones in or otherwise seriously damage a person's wrist if you're not prepared for it.

She was really interested in a pf9 keltec I have.. and I told her quite honestly that gun hurts the most out of anything I have... just a super small frame. I was considering having her shoot my 1911, or HK.. bigger guns, manageable recoil, and still will make you know youre holding a gun...

(as apposed to a .22 pistol like something she wants...)

[Irving]

I completely understand your position of having a free childcare provider that otherwise would not be your first choice. There is the Internet answer to this, then there is the realistic answer. Only you know how to effectively deal with your mom. My alternative suggestion is see if you can't bring up some old hobby she used to have and try to trick her into focusing on something else. "Hey mom, remember when you used to paint all those porcelain angels for the church group?"

[Chad4000]

I completely understand your position of having a free childcare provider that otherwise would not be your first choice. There is the Internet answer to this, then there is the realistic answer. Only you know how to effectively deal with your mom. My alternative suggestion is see if you can't bring up some old hobby she used to have and try to trick her into focusing on something else. "Hey mom, remember when you used to paint all those porcelain angels for the church group?"


Not a bad idea... My first thought is just let it breath for a few days... if she is still all hot to trot, try something like this too..

[Zundfolge]

Get her one of those police trade in S&W Model 10s like this one (http://www.jgsales.com/smith-wesson-10-revolver,-38-special,-blued,-4-heavy-barrel.-vg,-used.-p-70991.html)(damn I remember when these were sub 300 just a couple years ago) and a Gun Vault (http://www.gunvault.com/minivault-gv1000s.html)(but NOT the one that works off of a fingerprint, the old style that you have to "chord" the keys to open) If she's too drunk she won't be able to open the gun vault (also it'll keep any kidlets out).


Start her with a S&W Airlite .357 snubnose and see how long her desire to get a gun again lasts.
So you figured out why I sold it to you :p
(even though I miss carrying the little guy)

[O2HeN2]

Tell her she needs to take a class first. Get her to a basic pistol instructor that'll wash her out if she exhibits any safety issues.

If she doesn't have enough interest, motivation and ability to take and pass a class, tell her she's on her own.

Tough spot to be in. This is why you need someone (the instructor) that doesn't have an emotional dog in the fight to make the call. I'd give him/her a heads up too.

O2

[Chad4000]

Tell her she needs to take a class first. Get her to a basic pistol instructor that'll wash her out if she exhibits any safety issues.

If she doesn't have enough interest, motivation and ability to take and pass a class, tell her she's on her own.

Tough spot to be in. This is why you need someone (the instructor) that doesn't have an emotional dog in the fight to make the call. I'd give him/her a heads up too.

O2

Another good idea there too...

[TFOGGER]

I'll second the Kimber pepper gun suggestion, or something else "less lethal". Firearms and alcohol are a bad combination. I guess it depends on how open to suggestion she is.

[Chad4000]

all very good ideas.. I'll see what she is thinking this weekend.. Thanks again for all the advice!

[HoneyBadger]

I agree with some of the posts here about trying her out on a "little too much gun for her".

Maybe convince her a shotgun would be the way to go, (there are probably a hundred videos on youtube about shotguns for self defense), then take her out to the range with a real light shotgun, and the heaviest recoiling loads you can find. Of course, you wouldn't be telling her they aren't the lightest loads around.

If she is dead set on a pistol, a light, heavy recoiling one like posted above would be best.

Grandma with a 3.5" rifled 12ga slug in a lightweight shotgun just seems like a terrible idea... Great way to cause real injury. I would hope that you don't want to actually hurt her.

[hurley842002]

Grandma with a 3.5" rifled 12ga slug in a lightweight shotgun just seems like a terrible idea... Great way to cause real injury. I would hope that you don't want to actually hurt her.
X2 come on people.

[jerrymrc]

I feel for you no matter the decision. I will X3 not letting her fire anything that might hurt her. Even though my dad is a Marine and still works his own business @ 81 when I took him shooting last year I put the wife's pad on his shoulder.

He scoffed but I insisted with him shooting a Garand for the first time in over 50 years. 3 days after I asked to see his shoulder and it was not pretty even with the pad after 32 rounds from the Garand, 20 from the Fal and 20 from the PSL.

I will only add about the safe. The first time she has issues opening it under the influence she will leave the gun out of it from that point on.

[Chad4000]

Grandma with a 3.5" rifled 12ga slug in a lightweight shotgun just seems like a terrible idea... Great way to cause real injury. I would hope that you don't want to actually hurt her.


yeah not going anywhere near shotguns.. my only thought was like I said earlier... maybe the 1911.. something in that real. I've got some full frame 9mm guns too that might work..

