View Full Version : Evil Christmas wrapping and gifts
encorehunter
12-11-2019, 10:53
It has become a tradition amongst my brothers to make it a pain in the ... to open our Christmas presents from each other, or come up with totally useless gifts. Last year, the best one was a 0% AR10. A chunk of aluminium, a steel rod and assorted wood screws and springs from ball point pens, all wrapped in an AR10 box. The changing of look from excitement to utter disappointment was great.
Duct tape and zip ties are getting old for wrapping gifts, so other ideas are in the works. Anyone have any new ideas for tormenting siblings or significant others?
You could do a wooden box and put it together with bolts and then use stainless wire to secure the bolts like they do in the aviation industry.
That packing tape with the fiberglass strands is some seriously tough stuff as well if you don?t have a knife handy.
BushMasterBoy
12-11-2019, 11:01
A blowup doll and a small cannister of helium.
Bailey Guns
12-11-2019, 11:03
You could do a wooden box and put it together with bolts and then use stainless wire to secure the bolts like they do in the aviation industry.
Metal box and weld it closed.
Wood box, steel band straps, security screws with an obscure head. Inside a heart shaped chocolate box containing dried dog poop.
Metal box and weld it closed.
Have to make sure the gift inside is flammable so torching it open would destroy the present. Maybe a one pound can of gunpowder?
Whatever you give them and however you package it just make sure to include plenty of glitter. That shit gets everywhere. It will be months before they don?t look like they just came from a strip joint.
Have to make sure the gift inside is flammable so torching it open would destroy the present. Maybe a one pound can of gunpowder?
Boom!!! No more brother.
Would be funny if you could make it look like it was stacked full of cash that burned up.
Metal box and weld it closed.
This was my idea. I was thinking steel foil and some tack welds. Or Ray's idea about the wooden box, but just glue everything.
If someone gave me a gift that required me to download a mobile app that needs access to all my contacts and photos would piss me off.
A "gift" that they would need to pay for to get, kind of like COD?
"I gave you a subscription. That didn't mean I was going to pay for it."
buffalobo
12-11-2019, 11:59
Make it treasure hunt. Hide gift, give card with initial instructions telling them to solve/find clues around house/yard/shop. Can easily make it last hours while you sit and watch.
5 gallon bucket, gift in a pickle jar, invert the pickle jar and fill the bucket with cement, leaving just the bottom of the pickle jar visible(maybe 3 or 4 inches of 3 inch pvc pipe to keep the jar from being fully covered).
Think of a large number of coins...(5,000 pennies for $50...1,000 dimes for $100) sprinkled into a box with expanding foam so the foam has to be meticulously chipped away a coin at a time.. you get the idea.
encorehunter
12-11-2019, 13:17
One of our engineers is making wood puzzle boxes. He told me I am not allowed to use a hammer or screwdriver to open the box. How narrow minded of him. I'm going to use the spreaders (jaws of life) if I cant figure out how to open it.
Delfuego
12-11-2019, 13:52
0% AR-10 is outstanding!
RblDiver
12-11-2019, 13:56
Just wrap something like a pen in layer upon layer upon layer upon layer upon layer of wrapping paper until it's the size of a log.
Just buy him a regular DVD of Avatar and wrap it normal. I can hardly think of a more disappointing gift.
Just buy him a regular DVD of Avatar and wrap it normal. I can hardly think of a more disappointing gift.
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51kkF03jdPL.jpg
encorehunter
12-11-2019, 14:18
Just picked up a bunch of the clearance ammo. Maybe I will give them a box and wrap each individual round...
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51kkF03jdPL.jpg
Hold my beer...
http://pisces.bbystatic.com/image2/BestBuy_US/images/products/1980/19802568_sa.jpg;maxHeight=640;maxWidth=550
Just picked up a bunch of the clearance ammo. Maybe I will give them a box and wrap each individual round...
That sounds more like punishment to the wrapper than the un-wrapper.
Hold my beer...
http://pisces.bbystatic.com/image2/BestBuy_US/images/products/1980/19802568_sa.jpg;maxHeight=640;maxWidth=550
Waterworld was fiction. I was more offended to what Michael Bay did to a historical event.
After some more thought, hold my ginger ale...
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61LV0C4sYiL._SY679_.jpg
Ishtar 1987 NON-USA FORMAT, PAL, Reg.2 France
Water World was way better than Avatar, IMO.
ACE2GOOD
12-11-2019, 16:33
I like the spray foam idea. Fill a small bucket with spray foam and toss random amounts of money into it but layer it somehow. Make the outside edges look like its worth it with quarters or a few dollars maybe and make it worthless as you get more into it so they end up with $3.48 or something random.
One year my dad rolled up $1 bills really tight and small with packing tape. Threw them in a huge box full of green packing peanuts and said there was $50 in there but left it like $6 short or something. I went through the peanuts multiple times before I caught on that he might have just left some out to be even more of a pain.
Bailey Guns
12-11-2019, 16:48
Since some of you guys are trying to be REALLY hateful:
https://i.imgur.com/cB9pu0o.jpg
On the similar idea to the pickle jar.
Put a gift card in a ballon in concrete let it set then drill a 1” hole it will pop the ballon and you can pull the pieces out leaving the gift card
Anything that comes in a stout wood box (think US GI ammo crate). Then screw the lid together in many places, countersinked, and use wood filler in the holes.
Before you screw it, be sure to use wood glue and cabinet clamps. Then write on it "caution, contents will not survive cutting or stabbing". The smaller the box, the better. That's all you have to do.
