View Full Version : ever had a relative turtle up and just go missing?
Well I have one. Over the last month she has just closed herself off, won't answer my calls, emails nor texts. She is doing the same to my mother. Before this, she was always open with us and would let us know what is going on. I am not sure what to do. I sent her these messages trying to get her to answer, to no avail.
WARNING!
"Your status as my favorite Aunt is currently under review.
Please call 303-884-2919 to review the current status of your account.
This is an automated survey and will be conducted every hour until we receive a reply.
Thank you, please continue to enjoy your status as my favorite Aunt until the survey is complete."
BBQ MESSAGE ALERT!
"WARNING! Your Steak allowance for BBQ has recently been downgraded from NY Strip to Bottom Round.
If you feel this adjustment has been made in error, please contact us at 303-884-2919 in order to work toward a resolution."
Usually she would find this amusing and call me. No word yet and I am starting to get concerned.
Should I just go and show up at her house?
Usually she would find this amusing and call me. No word yet and I am starting to get concerned.
Should I just go and show up at her house?
If she would usually call you, then YES, go to her house. I can think of several things of where one might cut themselves off from friends and family. Top of the list is thoughts of suicide. And don't laugh it off, perfectly sane people can contemplate suicide and if left unchecked could (or could not due to logical rationalizing) lead to the committing of the act.
How far away is she? I'll go to her house for you if it's closer to me than you.
68Charger
09-20-2010, 15:27
I have a brother-in-law that goes into this mode regularly..
In his case it's usually one of 3 things:
Depression- he'll sleep until afternoon, and just doesn't have the motivation to do anything
Drugs- he's been addicted to Meth, and when he was/is taking it, he'll sever all contact with the real world
Withdrawl- he has a new girlfriend, and he's just totally focused on HER, and doesn't want any distractions
He generally snaps out of it and then contacts someone when he needs something (he calls me if his vehicle breaks down, his mom if he needs food or money, etc)
If it's abnormal behavior for her, I'd go visit & just let her know you're concerned about her- if it's depression or drugs, that will make a world of difference to them, and start a road to recovery.
I don't mean to imply or insult by bringing up drugs, I don't know her, just relating my experience with family...
StagLefty
09-20-2010, 15:41
Sounds like you need to do a welfare check in person-NOW !!
Any chance of bipolarity or an off the grid work situation?
WillysWagon
09-20-2010, 15:45
Sounds like you need to do a welfare check in person-NOW !!
This........
funkfool
09-20-2010, 16:29
My sister....
She did a disappearing act at 18 for 5 years...
Showed up with a son...
Then at 25 for 5 more...
Showed up with a daughter...
Then at 32 she pulled an 18 year disappearance...
Bailed on her kids...
Missed the death of their father - her ex...
Missed the illness and eventual death of our father...
I hadn't seen her since '92 or so...
She called me about 8 months ago...
She came out to see me last month...
It was hard to convince my brother to come and visit her when she was here....
Glad I saw her - glad she is alive...
We thought the worst...
Same issues, drug, alcohol and substance abuse, domestic violence... you name it...
She is clean and sober for 7 years now (She says)...
I talk to her on the phone about once every few weeks...
I say - go - show up at her house...
It is better knowing...
theGinsue
09-20-2010, 18:32
Amen. Go check up on her. If you can't get a response from her, consider asking the police for a welfare check. If she rents, a landlord can let the police in to check up on her. I don't know what hte rules are for home owners.
Aside from the things she may have done to herself, she may have been the victim of a crime or sudden illness and need medical attention.
Byte Stryke
09-20-2010, 19:24
Amen. Go check up on her. If you can't get a response from her, consider asking the police for a welfare check. If she rents, a landlord can let the police in to check up on her. I don't know what hte rules are for home owners.
Aside from the things she may have done to herself, she may have been the victim of a crime or sudden illness and need medical attention.
if its DPD just say "I think she has a gun!"
They will beat the door down and... never mind, that goes bad from There :(
Is it just me or does it seem like only time I hear from family is when they want something from me?
just sayin'
My sister in law just did the same thing. My wifes best friend and little sis. We put on her wedding at our house (3rd marriage) she went on her honneymoon and a little while later she is to busy for us.