[Chad4000]

IF she actually gets really persistent with this idea, how do you guys feel about something like removing the firing pin?

[mountainjenny]

Grandma with a 3.5" rifled 12ga slug in a lightweight shotgun just seems like a terrible idea... Great way to cause real injury. I would hope that you don't want to actually hurt her.

I feel this way about some of the other light gun, heavy load suggestions. I don't think scaring her into losing interest would be the way I would approach it, and could cause injury.

No doubt this is a tough situation. I think I would try some heart to hearts and offer to be involved with the training if she insists. If she is like me, she might lose interest after awhile. I have been excited about doing many things in my life and over time the excitement fads and I move onto something else.

I am not a big fan of removing the firing pin option, for the reasons you mentioned earlier in the thread.

[Chad4000]

I am not a big fan of removing the firing pin option, for the reasons you mentioned earlier in the thread.

yeah totally.. .

I think there is a good chance that this fades..

[boomerhc9]

I feel this way about some of the other light gun, heavy load suggestions. I don't think scaring her into losing interest would be the way I would approach it, and could cause injury.

No doubt this is a tough situation. I think I would try some heart to hearts and offer to be involved with the training if she insists. If she is like me, she might lose interest after awhile. I have been excited about doing many things in my life and over time the excitement fads and I move onto something else.

I am not a big fan of removing the firing pin option, for the reasons you mentioned earlier in the thread.

thanks mountainjenny, good thought.

[Big E3]

I think we have all seen stories of something going terribly wrong and we have said: "What was the family thinking giving that person a gun?". Don't set yourself up for a situation down the road where everybody is armchair quaterbacking after the fact and blaming you for a bad decision on her part. You should be able in good conscious to let her know you just can't do it unless she stops drinking and that you could never live with yourself if something terrible happened. Maybe by doing this you could get her to see the light and assist in keeping her alive and in your life longer. You seem to be conflicted over this issue, don't do something you will regret latter. You can always revisit the gun issue down the road when things have changed and the time is right.

[Irving]

Just sign her up for Tinder or Eharmony. That will give her something else to focus on.

[Chad4000]

Just sign her up for Tinder or Eharmony. That will give her something else to focus on.

AHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

lol jk.. also a decent idea..

[Aloha_Shooter]

IF she actually gets really persistent with this idea, how do you guys feel about something like removing the firing pin?

Personally, I hate it. I understand your concern about her but the last freaking thing I want to do is give someone a non-functional gun that they think they can actually use for self-defense. You're going to kick yourself if she decides to stand her ground against an invader instead of fleeing because she THINKS she has a functional weapon.

[th3w01f]

Very tough decision given the excessive drinking. My mom has an almost identical background to what you described but she stopped drinking 25 years ago when things got really bad and hasn't looked back. We're very lucky in that sense. She's also 67 and recently wanted to get a gun (she used to shoot when she was younger). I suggested she get some training and a CHP first and her and my wife went through the classes together. I got her an LCR 38 Special for Christmas and she is already setting up some training before she buys ammo. I know your situation is very different but maybe going to some training or having someone go with her might help with the decision.

I agree with not removing the firing pin, I'd be more likely to put a trigger lock on it and hide the key in her house so she has to call to get it. I'm actually kidding... well for the most part.... It would substantially lower the risk of an accident and it would be better than not having anything if someone was trying to break into the house. You'd also be able to assess her state of mind if she called for the location.

[Clint45]

That is a difficult position to be put in. Some people act recklessly when they drink, whereas some longtime drinkers are just maintaining their baseline. If she is a danger to herself and others when she drinks, then she certainly should not have access to firearms. If, however, you think it is unlikely she would misuse the firearm, you should buy a small gun safe and insist the gun be locked up whenever kids are there. For an old woman with no shooting experience and a bad wrist who insists on having a gun in the house, my only recommendation would be an old breaktop .32 Long. .32 Long has very mild recoil, and the old breaktops are inexpensive and have lighter trigger pulls than a rimfire or one of the 1980s H&R/NEF 32s. And you can load it up with powderpuff wadcutters that will significantly limit the damage she might accidentally do with it.

[KestrelBike]

Maybe the answer is that if someone can't get a gun on their own (they're legally able to, just not able to 'get it together') then you don't have an obligation to help them?

