View Full Version : Pro tips of the day.
Pro tips of the day.
make sure when removing a fuel filter above your head to close your mouth and have spare set of underpants in your tool box.
dont cook bacon without a shirt on.
Diesel flavored bacon from combining above events is mediocre at best ( no I am not eating bacon with my fuel covered underpants STurving)
That's funny, because I was formulating my response as I was reading. I was going to ask if the bacon fell down into your underwear. I've burned myself all the time cooking bacon with no shirt. Today I got a burn after laying down on the hot metal that was just cut off my shock tower.
OldFogey
11-05-2016, 22:30
Just don't burn the bacon!
Just don't burn the bacon!
You'll probably heal...the bacon won't.
Good thing it wasn't gas, life kinda sucks when it makes it's way to your armpits.
Good thing it wasn't gas, life kinda sucks when it makes it's way to your armpits.
truth
CNG is the majority of my work right now and mercaptian in the beard makes for a long day that smells of farts
67819
This reminds me of the sort of things we'd hear during friday safety briefs before being released for the weekend.
lpgasman
11-06-2016, 08:18
Don't get to close to the waffle iron with morning wood!
ChadAmberg
11-06-2016, 08:40
Heh, my buddy has to give weekly safety briefings at the power plant he works at. Problem is, he's just in IT, and giving the briefings to other IT folks. This is the kind of thing he's finally devolved into...
Here's a couple of tips.
Never look directly into the sun.
Your asshole is an exit, not an entrance.
Bailey Guns
11-06-2016, 09:24
Don't get to close to the waffle iron with morning wood!
Nice to see you back on the forum!
lpgasman
11-06-2016, 09:31
Nice to see you back on the forum!
Thanks Carl!
HoneyBadger
11-06-2016, 10:02
Words matter. A bulging disk is a very serious back injury. A bulging dick is TMI. This was recently briefed to an O-6 in a personnel status brief. [Shake]
Double00
11-06-2016, 10:27
Never pet a dog that's on fire. Just a little tip from me to you.
LongArmoftheLaw
11-06-2016, 10:30
Man with itchy butt should not pick nose
SideShow Bob
11-06-2016, 10:44
Your asshole is an exit, not an entrance.
Real life experience ?
SideShow Bob
11-06-2016, 10:50
Never or a dog that's on fire. Just a little tip from me to you.
????
Never or a dog that's on fire. Just a little tip from me to you.
Is this along the lines of "Never pet a flaming dog."?
hghclsswhitetrsh
11-06-2016, 11:30
Because there's an instructional YouTube video that doesn't make you qualified or capable to do the job.
buffalobo
11-06-2016, 11:32
Because there's an instructional YouTube video that doesn't make you qualified or capable to do the job.
Been fixing a lot of DIYer's?
Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk
BladesNBarrels
11-06-2016, 11:32
Because there's an instructional YouTube video that doesn't make you qualified or capable to do the job.
Darn, didn't think of that.
hghclsswhitetrsh
11-06-2016, 11:50
Been fixing a lot of DIYer's?
Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk
Somewhat. That or they'll google it after I've diagnosed the problem and say "hey that's
a $20 part on Amazon".
No matter how good the soap smells never smell your fingers when you exit the bathroom.
Somewhat. That or they'll google it after I've diagnosed the problem and say "hey that's
a $20 part on Amazon".
Tell
them the $10,000 hammer tap joke.
hghclsswhitetrsh
11-06-2016, 12:39
Tell
them the $10,000 hammer tap joke.
I guess I don't know this joke.
A big machine is broken, company hires old employee out of retirement to fix it. He takes a couple days trouble shooting, taps the machine with a hammer, then bills for $10,000.
Company freaks out about the price, saying there were no parts, etc and demands an itemized bill.
Guy writes up a new bill to the likes of:
Hammer: $9.95
Knowing where to tap machine: $9,990.05
Laughter ensues and company pays bill.
Real life experience ?
No. Just common sense.
But not everyone has common sense so thought someone could use the advice.
Real life experience ?
No. Just common sense.
But since not everyone has much common sense I just thought it might be good advice.
SideShow Bob
11-06-2016, 13:34
I am honored, quoting me was worth a double post.....[Tooth][Tooth]
OldFogey
11-06-2016, 14:15
Remember - it is a far better thing to have lobsters on your piano than to have crabs on your organ.
