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View Full Version : The way to treat a mugger!



Mista Bukit
09-22-2009, 18:49
Posted to Craig's List / Personals:
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 A M EST. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend threatening our lifes. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment, I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare footed since I made you leave your your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you .... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.
Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,
Bill
P.S. Remember this motto...An armed society makes for a more civil society!





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sniper7
09-22-2009, 19:24
Awesome![ROFL1]

DD977GM2
09-22-2009, 19:25
If it really did happen, then that is fucking hilarious. [ROFL1][ROFL2][ROFL3]

If it were me, there would be one less mugger in the world FWIW [Coffee]

GunTroll
09-22-2009, 20:22
Savannah is rough! I was stationed near there while active. A few of my battles got mugged while out on the town near River street. I liked the area but a little too gangsta/ghetto for me in some areas.

This sounds a bit suspicious. Sort of over the top. Funny as hell but I bet embellished a bit.

CareyH
09-22-2009, 21:14
I hope with all my little black heart that this is a true story.

spleify
09-22-2009, 21:38
Yeah I hope that is true too, if so that is just plain awesome. Good for him.

theGinsue
09-22-2009, 22:10
It makes for a great story either way.



Savannah is rough! I was stationed near there while active.

You're not talking about herpes are you? [ROFL1]

GhostRider
09-22-2009, 22:32
[ROFL1][ROFL2][ROFL1][ROFL2]
It makes for a great story either way.




You're not talking about herpes are you? [ROFL1]

Jer
09-23-2009, 11:05
I don't think it's true because I read this same thing years ago when Clinton was in office and it used him for the latter part. Not to mention the guy actually broke a SHIT ton of laws himself as 'payback' which would have got him in a lot of trouble. From actually turning into the mugger himself to identity theft to vandalism all the way up to calling in death threats on the presidents life. Still funny though.

GunTroll
09-24-2009, 10:33
It makes for a great story either way.




You're not talking about herpes are you? [ROFL1]

You too!?!?!?[ROFL1]

GreenScoutII
09-25-2009, 08:46
The story is probably B.S., but amusing as hell anyway. I've often wondered if extending the lawful use of deadly force to property crime might put a stop to burglaries, car theft, etc. Not that I really think someone should die for simple theft, but I shure FELT like shooting the bastard who broke into my truck last year...