View Full Version : I'm back after a short slumber.
jenznat0r
02-06-2020, 05:46
Couldn't really sleep tonight, as a lot is on my mind. I won't get too personal with the internet, but I figured I got some great advice I actually took last time I was on here. Figured I'd asked for it again.
Since I posted my "Possibly moving to Colorado and have LOTS of questions" thread, I had a long chat with my wife whether or not we should move back to Colorado. The general consensus was no, and that we were going to try and fight to stay here.
The gun laws are great here compared to Colorado, but I don't think I need to preach that argument.
I made the heavy decision to try and switch academic programs from majoring in history at a private religious university, to moving my family 75 miles south to a state-run university where they had a great Paralegal Studies program. The university I was at had a policy where if you are past a certain amount of credits, you can't change your major. Hence the switch. The decision was not easy for myself and my family, and I had to take a step backwards going from a Bachelor's to an AA. However, the distance was short enough that the move would be in-state and that it might be a fresh start for us.
I wish I could say things are going great for me, but academically nothing has really changed. I'm having the same problems here as I did at my last school. I don't want to get too candid, but I've suspected over the years I possibly might have a learning disability and that some of my issues stem from this. I finally humbled myself to get tested. I did just that a couple days ago here in Idaho, but the evaluator who did it won't have the final results for about 3 weeks.
My poor success in school has just made me want to consider folding the cards and just find a good entry-level career I can build into, or a great trade I can apprentice in. I tried my hand at networking out here in the gunsmithing industry in Idaho, but with little success. Most people out here don't want to take on someone and take the time to train them. I'm passionate about firearms, and would love somehow to get my foot in the door in the industry. But it's looking like it might not happen here.
All this has compounded the fact that I've somewhat put my immediate family on an emotional rollercoaster. My wife loves me and openly says she supports me, but I think that support is waning as of late. I know my wife wants stability, and we are lacking that right now. She brought up the idea again of moving back to Colorado today so we can be closer to her family and not be totally isolated in this state, but to do that would mean taking several steps back in the progress we've made as a family independently. Here in Idaho we have our own place, we have health insurance, we make our own decisions and family isn't nearby to tell us what do do. However, I know my wife is suffering inside because she severely misses her family and childhood friends back in Colorado. I've seen her cry at night alone because she isn't happy here. We moved away in 2017, and we've tried to make it work out in Idaho with mixed success. My 2 young children are too young to really have it impact them. To move back would mean living with family temporarily again, losing our health insurance, and no actual prospect of jobs waiting for us. Just a general hope of living in a more populated state that there are going to be a lot more opportunities. My wife has her CNA license that was transferred from Colorado (she just renewed it), so she has some opportunity to work as well if need be.
I guess I'm at a crossroads again and just would love some input. If you were me, regardless of laws and firearms ownership, would you uproot your family again in the interest of making your wife happy and maybe gaining some family support at the cost of perhaps logistically starting all over, or would you fight it out and stay in Idaho?
Input appreciated.
Great-Kazoo
02-06-2020, 07:59
crunch the numbers, what's more affordable?
Then crunch the emotional toll numbers. what's more important?
if she want's to return to CO, is there any of her family that will put you up or help until you get settled?
BushMasterBoy
02-06-2020, 08:21
Take a piece of paper. Draw a vertical line down the middle. At the top put Pros & Cons. Fill in the list. Then decide.
Your wife will move back to Colorado - with or without you.
Your choice.
ChickNorris
02-06-2020, 08:30
Your wife will move back to Colorado - with or without you.
Your choice.
A hard truth.
jenznat0r
02-06-2020, 09:17
crunch the numbers, what's more affordable?
Then crunch the emotional toll numbers. what's more important?
if she want's to return to CO, is there any of her family that will put you up or help until you get settled?
The cold, hard fact is that we'd be going from a massive basement apartment in someone's house with all utilities included for 850....to living with her grandparents in Aurora either in their RV temporarily or in two empty rooms in an already "doubled-up" house. My mother and father-in-law live in the basement, and the house is tiny as-is. That or we'd stay with my brother-in-law in Deer Trail. It's a rough prospect indeed. Not much cushion in this "fall back" plan. We have some savings, but not a ton.
However, I get from the other posts my wife has pretty much already made up her mind. It's just how in the heck it's all going to come down.
Even back on the somewhat-related topic of firearms, I'm going to have to take all my magazines to a gunsmith and have them pinned so they'd be compliant in your state. That, or shuffle around what I have and scramble to find compliant mags. Everything I have is 15+. Everything I bought was out here in Idaho and well...I didn't think I'd ever leave here. I love Idaho, but not enough to risk my family's future.
Even if we move, it's not going to happen until May. So I guess I have some time to plan.
jenznat0r
02-06-2020, 09:34
A hard truth.
It is. I love it out here, but my wife doesn't.
Martinjmpr
02-06-2020, 09:37
However, I get from the other posts my wife has pretty much already made up her mind. It's just how in the heck it's all going to come down.
Maybe sit down and crunch numbers with the wife so she understands just how deep of a financial hole you're going to be in if you move here.
Don't get me wrong, I love it here on the Front Range but I have a good paying job and own a house. The prospect of having to pay $1600 - $2500 monthly to rent a place with 2 bedrooms would be enough to make me seriously reconsider unless I already had a good paying job lined up. Rent is HIGH in the Metro area and it's only going up.
Maybe take a look at Colorado Springs or Pueblo, they have a somewhat lower cost of living, but still likely to be much higher than where you are now.
Even back on the somewhat-related topic of firearms, I'm going to have to take all my magazines to a gunsmith and have them pinned so they'd be compliant in your state. That, or shuffle around what I have and scramble to find compliant mags. Everything I have is 15+. Everything I bought was out here in Idaho and well...I didn't think I'd ever leave here. I love Idaho, but not enough to risk my family's future.
Oh, Geez don't waste your time and money doing that. CO law (CRS 18-12-302) specifically says that as long as you owned the magazine on 7/1/13 and maintained "continuous possession" of it you can keep your high capacity mags (CRS 18-12-302) (2) (a) .
If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. The wife could probably get some help with the kids from family if you live closer.
I wouldn't worry about what your major is in. Just get it done. As I got older I understood what a game having a degree is. Employers for the most part really don't care what your degree is in, just that you have one. I run across people all the time in the tech industry that have degrees that have nothing to do with tech. Employers primarily want to know that you stuck to it and completed it.
Agree - don't be concerned with your major. Aside from engineering, the majority of people I work with in the tech industry do not have degrees that match their job. Project Management is an easy cert to get along with a degree of your choice, and is in high demand.
If you're still young enough, consider enlisting - set you and your family up for life if you so choose.
You?re floundering with no plan. Make a plan and shift from there as necessary. Perfection is the enemy of good. Don?t be a Captain Sobel about it. In the grand scheme of things, a year or two is nothing if you work your plan correctly and with a long view. Sounds like you?re wanting immediate gratification, which 9.9/10 will result in poor decision making and failure.
eta: we already told you before to complete the degree come hell or high water. You didn?t. You shifted course. Why? As others have said, the degree?s major itself is superfluous to simply completing it.
