good weekend with the wife

[vim]

"A Weekend to Remember": vim's ten-cent review

So we spent Valentine's Day weekend down in Colorado Springs at a marriage retreat -- a "Weekend to Remember (http://www.familylife.com/weekend)."

We've been married 32 years, and both knew that things could be better. No hate, just kinda grew apart some during the years of raising the kids and facing life's challenges and tasks: back-to back against the world, and just too many distractions. Some emotional separation that we recognized but were having trouble fighting through. It was time to start turning this around before it was too late.

Excellent weekend. I can't say I learned anything new, but I definitely heard things I had forgotten. We're on the right road again, and seeing her earnestness at working on rebuilding "us" this weekend was hugely motivating to me. I hope she can say the same thing. The investment of time and money was well worth it; we should have done this sooner.

It's a Christian-run program, so if you flinch badly at the sight of Bible verses, it's probably not for you. On the other hand, it was very practical in nature, not at all preachy, and the exercises to work through together were on the money.

[sellersm]

If this is the one from Family Life organization, a big +1! We've been to some, and have supported some of their people for many years... Marriage is so much more than "marrying whomever I 'love'". Glad to hear your story!

[SamuraiCO]

Congrats. It is those small things in life and taking our partners for granted that lead to so much sorrow. Glad you are figuring it out. 30 years for us next year.

[ray1970]

Always good to keep the relationship firing on all cylinders. Hopefully you both learned a little something.

[lex137]

Told my wife we should go to a psychologist even when times are good to keep up with the good times. Hope we can make it at least 23 years, good luck hope all is better!

[wctriumph]

Women want to feel secure, men want to feel significant.

Best of luck to you both.

[jerrymrc]

I think you may have met a friend of mine there this weekend. They have 5 kids and needed this. [Flower]

[HoneyBadger]

Glad it went well for you. Marriage is something worth fighting for. [Beer]

[Colorancher]

Glad to hear this! We attended one of these and it was beneficial.


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[Great-Kazoo]

Glad it went well for you. Marriage is something worth fighting for. [Beer]

Unfortunately for some, it's a desperate grasp for something that gave out years ago. For others dialogue helps, same for counseling. If you're not willing to make the effort you have no one to blame but yourself. HOWEVER when they hit menopause time, all bets are off. 38 yrs married, 41 together. Once the kid[s] are gone it gets easier. No witnesses ;)

[wctriumph]

Unfortunately for some, it's a desperate grasp for something that gave out years ago. For others dialogue helps, same for counseling. If you're not willing to make the effort you have no one to blame but yourself. HOWEVER when they hit menopause time, all bets are off. 38 yrs married, 41 together. Once the kid[s] are gone it gets easier. No witnesses ;)


Darn tootin'! That menopause thing was certainly interesting. 35 years together and still kickin'!

[Dave_L]

I'm at 1.5 years and going strong! :D

Props to the OP for taking some time to invest in your marriage. Really good to hear that it helped. Too many people expect a marriage to just be on auto pilot.

[sellersm]

There's a reason that menopause starts with the word "men"! [Coffee] We'll celebrate 32 years of matrimony this August! God gave me a precious gift which I don't cherish often enough...

[Irving]

Is Colorado Springs the only location that they have?

Edit: Looks like next one is in Estes Park. Not a bad price to save a whole marriage.

[TheGrey]

What a wonderful thing to share! I'm very happy for you both, and very happy for everyone else that has posted their marriage "track record". 23 years here, just settling in to the honeymoon phase. :)

[trlcavscout]

If you take your wife can you leave her there when it's over?

[Jeffrey Lebowski]

Wow, some of you guys are really old! Uhh…I mean really inspiring. ;)

I actually just hope to be alive long enough for us to hit 30 years. [Beer] We're at 11, though.

[Bailey Guns]

We're at 25+. I'm still trying to decide if she's worth keeping.

[Coffee]

Good for you guys for recognizing how to improve your relationship rather than just surviving in it.

[Slapps74]

10 of the best years of my life. Not without its ups and downs though. Wife is starting into menopause and I'm not looking forward to my best friend losing her marbles for a few years. But like everything else we WILL weather the storm.

[Great-Kazoo]

10 of the best years of my life. Not without its ups and downs though. Wife is starting into menopause and I'm not looking forward to my best friend losing her marbles for a few years. But like everything else we WILL weather the storm.

Batten down the hatches, stock up on extra rain gear, and ALWAYS have a flare gun.

[Gman]

Sounds like a great idea. Thanks for sharing.

[theGinsue]

I see so many tragic threads on this site. Divorce. Death of a loved one or beloved family pet (aka family member). Illnesses. Injuries... The list goes on and I feel a bit of the pain for every one of those members.

I'm thrilled for you and your wife. I'm also glad that we can still experience some good news. It provides needed balance.

Thank you for sharing. Keeping your marriage strong will require you to utilize the skills you relearned this weekend regularly. There will be days that neither of you have the strength to put the skills into practice but so long as you keep the days in the + column you should do well.

[brutal]

34 years.

Cheaper to keep her.

:D

[To Bear Arms]

Wife and I went to this about 5 years ago. It was definitely time and money well spent! It was very cool seeing how many couples were there that was at 20+ years together. It seems like it is not normal anymore in this world. We will celebrate 13 years later this year.

[SamuraiCO]

Women want to feel secure, men want to feel significant.

Best of luck to you both.

Well said. This hits it on the head.

[vim]

Thanks for the good wishes and suggestions and sharing, everyone. Me and Mrs. vim both feel really good about the weekend and each other. Showing I'm serious enough that I'm willing to change is powerful stuff apparently (huh, who would have thought ;^) And it was a weekend focused entirely on "us," which is unusual in itself. (Kids, grandkids, and parents are all nearby.)

Yes, it was the one run by Family Life. There was one couple there with 67 years together, another with 2 weeks, some pre-marrieds, and a fair number of active military couples. One cowboy (and I mean decked out), someone in motorcycle leathers, and a whole lot of everything. It was at the Broadmoor, and we stayed offsite, saving 50% on hotel costs.

And yeah, this is a good forum, which is why I shared. I figured a) why not share good news, and b) maybe there's another couple out there who wants back something they lost.

Cheers. [rockon]

[RMAC757]

I always find it odd that people are wiling to spend money for car or house maintenance but not for marriage maintenance. Glad to hear your on the right track. Your priorities are definitely in order.