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Hummer
05-28-2023, 11:25
Helping suburbanites with their ongoing commitment to reintroducing wildlife




A western Colorado environmental group is excited to announce preliminary efforts to draft an enlightened new ballot initiative in Colorado, tentatively titled ?The Reintroduction and Protection of Rattlesnakes within Front-range Urban and Suburban Backyard Spaces.?


Sponsored by ARROGANT, the ?Association for the Reintroduction of Rattlesnakes On Greatly Accessible Natural Terrain,? it is hoped that the ballot initiative will soon be ready for the petition-gathering process.


Rattlesnakes, particularly the prairie rattler, have long been native to Front Range lands, however, their natural habitat has been severely limited by rapid residential development.


Sadly, many Front Range homeowners have installed non-native Kentucky bluegrass or other rattlesnake-averse grasses upon their properties and then, making matters worse, have often erected wooden privacy fencing.


Such fencing has made it much more difficult for rattlesnakes to maintain a backyard presence, with homeowners essentially placing a greater priority on the enjoyment of their backyard space over the welfare of rattlesnake species. Compounding the problem is the frequent presence of dogs kept simply for the pleasure of homeowners, yet ultimately very frightening to rattlesnakes.


This proposed initiative will require all Front Range area homeowners within a five-county area to allow the reintroduction of at least one species of rattlesnake to their back yard within six months after approval of the initiative. Colorado Parks and Wildlife, through the rulemaking process, will be tasked with the development of rattlesnake acquisition guidelines as well as requirements for homeowners to ensure the ongoing safety of their newly acquired rattlesnakes.


The killing or relocation of backyard rattlesnakes would be strictly prohibited. In extreme circumstances, a homeowner may intervene to prevent the injury of a small child under the age of 10 for whom a rattlesnake bite appears imminent, however only after shouting an audible warning to the snake in order to give the reptile sufficient time to retreat.


CPW will be further tasked with developing educational programs designed to teach children to respect backyard rattlesnake habitat, as well as how to coexist with rattlesnakes in a manner that is respectful of their new environment.


A new ad campaign featuring the amusing antics of Rodney the Rattler will be integrated into Front Range elementary schools in order to help children better appreciate the joy and beauty that rattlesnakes can provide to backyard dwellers.






If successful, the proposed initiative will appear on the November ballot of all Colorado voters living west of the Continental Divide. While some Front Range voters may wonder why they do not have a say in the management of their own backyard spaces, ARROGANT believes that Front Range voters are far less sophisticated and enlightened than their Western Slope counterparts on matters of rattlesnake reintroduction. And while some may express concern that Western Slope voters are dictating Front Range policies that do not ultimately apply to them, Western Slope voters have long advocated for the halcyon days when rattlesnakes roamed uninhibited throughout all Front Range habitats, and they are especially appreciative of the beauty and splendor of these majestic reptiles.


The reintroduction of rattlesnakes to Front Range backyards benefits the entire state of Colorado, and it is important that skeptical Front Range voters set aside their concerns in order to support the greater good derived from backyard rattlesnake reintroduction. Passage of this important initiative will send a strong message of protection and inclusivity to other states who have not yet embraced the beauty of these creatures.


John Camper is a former police chief of the Grand Junction Police Department and a former director of the Colorado Bureau of Investigation.

brutal
05-28-2023, 12:12
Comedy gold
[ROFL1]

bradbn4
05-28-2023, 13:21
so this will be a re-make of snakes on a plane? Who will play Samuel Jackson?

HBARleatherneck
05-28-2023, 14:13
City people need more coyotes and mountain lions too. Those animals like to eat appetizers (small yip dogs)

buffalobo
05-28-2023, 14:48
Punch line?


If you're unarmed, you are a victim.

BushMasterBoy
05-28-2023, 14:59
A bite from a baby praire rattler can ruin your life. There was a story about a local lady that carelessy dangled her arm under a porch. Got bit, surgeons kept having to remove necrotizing flesh off her arm.