Martinjmpr
02-06-2020, 11:23
I feel for you. Having an unhappy wife puts a lot of strain on the marriage but then again, so does going into a deep, deep financial hole. With two young kids and no real potential for a high paying job (I'm pretty sure CNA's don't make a lot, certainly not enough to support a family of 4 while you finish your education) you would be trading one kind of unhappiness for another. Financial woes have doomed many marriages.
Think about:
* Rent
* Child care costs (which are likely much higher here)
* Transportation costs
* School costs
Do you have a plan? There are hundreds of people living in beat up RVs or homeless shelters or crashing on the couches of increasingly impatient family members or friends because they said "what the heck, let's go to Denver, I hear there's lots of jobs there."
Making the jump without coming up with a plan first is setting yourself up for failure.
I'm sorry if this comes across as harsh, but both you and your wife seem to be a little lacking in maturity. You by jumping to a different major and taking yourself off the BA track and her by obsessing about how much she misses her home and family instead of focusing on the family she has. Both of you seem to be suffering from the "grass is greener" syndrome thinking that "if only I make this major change/major move, things will get better."
I think it's time for you to stop, drop and roll. Fix what's wrong NOW, don't obsess about thinking that if you move, things will get better. They likely won't.
Martinjmpr
02-06-2020, 11:32
If you're still young enough, consider enlisting - set you and your family up for life if you so choose.
I can't really agree here. Yes, I did 23 years in the Army and I liked it (most of the time) but from my recollections, the married guys who did the best in the military were the ones who either got married after they went in or at the very least, didn't start having kids until after they'd been in a while (and both they and their spouse understood what they were in for.)
The ones who came into the military with a lot of "baggage" in the form of dependents or other "issues" seemed to really struggle a lot.
The military can be tough on a marriage. There aren't many civilian jobs where you might come home from work and say "Guess what, honey, next week I leave for a year." Things like that can wreck a lot of marriages, even the ones that appeared to be strong from the outside.
Moving to Colorado won’t fix your job/schooling/personal problems. It may fix the emotional ones for your wife.
If you're still young enough, consider enlisting in the Air Force - set you and your family up for life if you so choose.
Fixed it
1) If you're searching for a reason for why you can't do something, you're doing it wrong. "No excuse sir" as adapted by some branches is the right philosophy. Don't be trying to find an excuse, only search for solutions and adapt to overcome problems. Excuses become crutches that justify negative behavior in self-reinforcing loops. On the other hand, if you live a "no excuse" life, not only are you more honest with yourself, you're more honest with others, and you're also hellishly more difficult to squish. For instance, why are you searching for a "learning disability?" At the core, I suspect it is to give yourself a mental "out". Hold yourself to a higher standard instead. Whether you do or do not, isn't really all that important. You probably already know what it takes to overcome it, but don't want to commit to it - even if you're not in a place to realize this today.
2) You might be having a discussion with the wrong people. As we only get one side of the picture, you might be looking to pick and choose emotional justification to do what you want to do anyway. Instead, you should probably just have several serious, long term planning discussions with your wife. The pros and cons are not just you and your perspective, you need to do all aspects of it as a couple and let her know you are serious about considering it. Also don't just consider two options.
3) Don't be hedonistic and adverse to change. Live a 10 year plan, starting now. I've done some things that were crazy and painful in the 1-3 year time frame, but really worked out in the long term. Don't make a decision based on what is easier tomorrow, or what you're most comfortable with. Be aware that humans apply hedonistic adaptation to settle into any situation, no matter how shitty. We are truly adverse to change. When you consider #2, you need to be aware and downplay those natural resistances.
4) Very critically; live and consider things pragmatically. As an aside, do a little bit of research on cognitive dissonance, we all warp our realities a bit - not that it's necessarily an issue here - but understanding it will add a new level of filtering to decision making. Excusing our own behavior (or that of someone else's) is one of many, many facets it can take.
Another note by the way: There's a lot of truth in the adage don't make your hobby your profession - it will quickly cease to be your hobby ever again. If you like firearms a lot, you don't want to be working on them for the general public. Or selling them. Both are usually entry-level pay at the end of the day, plus gunsmithing you have to deal with shitty people and "unhappy customers" if you do it for the public.
Can you swing a hammer, turn a wrench, pull cable? Have you considered becoming a diesel mechanic or truck driver? Most jobs in the trades will pay better than a college degree and have the added benefit of no college debt. Lots of places around the country have jobs in any of these fields for people who are willing to show up; on time, every day, willing to work. Become employable and then think about where you want to live.
There was a time I would have suggested the military for training, but if you don't come to that option on your own, you probably aren't interested. Beside that, most job training can be had outside the military today without the four year commitment.
Good luck. I've heard many people talk about how hard "adulting" is today. Be safe.
Take anything gun related off of your list of considerations completely, because it doesn't matter even a little bit. That includes messing around with pinning mags. Having 15+ capacity mags is about as serious as having more than three dogs. Every single aspect of what you are dealing with is more important than anything gun related. You've got so much baggage, that your baggage has baggage. Cut the guns out of the conversation and reevaluate.
colorider
02-06-2020, 13:28
I would sit down with your wife and come up with a plan staying in Idaho. I would take an entry level job and work up, even if it is in the trades sector. Or go to a trade school and have a part or full time job. Preferably in the trade you are studying. Moving to CO is going to be more stressful as your housing situation will be much less cozy and structured as you have now.
CO expenses are going to be more, traffic more, and daily stress and anxiety be more. Sit, talk, come up with a rational plan with your wife. Having friends and family close is nice and gives that warm fuzzy feeling (and does offer support), but it can also hinder progress.
16yrs ago I stepped out of my comfort zone and bailed out of a career of 13yrs that I was super cozy in. Good money, but was burned out and some other factors made me walk away. I decided to buy a franchise and give it my 100%. Well, the first 3 years I busted my ass only to barely make bills, and sometimes didn't. Went to work banging nails and doing odd jobs when I didn't have customers to see for my business. Spent hours a day hanging flyers on doors. As the owner of a business this was humbling, it sucked, and was totally not what I signed up for. and I was ready to suck it up and toss in the towel. Sell my franchise and go back to what I had done for 13yrs On year 3 I went to a Zig Ziggler seminar and it sank in. No shit. A motivational speaker actually said something that hit me in the side of the head and I buckled down and busted even more ass. What he said was " THERE IS NO BETTER MOTIVATOR THAN THE FEAR OF FAILURE". I simply could not fail. . I kept up with the door hanging and whatever I had to do to get the phone to ring. It worked.
Well, it's been 14 years since that day and I am doing great.
Moral of the story. Do what you have to do to succeed, and even then some. Stick it out while doing ass busting stuff you don't want to do because bringing money is is bringing money in.
