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View Full Version : Kalashnikov vs. AR-15 vs. Mosin-Nagant



Ryan_Th3_K1d
03-08-2010, 00:02
A comparison of the AK-47, the AR-15, and the Mosin-Nagant M1891/1930

AK: It works though you have never cleaned it -- ever.
AR: You have $9 per ounce special non-detergent synthetic Teflon infused oil for cleaning.
MN: It was last cleaned in Berlin in 1945. Maybe.

AK: You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from inside.
AR: You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from 600 meters.
MN: You can hit the farm from two counties over.

AK: Cheap magazines are fun to buy.
AR: Cheap magazines melt.
MN: What's a magazine?

AK: Your safety can be heard from 300 meters away.
AR: You can silently flip off the safety with your finger on the trigger.
MN: What's a safety?

AK: Your rifle comes with a cheap nylon sling.
AR: Your rifle has a 9 point stealth tactical suspension system.
MN: Your rifle has four dog collars tied end-to-end.

AK: Your bayonet makes a good wire cutter.
AR: Your bayonet is actually a pretty good steak knife.
MN: Your bayonet is longer than your leg.

AK: You can put a .30" hole through 12" of oak, if you can ever hit it.
AR: You can put one hole in a paper target at 100 meters with 30 rounds.
MN: You can knock down everyone else's target with the shock wave of your bullet going downrange.

AK: When out of ammo your rifle will nominally pass as a club.
AR: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a great wiffle bat.
MN: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a supreme war club, pike, boat oar, tent pole, or firewood.

AK: Recoil is manageable, even fun.
AR: What's recoil?
MN: Recoil is often used to relocate shoulders thrown out by the previous shot.

AK: Your sight adjustment goes to "10", and you've never bothered moving it.
AR: Your sight adjustment is incremented in fractions of minute of angle.
MN: Your sight adjustment goes to 12 miles and you've actually tried it.

AK: Your rifle can be used by any two bit nation's most illiterate conscripts to fight elite forces worldwide.
AR: Your rifle is used by elite forces worldwide to fight two bit nations' most illiterate conscripts.
MN: Your rifle has fought against itself and won every time.

AK: Your rifle won some revolutions.
AR: Your rifle won the Cold War.
MN: Your rifle won a pole vault event.

AK: You paid $350.
AR: You paid $900.
MN: You paid $59.95.

AK: You buy cheap ammo by the case.
AR: You lovingly reload precision crafted rounds one by one.
MN: You dig your ammo out of a farmer's field in Ukraine and it works just fine.

AK: You can intimidate your foe when you fix bayonet.
AR: Your can give your foe a good laugh when you fix your bayonet.
MN: You can bayonet your foe on the other side of the river without leaving the comfort of your hole.

AK: Service life, 50 years.
AR: Service life, 40 years.
MN: Service life, 100 years, and counting.

AK: It's easier to buy a new rifle when you want to change cartridge sizes.
AR: You can change cartridge sizes with the push of a couple of pins and a new upper.
MN: You believe no real man would dare risk the ridicule of his friends by suggesting there is anything but 7.62x54R.

AK: You can repair your rifle with a big hammer and a swift kick.
AR: You can repair your rifle by taking it to a certified gunsmith and it's under warranty!
MN: If your rifle breaks, you can buy a new one.

AK: You consider it a badge of honor when you get your handguards to burst into flames.
AR: You consider it a badge of honor when you shoot a sub-MOA 5 shot group.
MN: You consider it a badge of honor when you cycle 5 rounds without the aid of a 2x4.

AK: After a long day the range you relax by watching "Red Dawn".
AR: After a long day at the range you relax by watching "Blackhawk Down".
MN: After a long day at the range you relax by visiting the chiropractor.

AK: You can accessorize you rifle with a new muzzle brake or a nice stock set.
AR: Your rifle's accessories are eight times more valuable than your rifle.
MN: Your rifle's accessory is a small tin can with a funny lid, but it's buried under an apartment building somewhere in Budapest.

AK: Your rifle's finish is varnish and paint.
AR: Your rifle's finish is Teflon and high tech polymers.
MN: Your rifle's finish is low grade shellac, cosmoline and Olga's toe nails.

AK: Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Mikhail Kalashnikov.
AR: Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Eugene Stoner.
MN: You're not sure there WERE cameras to photograph Sergei Mosin.

AK: Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to hold your rifle over your head and shout "Wolverines!"
AR: Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to clear your house, slicing the pie from room to room.
MN: Late at night, you sometimes have to fight the urge to dig a fighting trench in the yard to sleep in.

Irving
03-08-2010, 00:05
I've seen the graph version of this and think it is a worthy repost. Very hilarious.

I finally get that Wolverines reference too!

coop68
03-08-2010, 00:37
i enjoyed this after spending 5 Min's to read it all.

funny tho[Beer]

PogoManiac7
03-08-2010, 03:04
definitely worth the read, i think it nails the difference pretty accurately.

