View Full Version : Lame Joke of the day....
What was the last thing to go through bin Laden's head???
A bullet!
...couldn't resist this one. Nice job all...
Because I couldn't find the real Lame Joke of the Day Thread.
How does a New Age person change a light bulb?
They don't! They start a "Coping with Darkness" support group.
Zing!
Did you hear the one about the Margarine?
Eh, on second thought, I butter not tell you. You might spread it.
wctriumph
07-04-2011, 09:24
Why did the cop arrest the belt?
For holding up a pair of pants!
How come police have bigger balls than firemen??
They sell more tickets!
A guy walks into a bar...
And says OUCH
mcantar18c
07-04-2011, 15:27
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree . . . and think
25 to life would be appropriate.
--Jay Leno
America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
--Jay Leno
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
--Conan O'Brien
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
--Jay Leno
Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society.
The other is for housing prisoners.
-- David Letterman
Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean
and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!
--Jimmy Fallon
Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
--Jimmy Kimmel
Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.
-- David Letterman
A guy walks into a bar...
And says OUCH
WINNER!
Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
--Jimmy Kimmel
That made me chuckle.... hard. To think his dog is more legit then he is.
leatherneck448
07-04-2011, 22:27
what was the name of helen kellers dog?
asgsjhfahrifadsalhfb.
Where do you put a werewolf?
in a were-house.
why did helen keller burn her ear?
she answered the iron.
Why did helen keller burn her other ear?
it called back...
ZING! SHABANG!
Byte Stryke
07-05-2011, 08:27
What was the last thing to go through bin Laden's MIND???
A bullet!
...couldn't resist this one. Nice job all...
corrected,
Sorry, I couldn't take it anymore.
Love the Obama ones from night show hosts!
Kinda long, but always funny:
A penguin's car breaks down and he takes it to a mechanic. The mechanic says it'll take about 30 min to diagnose what's wrong and they can go from there. So the penguin goes across the street to a Baskin Robbins to kill time. He comes back after eating his ice cream and the mechanic has his answer.
"It looks like you blew a seal." Said the mechanic.
The penguin replies, "Oh no, this is just ice cream."
Byte Stryke
07-05-2011, 09:48
Love the Obama ones from night show hosts!
Kinda long, but always funny:
A penguin's car breaks down and he takes it to a mechanic. The mechanic says it'll take about 30 min to diagnose what's wrong and they can go from there. So the penguin goes across the street to a Baskin Robbins to kill time. He comes back after eating his ice cream and the mechanic has his answer.
"It looks like you blew a seal." Said the mechanic.
The penguin replies, "Oh no, this is just ice cream."
[ROFL1]
Why do elephants paint their toe nails red?
So they can hide in cherry trees.
Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a cherry tree?
'Cause it fucking works!
What's the brown stuff between the elephant's toe nails?
Slow natives.
What's the occaissional white stuff?
Slow white hunters.
What does an elephant use for kotex?
Sheep.
'Nother longer one, but I just found it in an old email:
Three pieces of rope (humor me) walk into a bar and the bartender tells them to get out, they don't serve rope. Outside they try to figure how they're going to get in. The first one puts on sunglasses and tries to go in disguised. Bartender says: "I already told you, we don't serve your kind." 2nd piece puts on a Hawaiian shirt and tries to get in. Same effect. 3rd one ties himself and messes up his hair. He walks in and the bartender says, "I thought I told your two buddies, we don't serve your kind here... you are a rope aren't you?"
The 3rd rope replies, "Frayed Knot."
Big Wall
07-05-2011, 18:24
A noble gas walks into a bar.
The bartender says "We dont serve your type in here."
The noble gas was non-reactive.
When you're 20, you brag to all your friends about the time you did the Reverse Cowgirl.
When you're 80, you brag to all your friends about your Reverse Mortgage.
I just made that up.
Scanker19
07-05-2011, 21:09
A guy walks into a bar...
And says OUCH
Ydu0DZjhEhs
TDYRanger
07-05-2011, 21:17
Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean
and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!
--Jimmy Fallon
Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
--Jimmy Kimmel
Ouch! it's so funny because it's so true[ROFL1][ROFL2][ROFL3][LOL]
[Beer]
Did you hear about the new lap dance they are doing at strip clubs? It's called the "Casey Anthony"
It takes 11 hours and they promise you will get off.
Byte Stryke
07-06-2011, 10:38
There are 10 types of people in the world.
Those that understand Binary and those that don't
http://jeffpicard.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/rim-shot-johnny-utah.jpg
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