I wish you and your family the very best as this is a real hard time.
Martinjmpr
02-06-2020, 13:41
Another note by the way: There's a lot of truth in the adage don't make your hobby your profession - it will quickly cease to be your hobby ever again.
I've heard it put more flippantly: Once it becomes your job, you will hate doing it, so make sure to find something you ALREADY hate doing.
Not really true, of course. I don't hate my job but if I won the lottery tomorrow I'd run out of there so quickly I'd leave a hole in the air.
jenznat0r
02-06-2020, 15:40
Thanks everyone. Just going through a rough spot. I guess I don’t have a lot of people out this way I can talk to. Just felt like some people on here helped me when I was struggling before.
Happy wife, happy life...Employment opportunities are huge in Metro Denver area. Everyone that wants a job has one. 2nd A could be better, but ammo is cheap, I shoot when I want, life is good. PS...I still don't have my college degree...never needed it in the tech industry.
colorider
02-06-2020, 16:13
Happy wife, happy life isn't always true. A lot of times happy wife= the rest of the family is completely miserable. Tricky situation.
Go where $ , career, edumacation (if you are trying to do kaw school as you previously mentioned) or comfortable.
My wife feels VERY VERY COMFORTABLE AT Bel Air and North Beverly Hills too. She missed CA but I ain't moving to any west LA , b hills or Westwood area.
We quickly learned that living in place she liked during 20s isn't similar as living in same place at a different time of life.
Btw bel air and north bhilll was just sarcasm. :)
Side note: Colorado and many other states don't regulate paralegals at all. There's no actual process here - a degree might help get hired, but there's no requirement nor process nor formal recognition of official degrees. You could be a paralegal off anything else too. Also an attorney (JD) just requires a bachelors in any field to enter an ABA accredited school... most are not related to the legal profession at all.
Martinjmpr
02-06-2020, 20:23
Happy wife, happy life...Employment opportunities are huge in Metro Denver area. Everyone that wants a job has one. 2nd A could be better, but ammo is cheap, I shoot when I want, life is good. PS...I still don't have my college degree...never needed it in the tech industry.
Did you miss the part where he's got two kids and no real safety net or support system here in CO other than an already overcrowded family member's home?
Here's the harsh truth:
A single guy has the luxury of rolling the dice. Crash on somebody's couch, find a decent apartment in a crappy part of town for cheap, live in a van down by the river, etc (when I first got off active duty in 96 I lived in a rough neighborhood in Charlotte NC. Everyone in my apartment complex assumed I was a cop because I wore my hair short and I was the only white guy there. Nobody ever hassled me.)
But a married guy with two small kids and not much in the way of marketable skills is not in the same situation as a single guy. Not even close. His options are much more limited. He can't risk a home situation where his "host" might "un-invite" him at any minute. He can't live in a place where his wife and kids' safety is in question.
So to the OP, you have to play it smart. Don't make a major move until you've figured everything out. And until you do, if you're in a safe, stable place, you should probably stay there until you're ready - really ready - to make your move.
Rent in Deer Trail will be cheaper than Denver, but probably still not as cheap as out there. Houses in my neighborhood for say 3 bed 1 bath are still something like $1,200-$1,400. Good luck.
Happy wife, happy life isn't always true. A lot of times happy wife= the rest of the family is completely miserable. Tricky situation.
True dat.
Extremely unhappy wife with attitude= new wife*
* only applies when we have little to no wealth like me.
[LOL]
Kids also complicate that equation.
jenznat0r
02-08-2020, 12:34
I took the sense of everyone on here and realized I have no fallback plan to move to Colorado. I sat my wife down and told her pretty much what everyone more or less said on here about it being a bad idea without any logistical reinforcement. Emotions aside she agreed. Have I totally given up on the idea? No, but not without a massive bulletproof plan to move with jobs/apprenticeship/trade school in line. I've considered finding out more about the CO School of Trades in Lakewood, if that route takes us there. My wife wants to visit her family this May when school gets out for me for the semester for a week or two, might not hurt to just feel out my options when I am physically there. We shall see. I love it here, and my wife even admitted was have some autonomy out this way. But it's just a tough time for us right now all in all.
My gut feeling is staying with her family in that cramped house for one or two weeks is going to make her miss our current living arrangement in Idaho.
I know I'm smart. School has taught me if I could take away anything from it how to read, write, communicate professionally, and think better (and use the Oxford comma). It's not like I'm not doing my homework, going to classes and committing to the work, etc. But the format of traditional school has been a mixed bag for me trying to get the grades and taking tests. I've learned more from someone showing me how to do something one-on-one, versus sitting in a class/listening to a Professor/reading a textbook. When I first started school I was actually going to a community college trying to become an automotive mechanic. I loved it. But my parents said that was a flunky career, and the pressure from them made me switch from a hands-on career to a more academic one I've honestly hated to this day. I love using my mind, but I honestly get more reward from working with my hands.
Great-Kazoo
02-08-2020, 19:44
Why look in to the school of trades, when you haven't finished any other schooling you've started ?
Ok. Since I was sort of a dick in your other thread, guess I?ll keep that trend going.
I commented that at your age and having a family that you should probably be working full time and hopefully beginning your career. Some people thought I was wrong or that my thinking was harsh but I?m sticking to my guns.
So, regardless of where you and the Mrs. choose to live, my advice remains the same.
Either get through that education and get to work or just get to work and wait on the education until you reach a point in your life where it makes more sense.
In a nutshell, it?s time to shit or get off the pot.
I do wish you all the best.
I don't think you're being an ass. More speaking truth. School does NOT teach you how to make money, or how to be an adult. It teaches you how to be a corporate employee. If the model doesn't work for you, quit wasting your time, and your wife's income, to get the same result you have now. Also, don't ask for advice if you aren't prepared to take it.
^
I think of it this way.
School teaches how to use more tools, and produce more efficiently. They also bring in more opportunities by recognizing the potential much in dept and faster.
Corporate at least taught me ideas and explore the market (some says niche mkt) to make money by having a little possible business ideas.
We can get philosophical and debate the value of school ad infinitum, but it won't change the reality of the rules our society exists within. If you want to be upper-middle class, you either need a degree - not because of the education it provides, but because of the "minimum requirements" of every such job - or you need to be licensed in a trade.
Trades are often very hard work, there are few people that enjoy their work, even if they thought they might going in.
The "degree" work is often also despised, but certain careers aren't, and can still entertain a lot of outdoor work.
"degree" option also opens pathways to government employment, pensions after 20-30 years, six figure salaries, etc. IF YOU CHOOSE AN APPROPRIATE DEGREE.
Trades can occasionally earn high five figures towards the peak of their career, but by far and large they fall in the middle of the spectrum.
Not choosing either leads to an almost certain lower to middle class income level until retirement, with no real way to break out.
Usually it's degree or relevant experience. If you've demonstrated that you can do the job, I think it's a better determination of ability than if you got a piece of paper from academia.