LongArmoftheLaw
11-06-2016, 20:14
Elevators smell different to midgets
bellavite1
11-06-2016, 20:18
WINNER!
Elevators smell different to midgets
LongArmoftheLaw
11-06-2016, 20:20
WINNER!
[Beer]
gnihcraes
11-06-2016, 20:43
7. If you find obvious porn on an employees computer while working on it, pretend like you are unable to see it.
this one has gotten a few people at work. One was headline news for a while. Didn't end well.
Every garage should have a flexible desk lamp, WITH an LED bulb installed. Like so:
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/yAxmBBkBLKxwq_3RgV6jUJEn25ghcMhY4YTSQt229BqaChjoOl s34p-lhS6h8DnMZO4ymCTVauzdCnGGHjsgIxdHrRCW9k1DbOWAl4nEQ zfvCxlKHgRyo2NUKK2yUdeyp7ycdn8V8CvuzTzSLBLzyQpfOVu 2XN7Mhaht52nvacIN45Ehd5CSmXTKKhfdPllq70d7467BuPmBx-TJL-Q8AMXZxJUORcJuIkejoV7NasFJNUh8Vef7uuPq_R0gzck352J_ zeoQcs4v2AyZIWSqzlr2aBXvKS8nOXNy437IF1x8tXhil7kvLj BcPd7JMkurdlGuM4fQ0I9y9jqprfp1l-TVKri9-EuoM2trRgLsefdMKFPFOMplXkgf2coXd8lY6360nD0EOsitrM_ COBO7aN6o2RJJ0vDHZsZZoYCGsYdJWpAiDFzyRFbXhld15RE9u iyV23yVZ_wKgf0iYJ49uCAh_ag8lB5LiC7xv3QDdMXGauWYU6s HvwGch87bQOto_GJ_PRq7DMnrOoFKScOiKHzaHOIKqdD8FMiwq 35IW-5P4MKT3fVEZUvApp9VG_Utx4bOnvEmwwBo9P-bYVhHUa_C-BJbNAf7WWCv2nnCLAjsI44VoA=w1689-h950-no
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/XEORYQoNimmisYArt_gKYVX4IcbWKvEtaUu604W41j_YzMamWc o3iYXfb2_XKBou5L-73x93CYOmNVvTsMbsDLcD5obKE-hQLXsgN2CzmwwxBVwlrvusUapZBuW8gtbyK5W62-jjBQdWxGbb9CgxDfswH6e02omG4AN4Wm_JG5gKOvKjDHwatkFJ _f9jo1luc2ofGEIOqxSvIEADwiNg-l96FQdyee90bef3qRUm-ZqV9buHUsCn3lV_UEAVScAsPhuGtDWa3m9OwtL4O9YJ-gQ-Wv0HF8xrw8UGjbTQ9IIK3nD6FCGGlMldqkA42_p0u1vYgvc6yY Vkir0YTHEnKKgN96Fv9VDqDJF-KBf4-K8O6BMYBBSHDGSbmOGtToLYYaa0qV_GUaA9OnsnB6-Mwmf8PeUD6bWWHYzmtqujl8lPIOUIg1BKVOwmV9dzYih--E23hcMCK_7bTlyLIEA1fIl0pR3dtTpuYl7aroGuvHp2ls1MDIE kc4kNBz3a_D2AP_oR3R7FyxxQB7m1c3TwoNzoT0XHDvoh1jO-adt-6ZIvZXfXzxkUlsSLaM7YHJfNWiq8tQzA3ercvlHBVc7JueGDr9 x784nydbLlBt-7SQCZLKTuag=w1689-h950-no
I get cross-eyed just thinking of the number of times I've knocked this lamp over, or slid it under the car, or kicked it over, etc. For example, when it let go of the windshield wiper in the second photo and hit the floor, the bulb was fine; just as it was the hundreds of other times it's fallen over. Doesn't sound like a big deal, but it's so nice to have durable lighting in the garage.