KevDen2005
03-08-2010, 03:41
Funny, and Yes I do sometimes fight the urge to clear my house when i am watching war movies late at night

Irving
03-08-2010, 03:41
I clear both my house and my office on occasion.

ryanek9freak
03-08-2010, 06:56
Having owned all 3, I can say it's all 100% accurate. Frickin dying over here...

roberth
03-08-2010, 07:59
That is funny. Thank you for the Monday morning laugh. [LOL]

Troublco
03-08-2010, 09:09
I don't have an AK, although I've considered getting one on occasion. My initial thought when I saw the title was that you can't really include the Mosin in a comparison like this. Curiousity took over. What a riot! This is like my "You know you're in Iraq when" shirt, it's a hell of a lot funnier 'cause you know it's TRUE! (Or at least close.)

Awesome!

WOLVERINES!

[ROFL1]

Birddog1911
03-08-2010, 11:16
Seen this before, but I think it deserves a sticky!

BigBear
03-08-2010, 11:33
This is like my "You know you're in Iraq when" shirt, it's a hell of a lot funnier 'cause you know it's TRUE!

Want to see said shirt and reasons, lol.

You know you're in Iraq when the wind blows and you can't tell up from down?

refryguy
03-08-2010, 11:33
I was shooting a Mosin and and AR this weekend. That Mosin is a friggin beast! My shoulder still hurts.

refryguy
03-08-2010, 11:34
I finally get that Wolverines reference too!

You must be young.

Did you all know they are re-making Red Dawn.

vegas976
03-08-2010, 11:39
I think I might have pee'd myself while reading this. I own all 3 and relate completely.

sabot_round
03-08-2010, 12:14
I think I might have pee'd myself while reading this. I own all 3 and relate completely.

Me too!![Beer]

Ranger353
03-08-2010, 12:42
I think I might have pee'd myself while reading this. I own all 3 and relate completely.

Me three! I like my 91/30 with the standard wood stock, but I just bought a resin polymer stock hoping that it will tame some of that kick.

Irving
03-08-2010, 13:04
You must be young.

Did you all know they are re-making Red Dawn.

Yeah, someone started a thread about it a few months ago, which was the reason I saw the movie in the first place.

Troublco
03-08-2010, 15:54
Want to see said shirt and reasons, lol.

You know you're in Iraq when the wind blows and you can't tell up from down?

You know you're in Iraq when you come out of your hootch at midnight, find that it's only 100, and think about how nice and cool it is.

(Unless it's December or January, when-)

You know you're in Iraq when you come out of your hootch and are pleasantly surprised to find that the mud surrounding your hootch has mercifully frozen over. Then you're not so happy when you discover it's only frozen on top.


You really had to be there to understand some of these, but here they are:

You know you are at Balad Air Base Iraq when......

10. You buy Italian gold from a Sri Lankan working in a Kuwaiti gold shop in the middle of Iraq.

9. Your barber is the same guy who cleans your toilet.

8. All your neighbors are truly "trailer trash".

7. You're willing to start wearing Depends underwear so you don't have to get fully dressed to go to the bathroom.

6. Your best pick-up line is, "I've got a vehicle".

5. Someone jumps out from behind a barrier with a flashlight and tells you to take your hands out of your pockets.

4. You dry your hands with toilet paper before every meal.

3. The water you drink is warmer than the water in your shower.

2. A Cadillac is no longer something you drive.

1. It rains one hundredth of an inch and the place floods.

A few explanations for purposes of elucidation:
8 - everyone lives in trailers. 2 or 3 rooms to a trailer, depending on rank and service.
7 - You can't go to the bathroom at night (or any other time) unless you're dressed. For us, that means in uniform. FULL uniform. Best case, that's PT (workout) uniform.
5 - They have what I liked to call the pee-pee police: Senior NCO's and officers who are tasked to go around and make sure you don't have your hands in your pockets, your uniform is proper, you aren't walking to the cadillacs wearing your flip flops, etc. Some go so far as to stop you while you're on the treadmill in the gym and make you tuck your shirt back in. (Ask me how I know!)
4 - You are REQUIRED to wash your hands before you go into the chow hall. A good idea, to be sure. But the "paper towels" you dry your hands with are the same consistency as TP, just on bigger rolls.
2 - A Cadillac (over there) is a trailer equipped with urinals, stalls, and sinks or showers and sinks. Sometimes both.
10, 9, 6, 3, and 1 - No kidding. Really.

Pics as requested.

Irving
03-08-2010, 15:58
What is the big deal about hands in pockets and having your shirt tucked in while working out?

BigBear
03-08-2010, 16:03
I can the shirt tucked in as a way to keep uniformity, respect, etc in a foriegn country...

Hands in pockets...good question... hiding/stealing/etc something? (some bad guys are US troops), spreading disease through misc contact, etc...

I understand some of them, but yeah, guess you had to be there for others. Had a few friends at Stryker (?) and something else there for a while. Three came home fine, one not so fine, but at least he came home.

