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View Full Version : It doesnt mean "Teleportation"...



FireMoth
08-21-2018, 06:13
OK, kiddos, its time once again for the old man to have "one of those talks" with you all.

Recently another exciting product was announced by an exciting manufacturer that was going to do the same shit as products we have long had, but in new and exciting ways.
To keep the interest fresh, they very helpfully posted "Now Shipping" notifications to the electronical-interwebs, to let us all know that a product we didnt know we needed 6 months ago would soon be available to satisfy our now pressing, urgent need to get rid of the old dead weight we have hanging around.
...And approximately 6 milliseconds later, I began receiving phone calls asking if I had said new product in stock.

So, lets explain "shipping", for those who are new to the concept of material transportation.
"Shipping" involves every step in a process that starts with contacting someone to transport said material, creating labels, weighing, boxing, counting, and staging product, waiting for the shipper to arrive, loading, signing, etc.,etc.,...

What it does NOT involve is a fat man with a heavy Scottish brogue setting said product on a bit of lexan flooring with a circular halogen light beneath it, throwing a lever on a 1960s era sound mixing board, which subsequently disintegrates the product, blasts it accross sub-space, and instantly rematerializes, pre counted, checked in, and labeled, in the hands of your favorite retailers.

Much like many retailers online, manufacturers of new and exciting parts will often post "shipping" notifications as soon as the shipping process has started... which could mean as early the creation of the first shipping label.
More importantly, is WHO they begin shipping to.
Other then the obvious advertisi... er... media outlets that assure us that the new and exciting version of the product today is so much better then the last product they reviewed that did the same thing, no matter how much of the rhetoric they recycled from the last review for the current article;
The next in line to recieve said product is DISTRIBUTERS, who will then segregate, and DISTRIBUTE the product through that same shipping process.
Believe it or not, thos IS the most expedient way to get the new product into your sweatly little paws.
Because DISTRIBUTORS are in the business of DISTRIBUTION, they are generally better at it then MANUFACTURERS, who we have discovered in ths little article consider a product shipped as soon as the head of the shipping departmwnt has clocked in for the day.

So, now that we understand how products reach retailers, perhaps we can temper our need to get on the phone right away, and make declarations like "But such and such already has a REVIEW up! Why cant i have one?".
Because, sparky, like any addictive substance, there are producers, movers, distributers, and PUSHERS, before it gets down to the lowly dealer.
The PUSHER's job is to get you sweating and scratching your veins, thats why they get the first taste.
...But that doesnt change the fact that those "mules" in brown still have to put things on trucks, drive them places, and take them off again, before you can get your "fix".

So now you understand "shipping", and why No, I DONT have it yet. But i promise it will be just as fresh and crisp and exciting as you expect, when we, your lowly neighborhood dealers are able to get it to you.

Good talk. Now run along and play outside. If youre not SHOOTING your guns, your certainly dont need new things on them. Play with the toys you have, and wait for christmas morning like everyone else.

Rucker61
08-21-2018, 06:20
So, later today then?

ChickNorris
08-21-2018, 06:26
I saw what you did to the last shipment at Bower's!

FireMoth
08-21-2018, 06:29
So, later today then?

EXACTLY. See? You get it...

FireMoth
08-21-2018, 06:32
I saw what you did to the last shipment at Bower's!

Its an integral part of the "shipping" process. Falls under "product testing".
Just another one of those special services we provide, free of charge [ROFL1]

StagLefty
08-21-2018, 07:38
So my FireMoth T-shirt is still not in ?

BPTactical
08-21-2018, 08:42
Does this mean you don't deliver?

Skip
08-21-2018, 09:23
OP is vague.

If you don't tell us what that product is, how are we supposed to call you all day and ask if it's in stock?

TFOGGER
08-21-2018, 09:27
New UPS service: Quantum Air-when it absolutely, positively, has to be there the day before you ship it!

Delfuego
08-21-2018, 09:30
So, lets explain "shipping", for those who are new to the concept of material transportation.[ROFL1]

Justin
08-21-2018, 10:15
Hey, I've got an unrelated question:

How long will it take the guys at Bowers to install a bump stock on my hi-point?

I hear you guys are the best place to go for Hi Points.

Squeeze
08-21-2018, 11:46
Hey, I've got an unrelated question:

How long will it take the guys at Bowers to install a bump stock on my hi-point?

I hear you guys are the best place to go for Hi Points.