Every garage should have a flexible desk lamp, WITH an LED bulb installed. Like so:
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/yAxmBBkBLKxwq_3RgV6jUJEn25ghcMhY4YTSQt229BqaChjoOl s34p-lhS6h8DnMZO4ymCTVauzdCnGGHjsgIxdHrRCW9k1DbOWAl4nEQ zfvCxlKHgRyo2NUKK2yUdeyp7ycdn8V8CvuzTzSLBLzyQpfOVu 2XN7Mhaht52nvacIN45Ehd5CSmXTKKhfdPllq70d7467BuPmBx-TJL-Q8AMXZxJUORcJuIkejoV7NasFJNUh8Vef7uuPq_R0gzck352J_ zeoQcs4v2AyZIWSqzlr2aBXvKS8nOXNy437IF1x8tXhil7kvLj BcPd7JMkurdlGuM4fQ0I9y9jqprfp1l-TVKri9-EuoM2trRgLsefdMKFPFOMplXkgf2coXd8lY6360nD0EOsitrM_ COBO7aN6o2RJJ0vDHZsZZoYCGsYdJWpAiDFzyRFbXhld15RE9u iyV23yVZ_wKgf0iYJ49uCAh_ag8lB5LiC7xv3QDdMXGauWYU6s HvwGch87bQOto_GJ_PRq7DMnrOoFKScOiKHzaHOIKqdD8FMiwq 35IW-5P4MKT3fVEZUvApp9VG_Utx4bOnvEmwwBo9P-bYVhHUa_C-BJbNAf7WWCv2nnCLAjsI44VoA=w1689-h950-no
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/XEORYQoNimmisYArt_gKYVX4IcbWKvEtaUu604W41j_YzMamWc o3iYXfb2_XKBou5L-73x93CYOmNVvTsMbsDLcD5obKE-hQLXsgN2CzmwwxBVwlrvusUapZBuW8gtbyK5W62-jjBQdWxGbb9CgxDfswH6e02omG4AN4Wm_JG5gKOvKjDHwatkFJ _f9jo1luc2ofGEIOqxSvIEADwiNg-l96FQdyee90bef3qRUm-ZqV9buHUsCn3lV_UEAVScAsPhuGtDWa3m9OwtL4O9YJ-gQ-Wv0HF8xrw8UGjbTQ9IIK3nD6FCGGlMldqkA42_p0u1vYgvc6yY Vkir0YTHEnKKgN96Fv9VDqDJF-KBf4-K8O6BMYBBSHDGSbmOGtToLYYaa0qV_GUaA9OnsnB6-Mwmf8PeUD6bWWHYzmtqujl8lPIOUIg1BKVOwmV9dzYih--E23hcMCK_7bTlyLIEA1fIl0pR3dtTpuYl7aroGuvHp2ls1MDIE kc4kNBz3a_D2AP_oR3R7FyxxQB7m1c3TwoNzoT0XHDvoh1jO-adt-6ZIvZXfXzxkUlsSLaM7YHJfNWiq8tQzA3ercvlHBVc7JueGDr9 x784nydbLlBt-7SQCZLKTuag=w1689-h950-no
I get cross-eyed just thinking of the number of times I've knocked this lamp over, or slid it under the car, or kicked it over, etc. For example, when it let go of the windshield wiper in the second photo and hit the floor, the bulb was fine; just as it was the hundreds of other times it's fallen over. Doesn't sound like a big deal, but it's so nice to have durable lighting in the garage.
I just spit water out my nose on this one thanks... Somebody give him a work light please lol
Oh, I was being serious. The bendy lamp is great for positioning in tight spots and the LED has great light quality without being hot. I can place light where I need without blinding myself or cooking myself at the same time. I'm had work lights before and they get broken.
Not bad Irving glue a fatty magnet to the bottom so you can stick to various things for even better positioning.
best way to peel a bunch of garlic at once is put the cloves in a Tupperware container close the lid and shake them as hard as you can.
Not bad Irving glue a fatty magnet to the bottom so you can stick to various things for even better positioning.
best way to peel a bunch of garlic at once is put the cloves in a Tupperware container close the lid and shake them as hard as you can.
Funny you mention magnets. This lamp doubles as my sewing lamp and it usually has magnets up and down the shaft holding various stitching tools up out of the way.
I've confirmed that Martha Stewart method of peeling garlic many times and it works very well.
this one has gotten a few people at work. One was headline news for a while. Didn't end well.
I don't doubt it. Also, porn sites are a massive vector for malware. God help the first person I ever find with porn on their machine. Because they will become the example for everyone else to know why you don't do that, especially at work.
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