Usually it's degree or relevant experience. If you've demonstrated that you can do the job, I think it's a better determination of ability than if you got a piece of paper from academia.
That was true until perhaps 2005. However, we have a reality where every decent job ($60,000+) has several applicants, and some of them always meet the minimum requirements (e.g. they have a bachelors, and any field related certs on top of it)...and have work experience on top of it. So while yes, many jobs list that way, in reality your chances of getting hired solely on "relevant experience" is incredibly low, with very rare exceptions for certain incredibly understaffed, in-demand careers. On top of it, if you did happen to get hired, they know they can do so at a severe discount because your options of lateral movement are limited. The pragmatic reality is your new job will be sending applications to hordes of companies and never hearing back w/ no income.
TLDR: There are far too many people with degrees in 98% of professions that normally require them for you to have any chance at competing on "relevant experience". Even if you did, you'd be forced to accept a lot lower, less-than-competitive pay after spending god-awful amounts of time job hunting.
cableguy11
02-08-2020, 23:47
Ok. Since I was sort of a dick in your other thread, guess I?ll keep that trend going.
I commented that at your age and having a family that you should probably be working full time and hopefully beginning your career. Some people thought I was wrong or that my thinking was harsh but I?m sticking to my guns.
So, regardless of where you and the Mrs. choose to live, my advice remains the same.
Either get through that education and get to work or just get to work and wait on the education until you reach a point in your life where it makes more sense.
In a nutshell, it?s time to shit or get off the pot.
I do wish you all the best.
I agree 100%.
Speaking of "relevant experience." There are some MD f-tards with relevant experience who try to think they have PhD , and trying to know the R&D crap. Just stfu and prescribe a Oseltamivir or picovir*
:D
Speaking of "relevant experience." There are some MD f-tards with relevant experience who try to think they have PhD , and trying to know the R&D crap. Just stfu and prescribe a Oseltamivir or picovir*
:D
*The preceeding post does not constitute medical advice. To receive medical advice, you must hire a licensed doctor. (Self joke)
I'm going to have to hire a doctor just to understand that post. [ROFL1]
jenznat0r
02-09-2020, 00:22
I get people are being harsh on me, and by all means I get why. I probably look like a total bum to all of you, but you'd have to see me IRL to see how hard I am literally trying at this life of mine. My life really didn't start until I was 27. A long time before that I honestly did the bare minimum to get by (please don't ask me why, just accept it). But something inside of me hit rock bottom and wanted to give life a try. Then I went onto University and met my wife who took a gamble on me that I'd be a good fit. No regrets 4 years later, just trying to iron out the bugs of life. Now I am trying to get my life into gear at 32 where most 20 or 21 year olds start out. It's not easy, but it's where I am at.
About my only hobby outside of school and family life are firearms/shooting at my local gun club on the weekends. I guess it's how we came to this crossroads about where I'm at in life and on this forum.
I didn't start my "real" bachelor's until 33, btw. That's still 32 years to retirement. I wouldn't say I had a late start, I was trying the "make it via hard work and business ownership" since 18. After years of 80 hour weeks, I found full time "corporate" work to be...oh so so much easier and better paid. I did both for many years. Relevant experience is a joke... Can't climb these ladders that way anymore. Also FYL for anyone trying small business ownership. Highest risk investment you could make.
*The preceeding post does not constitute medical advice. To receive medical advice, you must hire a licensed doctor. (Self joke)
I'm going to have to hire a doctor just to understand that post. [ROFL1]
Sadly there are 3 physicians who advertise in a foreign language newspaper as MD PhD in LA and Orange County (not necessary PhD on it, but write doctoral in foreign language). Sad that they have to bs themselves to make money. I know those 3 didnt go through mstp.
I get people are being harsh on me, and by all means I get why. My life really didn't start until I was 27. A long time before that I honestly did the bare minimum to get by (please don't ask me why, just accept it). Then I went onto University and met my wife who took a gamble on me that I'd be a good fit. No regrets 4 years later, just trying to iron out the bugs of life. Now I am trying to get my life into gear at 32 where most 20 or 21 year olds start out. It's not easy, but it's where I am at.
I am in 40s and my wife really invested her life to me. It was like investing in pink slip (penny stock) risky. 14 years later, it still did not pay off.
She invested her life and I dont like to disappoint my investor. If there is no significant returns, at least please your investors with some small dividends. :)
jenznat0r
02-09-2020, 00:38
I get opportunities are limited without a degree. I want a degree so badly. I came from a white collar family and there is so much pressure from my family NOT to fail. My wife is a little more easygoing, but wants a final result somehow. A degree seems about as far away as a "mystical unicorn" at this point. Compounded with the fact that as a male in America, I have a desperate desire to adequately provide for my small family. It doesn't have to be 6 figures, but enough to pay the bills, have a roof over our head and have a little excess (lower to upper middle class). Please don't get me wrong. I go to class, I do the homework, I go to office hours, and talk to my Professors. But when it comes down to brass tax I'm struggling to keep up with my peers and get the grades I need to graduate. Where it's going to so wrong, I wish I knew.
All in all? I'm just a 32 year old guy that loves the 2nd amendment, firearms, shooting, and anything about that subject in between. My wife calls me the "nerdy guy that doesn't fit in a box". I like watching Star Trek, cosplay, Dungeons and Dragons...and firearms (weird mix, I get it but those are my interests). Hence the avatar of Boris from Goldeneye.
Just maybe where I am lacking is some stability and I'm just trying to find my way in life. Emphasis on the "trying to find my way" part.
Has your degree program been in a physical university/college or self studied online? If one doesn't work, try the other. I still recommend WGU for value if you want a high paying IT job. Regionally accredited, so you can transfer any "real" college". Non profit so...you probably could pay for it off Pell grants practically free, if I'm guessing your income situation. APU/AMU are other regionally accredited options, but tbh, I think WGU is both a better program and value in it's field.
Btw: I cannot do a physical university. Everyone is different, some can't do the other way. Problem for me is I'm too time efficient to learn at someone else's slower pace. That also means my bachelor's didn't exactly take 4 years to earn ;)
jenznat0r
02-09-2020, 00:53
Has your degree program been in a physical university/college or self studied online? If one doesn't work, try the other. I still recommend WGU for value if you want a high paying IT job. Regionally accredited, so you can transfer any "real" college". Non profit so...you probably could pay for it off Pell grants practically free, if I'm guessing your income situation. APU/AMU are other regionally accredited options, but tbh, I think WGU is both a better program and value in it's field.
Btw: I cannot do a physical university. Everyone is different, some can't do the other way. Problem for me is I'm too time efficient to learn at someone else's slower pace. That also means my bachelor's didn't exactly take 4 years to earn ;)
I'm studying at a traditional State University. And the traditional university format isn't working out for me at all. I like learning, but not really in the format a " physically going to class/homework" University has to offer.