Say it's your best friend or your brother or a casual acquaintence who gets a bug about getting a gun. He's doing all the research, going to go take a safety class on his own volition because he knows it's the smart thing to do, put in extra hours at work to afford it, but just can't seem to get off the fence about whether to get a pistol/shotgun/rifle and wants your help & input and to make sure he doesn't get scalped at an unscrupulous LGS. By all means, help that person, even teach them the 4 rules before his class, because he/she is willing to listen.

Then take your co-worker Bob at work who also has a clean record, wants a gun but doesn't have nor make time to learn much about it, responds with derp-like answers to your questions regarding safety and his willingness to learn it, doesn't want to have to pay $$ to take a safety class because "well I'm not an idiot, I know who not to shoot, it's common sense", and basically just wants you to tell him the exact model gun to go out and buy that will be perfect for him. I wouldn't feel much of an obligation to help Bob out if I feel like not wanting to be anywhere near the sphere of consequences for his actions. Now assume Bob is also a good friend, or your brother-in-law, or your mother. Maybe the answer is to ignore your mom? Admittedly, this can be taken as kind of an ostrich-in-the-sand response, but hey it's another idea (that someone probably already said).

My mom also wanted to get a gun, she's also a new'ish NRA member, she doesn't have a drinking problem, but her hands are weak, and I while she's willing to listen to any safety tips I'd tell her, she hasn't taken the time to go take classes or research guns like I told her she should do if she was really serious about it. I even told her there are plenty of For-Ladies-By-Ladies classes at the range closest to her, but she never went. So, she kind of dropped the issue on her own. My dad grew up shooting, one of my sisters took a safety class and enjoys shooting (but made the decision that she doesn't need a gun), the other sister is a hopolophobe, but I'd trust any of them with a gun. My mom, not so much. Her complete lack of physical hand/arm strength is a serious issue, and I don't have much hope for her even being able to safely operate a revolver. My dad independently came to the same conclusion. She could prove me wrong and go take those classes and prove able to shoot the little .22lr rugers they use, then move up to a 9mm revolver, but she hasn't taken those steps, and I don't feel obligated to get her there if she's not willing to do the same herself.

[O2HeN2]

I got her an LCR 38 Special for Christmas...
Ouch. I enjoy shooting my .41 Magnum more than I enjoy shooting my 38 Special LCR...

I like the revolver, it's just that I consider it a VERY advanced gun to shoot due to the sharp (and that's putting it mildly) recoil.

O2

[TFOGGER]

Ouch. I enjoy shooting my .41 Magnum more than I enjoy shooting my 38 Special LCR...

I like the revolver, it's just that I consider it a VERY advanced gun to shoot due to the sharp (and that's putting it mildly) recoil.

O2

For someone recoil sensitive, there's always powder puff wadcutter loads. 148 wadcutter at ~700 fps still sucks for the bad guy, but is very controllable on the shooter's end.

[th3w01f]

For someone recoil sensitive, there's always powder puff wadcutter loads. 148 wadcutter at ~700 fps still sucks for the bad guy, but is very controllable on the shooter's end.

That's the exact plan along with trying out the Hornady Critical Defense Lite.

[Chad4000]

I highly appreciate all the responses... She did bring it up again today while I was over there. I didn't engage in the conversation like I have before. just doing a standard trigger lock and "hiding" the key isn't actually a bad idea...

[Chad4000]

so I have a bit of an update.

she had kind of a "date" the other day (I know.. it's probably worth it's own thread lol) and turns out the guy she met up with, is a 2A guy... so nows she even more hot to trot. Now I dont really have a reason to think this, but it does make me wonder. say she talks with somebody else about this, and essentially goes around me? like I said earlier, at least at this point I do have a bit of control about how it goes down, what she may or may not get etc. but she was all excited the other day saying that theyre going to go shooting etc and it makes me feel like maybe I should act one way or another sooner rather than later.

ugh lol... I know in the realm of real problems, this shouldnt be on the radar, but it does kinda worry me. thanks for all the advice again!!!!!

[Hound]

Go with your gut. If you think you can try to land half a plane wreck it will be better than if you were not there at all.

[Chad4000]

Go with your gut. If you think you can try to land half a plane wreck it will be better than if you were not there at all.

lol... well said actually.. thanks.. .

[boomerhc9]

lol... well said actually.. thanks.. .

well, now that we got that out of the way, time to finish the story.

[QUOTE=Chad4000;1831773]so I have a bit of an update.

she had kind of a "date" the other day (I know.. it's probably worth it's own thread lol) and turns out the guy she met up with, is a 2A guy.QUOTE]