View Full Version : Need your prayers
Not to air my dirty laundry, but just found out my bride of 16 years has been havining multiple affairs and she now wants a divorce. She's brought me to my knees this time. Your prayers to make it through this are much needed.
Thanks,
Josh
2ndChildhood
04-16-2011, 13:20
Hang in there dude.
You will go through many hard days & nights before you can honestly say you are starting to move beyond this.
Best wishes!
Fentonite
04-16-2011, 13:25
Damn. I'm sorry brother. Keep posting, let us know what you need.
patrick0685
04-16-2011, 13:30
Sorry to hear that, my prayer are with you
DSB OUTDOORS
04-16-2011, 13:53
Let me know if theres anything I can help ya with!! Hang in there!
Man--that's tough
Hang in there--you CAN get thru this
My thoughts are with ya
Damn...words don't matter much at this point. I'll just say I'm sending good thoughts your way brother.
Ugh, I want to vomit. I'm so sorry to hear this.
Byte Stryke
04-16-2011, 14:33
Hate hearin this Brother.
Chin up and remember, as far as the Hurt, nothing can last forever.
Always a bad thing, keep your head up man
Sorry to hear it.
Lawyer up now. Document everything. Get proof of her affairs, make sure there's no way you can be on the hook.
H.
theGinsue
04-16-2011, 15:35
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Lawyer up (yes, they cost a bundle but save you in the end).
DO NOT move out of the marital home - have her move out and then change the locks /deadbolts immediately to ensure she doesn't pull a work-time raiding party on you and clean you out before the judge rules on a divorce and disposition of assets.
I can help you on Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday mornings.
Sorry to hear about this. You have my support. Lawyer up now.
68Charger
04-16-2011, 15:48
you'll be in my prayers, Josh-
at this point, are you looking for reconciliation, or just for the strength & wisdom to handle the storm you're about to go through?
don't blame yourself, her actions aren't an indictment on you- but I'm praying you'll be able to get through this one way or another...
BlasterBob
04-16-2011, 16:08
Josh, prayers are being said for you in hopes that things go as smooth as possible for YOU.
Josh,
Sorry to hear about your heart-breaking situation. Keep your hopes up and remember that we are here for you!
ronaldrwl
04-16-2011, 17:07
Sorry to hear it. If you need help let us know. I have a truck to help move her ass out. Make this your starting point to change your life in anyway you want.
Shit sucks man.. I've been on your end.
It hurts, and it's not easy, it takes time. You'll get through it.. I don't know anyone who hasn't made it past a broken heart.
Sadly only one of the things we can't weld.
Hang tuff man.
BPTactical
04-16-2011, 18:14
My heart is out to you Josh-betrayal sucks.
As many here have put forth: If you need anything give a holler.
Bailey Guns
04-16-2011, 18:26
Sux, man. I wish I understood why people have to be that way.
Sorry to hear about this Josh. If you need anything just let me know. Keep your head up.
Holy cow Josh I am sorry to hear this. let me know if you need help with anything.
prayers are with you.
keep us updated on what is going on and what you need
take care bro
I am sorry to hear your news. I will be praying for you and that you do not bear the pain alone. You have friends. Never forget that.
you will definitely make the prayers list .
Thanks guys for the kind words. Nice to have a supportive "online" family. I got nothing for an update. She left, took the oldest kid, left the other two and havent heard a thing since. I quite my out of town job, and am looking into a few things in the metro area so I'll be able to take care of my kids. There wasnt much food in the house, so I took the kido's to KingSoopers and were having dinner and a movie tonight.
uggghhhhhh. Sounds like a mess. I don't want to sound like a turd but put it in the Lords hands and it will all work out, even if its not the way we want it. Hindsight is 20/20.
I really hope everything works out for you guys. 16 years is a lot of commitment. Good luck
Thanks guys for the kind words. Nice to have a supportive "online" family. I got nothing for an update. She left, took the oldest kid, left the other two and havent heard a thing since. I quite my out of town job, and am looking into a few things in the metro area so I'll be able to take care of my kids. There wasnt much food in the house, so I took the kido's to KingSoopers and were having dinner and a movie tonight.