Troublco
09-20-2010, 20:28
Sounds like you need to do a welfare check in person-NOW !!
+1.
StagLefty
09-22-2010, 07:55
Any follow up with this ???
I have stopped by twice and she wasn't home. I know she has had health problems for years now, chrohn's, hip surgery and that she was worried about possibly losing her home, (I don't know the details) I know she has been busting her butt at work trying to implement and adjust some new software program. At this point I am thinking it may be she is just feeling overwhelmed and maybe running into a bit of depression.
I am planning on just showing up on Saturday to have a bbq and talk and watch some football.
Byte Stryke
09-22-2010, 18:26
I have stopped by twice and she wasn't home. I know she has had health problems for years now, chrohn's, hip surgery and that she was worried about possibly losing her home, (I don't know the details) I know she has been busting her butt at work trying to implement and adjust some new software program. At this point I am thinking it may be she is just feeling overwhelmed and maybe running into a bit of depression.
I am planning on just showing up on Saturday to have a bbq and talk and watch some football.
if she isnt home Saturday, show up at 3am
EVERYONE is home at 3am... not always sober, but they are home ;)
if she isn't home Saturday, show up at 3AM
EVERYONE is home at 3am... not always sober, but they are home ;)
When you dial 9-1-1 at 3AM does someone answer? Or do you get a recording with "In case if fire or rape please call back after 5AM."
Are the hospitals empty at 3AM?
When you get up to take a wizz at 3AM do the lights come on and the toilet flush? Is the heating or a/c functional?
These are just a few of the people that aren't home at 3AM. There are a lot more people out there supporting our lives at 3AM.
If you meant most people are home then why did you SHOUT "EVERYONE"?
I am a night person. I have been that way all my life. I have been retired for 14 months now and for the last year my normal sleep pattern is from about 5 or 6 AM to about noon. I am often out and about at 3AM.
OK rant off. Sorry about that.
Blue collar...
I'd like to remind you at four in the morning my world is very still
The air is fresh under diamond skies, makes me glad to be alive.
From BTO song Blue collar
I really hope that Driildo's relative is OK.
theGinsue
09-30-2010, 19:33
Any updayer on this situation/individual Drilldo?
Byte Stryke
10-01-2010, 00:30
When you dial 9-1-1 at 3AM does someone answer? Or do you get a recording with "In case if fire or rape please call back after 5AM."
Are the hospitals empty at 3AM?
When you get up to take a wizz at 3AM do the lights come on and the toilet flush? Is the heating or a/c functional?
These are just a few of the people that aren't home at 3AM. There are a lot more people out there supporting our lives at 3AM.
If you meant most people are home then why did you SHOUT "EVERYONE"?
I am a night person. I have been that way all my life. I have been retired for 14 months now and for the last year my normal sleep pattern is from about 5 or 6 AM to about noon. I am often out and about at 3AM.
OK rant off. Sorry about that.
Blue collar...
I'd like to remind you at four in the morning my world is very still
The air is fresh under diamond skies, makes me glad to be alive.
From BTO song Blue collar
you have fucking issues...
Notice the Smiley???
wasn't to be taken seriously or literally so Jog on!
\/
Meanwhile, back in the world of the Normal people.
So yeah, Update?
You guys ever consider putting yourselves in this gentleman's shoes?
StagLefty
10-01-2010, 07:15
You guys ever consider putting yourselves in this gentleman's shoes?
No we knew you'd do that for us Stuart !!
Fentonite
10-01-2010, 08:24
Any update? With the health issues you mentioned, it might be worth calling hospitals to see if she's a patient. Just a thought.
While I haven't seen her, she is doing alright. I guess she just had a freakout because of work, her ongoing health issues and some issues with her house. so she just isolated herself for awhile to deal with everything. Good to finally know she is doing okay. I made it clear that next time she needs to call me and let me know what's up instead of making me and my family worry. We are going to get together when I get back from the road, I am going to take her to an Avs game then go to her house and grill up some steaks and watch the Broncos. She apologized for making us worry. I am just glad to know she is doing well.
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