Even if you have tools, this sounds like a shitty day to me.
ChickNorris
12-11-2019, 17:20
On the similar idea to the pickle jar.
Put a gift card in a ballon in concrete let it set then drill a 1? hole it will pop the ballon and you can pull the pieces out leaving the gift card
Rather than cement maybe try something similar but with West Systems clear epoxy.
Guess that is a bit on the expensive side though it sure would be purdy to put on a shelf.
;- )
ChickNorris
12-11-2019, 17:31
I suggest the 105 resin and the 207 hardener.
Rucker61
12-11-2019, 19:08
Metal box and weld it closed.
Two co-workers bet each other a six pack, and the one who lost was a metal worker on the side. He welded a cage around a six pack of Bud tallboys.
tmjohnson
12-11-2019, 19:11
I gave my brother a piece of cholla cactus. Hid it in a bag, he plucked needles for 2 hours afterward.
BushMasterBoy
12-11-2019, 19:36
79638
bellavite1
12-11-2019, 20:21
Sent to my brother a penis enlargement pump.
All the way to Italy.
Hopefully he opened it in front of his in-laws...[Coffee]
Colorado Osprey
12-12-2019, 07:31
Just buy him a regular DVD of Avatar and wrap it normal. I can hardly think of a more disappointing gift.
Even easier..... start gifting old VHS video tapes (like Avatar). If you are too young to own any you can find tons cheap at the thrifts stores.
Great-Kazoo
12-12-2019, 09:54
what ever it is, crazy gorilla glue it to the bottom, or top, of a cheap dollar store plastic container.
This came across my faceplant feed this morning...
http://scontent.fapa1-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/79998470_10156810549416220_747173019280998400_o.jp g?_nc_cat=1&_nc_oc=AQlzv3F-nZ5ut7I-7ac8bUBwFtdTrDxMe2GOM6SsL3OnOTfJz8hJbNCx_BoaMysopQ g&_nc_ht=scontent.fapa1-2.fna&oh=44fdfdb729156c85472710d0a50c5255&oe=5E717971
Evil. I am impressed they got that welded up without setting the box on fire.
Just picked up a bunch of the clearance ammo. Maybe I will give them a box and wrap each individual round...
Layer the individual ammo in expanding foam spray, encase the foam brick in concrete, then weld a cage around it.
This came across my faceplant feed this morning...
http://scontent.fapa1-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/79998470_10156810549416220_747173019280998400_o.jp g?_nc_cat=1&_nc_oc=AQlzv3F-nZ5ut7I-7ac8bUBwFtdTrDxMe2GOM6SsL3OnOTfJz8hJbNCx_BoaMysopQ g&_nc_ht=scontent.fapa1-2.fna&oh=44fdfdb729156c85472710d0a50c5255&oe=5E717971
I was just coming to post that one. Beat me to it.
Built not Bought?
Foreign language bible. :)
This came across my faceplant feed this morning...
http://scontent.fapa1-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/79998470_10156810549416220_747173019280998400_o.jp g?_nc_cat=1&_nc_oc=AQlzv3F-nZ5ut7I-7ac8bUBwFtdTrDxMe2GOM6SsL3OnOTfJz8hJbNCx_BoaMysopQ g&_nc_ht=scontent.fapa1-2.fna&oh=44fdfdb729156c85472710d0a50c5255&oe=5E717971
I like the irony.
Foreign language bible. :)
Great gift for the evangelical charismatic. Just tell em it’s in tongues.
Great gift for the evangelical charismatic. Just tell em it?s in tongues.
When I was a little kid, our family went to visit one of those mega church. Entire crowd start praying In tongues very loud. It was little freaky.
Steel strapping...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcvoIm8e0Aw
O2
It might be funnier to just give them the strap and the tools and see if they can figure out how to use it.
Few things make me feel like a chimpanzee with a brain disorder like trying to strap something to a pallet.
Once I get it figured out it goes okay but it typically takes several minutes and some trial and error to figure it out.
Maybe if I did it more than once a year I would remember how.
encorehunter
12-19-2019, 11:44
I will have to post some pictures after Christmas....I dont want certain people to bring proper equipment.
encorehunter
12-25-2019, 19:16
79748
It took me a good 20 minutes with my impact driver to put 20 nuts on each 7 inch carriage bolt. Inside I put a couple of pecans and a note saying, " Now that you are done playing with your nuts, you can eat some too." For my other brother, he got a dovetail puzzle box with a box of bullets inside. He was still working on it when everyone else was done wrapping gifts, so I finally had to show him how to open it.
They each also got a Kabar Tactical Spork. Never know when you might need one.
My boss will so look at me when I fire up the old crescent wrench to unloose those. :)
Very well done, encorehunter :D
-John
Sawzall or cutoff wheel would make quick work of that.
encorehunter
12-26-2019, 06:06
Due to pictures here, he did bring his angle grinder with him. I just told him he wasn't allowed to use it in the house.
That?s awesome.
It has become a tradition amongst my brothers to make it a pain in the ... to open our Christmas presents from each other, or come up with totally useless gifts. Last year, the best one was a 0% AR10. A chunk of aluminium, a steel rod and assorted wood screws and springs from ball point pens, all wrapped in an AR10 box. The changing of look from excitement to utter disappointment was great.
Duct tape and zip ties are getting old for wrapping gifts, so other ideas are in the works. Anyone have any new ideas for tormenting siblings or significant others?
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