New Type of "Home Defense" Safe: Crushes Burglars

[Bailey Guns]

I can see it now. Setting up your safe with a figure-4 deadfall using a handgun as bait. Burglar goes for handgun and ...squish!

https://www.foxnews.com/us/suspected-burglar-crushed-to-death-by-900-pound-safe-police


A suspected burglar was found crushed to death by a 900-pound safe in an Indiana home this week, local authorities said.

The Marion Police Department said they received a call on Tuesday from a man named George Hollingsworth who believed his garage was broken into. Hollingsworth told police that the door frame was damaged and the garage was so cluttered that he couldn't tell what was stolen, according to a press release.

While cleaning out the garage on Wednesday to see what might have been stolen, Hollingsworth found a body underneath a 900-pound antique floor safe that had evidently fallen over, Deputy Chief Stephen D. Dorsey said.

[BushMasterBoy]

Squashed to be safe.

[20X11]

Next, they'll identify the corpse as a Mr. Wile E. Coyote

[Irving]

Surprised all the old newspapers and dead cats didn't cushion the blow.

[StagLefty]

Next, they'll identify the corpse as a Mr. Wile E. Coyote

Nope-it's not an Acme safe [ROFL2]

[Hummer]

"Jeremiah A. Disney (pictured) is a father-of-one who has a history of offenses, having been charged with domestic battery, criminal confinement and interference with the reporting of a crime in 2011"

He was just a treasure hunter trying to get his life together. Burgled, gurgled and gone.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6813445/Indiana-homeowner-finds-intruder-28-DEAD-underneath-900LB-antique-safe-cleaning-garage.html

[TFOGGER]

Stupid games...

Darwin for the win!

77601

[Bailey Guns]

I understand how certain weird accidents can happen. For the life of me I can't figure out how you manage to push/pull a 900 pound safe on to yourself. I'm really not seeing the dynamics involved in that.

[DenverGP]

Another article said safe was up on a floor jack (did not say why).

https://www.sacbee.com/news/nation-world/national/article227804684.html



Police wrote in their statement that the safe, which had been held up by a floor jack, appeared to have fallen over onto the intruder as he rummaged through the tightly packed garage.


Additional quote from another article:



"I came in and told my wife, 'I think we’ve got a dead body out there.' She thought I was kidding," said Hollingsworth.


George's wife quickly called 911. Amid the mess of the garage, the first officer on scene initially wasn't sure the man was actually dead.


"The officer walked in and said, 'Buddy. Hey buddy,'" said Hollingsworth. "I’m was thinking he’s dead. Come on now."

Eventually fire crews arrived, lifted up the antique safe and pulled out the mangled corpse.



And finally, turns out the safe was empty:



Hollingsworth isn't sure why anyone would try to move the heavy safe.


"I don’t know. I don’t understand why they would do that," said Hollingsworth. "There’s nothing in it. It’s empty. It’s just one my dad had."


https://fox59.com/2019/03/14/marion-man-finds-body-underneath-900-pound-antique-floor-safe-after-suspected-break-in/

[Bailey Guns]

Man...that's one of those weird stories that would be hard to make up.

[Irving]

My false flag senses are tingling.

[ChickNorris]

My false flag senses are tingling.

^^^this

[Hummer]

Gurgle trap. Uf-da.

[Duman]

Karma is a bitch. Instant karma sucks.

[iego]

One should be careful around 900 pound objects.

-John

[Duman]

One should be careful around 900 pound objects.

-John

Especially if it's your significant other.....

[Duman]

Well.... Wyle E. Coyote, ACME, anvils.... no matter how you slice it, that is one helluva mouse trap....