BadShot
09-13-2010, 11:33
Oldie but funny as hell:
http://www.satirewire.com/news/feb02/warship.shtml
"Canada Warship Seizes Tanker in Arabian Sea" -- Reuters, Feb. 8, 2002
CANADIAN WARSHIP SEIZES TANKER IN... WAIT...
CANADA HAS A WARSHIP?
Oh Right, and Switzerland Has Nuclear Weapons
Arabian Sea (SatireWire.com) — Canadian television reported Friday that a Canadian
warship in the Arabian Sea had seized a tanker suspected of smuggling oil from Iraq,
leading many to suspect that the report was a hoax.
"You're kidding, right? Canada has a warship?"
asked U.S. Defense Secretary Donald
Rumsfeld. "Like for war?
"Does Canada know?" he added.
"Nobody was more stunned than we were," said
Kali Omari, first mate of the seized vessel. "We
saw this frigate steaming toward us, and we
were worried, but then we saw the maple leaf
on the flag, and we thought, 'Oh, Canadians.
What the hell do they want?'"
When an officer of the HMCS Vancouver
announced that the tanker was about to be
boarded, the crew of the detained ship was
confused, said Omari, but their confusion
quickly turned to anger when they saw what the
Canadians sailors were carrying.
"They were armed. With guns," said Omari.
"Canadians. With guns. And a warship. What is
this world coming to?"
"They were pretty rude, too," Omari added. "They started asking us all sorts of questions,
like 'Where did that oil come from?' But first we wanted to know who gave them the damn
warship."
According to Canadian defense officials, the Vancouver is one of
four frigates deployed in the region to assist in the U.S.-led
Afghanistan conflict. The tanker was stopped, officials said,
because its cargo of crude oil violated United Nations sanctions,
which prohibit Iraq from selling oil unless in exchange for food and
medicine.
The U.N. said the incident is already under investigation, and
promised swift action against those found responsible for giving
the Canadians guns. Initial findings indicate that the Vancouver crew may have been
watching too many American television shows.
Copyright © 2002, SatireWire.
http://www.satirewire.com/news/feb02/warship.shtml
"Canada Warship Seizes Tanker in Arabian Sea" -- Reuters, Feb. 8, 2002
CANADIAN WARSHIP SEIZES TANKER IN... WAIT...
CANADA HAS A WARSHIP?
Oh Right, and Switzerland Has Nuclear Weapons
Arabian Sea (SatireWire.com) — Canadian television reported Friday that a Canadian
warship in the Arabian Sea had seized a tanker suspected of smuggling oil from Iraq,
leading many to suspect that the report was a hoax.
"You're kidding, right? Canada has a warship?"
asked U.S. Defense Secretary Donald
Rumsfeld. "Like for war?
"Does Canada know?" he added.
"Nobody was more stunned than we were," said
Kali Omari, first mate of the seized vessel. "We
saw this frigate steaming toward us, and we
were worried, but then we saw the maple leaf
on the flag, and we thought, 'Oh, Canadians.
What the hell do they want?'"
When an officer of the HMCS Vancouver
announced that the tanker was about to be
boarded, the crew of the detained ship was
confused, said Omari, but their confusion
quickly turned to anger when they saw what the
Canadians sailors were carrying.
"They were armed. With guns," said Omari.
"Canadians. With guns. And a warship. What is
this world coming to?"
"They were pretty rude, too," Omari added. "They started asking us all sorts of questions,
like 'Where did that oil come from?' But first we wanted to know who gave them the damn
warship."
According to Canadian defense officials, the Vancouver is one of
four frigates deployed in the region to assist in the U.S.-led
Afghanistan conflict. The tanker was stopped, officials said,
because its cargo of crude oil violated United Nations sanctions,
which prohibit Iraq from selling oil unless in exchange for food and
medicine.
The U.N. said the incident is already under investigation, and
promised swift action against those found responsible for giving
the Canadians guns. Initial findings indicate that the Vancouver crew may have been
watching too many American television shows.
Copyright © 2002, SatireWire.