Sometimes...

[Circuits]

you become an adult when a situation comes upon you and you rise to the occasion. Other times, perhaps, you choose your time and your situation and decide to assert or identify as an adult during or afterwards. More likely, you just did what you did, and realized afterwards that you were now an adult.

I'd like to hear about others' experiences on when you realized you were, or had to act as, or had become in that experience, an adult.


Corollary: what does "being an adult" mean to you?

[Bailey Guns]

I think it hit me in July 1979 when I stepped off the bus at Lackland AFB to the sound of screaming TIs.

[fitterjohn]

I feel like I did a bunch or grown up things full time career at 19 bought my house at 22, but the moment I actually felt like an adult was the first time I saw my son. Up until that point I felt like a teen with a bunch of money out for a good time with my buddies and being an adult would come later.

[BPTactical]

I've never hit that point in my life.[LOL]

[Bailey Guns]

I've definitely had relapses out of adulthood.

[StagLefty]

When my son was born it hit me that it was time to step up !!!

[FoxtArt]

I'm not sure I recollect a defining line. It would've felt that way sometime before being a legal adult though, but I don't recall how far before. I missed out on a lot of the teenagy bs, but it was for the best.

Sort of off topic, but I remember a guy doing a paid speech once, a few years back. He opened with "Let me take you back to the hardest time in your life, high school". He was serious, and I stood up and walked out.

[theGinsue]

I think it hit me in July 1979 when I stepped off the bus at Lackland AFB to the sound of screaming TIs.

For me if was a few months before going to Basic. I was in college and ran out of money. I lived in a nasty trailer with my brother who informed me he was moving out of town. The only job I could get (that paid me a salary) was at Wendy's - which was not enough to pay full rent and food to survive. I tried to get financial aid from college but was turned down on every front. I was coming up on VERY hard times in 3 months. I knew I'd be on welfare & food stamps (if I qualified) if I didn't do something quickly and moving back home to mom and dad wasn't an option. I decided the only adult choice I had was to join the military. I arranged to visit the recruiter and then used the college library to study for the ASVAB test. My lowest score on the test was 85. I took responsibility for my life as an adult would instead of relying on others to take care of me.

[wctriumph]

There was no particular incident that I can remember when I said to myself, "you are all grown up now, you are a man". I just was.

[Great-Kazoo]

What's an adult ?

IMO there's no real defining moment, but many of them. Being there assisting the delivery of your first child, for one.

As much as it's a mental one, it's also physical. Having a stroke changes one's entire outlook and how you approach life afterward. Same for cancer or other illness that one may have, or that happens to their spouse. Stepping up when life, or death calls, is not a single event.

[UncleDave]

When I had to give my father a shower, and change his diapers, that was a defining moment of man-upness.

[JohnnyEgo]

Children made me feel old, though not necessarily adult. I go to sleep about 15 minutes after my son does, and I'd rather cut things off after 2 drinks then wake up tired and hung over.

As to adult specifically, it wasn't something I consciously considered until a couple years ago, in the context of work. Had a critical task that was going sideways, with jobs on the line. Talking to a peer in panic, and realized in the moment that all the bosses who had carried us through previous crisis moments had retired, and me and my peers had taken on their roles. Told my peer, 'well, I guess we're the real adults now, so it's up to us to figure it out'. First moment I can recall where I've consciously thought of myself as being an adult.

[Grant H.]

I still don't...

Buying our house was one moment where I realized I was doing "adult" things, but I still didn't feel like I was one.

The one conversation that made me realize I am "in adulthood" was when I was talking about 401K and other retirement savings and being told that I was over halfway to retirement (normal age).

[eddiememphis]

Sitting in a holding cell with a bunch of losers. The crazy guy across from me was trying to break his handcuffs and I could hear the steel grinding against his bony arms. Then the dumbass next to me turns and asks, "Is a felony bad?"

I* was caught stealing a gas pump from an out of business rental yard. I was going to turn it into a beer pump. It was an old one with rolling numbers. Wire it up so every time you hit the dispenser, the numbers rolled and it rang a bell. The base was large enough to conceal a pony keg.

Still kinda want to build one...

*there were a lot of people involved but I'll stick with "I"

[Gman]

http://youtu.be/VJJ-ZLdrTwY

[encorehunter]

I still don't...

Buying our house was one moment where I realized I was doing "adult" things, but I still didn't feel like I was one.

The one conversation that made me realize I am "in adulthood" was when I was talking about 401K and other retirement savings and being told that I was over halfway to retirement (normal age).

The retirement talk really made me feel like I am older than I feel. It was metioned I may be able to retire early...in nine years. I thought I was still getting started in my career after 15 years.

[RblDiver]

Nothing quite so definitive, but when I was...20 or 21, I was helping TA a summer course at my college for elementary kids. At one point some kids got into an argument, I intervened.
Kid - "He started it!"
Me - "And I'm ending it."
Kid - "That's what all adults say."

[Duman]

There have been several instances where I've stepped up, but a few cases where I've relapsed. At least now I'm more aware of which situations require an adult to show up....

[Zcsdkr]

At least now I'm more aware of which situations require an adult to show up....

I spit out my beer from this.

[Irving]

Raising children of course. Having to try and explain adult things to kids, and not really knowing what to do/say when they run into trouble with other kids.

I didn't grow up doing a ton of outside stuff, or really being around a lot of manual labor. So things like fixing my own car, remodeling my house, or building something makes me feel all adulty. For me, loading up a trailer and taking stuff some where makes me feel pretty grown up.

[Hound]

Mine was when my later-to-be mother in-law was having a tirade in my then rented apartment and I clearly remember my fathers voice say in the back of my head...? When you pay the mortgage you make the rules. Until then, I do? and it hit me. Wait, I am paying the rent. So.... that means I don? have to listen to this crap. I was a bouncer at local concerts. So I very professionally picked this screaming PITA up and nicely put her on the front stoop. She kept going, so I then informed her if she did not leave, I was going to call the cops. She left, never forgave me for that moment but.... it was worth it. I was an adult with all the power and repercussions that means. Still living with it to this day.

[Irving]

I hope you jumped on the bed and ate ice cream for dinner after that.

Another thing that flips the switch for me is when you're in a corporate environment and people get excited about Jeans Day or holidays when people usually party and get drunk. I can wear jeans or get drunk when ever I want, I just have to deal with whatever consequences.

[hatidua]

I'm not sure any of the moments that one would think of as being "adult" really hit me that way. I was sent off at 14 for four years of boarding school in a foreign country and all of the events after that just happened whether I thought those were adult moments or not - getting married, buying a house, burying a parent, estate planning, etc.

One thing I did find poignant was the switch from when I was generally socializing with people older than I was (into my late 30's) and I was at the younger end of the group, to suddenly being the older person in the group, that really rearranges perspective. Telling my wife that as much as we may consider ourselves able to socialize with people who are 35, they have no interest in hanging around with people the age of their parents. Realizing in a youth-obsessed culture that I have more road behind me than in front of me is an interesting thought at times.

[Fentonite]

.... Telling my wife that as much as we may consider ourselves able to socialize with people who are 35, they have no interest in hanging around with people the age of their parents. Realizing in a youth-obsessed culture that I have more road behind me than in front of me is an interesting thought at times.

This.

[RblDiver]

Telling my wife that as much as we may consider ourselves able to socialize with people who are 35, they have no interest in hanging around with people the age of their parents.

The irony is I'm almost 35, yet regularly do trivia with my boss and his friend, both of whom are old enough to be my parents :P

[buffalobo]

I'm not gonna do it and you can't make me.[AR15][Flower]