Irving
03-08-2010, 16:04
I can the shirt tucked in as a way to keep uniformity, respect, etc in a foriegn country...



At the gym on base though?

Troublco
03-08-2010, 16:13
You can't put your hands in your pockets. This isn't while you're working out, it's when you're in regular uniform. (PT shorts don't have pocket, and you only wear the pants if it's really cold out) Anyone who's been in for a while has undoubtedly, at some point, heard the old "Don't you have any gloves???" line.

Also, since our PT uniform is, indeed, a uniform, you have to BE IN UNIFORM if you're wearing it. And since at that location they mandated that you have the shirt tucked in, if it comes untucked at any time you're out of uniform. I do realize this doesn't make a lot of sense, but ask anyone who's been in the military and they'll tell you that it doesn't always make sense. Some might opine that it frequently doesn't make sense.

And yes, in the gym. While you're running on the treadmill. Also, there would occasionally be someone standing in the cadillac watching as folks exited, looking for violations.

Now, granted, a lot of them were handed the duty, and only doing what they were instructed to. But some volunteered so they could look good. They were generally the worst.

I occasionally fantasized about violating one or two of them.......[Muaha]

mikedubs
03-08-2010, 18:47
Hah...I remember leaving my room once with my PT shirt untucked...a private on duty nailed me for it and I just walked by...then my company Gunny comes up behind me and tears a new a-hole..[Tooth]

pr1ncess45
03-08-2010, 20:35
I have a Mosin and let me tell you something, it is not a beast it is my baby my favorite out of everything I own.I can shoot it all day (I have) and not go home sore. Oh and btw I am a 5' female that weighs about 120.

pr1ncess45
03-08-2010, 20:38
I think you should man up or stick to the smaller stuff. Grow a pair already.

Dr_Fwd
03-08-2010, 20:48
lol

mikedubs
03-08-2010, 22:03
my M38 is a foot-long fireball of fun every time!

theGinsue
03-08-2010, 22:18
A comparison of the AK-47, the AR-15, and the Mosin-Nagant M1891/1930..........

I saw a web page dedicated to this a couple of years ago. I still love it. Definitely bears repeating.


Seen this before, but I think it deserves a sticky!

What he said.


AK: You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from inside.

This one was always my fav



You must be young.

Did you all know they are re-making Red Dawn.

Irving didn't actually see this until recently (peer pressure) when the conversation came up about the re-make.



I have a Mosin and let me tell you something, it is not a beast it is my baby my favorite out of everything I own.I can shoot it all day (I have) and not go home sore. Oh and btw I am a 5' female that weighs about 120.

?? We've FINALLY gotten a lady to join this site! Awesome!

Any chance you'll ever come out to any shoots with us?


I think you should man up or stick to the smaller stuff. Grow a pair already.

Oh, slap!

theGinsue
03-08-2010, 22:22
^^^^^
Now I'm going to have to hear from Irving and Sniper about how I could have made 6 posts out of my last post.

RobertB
03-09-2010, 00:18
THIS is how you know you're in Iraq:

http://expat.savagenet.com/gallery2/d/26285-2/IMG_0032.JPG

pr1ncess45
03-09-2010, 18:57
?? We've FINALLY gotten a lady to join this site! Awesome!

Any chance you'll ever come out to any shoots with us?



I'm sorry I don't know about going on a shoot with you all.Not that I wouldn't want to so please don't take offense.My husband and I always make a family outing out of it when we do go shoot.We have a few girls so we try to do what we can to spend time with them as well.However you all are more than welcome to join us anytime.Thank you for the invite.Hey maybe Refryguy can come with us and I can show him how it's done.[Flower]

hobowh
03-09-2010, 19:06
funny but true

Troublco
03-09-2010, 20:32
my M38 is a foot-long fireball of fun every time!

I have a cut-down Enfield with a Mini-30 front sight/flashhider. I don't know what it thinks it's hiding, 'cause when I shoot surplus cordite loads it's more like a flamethrower! Kicks pretty good, too!

First time I took it out, I asked my friend if he wanted to try it. He was a big Okie redneck. He wouldn't touch it![ROFL1]

Troublco
03-09-2010, 20:34
THIS is how you know you're in Iraq:
[/img]

Yeah, that too!

Except I worked mostly at night. So all I saw was less than almost nothing!!

mikedubs
03-09-2010, 21:06
I have a cut-down Enfield with a Mini-30 front sight/flashhider. I don't know what it thinks it's hiding, 'cause when I shoot surplus cordite loads it's more like a flamethrower! Kicks pretty good, too!

You mean the No. 5 Jungle carbine or a professional gunsmith job?

Troublco
03-09-2010, 21:20
You mean the No. 5 Jungle carbine or a professional gunsmith job?

It wasn't terribly professional when I first got hold of it. It's a cut down #4. I took the flashhider off and recrowned it, checked headspace and so on.

Ranger353
03-09-2010, 21:35
I think you should man up or stick to the smaller stuff. Grow a pair already.

Oh man, my kind of women. [Beer]