Daughters first date

[mx'r]

Just got back from picking up my daughter from her "first" date. She's 14 going on 20. Her boyfriend is almost 16, but a nice young man. Not sure as what to think. I wore the Glock 21sf open carry when I drove them down and picked them up, I think he got the message. Guess it's all over now. Nothing but problems from here on out.

[2008f450]

So glad I have boys.

[Irving]

Congratulations!

[rammit]

Kind of reminds me of that rodney atkins song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjO9kX4npVY

[Monky]

Oh man.. when my god daughter starts dating.. Luckily.. i have about 14 years to wait.

[jerrymrc]

I wish ya well. It can be a fun time. [Coffee]

[glock21]

damn mx'r i feel for you and ill be in your shoes in about 10yrs. the good ol'e .45 should say it all hahaha

[Big Wall]

Trust in the fact that you've raised her to be a good young lady.

[trlcavscout]

My duaghter is only 3 and I am already dreading the teen years!!! My son is 9 but I know what he will be like, that scares me to.

[Zundfolge]

aside from the fact that the world is going to hell in a hand basket this is yet another reason I'm glad we can't have kids (especially girls)

[Mtn.man]

Thankfully my daughter is grown and got her own younguns.
But when she was young I intimidated the shit outa her dates.

Being big helps, and cleaning your guns when they come over a BIG +.

[DSB OUTDOORS]

My Neice is only 5 and my brother is already asking me to be on call for a good old gun cleaning party at his house when she starts dating! How could I say no. [Coffee]

[Ah Pook]

Ten Simple Rules for
Dating My Daughter

Some thoughtful information for those who ARE daughters, WERE daughters, HAVE daughters, INTEND TO HAVE daughters, or INTEND TO DATE a daughter.

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five:
In order for us to get to know each other, you may think we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on his subject is "early."
Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my Daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided. Movies, which feature chainsaws, are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.




:D

[Monky]

I actually had a girls dad come to the door with a scattergun.. after I made a reference to Tombstone and 'street howitzer', we bonded.

Needless to say, the fact that her dad liked me, made the short time we were dating suck. Man did that girl have father issues.

[gcrookston]

I told my daughter she could get her hair cut the way she liked when she was 10, her ears pierced when she was 12, and date when she was 30...

She spent her 18th birthday at a fire control base in Afghanistan. She's 24 now in pre-med on the GI Bill.

I still won't let her date [Luck]

[BigMat]

I dated my dentist's daughter once...

That ended badly for me. I spent several years with a couple cavities and a night-stick shatter molar, but it was so much better than going back.

[Elhuero]

man, it never rains but it pours, eh mx'r?

I never had any dads try to intimidate me, would've been funny tho.

I did invite a girl shooting once, and her whole family ended up coming along because the folks didn't like the idea of their dear girl being around guns without them around. ... years later she married an AFA cadet. darn zoomies.

[DD977GM2]

I feel ya brother. I have a 14 year old daughter and so far she is more interested in doing well in school and sports then boys. I dread the day that I pick up her date and take them to where ever. [Bang]

[mcantar18c]

I've still got a few years before I have to enact this plan, but I made a coat hanger with a little shelf on it that sits close to and in plain view of the front door. When the time comes I will put a sharpie and a few boxes worth of shells on the shelf. When her date comes to pick her up and he tells me his name, I'll write it on a shell right there in front of him, tell him what time to have her home, and leave it at that.

[patrick0685]

Every girl I dated parents liked me

[mcantar18c]

Every girl I dated parents liked me

Same here. But my jeans have always fit as they should, I always showed up on time, and when I met their parents I always looked them right in the eye and gave a good firm hand shake. Its amazing how far the little things get you.

[Pistol Packing Preacher]

Little brother, the fisherman, took the young fellow that wanted to date his daughter on a fishing trip. He took him deep into an Alabama bayou. After a bit my little brother asked the young man “Do you know where you are?” The young lad said “No!” “Well”, said little brother “You introduce my daughter to drugs, sex or the like… this is where you will end up and they will never find you!” The rest of the fishing trip went very quietly! The young man never came back… to my niece’s chagrin! “What did you say to him, Dad?” She is still not married but has embarked on a college venture. True story!


[Beer]

[Geology Rocks]

I never want kids. My fear is that God is going to give me all girls as punishment.