Gotta be there for them for sure.
Hey life is an adventure right, make it as good as you can.
DSB OUTDOORS
04-16-2011, 19:53
PM sent Brother!! Let me know!! [Beer]
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
Lawyer up
[Luck]
alan0269
04-16-2011, 20:16
Sorry to hear that! Prayers are out there for you!
I was going to ask if the kids knew anything about what was going on. Don't answer though.
Do you have a joint checking account and joint credit cards? That can be a problem if she has access to your money.
Prayers for you and your family.
tmjohnson
04-16-2011, 21:42
Feel for ya man
You and your kids definately in our prayers
Hang tough brother; prayers sent your way.
Hang in there. I just finished mine the end of Jan. Takes a little while but all better now.
I was going to ask if the kids knew anything about what was going on. Don't answer though.
Yep. Sad answer, but yes they do. She's been having dude over for dinner while I'm off at work.
Do you have a joint checking account and joint credit cards? That can be a problem if she has access to your money.
Prayers for you and your family.
She cleaned me out last week while at work. Closed the account, but too late.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you bro! Let us know if ou need anything. Got your back bro!!
StagLefty
04-17-2011, 08:06
Stay strong for the kids Josh-prayers sent
Dunecrazzy
04-17-2011, 08:09
Been there Bro , it will get better and there are many better days ahead..
Seamonkey
04-17-2011, 08:27
Sorry to hear that.
Remember to breathe. One evolution at a time.
As others have said: lawyer up, change the locks, close joint accounts, cancel credit cards, cancel cell phones in joint accounts, change all your passwords after scanning your PC for a key logger and always document, document, document.
Sorry to hear that man. Prayers are with you!
Pistol Packing Preacher
04-17-2011, 09:11
Sorry to hear that man. Prayers are with you!
+1
OUCH. Man, so sorry..... BIG time bummer....
I don't pray much, but I can give you bullets.
Seriously though, that blows man. I'm sorry to hear it...
flan7211
04-17-2011, 10:41
I'm sorry to hear this dude. May I make a suggestion, sell all your possessions to your brother or friend for a dollar and get a receipt.
funkfool
04-17-2011, 10:45
Crap... hang in there...
Sorry to hear this.
BTDT and it sucks. "Sell" all your firearms, bikes, tools, etc at an offsite location. Get a lawyer and prepare to be run through the ringer.
Above all else, be there for the kids.
Good luck. It will get better.
porfiriozg
04-17-2011, 11:48
my prayers are with you
Yep. Sad answer, but yes they do. She's been having dude over for dinner while I'm off at work.
that is just messed up. Lawyer up and don't let her manipulate the kids into believing anything other than the truth.
Gcompact30
04-17-2011, 11:58
We are here for you...
BPTactical
04-17-2011, 16:13
She cleaned me out last week while at work. Closed the account, but too late.
Great- not only betrayal at it's most basic level but thievery as well.
Get your hardware out of the house ASAP and anything of value as well.
Lawyer up-hit first, hit hard, stand your ground.
You have already seen that she is capable of just about anything-be ready.
Big Wall
04-17-2011, 16:19
My thoughts are with you.
BREATHER
04-17-2011, 16:38
It blows, Brother.. I lived with my second wife (twenty blissfull years of being single between marriages) for 5 years, as soon as we signed the nuptuials, she cheated with a friend of mine(he almost had a muzzleoader accident as that was what we were playing with at the time)... go figure.. Usually KARMA hits in though. She paid me dearly to leave, came out here to CO. And in the mean time I hooked back up with a girl I loved since we were 13 years old and Its been fantastic.. Good luck Brother and do what ya gotta do....
CO Retriever
04-17-2011, 17:38
Josh,
Praying for you and your family. It's a tough situation, but theres lots of good recommendations here.