Just an update, Colorado is still a remote, remote possibility. I like it here, but perhaps maybe for the wrong reasons (free state, great gun laws, no red flag laws, etc.). Sometimes I feel like my firearms ownership is keeping me here and that's about it. Like if that was totally out of the picture and off the table, maybe I'd be more open to being more flexible about going somewhere else. Maybe I need to truly journal why I want to stay in Idaho or if I want to keep my family here. Same for my wife, see what we come up with. I guess we keep going back to the fact that opportunities are less in this state because the cold, hard fact is the state has less than 2 million people in a mostly rural populated area. We keep coming back to Colorado because...just more people and more stuff. Rent is a LOT, LOT higher in CO, I get it. I lived there from 2016-2017, I remember it very well. But EVEN if I were to stay in school here and pick up a part-time job, jobs here part time pay 9 bucks an hour at best. Cost of living is DEFINITELY way lower, but IDK. I feel like CO cost-of-living proportional to ID cost of living weighs about the same when you factor out wages and rent. A GOOD full time entry level job I was offered in a interview here with some of the experience I had was 10.
The populated areas here are Boise/Pocatello/Idaho Falls and that's it. The rest is basically unpopulated. Boise has a population of 225k last I checked. Pocatello is the second largest at about 55k (where I live), Idaho Falls 48k. My wife and I talked some more on a long drive home in rural Idaho from somewhere (you do lots of driving here from one part of the middle of nowhere to another). But NOT without a safety net or a huge, laid out plan. I refuse to do it unless it makes absolute perfect sense. Until then we stay. I even suggested to my wife that if school isn't working out maybe I could try and move ahead to find a job and have some stability set up somewhat so that way even if we had to stay with her family for awhile, there's a job and some income coming in versus just totally going at it into the blind and hoping for the best.
Some of you may also wonder why I am so hellbent on Colorado, versus staying or somewhere else. I'm originally from Southern California, but there's no way I'd ever live there ever again. My mom (parents are divorced) offered if school was going rough I could move back with my family and there'd be a place for us and I could set up shop there, but I'd have to give up everything I own just to live there again. That and my wife's family are a lot more supportive than my immediate family. No thanks. In-laws in Colorado are offering something very similar but it's, well, in Colorado.
Sorry for the long post, I get this is the internet and not a counseling session. But I do believe when in doubt, it doesn't hurt to ask others for advice/counsel who might have a different perspective than you.
I remember you goto religious backed univ in idaho (no brainer to know which school it is ). I know how low the tuition it is. I think just for that reason, I would quickly finish your under/grad school. Then I would worry about moving to CO or NYC as chartered [securities] analysts and make 500k.
Last time I checked, they had 1990s' tuition rate. WOW! :D
Update. I definitely think you should not move to Colorado.
This is based solely off the fact that you are from California.
We have a few too many here already.
(Mostly kidding. Besides, I?m a transplant myself. Not California though.)
kidicarus13
02-09-2020, 09:29
Take anything gun related off of your list of considerations completely, because it doesn't matter even a little bit. Every single aspect of what you are dealing with is more important than anything gun related. Cut the guns out of the conversation and reevaluate.
Great-Kazoo
02-09-2020, 09:38
I get opportunities are limited without a degree. I want a degree so badly. I came from a white collar family and there is so much pressure from my family NOT to fail. My wife is a little more easygoing, but wants a final result somehow. A degree seems about as far away as a "mystical unicorn" at this point. Compounded with the fact that as a male in America, I have a desperate desire to adequately provide for my small family. It doesn't have to be 6 figures, but enough to pay the bills, have a roof over our head and have a little excess (lower to upper middle class). Please don't get me wrong. I go to class, I do the homework, I go to office hours, and talk to my Professors. But when it comes down to brass tax I'm struggling to keep up with my peers and get the grades I need to graduate. Where it's going to so wrong, I wish I knew.
All in all? I'm just a 32 year old guy that loves the 2nd amendment, firearms, shooting, and anything about that subject in between. My wife calls me the "nerdy guy that doesn't fit in a box". I like watching Star Trek, cosplay, Dungeons and Dragons...and firearms (weird mix, I get it but those are my interests). Hence the avatar of Boris from Goldeneye.
Just maybe where I am lacking is some stability and I'm just trying to find my way in life. Emphasis on the "trying to find my way" part.
You want to make money and have a chance to advance? Learn a trade. There's few people actually wanting to get their hands dirty as well as do physical work.
Even down here they have a hard time finding people who have a clue when it comes to say basic plumbing, or driving a truck.
Hell even the fast food places pay $12.50-$15 to start.
Yeah.. if in-house doesn't work, maybe consider the online (regionally accredited) route. Tuition is between $3,000 - $4,000 a semester for WGU *but* to really make it cheap you can pack as much as you want into a single semester - which can be motivating to some people. There is only objective assessments (multiple choice) to finish a class required, and the occasional performance, e.g. paper to finish select classes. If you already know the material you could skip right to the objective assessment.
ETA/side note:
A reality on firearms for 90% of people are they matter far, far less as you get older, btw. I wouldn't base life decisions around it. With a few exceptions, most guys who shot every weekend in their 20's once they become deeply embedded career parents (and older) might shoot once a year, at best. Just a part of natural course of life that rearranges priorities.
ETA/side note:
A reality on firearms for 90% of people are they matter far, far less as you get older, btw. I wouldn't base life decisions around it. With a few exceptions, most guys who shot every weekend in their 20's once they become deeply embedded career parents (and older) might shoot once a year, at best. Just a part of natural course of life that rearranges priorities.
Yep. In my 20's I used to shoot a lot. Usually two days during the week after work were range trips and just about every weekend was some sort of competition. The weekends without competitions were usually more practice time or maybe a gunshow.
Once the kids came my free time drastically reduced and I started shooting less and less. I actually took a hiatus from shooting altogether for about a ten year stretch. It wasn't until the kids were pretty much out of high school that I started enjoying my hobbies again.
Nowadays, having multiple hobbies to occupy my time, I probably make it out to the range maybe three or four times.
I've never made any serious life decisions based off of anything related to my hobbies.
ChickNorris
02-09-2020, 11:35
..
Martinjmpr
02-09-2020, 11:55
WRT the college degree, the value of the degree is that with so many people already having 4 year degrees, having that sheepskin can often mean the difference between a resume that gets looked at and one that goes into the trash.
A harsh reality, but a reality nevertheless.
spqrzilla
02-09-2020, 14:45
There are a lot of college degrees that don't return their cost. It's possible to make good money without a degree. It takes an entrepreneurial mindset.
There are a lot of college degrees that don't return their cost. It's possible to make good money without a degree. It takes an entrepreneurial mindset.
Possible, yes. But fraught with risk.
STEM degree, IT degree, or certain medical = guaranteed ROI as long as you stay in the field.