The thought of my daughter sucking on some dudes knob infuriates me and I dont even have kids!

[ROFL2]

joe

[Elhuero]

years back I met a girl at a church activity.

we hit it off and started hanging out, but very early on her sister had a wedding. I'd be over there and get the whole "when's it gonna be your guys' turn!?!!" spheel.

was cute for the first, hour. then it got old real quick.

plus she had a harley riding uncle that tried the intimidation thing with me.

quit calling after that. hey, she had my number and never called either.

I'm a liberated man, don't need a woman to validate my existence!

[Guylee]

Dads that try to intimidate me just annoy me. I know I'm a good guy, get over yourself. Luckily my current lady's Dad loves me...because I'm a good guy.

[gnihcraes]

I always thought that the more you turned the screws on kids the more likely they would be to try stupid shit. Make everything taboo and you'll only encourage them.

Strict catholic family girls are the worst in my experience, anything and everything they are not supposed to do.

To this day I still want to beat the crap out of one girls father for how I'd seen he treated her. [Rant1]

[Seamonkey]

I dread the day that I pick up her date and take them to where ever. [Bang]


I'm her daddy... 0:26

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niLHR_Pbm74

[patrick0685]

Strict catholic family girls are the worst in my experience, anything and everything they are not supposed to do.

Yes but they can be fun

[970TJ]

I have 2 and 4 year old girls and I have nightmares about answering the door for a date for one of them and it being a 16 year old me. I was a "good guy"; hardworking, respectful, looked the dad in the eye, had a firm handshake, well dressed, and had a good job. In fact, I never was run off or disliked by the parents of any girl I dated. But I usually had one intention.....to get her nekkid! And it worked alot of the time.

I pity the first little harddicked bastard that comes to my front door. He's going to see just how fast lime breaks down human flesh, and the 50 will be on the living room floor! You guys with boys have it easy....you only have one pecker to worry about! Those of us with girls have to worry about 'em all![Rant1][UZI][ROFL1]

[970TJ]

Yes but they can be fun

Mormon girls too! I grew up in Salt Lake, and it was a riot. No middle ground....either in church, or wild as hell! And even the ones in church....if you could get one or two drinks in them, it was all over.

[Byte Stryke]

Strict catholic family girls are the worst in my experience, anything and everything they are not supposed to do.

To this day I still want to beat the crap out of one girls father for how I'd seen he treated her. [Rant1]



I have some very fond Memories of Catholic Girls as well as Mormon Girls...


I was the Kid every parent dreads.
72 Chevy Impala with a Back seat large enough to sleep a small Family.


Now I am "The crazy Uncle with too many guns."
No girls for me... just nieces.

:D

[HBARleatherneck]

delete

[bryjcom]

I have a 4 year old daughter. She already says she has a "boyfriend"

I'll will always tell her dates that her Daddy has a .45 and a shovel!!!!

[patrick0685]

I have 2 and 4 year old girls and I have nightmares about answering the door for a date for one of them and it being a 16 year old me. I was a "good guy"; hardworking, respectful, looked the dad in the eye, had a firm handshake, well dressed, and had a good job. In fact, I never was run off or disliked by the parents of any girl I dated. But I usually had one intention.....to get her nekkid! And it worked alot of the time.

we were very close to being the same...there were parents who were upset with their daughters when we broke up

[970TJ]

Me too. The "good guys" are equally if not more dangerous in terms of "taking the flower!"[ROFL2]

we were very close to being the same...there were parents who were upset with their daughters when we broke up

[Big Wall]

I have 2 boys. We all know what's going to happen. We all know there's nothing wrong with it as long as they're not stupid about it. To not be stupid about it, they just need to be taught how to not be stupid about it.

My wife was born and raised in Mexico. If you want to know what ignorance and lack of education about sex can lead to, she can tell you stories that will blow you away. My wife was told that she would learn about sex when she got married. Hell, when she was 8 and started her period they didn't even tell her what that was about. She thought she was dying until months down the road she found that she wasn't dead yet. She answered her curiosities thru books in the library and asking questions of teachers at school. She did not get pregnant as a teenager, she did not think it was the male who needed to take birth control pills, she did'nt deliberately get pregnant because she thought she was somehow infertal, she did not think you took one birth control pill only after having sex, she did not get pregnant and then have 1/2 the town feeling sorry for her because she told them she got pregnant by swimming in a pool that some disgusting boy must have jerked off in (yes, these are all true stories from one quite small town.)