Oh shit. Shots fired.

http://i1094.photobucket.com/albums/i445/TangoDownPro/Shots%20Fired_zpsugygosls.jpg (http://s1094.photobucket.com/user/TangoDownPro/media/Shots%20Fired_zpsugygosls.jpg.html)

RblDiver
08-21-2018, 11:51
New UPS service: Quantum Air-when it absolutely, positively, has to be there the day before you ship it!

But then it's both delivered and not delivered, and when you ask if it has been delivered, you change the outcome!

Delfuego
08-21-2018, 12:01
How about now????

izzy
08-21-2018, 12:15
I don't even know what it is and I want one!

asmo
08-21-2018, 12:32
Lots of exciting new products are suddenly in the firearm world after the teledildonics patent expired.

^^THIS^^

Irving
08-21-2018, 12:36
Perhaps you should clarify the difference between "Now shipping," and "in theaters now!" or "in stores now" for your clients.

sellersm
08-21-2018, 12:46
I thought that's what drones were for?

Irving
08-21-2018, 12:57
My favorite was the time a customer once asked me, "Whatever happened to 30 minutes or it's free?"

Me: "While that early 1990's pizza delivery promotion was popular, it never applied to tow trucks."

WETWRKS
08-21-2018, 15:25
75784

Gman
08-21-2018, 17:30
My favorite was the time a customer once asked me, "Whatever happened to 30 minutes or it's free?"

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZLJMl6GSxfc/UmwCMXrog-I/AAAAAAAANsI/wMyjk_Wc4s0/s400/blast+door+we+deliver+3.jpg

FireMoth
08-21-2018, 19:25
Does this mean you don't deliver?

Oh, of course we do. with magic owls, like Harry Potter

FireMoth
08-21-2018, 19:27
OP is vague.

If you don't tell us what that product is, how are we supposed to call you all day and ask if it's in stock?

Not my first rodeo, champ. Only way im doing that is if i know i can make SA Friday answer the phone all day

FireMoth
08-21-2018, 19:28
Hey, I've got an unrelated question:

How long will it take the guys at Bowers to install a bump stock on my hi-point?

I hear you guys are the best place to go for Hi Points.

Its pretty quick, once I establish a clean flame in the oxy-fuel rig

FireMoth
08-21-2018, 19:31
I thought that's what drones were for?

Oh, yeah it is!
But for some reason people object to SA Friday responding to annoying phone calls with Pred Strikes...

FireMoth
08-21-2018, 19:32
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZLJMl6GSxfc/UmwCMXrog-I/AAAAAAAANsI/wMyjk_Wc4s0/s400/blast+door+we+deliver+3.jpg

I thought Missle Wing's motto was "Row Well, and Live"

Irving
08-21-2018, 20:43
Do you guys still have the online coupon where you type BRO into the promotion box and you get 10% off?

roberth
08-22-2018, 08:05
Do you guys still have the online coupon where you type BRO into the promotion box and you get 10% off?

I thought the promo word was 'BRAH".

Irving
08-22-2018, 08:31
I can neither confirm nor deny.

theGinsue
08-22-2018, 18:43
Wait, is it "brah", or "bra"? That always confuses me.

:)

Delfuego
08-22-2018, 19:41
How bout now?

buffalobo
08-22-2018, 21:50
I don't even know what it is and I want one!^^^This. It always happens after one of Firemoths talks.

BladesNBarrels
08-23-2018, 09:37
Well darn, it was announced it was "now shipping" 2 days ago, and I still don't have it!

BPTactical
08-24-2018, 09:47
Still waiting.....

ChickNorris
08-24-2018, 10:04
Tap tap tap...

FireMoth
08-24-2018, 21:55
How bout now?

Yep, now.
of course, by 1100 tomorrow, it will be the wait for the next run

wyome
08-24-2018, 21:59
I don't know what it is... but is it available in FDE and coyote tan?

FireMoth
08-24-2018, 22:07
I don't know what it is... but is it available in FDE and coyote tan?

Im certain it will be available in FDE in the near future.
But in an obvious racial bias, Black is almost always chosen over tan.
Take it how you like

Skip
08-25-2018, 09:34
Im certain it will be available in FDE in the near future.
But in an obvious racial bias, Black is almost always chosen over tan.
Take it how you like

That's because black matches my shoes.

brutal
08-25-2018, 12:00
I know what it is, because I follow Bowers on FB.

[Neene1]