BladesNBarrels
05-28-2023, 16:22
Rounding them up for the big distribution.

https://i.imgur.com/yX17655.jpg

Hummer
05-28-2023, 17:24
Rounding them up for the big distribution.

https://i.imgur.com/yX17655.jpg



Destined for Boulder! [ROFL1]

JohnnyEgo
05-28-2023, 17:27
That looks like the 2nd least popular attraction at Disney. Still beats 'Small World', though.

3beansalad
05-28-2023, 18:56
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20230529/f850f3745754f68fdc1d71ab17102fc1.jpg

Sent from my SM-G998U using Tapatalk

Hummer
05-28-2023, 21:36
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20230529/f850f3745754f68fdc1d71ab17102fc1.jpg



Isn't the internet wonderful!

Bailey Guns
05-29-2023, 06:16
Rattlesnakes after they introduced themselves to my backyard... I "Judged" them to be trespassing.

93927

93928

BPTactical
05-29-2023, 06:52
Rattlesnakes after they introduced themselves to my backyard... I "Judged" them to be trespassing.

93927

93928



Mellow out man, they just wanted to get a tummy rub and cuddle.

theGinsue
05-29-2023, 09:10
This is satire; right?!

HBARleatherneck
05-29-2023, 09:20
This is satire; right?!
Guessing so after the wolf reintroduction pushed by the front range on the mountains and western slope.

Bailey Guns
05-29-2023, 12:30
Totally satire. Best I've seen in a while and it wasn't even from the Bee...

Wulf202
05-29-2023, 12:39
I'd vote yes.

I have some back yard cottonmouths I could donate

FoxtArt
05-29-2023, 16:57
Satire, written by John Camper, Grand Junction's prior chief of police.

For all you east slope people, the Wolf Reintroduction thing was "Do you think we should introduce dangerous wolves, plopped into conservative Western Colorado, far, far away from you?" The residents of the places that are receiving them, for all intents and purposes, did not get any vote. It doesn't affect the east slope at all, but they nevertheless dictated the future of a place most of them have never even been to.

That is the (inverted) satirical perspective.

Ah Pook
05-29-2023, 18:27
Why didn't I question the article as fake? [facepalm] I guess I'm getting used to the crazy.

Grew up around rattlers. Not a fan. My Grandmother could pop one, with a shotgun, at twenty yards and go back to making lunch.

rondog
05-30-2023, 08:31
Everyone should see a big pit full of rattlesnakes like that at least once. It's an interesting sight, and the smell is real - special.....

MED
05-30-2023, 13:44
Why didn't I question the article as fake? [facepalm] I guess I'm getting used to the crazy.

Grew up around rattlers. Not a fan. My Grandmother could pop one, with a shotgun, at twenty yards and go back to making lunch.

Yeah, it's pretty hard to tell if it's the Onion or just Colorado.

Hummer
05-30-2023, 16:29
This is satire; right?!



Okay, I'm the guilty one. The article was labeled as satire in the May 23 Grand Junction Daily Sentinel, and I didn't include it. Since this is a Front Range-centered forum, I wanted to see who would protest, and if anyone would sign the initiative petition and vote for it. I sure as hell would!

The wolf reintroduction measure was written and promoted by out of state anti hunting groups and others that profit from selling the pro wolf scam. And it was heralded by the leftist media, Polis and conspirators in spite of the damage to western slope interests including agriculture, the communities that depend on hunting, the outfitters and virtually every big game hunter. Every week in every western slope newspapers there are letters condemning the reintroduction scheme, and Polis for pushing forward regardless of damage to the states economy.

My take is that most within the Colorado Parks and Wildlife knew that wolf reintroduction would be bad for the state but they are prevented from making comments of any kind on a political measure. And they know from experience that anyone who violated that would be fired.

It is the perfect example of the Tyranny of the Majority. And it is why our founding fathers established a republic rather than a democracy. Colorado is now an autocracy because we don't have a governor who stands for the entire state.

Personally, I'd like to see a well funded effort to gather signatures and push the rattlesnake initiative onto the ballot. Wouldn't it be fun if it passed because the arrogant progressives stayed home believing it could never pass!