Stand your ground and get a good attorney. Pray for the best and prepare for the worst. Don't put yourself in any situations with her where your temper can get the best of you. Situations like these can make the most grounded man go crazy.
Praying for you Josh.
bellavite1
04-17-2011, 17:40
Been there...
Sucks, but you can get through it.
Chad4000
04-17-2011, 21:06
Good luck man... Just slow down and go into "logical mode".. You can handle anything my friend.... You can do it..
argonstrom
04-17-2011, 21:21
Hit me up if you want to talk; I've been through it.
Just keep one thing in mind - DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID!
ldmaster
04-17-2011, 21:47
Stop sending Email of ANY KIND to ANYBODY EXCEPT your lawyer about your wife or your divorce.
All of your email CAN and MIGHT be subpoena'd in any divorce case. It doesn't matter what you say, or how you say it, if you put it in an email it can be admitted into evidence during a hearing for ANYTHING. An email to your lawyer can be protected though, so that's not a problem. STOP DOING THINGS ONLINE THAT COULD REMOTELY BE CONSTRUED as relating to your marriage/divorce/her. It doesn't matter, again, that you're not saying anything harmful - you CAN slip, therefore you WILL slip.
You are probably having just a little bit of a problem figuring out which friends KNEW she was doing this, there are probably a couple that knew. There are PROBABLY a couple that think of HER as their "friend" so clam up with your friends too.
The biggest betrayals I have had in life were from people I considered close and personal friends, it's no joke, I trust people too easily. Until you KNOW, then the answer is that you dont know who your friends are in this.
Get/seek a lawyer, get the case filed in YOUR county (Jefferson) because whereever she's shacking up you can bet that it wont be convinient to you (like Colorado Springs/El Paso County) and either of you can file in your county of residence, make sure it's where YOU live.
Get a temporary order for physical custody with visitation included. She WILL use your children against you, she absolutely will.
Keep your kids out of it. Do not EVER discuss "mommy" with the kids, that she took the oldest one with her shows she's already bent their little ears about things.
Be wary and suspicious of ANYBODY trying to get you to talk about her or your situation unless you have patted them down for hidden tape recorders. Do not use a phone call to express anger OR frustration in ANY way. Go by the motto:
"I am not smarter than the person I think I am talking to" and figure they'll find a way to record you.
Do not seek support from people in "your side of things" the only friend you have in this regard is your lawyer, doing so sets up a situation where people have to choose sides, and, again, you dont know what they've heard from her.
Ultimately there are two sides to everything, she's certainly justified whatever she's done in HER mind and there is no way in the world you are going to EVER win that argument with her. Start as you intend to continue, be civil and courteous. Do not rise to any bait that occurs, even if she's actually trying to get under you skin.
You have ONE job right now, that's the job of being Dad. Everything else isn't important, it's one of the reasons it's always suggested to single parents that they not date until their children are out of school, so "moving on" is a television show myth.
oh, and don't watch T.V., it will depress the hell out of you. Avoid music with words, listen to instrumental music only. You'll find yourself crying at the weirdest times for the weirdest associations you form for something you're seeing or hearing, and her. Be prepared to feel useless as a man for some time. It's just the way it works.
Psychologists acknowledge that men tend to have the more emotional response to a breakup, women as noted in country western songs are just plain COLD about it all. Paula Abdul sang a song about it.
Get all your guns out of the house. If you have a laptop, keep it with you at all times. And find that lawyer. Find him/her now.
Oh, don't forget - I babysit for free!!!
Jim
Aurora
spartan1919
04-17-2011, 22:03
prayers out. i agree with what he said.
ANYTHING you need man just hit me up!
Sorry to hear that. Prayers sent.
Lex_Luthor
04-18-2011, 08:37
Man, so sorry to hear. I'll keep you in my prayers.