Entrepreneur: For every 1 minor success, there's 19 failures, and most of them are not from mindset. For every 1 amazing success, there's probably 1000 failures. Regulatory and tax burden alone +being out-competed by economies of scale will ultimately destroy 9 out of 10 businesses, even when investing 80 hours a week of effort - it's a matter of time, in most cases. [for the record, I lump permanently struggling businesses into the "fail" category, since barely-scraping-by at less than minimum wage for 15 years is not a success]
There are a lot of college degrees that don't return their cost. It's possible to make good money without a degree. It takes an entrepreneurial mindset.
Yep, I can name three jobs right now where you can make $100k+ in the first year with no degree and little to moderate training. There are no benefits, no raises, and no movement beyond striking out on your own to start a business. Cut that down to $50-$60 k and you wouldn't have to travel and could still do some sort of education on the side at the same time.
..
What does killing sea turtles with plastic assault straws have to do with this?
jenznat0r
02-09-2020, 16:31
Yep, I can name three jobs right now where you can make $100k+ in the first year with no degree and little to moderate training. There are no benefits, no raises, and no movement beyond striking out on your own to start a business. Cut that down to $50-$60 k and you wouldn't have to travel and could still do some sort of education on the side at the same time.
I'd be interested to know more if you'd be willing to share. It's genuinely looking like I might possibly move, but not without a plan like I mentioned. I need to do my research and this would be helpful.
cableguy11
02-09-2020, 16:41
Career with no degree, get in the Electric/Gas Industry...People always need power! It has served me very very well! You could start as a utility worker and move your way up very quickly.
You can go work for a roofing company and go sell roofs. They might have you start as a door knocker at first, but once you start selling roofs, it shouldn't be too difficult to make at least $50,000 in a summer. Count on NO money during the winter though, which means you need to budget like an adult with a family that depends on you.
ChickNorris
02-09-2020, 17:15
What does killing sea turtles with plastic assault straws have to do with this?
Sitfu.
spqrzilla
02-09-2020, 18:22
Sitfu.
Was not Chiun the last Master of Sitfu?
I love no degree business. Less capitals, less labor, and easier to run it. UNTIL every DAMN PERSON will find the same or niche and do the same crap and eat most of my market shares.
Those jobs or business requires constant hussle.
I know a turd who owns defense laser and optical company. They have to hire like 30-35 experimental/solid state/plasma physicist and pay $$$$$$ labor cost. Those equipment costs are stupid and can't even flip many of them after being obsolete.
Shitty profit margin after heavy amount of edu, but not many clowns will try to get into the market.
Yep, I can name three jobs right now where you can make $100k+ in the first year with no degree and little to moderate training. There are no benefits, no raises, and no movement beyond striking out on your own to start a business. Cut that down to $50-$60 k and you wouldn't have to travel and could still do some sort of education on the side at the same time.
Might be very interested myself and enroll full time as a student to finish whstever I wanna study in 4 to 4.5 years.
First off I would like to say that you're all over the place aren't you? I can relate I'm there in life as well but you have kids so you're situation is a bit harder. The way I see it is you need to do whatever you can to provide for your family, that what a man's duty in life is. Sell roofs, fry hamburgers, sell nudie pics but thats your duty.
I will say that small business is hard as hell (rewarding when the right moves are made) but if you have a desire for something then do it. Firearms are a great expensive hobby but making money in them is not going to happen, the margins for firearms is too small and you make most of your money in accessories. When you start a business the best plan is to find something with very low overhead and little startup money. The Colorado School of trades is a waste IMHO (yea did that too), if you want a real gun smithing education go to Trinidad and also take some machining classes. 20k at CST for a job starting at $20 and hour (at best) doesn't make sense.
Most people try to find something they love that they can do for a living, the people who actually do that has got to be less than 5% IMHO. My advice is instead of chasing your tail doing that (or wasting time on trying to figure that out) is to look long term. What is it that you can stand to do the others dont like to do that you can make money at.
When i was 19 i started a painting company with a buddy. Took about $3k for insurance and tooling and we were off and running. That low overhead made us about a 1000% return in 5 years (estimated). I left the company after 8 years because i was stupid and my partner at the time didn't want to reinvest and expand. In hindsight i should have done it myself but i figured I could find the holy grail and do something i loved for a living......wrong move mazin. Self employment can be rewarding but you will work harder than anyone else plain and simple.
Education is great as long as you dont get hosed by financial debt in the process. Sounds like you went back to school because you thought thats what you were supposed to do, been there and done that myself, wrong move. You need to work and gain experinces to determine what you can stand to do for 20-30 years and then......RETIRE. Retirement is the ultimate goal that few achieve anymore. Now i will say that if you want to get your degree thats fine just finish what you start, people in this life are never graded on what they CAN achieve, you are graded on what you DO achieve.
WGU is a good alternative to traditional college and a hell of a lot CHEAPER! Depending on what you want to do you can get your BA/BS less than 20k easy, btw thats what i owe for my wifes AS thats barely a resume mention anymore because it was an un accredited institution that went out of business. WGU is non profit and Accredited as well. You have to teach yourself pretty much but they have a pretty good intro workshops to tech you how to learn online, I reccomend using the Pomodoro technique for studying, its really helped me out addressing some of my attention span issues.
Whatever you do you have to make providing for your family you're number one prority, so figure out how you can do that for the long haul amd also provide yourself a retirement. Forget buying the latest gun, phone, car, house and trying to keep up with the Jones'. This world is easy to get caught up in with the fun material things that most will finance themselves to the hilt for but at the end of the day the old addage of "you can't take it with you" stands very true and working till you drop to keep up with having the newest everything is BS.
GL and welcome to being an adult Man, kinda sucks sometimes but these are the cards you have been dealt so play you hand too the best of your ability.
thedave1164
02-10-2020, 08:19
Just saw this, My wife was born and raised in Reno, NV she never lived anywhere else until we married.
2 years after we married, we moved across country so I could advance out of the rut I was in job wise, I made her a commitment that I would do what I could to insure she could go back to Reno every summer when it was possible financially.
I have managed to have a very good track record for this and for the past 20 years she has pretty much been back to Reno at least once every year, maybe missed one or two, and has been there more than once a couple of years. She usually goes for 3-6 weeks, lately she is ready to come home after 2 weeks.
She no longer wants to move back there, it took a while but our lives have gone a different direction than her family, who are all still in Reno. Her nephew and his wife moved out here for her to attend law school at CU Boulder, they also go back to Reno to visit, but they have no plans to ever move back even though both of their families are back there.
My commitment to get my wife back every year to see her folks has made a real difference.
Address your wifes need to stay connected with family.
Pretty much if you don't have a solid plan with school, drop it, do not waste your time or money. they will suck you dry and do not care about results.
Lots of people on this forum that have made good without a formal degree, and some of us have started over more than once.
Great-Kazoo
02-10-2020, 10:02
Lots of people on this forum that have made good without a formal degree, and some of us have started over more than once.
How true. The spouse has said on more than 1 occasion. It's not the first time we're starting out with nothing. it's not the last time either.
Food on the table, roof over your head and everything else is just something one needs to go for.
After moving to CO in the early 80's i was between jobs, in year 3 here. Started delivering newspapers, just to have some money coming in. Also got a pt day job shagging cars for a rental co. While my new occupation started up.