As for the wolves, I don't think it will be long before they begin killing livestock, dogs, cats and maybe free-roaming kids on the Front Range. Then, urban voters might come to realize why wolves were extirpated from most of the continental U.S. a hundred years ago.

MED
05-31-2023, 15:06
Okay, I'm the guilty one. The article was labeled as satire in the May 23 Grand Junction Daily Sentinel, and I didn't include it. Since this is a Front Range-centered forum, I wanted to see who would protest, and if anyone would sign the initiative petition and vote for it. I sure as hell would!

The wolf reintroduction measure was written and promoted by out of state anti hunting groups and others that profit from selling the pro wolf scam. And it was heralded by the leftist media, Polis and conspirators in spite of the damage to western slope interests including agriculture, the communities that depend on hunting, the outfitters and virtually every big game hunter. Every week in every western slope newspapers there are letters condemning the reintroduction scheme, and Polis for pushing forward regardless of damage to the states economy.

My take is that most within the Colorado Parks and Wildlife knew that wolf reintroduction would be bad for the state but they are prevented from making comments of any kind on a political measure. And they know from experience that anyone who violated that would be fired.

It is the perfect example of the Tyranny of the Majority. And it is why our founding fathers established a republic rather than a democracy. Colorado is now an autocracy because we don't have a governor who stands for the entire state.

Personally, I'd like to see a well funded effort to gather signatures and push the rattlesnake initiative onto the ballot. Wouldn't it be fun if it passed because the arrogant progressives stayed home believing it could never pass!

As for the wolves, I don't think it will be long before they begin killing livestock, dogs, cats and maybe free-roaming kids on the Front Range. Then, urban voters might come to realize why wolves were extirpated from most of the continental U.S. a hundred years ago.

My family lives on the western slope including my family's cattle ranch. The wolves being introduced aren't even the native species; they are hybrids, which are larger. The wolf packs reproduce quickly, they are apex predators, they destroy game herds, and they impact game patterns for other predators such as mountain lion. They push the cats into livestock grazing lands. The whole thing is a massive cluster fuck. The stupid urban idiots that push for this garbage are completely clueless how it impacts the region as well as other wildlife.

theGinsue
05-31-2023, 16:43
As for the wolves, I don't think it will be long before they begin killing livestock, dogs, cats and maybe free-roaming kids on the Front Range. Then, urban voters might come to realize why wolves were extirpated from most of the continental U.S. a hundred years ago.

I'm of the belief that even then they still wouldn't mind it unless, of course, it was their kid.


The stupid urban idiots that push for this garbage are completely clueless how it impacts the region as well as other wildlife.

I'm going to have to disagree with you on this.

I think many of them know exactly what type of impact it will have and either don't care or want this impact. [NOTE: Listed responses are NOT how I feel but it's how many of those who want the wolves feel.]


Decimating game populations? Good, then hunters can't murder these animals. It's "just nature" when the wolves do it.
Harming outfitters and communities who rely on hunters for their revenue? Good, you're just accomplices in the murdering of these animals.
Harming ranching? Good, you shouldn't be raising animals to just murder them anyway.
Harming argiculture? Good, get your vegetables at the supermarket where they make them.
Harm people or pets? Good, this is what they get for living in the wolves habitat.
Harm mountain lions and other native predators? Oh well, small price to pay for bringing back these adorable cuddly wolves.




Okay, I'm the guilty one. The article was labeled as satire in the May 23 Grand Junction Daily Sentinel, and I didn't include it. Since this is a Front Range-centered forum, I wanted to see who would protest, and if anyone would sign the initiative petition and vote for it. I sure as hell would!

I had to double-check given the insanity that gets proposed here in the state.



It is the perfect example of the Tyranny of the Majority. And it is why our founding fathers established a republic rather than a democracy. Colorado is now an autocracy because we don't have a governor who stands for the entire state..

Naw, we no longer have a republic, and barely even a democracy. The left got everyone calling it a democracy vice republic for so long that no one even understands the difference any more. From there it has been easy to run as a democracy that's quickly sliding into something far worse. All by plan.