Byte Stryke
04-18-2011, 10:01
everything ldmaster said
Stop sending Email of ANY KIND to ANYBODY EXCEPT your lawyer about your wife or your divorce.
All of your email CAN and MIGHT be subpoena'd in any divorce case. It doesn't matter what you say, or how you say it, if you put it in an email it can be admitted into evidence during a hearing for ANYTHING. An email to your lawyer can be protected though, so that's not a problem. STOP DOING THINGS ONLINE THAT COULD REMOTELY BE CONSTRUED as relating to your marriage/divorce/her. It doesn't matter, again, that you're not saying anything harmful - you CAN slip, therefore you WILL slip.
You are probably having just a little bit of a problem figuring out which friends KNEW she was doing this, there are probably a couple that knew. There are PROBABLY a couple that think of HER as their "friend" so clam up with your friends too.
The biggest betrayals I have had in life were from people I considered close and personal friends, it's no joke, I trust people too easily. Until you KNOW, then the answer is that you dont know who your friends are in this.
Get/seek a lawyer, get the case filed in YOUR county (Jefferson) because whereever she's shacking up you can bet that it wont be convinient to you (like Colorado Springs/El Paso County) and either of you can file in your county of residence, make sure it's where YOU live.
Get a temporary order for physical custody with visitation included. She WILL use your children against you, she absolutely will.
Keep your kids out of it. Do not EVER discuss "mommy" with the kids, that she took the oldest one with her shows she's already bent their little ears about things.
Be wary and suspicious of ANYBODY trying to get you to talk about her or your situation unless you have patted them down for hidden tape recorders. Do not use a phone call to express anger OR frustration in ANY way. Go by the motto:
"I am not smarter than the person I think I am talking to" and figure they'll find a way to record you.
Do not seek support from people in "your side of things" the only friend you have in this regard is your lawyer, doing so sets up a situation where people have to choose sides, and, again, you dont know what they've heard from her.
Ultimately there are two sides to everything, she's certainly justified whatever she's done in HER mind and there is no way in the world you are going to EVER win that argument with her. Start as you intend to continue, be civil and courteous. Do not rise to any bait that occurs, even if she's actually trying to get under you skin.
You have ONE job right now, that's the job of being Dad. Everything else isn't important, it's one of the reasons it's always suggested to single parents that they not date until their children are out of school, so "moving on" is a television show myth.
oh, and don't watch T.V., it will depress the hell out of you. Avoid music with words, listen to instrumental music only. You'll find yourself crying at the weirdest times for the weirdest associations you form for something you're seeing or hearing, and her. Be prepared to feel useless as a man for some time. It's just the way it works.
Psychologists acknowledge that men tend to have the more emotional response to a breakup, women as noted in country western songs are just plain COLD about it all. Paula Abdul sang a song about it.
Get all your guns out of the house. If you have a laptop, keep it with you at all times. And find that lawyer. Find him/her now.
Oh, don't forget - I babysit for free!!!
Jim
Aurora
+1 this is great advice, take it step by step and follow this.
H.
years back there was a guy on glocktalk going thru nasty custody/divorce issues.
one of the things he recommended that stuck out in my mind was any time you buy something, use a debit or credit card and sign the receipt, then have the cashier put an initial and date over your signature.
this is to determine your whereabouts in case she makes claims that you were stalking or harassing.
hopefully it won't go that way with you
like everybody here, I stand ready to assist in any way. just PM.
go outside, look up at the sky, take a deep breath.
this too shall pass, amigo.
CUatTheEnd
04-18-2011, 13:44
Hang in there better days ahead. Prayers from our Family!
Gosh pal, sorry to hear this. Keep your head up.
I hope everything works out for you in the end.
God bless
I stole your wording. Thanks Elhuero, that really helped with the day I had.
I stole your wordning. Thanks Elhuero, that really helped with the day I had.
[Awesom]
might want to fence some of your guns and such to a good friend so the wife doesnt get them in divorce... can buy them back right after all is said and done...
sorry about life circumstances
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