While "that" job may not be available, a pay check's a pay check.
jenznat0r
02-10-2020, 10:58
I appreciate everyone's feedback. I know I am doing a flip on what I originally said, but it's looking like we might move after talking and sitting down with my wife even more. Deep down she wants some family support and she's gone downhill since we moved out here emotionally. It's destroying her inside without that. The physical move wouldn't happen until May when our lease ends up here in Idaho.
I think for now I am putting school to bed as I have no real plan or exit strategy and I'm floundering. The hardest thing I'm ever going to have to do on our marriage is leave my family to move ahead and look for work and temporarily live with my in-laws. She's going to be alone for almost 2 1/2 months until I stabilize things out there with some income and a place to live, as I mentioned "hoping for the best and moving" isn't going to work. She's supportive of the idea, but my wife and kids are what keep me going. Not seeing them for 2 1/2 months would be really hard. Necessary, but hard.
Man, I was really starting to like it here too. But as mentioned, probably for all the wrong reasons.
This is not a jobs issue. This is a decisions and effort issue.
Great-Kazoo
02-10-2020, 13:22
Of course, it's a job issue. It's also a firearms issue and a marriage issue. The efforts and decisions one makes on each of these issues affect the other. We are living in a booming economy and if anyone is struggling under these circumstances, then that is hard to understand why.
Because they're unable to apply them self to get ahead. You see all those freeloaders with PLEASE HELP etc signs. hand them a job application and see what happens.
Because they're unable to apply them self to get ahead. You see all those freeloaders with PLEASE HELP etc signs. hand them a job application and see what happens.
^ this [Beer]
Dlesh123
02-10-2020, 23:25
To the OP, have you ever considered taking an aptitude test? It may help you identify some things you would be good at. For me it came up with a couple of careers, of course I chose the one that everyone said wouldn’t work. The field is so diverse that there were lots of ways to go. 4 of the places I worked at went bankrupt, the last one I have been at for 22 years, It paid the bills, and retirement is going to be ok. Everybody has to find their own path, but you have to actively be looking for it. I also hated the fact that having a degree was a hiring gate, regardless of whether it had anything to do with your job, but that is the way it is and it was the same 40 yrs ago.
I appreciate everyone's feedback. I know I am doing a flip on what I originally said, but it's looking like we might move after talking and sitting down with my wife even more. Deep down she wants some family support and she's gone downhill since we moved out here emotionally. It's destroying her inside without that. The physical move wouldn't happen until May when our lease ends up here in Idaho.
I think for now I am putting school to bed as I have no real plan or exit strategy and I'm floundering. The hardest thing I'm ever going to have to do on our marriage is leave my family to move ahead and look for work and temporarily live with my in-laws. She's going to be alone for almost 2 1/2 months until I stabilize things out there with some income and a place to live, as I mentioned "hoping for the best and moving" isn't going to work. She's supportive of the idea, but my wife and kids are what keep me going. Not seeing them for 2 1/2 months would be really hard. Necessary, but hard.
Man, I was really starting to like it here too. But as mentioned, probably for all the wrong reasons.
Keep doing in depth conversations with your spouse and continue having flexibility and consider all options. If for no other reason that it'll help bring more depth into your marriage making a habit of it. Not knowing her and knowing only half of the sides, every piece of advice here will be flawed. There's also the distinct possibility that even the 2 1/2 month in advance thing is a bad-bad idea (depends on the people, that by itself destroys some marriages), but without knowing both sides or even either person, it's not my place or any others to estimate. If you know unbiased third parties that know you both, maybe seek their input. Btw: I suspect Glorida's post needs a sarcasm sign for proper effect.
Basically, something you never want to do is drastic changes to fix an already doomed relationship. People often try moving or having another kid or whatever, but the added stress doesn't fix things - if you have problems between the two of you, make sure you improve the relationship first, fix the cracks, THEN do the big changes. Not saying that's an issue, because I don't know either one of you, just saying it in case.
jenznat0r
02-11-2020, 09:32
FYI, I've already started applying for jobs out there remotely. One has great pay and possible benefits. Hope I even have a remote chance of getting it.
It's been awhile since I've worked as I've done the full-time student thing for a couple years now and lived off loans and some side jobs. Do you apply for a bunch of places at once, or do you just pick a few good places and wait to hear back? Because I am not out there yet it is difficult to follow up.
Shotgun it. You’re probably looking at 2 weeks to even hear from them and then a few weeks of decision making. A lot of places won’t even give the courtesy of a rejection. Keep a spreadsheet of: location, company, link to job ad, link to career portal to check status.
Since being laid off, I’ve applied to like 19 places. In the past month I’ve had three phone screens, 4 rejections (6 if you count the 3 from Raytheon alone), and heard nothing on the others. I’m qualified for every position and haven’t overshot.
ETA: you might consider having someone competent look at your resume if you haven’t already. Like all writing, it’s best not to edit it yourself.
jenznat0r
02-11-2020, 10:25
To the OP, have you ever considered taking an aptitude test? It may help you identify some things you would be good at. For me it came up with a couple of careers, of course I chose the one that everyone said wouldn?t work. The field is so diverse that there were lots of ways to go. 4 of the places I worked at went bankrupt, the last one I have been at for 22 years, It paid the bills, and retirement is going to be ok. Everybody has to find their own path, but you have to actively be looking for it. I also hated the fact that having a degree was a hiring gate, regardless of whether it had anything to do with your job, but that is the way it is and it was the same 40 yrs ago.
To Be Honest? I have a lot of "unrefined/raw" talents and I have zero idea where to even start applying, or for what. Taking a test might not be a bad idea. School did teach me how to read, think, and write more professionally in the workplace. At the end of the day, I'd like to pay my bills, maybe somewhat enjoy going to work (feel like I'm contributing to society) and have enough to live maybe not wealthily but comfortably. Not trying to be too candid here, but to just stay above water, I need to make right now at least 35-36k a year to pay my bills and support my family (calculated). I've given up the idea I'm probably going to make well over 6 figures in this life. But if I could make at least 48-50k in the long term, I'd be happy and consider myself a success. I've given up that I need a Lexus in the garage or a huge house. But an "adequate" home would be just fine. Money for hobbies and maybe a vacation every year would be a plus too.
Even though for now I didn't finish school, school did teach me a lot. I have 3 years of accumulated credits under my belt from the last 10 years of being in and out of school, and that's got to account for something.
Shoot...Amazon pays that much. 35K per year is only 17.50/hr
You can make $35k delivering pizza. Don't be afraid to aim higher.
jenznat0r
02-11-2020, 11:03
You can make $35k delivering pizza. Don't be afraid to aim higher.
Oh, I definitely plan to. Just saying at the bare minimum for now that's what I need just to keep our standard of living at the same level. That's accounting for our current setup in Idaho, however. It'd probably have to be even higher for Colorado. If I could find a job that would pay 18-20 an hour starting out with benefits, I'd be happy as a clam for the time being.