The reason she didn't want to have sex was because she knew she didn't want to get pregnant and be as miserable as all the girls who had gotten pregnant were.

I guess that all I'm trying to say here is that education is the only cure for ignorance and stupidity. There is no cure for hormones.

[flan7211]

I did invite a girl shooting once, and her whole family ended up coming along because the folks didn't like the idea of their dear girl being around guns without them around. ... years later she married an AFA cadet. darn zoomies.[/quote]

Ha ha same exact story for me, including marrying the AFA douche.

[cwripinz]

I have some very fond Memories of Catholic Girls as well as Mormon Girls...

I was the Kid every parent dreads.
72 Chevy Impala with a Back seat large enough to sleep a small Family.

Now I am "The crazy Uncle with too many guns."
No girls for me... just nieces. :D

OMG!!! It's déjà vu all over again!! Only one difference... mine was a Black 1960 Cadillac Sedan de Ville... hell... the Trunk Could Sleep 6!! Other than that, same deal![LOL]

[Limited GM]

A kid who works for me told about going to pick up a girl. There sits Dad cleaning the shotgun. Yea he thinks, I've heard this stuff before, big deal, Im 6'2" and 225lbs. Dad finally explains what time she's to be home and then pulls a sharpie out, picks up a 12 gauge shell and asks him to spell Jarrod. He then writes his name on the shell, hands it to Jarrod and tells him to put it on the mantle next to the clock. He said it was all humerous till he sits it next to a fired shell that said "Josh". There was a kid who had dissappeared or ran off in their school named...Josh. Never seen again.

Funny sheet.

[GhostRider]

haha, yupp, I did just about the same thing to my daughters first date and my sister-in-laws first date along time ago, its just a daddy thing. hehehe

[BPTactical]

Every girl I dated parents liked me


This carries its own inherent problems.
Like when the Mom REALLY likes you....................
Like if Dad ever found out both his daughter and wife were enjoying the same guy............


It was complicated.........................

But-[Muaha] oh so enjoyable...........................[Coffee]

[mcantar18c]

This carries its own inherent problems.
Like when the Mom REALLY likes you....................
Like if Dad ever found out both his daughter and wife were enjoying the same guy............


It was complicated.........................

But-[Muaha] oh so enjoyable...........................[Coffee]


Great job with that one [ROFL1]

My experience wasn't all that complicated...

Girl (who I'd beed friends with for a while): "Don't tell my stepmom we're dating, she doesn't like you and I don't wanna have to put up with her bitching at me about it."

Stepmom: "Don't tell Lex... I'd never hear the end of it from her."

Girl went to school I'd be with the stepmom, stepmom went to work and girl came home from school I'd switch. Best part was they had a hot tub.

[ldmaster]

I stalked them on their date. Sat out in the parking lot at the movie theater.

I have lots of time!

[Glock Shooter]

I stalked them on their date. Sat out in the parking lot at the movie theater.

I have lots of time!

Oh absolutely!!! I'm not there yet. I have a 6'4" 16-year old son, dreams of lights and a basketball court, and I have instructed him about, well, you name, probably went a bit overboard but he understands. I have 2 daughters ages 6 and 2, I already apologized to them as they're beginning to understand how strict I am when it comes to dating. I really like the 10 rules listed earlier. I would add that my daughters will know that the first time I meet a boy they're interested in won't be when he comes to pick her up. By the time they go out on a 1 on 1 date I will have met him and his parents and we've had a nice heart to heart about my expectations.

P.S my wife wants to add that she will be assuming the role of protector and if anyone thinks they can go behind her back.....she'll find out!!!

[rockhound]

i have three daughters and a son none of them will be dating at 14,

sorry not gonna happen.

16 maybe if the kid standing at the door can pass the smell test. loaded the 12 ga with bean bag rounds, won't kill him (usually) but I think he will get message. i understand they can crack a rib


took some out to the range the other day. they are cool to shoot.

[K31Fan]

Trust in the fact that you've raised her to be a good young lady.

Ha! Good one! I *KNOW* that one doesn't work. [LOL]