If anything? College taught me to live and survive on less. Aside from my firearms hobby, I've mostly lived within my means.
hurley842002
02-11-2020, 11:25
Oh, I definitely plan to. Just saying at the bare minimum for now that's what I need just to keep our standard of living at the same level. That's accounting for our current setup in Idaho, however. It'd probably have to be even higher for Colorado. If I could find a job that would pay 18-20 an hour starting out with benefits, I'd be happy as a clam for the time being.
If anything? College taught me to live and survive on less. Aside from my firearms hobby, I've mostly lived within my means.
Not a good idea to calculate the bare minimum needed to survive in Idaho and translate that into survivability in Colorado, especially Denver Metro. I wish you luck, but it still doesn't sound like you have a solid plan lined up.
As harsh as this may sound, I would have never considered starting a family until I had a solid career underway with good benefits, which is why I was nearly 30 before having my first kid, and that was 8 years into my career. I cannot fathom trying to support my family as a career student. Again I wish you luck.
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jenznat0r
02-11-2020, 11:35
Not a good idea to calculate the bare minimum needed to survive in Idaho and translate that into survivability in Colorado, especially Denver Metro. I wish you luck, but it still doesn't sound like you have a solid plan lined up.
As harsh as this may sound, I would have never considered starting a family until I had a solid career underway with good benefits, which is why I was nearly 30 before having my first kid, and that was 8 years into my career. I cannot fathom trying to support my family as a career student. Again I wish you luck.
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Not everyone has that luxury.
ChickNorris
02-11-2020, 12:07
Uffda. All that nonsense earlier about firearms...
your CHILDREN ARE YOUR HOBBY now
your CHILDREN ARE YOUR REASON now
ChickNorris
02-11-2020, 12:16
Luxury?!
Is this the headspace in which you really live?
hurley842002
02-11-2020, 12:25
Not everyone has that luxury.
It's not a luxury it's a choice, I've had no luxuries in life, only choices, some good and some bad, but at the end of the day, my family has been taken care of, and guess what, I have no education outside of a high school diploma.
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We're getting into some real Dr. Laura type advice here (i.e. not advice at all, just brow beating).
hurley842002
02-11-2020, 12:32
This is not a jobs issue. This is a decisions and effort issue.
We're getting into some real Dr. Laura type advice here (i.e. not advice at all, just brow beating).
It's only okay when you do it?
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No, and when/if I do, I feel like I'm also called out on it, which is also okay.
My point is, the guy already has kids. What value is there in telling him he shouldn't have had kids yet?
Martinjmpr
02-11-2020, 12:54
No, and when/if I do, I feel like I'm also called out on it, which is also okay.
My point is, the guy already has kids. What value is there in telling him he shouldn't have had kids yet?
Exactly. To paraphrase the old Donald Rumsfeld comment, you have to deal with the situation you're in, not the situation you wish you were in, or the situation you could have been in if you'd done x, y and z.
But I'll also agree with Chick Norris. Forget about guns and gun laws. Really, for someone in your situation, that shouldn't even be a consideration. You have a family to support and that should be your first, last and only priority. Period.
If you have to move to a state that hates guns and get a job driving a garbage truck in order to support your family, do it. Figure out the gun thing later, when you're in a financial position to do so.
While I?m sure my career has been partial luck on my part, I like to think that having a good work ethic and a willingness to learn has gotten me where I am today.
While I can?t say I?ve ever been overly excited about any job I?ve had, I?ve never been somewhere where I didn?t like the work I do or the people I?m around.
At this point of the game it?s the little perks that keep me going.... four day work weeks, very little travel, no call outs, seven weeks of vacation, a company vehicle, and a paycheck that I feel is more than fair for what I do.
Best wishes to the OP for everything working out in the end.
jenznat0r
02-11-2020, 20:36
Just an update. I haven't even left the state and I've already heard back about a job I applied for last night, and it's a job that could lead to a great entry-level career out in Colorado. Not getting my hopes up yet as there are some phases to the hiring process, but if I could land it it would be great. Keep me in your thoughts.
You can say one thing about me. I may struggle to find my way in life. But I don't let my circumstances define me for very long. I usually show action and do something about it for the most part. And I do very well get my family and children are my number one priority right now.
I'll keep everyone updated.
hurley842002
02-11-2020, 20:48
Just an update. I haven't even left the state and I've already heard back about a job I applied for last night, and it's a job that could lead to a great entry-level career out in Colorado. Not getting my hopes up yet as there are some phases to the hiring process, but if I could land it it would be great. Keep me in your thoughts.
You can say one thing about me. I may struggle to find my way in life. But I don't let my circumstances define me for very long. I usually show action and do something about it for the most part. And I do very well get my family and children are my number one priority right now.
I'll keep everyone updated.
Good luck with the job, I'll cross my fingers for you.
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I have a question for you actually. What is the college doing with the large trebuchet next to the highway?
I have a question for you actually. What is the college doing with the large trebuchet next to the highway?
Defending the castle against hoards of invaders?
Defending the castle against hoards of invaders?
I always thought of trebuchet as a siege weapon
Hmm. Then maybe they plan on taking a castle?
A trebuchet would be very effective against an ivory tower.
I have a question for you actually. What is the college doing with the large trebuchet next to the highway?
If you could have a giant trebuchet, why wouldn't you?
If you could have a giant trebuchet, why wouldn't you?
Probably had some extra tuition money and had to think of a way to spend it without increasing professor pay or improving education.
Rucker61
02-13-2020, 12:14
If you could have a giant trebuchet, why wouldn't you?
My son's first job was as a trebuchet operator.
I have a question for you actually. What is the college doing with the large trebuchet next to the highway?
Maybe they use it to teach the practicality of physics.
If you could have a giant trebuchet, why wouldn't you?
If it keeps the black knight at bay....
ChickNorris
02-13-2020, 13:50
A trebuchet would be very effective against an ivory tower.
But it is the tower that has the trebuchet in this instance yes?
Great-Kazoo
02-13-2020, 14:27
Maybe they use it to teach the practicality of physics.
or deal with discipline issues
or deal with discipline issues
http://youtu.be/B_TEuKdGWVI
Great-Kazoo
02-13-2020, 19:59
http://youtu.be/B_TEuKdGWVI
That's Count De Monet
jenznat0r
02-14-2020, 00:38
I think I'll be the hero and throw this topic baaaaack in the reigns.
Job search is going alright. I've heard back from two places immediately but unfortunately they were doing interviews tomorrow and Monday and that was too soon to make it out. So I had to decline them. The one I really want has some phases to it and will take some time. I am able to do that one remotely.
They couldn’t phone or Skype?
What sort of jobs are they?
jenznat0r
02-14-2020, 09:05
Marketing jobs. I offered to remotely interview but they declined. They wanted an in-person. There is the main job I am applying for, but I am applying to other places as well. Eventually either way I am going to have to head out soon.
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