View Full Version : Help me out here...
mevshooter
08-24-2011, 19:14
Why do people assume that because you're co-workers that THAT in itself automatically makes you friends, or should make one more inclined to feel obligated to hang out outside of work or participate in activities outside of work?
I am by no means a hermit or a recluse. I'm incredibly outgoing and the "life of the party" type, but geez... I have my own family and my own friends. Sure, if I end up working with somebody and our personalities click like that, an outside friendship situation is possible. But why is it expected? And why can it sometimes affect (or is it effect?) your potential for advancement in a company when a boss says "you're not being a team player" because I don't go to the bar 2 or 3 times a week after work with people? It has NOTHING to do with how I interact with people while on the clock, so it's B.S. that that can be considered for on the clock matters.
And (yeah, go ahead, I'm used to people talking crap) especially when people find out I don't drink?
And holy crap... I spend 8-10 hours a day with these people... I get to actually SPEND TIME with my wife maybe 2-3 hours a night after the baby is taken care of, we have eaten, and whatever other business that needs to be taken care of is accomplished. Sometimes it's only an hour. And the weekends? Please, that's when the real work begins sometimes, especially since I have online and weekend classes.
AH!!!!!
Okay, I feel better.
A- I don't trust people who don't drink.
and
B- I totally agree with you.
(Just kidding about "A" by the way)
I don't know why people think you are their "friend" just because you work together. Really baffles me. I am a bit more selective about who I consider my friends and don't just let my boss hire them for me. [Coffee]
DANGERTASTIC!
08-24-2011, 19:20
Im with you all the way on this one. Its like you were describing me at my place of work. How about getting chastized for not showing up to these social functions! This happened to me Monday morning when I didnt make it to the "annual BBQ", it was our sons Bday party.
And how about after you get after someone for not doing their job and they look at you like you're the biggest ass in the world. I feel ya
We have em, but hell we are all crazy bike riding drunk fuk'n sons o bitches and not showing up means death, or worse.
On the other hand maybe at our next PIG roast all you guys need to show up.
mevshooter
08-24-2011, 19:40
A- I don't trust people who don't drink.
I had a fire chief tell me that once... I was delivering his hot tub and he offered me a beer. "I don't trust a man who turns down a free beer."
I didn't get tipped... oh well. [Beer]
How about getting chastized for not showing up to these social functions! This happened to me Monday morning when I didnt make it to the "annual BBQ", it was our sons Bday party.
And how about after you get after someone for not doing their job and they look at you like you're the biggest ass in the world. I feel ya
So, almost every year, the owner of the company I work for does like a "fun day" where he pays us our 8 hours, and will take us to those fast go carts and benihana, or something similar. Well, since everyone on the crew found out he has a lake house (it's a pimped out double wide, I've been told) everyone just wants to go to the lake all day and ride in his boat, tube, etc. Here's my problem:
1) I'm not THAT much of a lake person. I enjoy fishing, maybe a little swimming, but my 300 pound butt get's KILLED out on the lake, so I stay closer to shore.
2) I really don't like anyone I work with. Most of them are stoners and pretty much completely worthless in their personal lives, so I have nothing to talk to them about.
I've always opted instead to put in a full days work, and skip the lake day. Last year, it wasn't that big of a problem, but for some reason the owner got somewhat upset. When my boss told him it was because "he doesn't think it's fair that he gets to go to the lake while his wife stays at home with the baby" the owner replied "well tell him to find a babysitter and bring the wife." Our babies 3 months old, she's our first, I'm not leaving her for an entire day+, not in me, and ESPECIALLY not with people I DON'T LIKE!!!!
But nooooooooo, I can't tell them that, because I'm an a**hole, and everyone is a butt hurt little girl... IT'S RIDICULOUS!!!!!
Luckily I used the TRUE excuse "our baby doesn't bottle feed, so we can't leave her for that long."
Now, I may have to work while others play, but I will be by MYSELF for an entire day, with no one checking in on my day, or bugging me about my progress.
On the other hand maybe at our next PIG roast all you guys need to show up.
Pig roasts are AWESOME.
And at least I know I'd have something to talk to you guys about.
I'm not anti-alcohol by any means. I'm not uncomfortable around people who drink, it's just a choice I made, for myself. No please, drink away. And when you get nice and drunk, I'll ask you for some money. Drunk people tend to be VERY generous.
[Neene1]
DSB OUTDOORS
08-24-2011, 19:41
On the other hand maybe at our next PIG roast all you guys need to show up.
WoooHooo party at Mtn.mans!! Let me know I'm there!! [Beer] Let me know what kind of BEER to bring other than Cold!
Will do we usually have one in May, ok always. But we are thinking of having an end of summer one this year sooo yeah will let you guys know.
Mev - please tell me you were kidding about expecting a tip for delivering a hot tub.
I'm a generous guy and all but it would NEVER cross my mind to "tip" a delivery person for a big ticket item - especially where the item is non-functional without delivery/setup. And no, I'm not talking about a pizza.
I guarantee that if I ever got any lip from a delivery person about no tip of a hard item (appliance, hot tub, etc) they would get an earfull as well as written complaint to their manager and preferably the owner of whatever shop.
Entitlement is out of line for doing your job.
Back on topic: Lack of self-esteem is one of the worst afflictions of this country and people who expect to hang or be friends with you outside of work suffer from this ailment. Ignore them and do your thing.
DANGERTASTIC!
08-24-2011, 20:14
But nooooooooo, I can't tell them that, because I'm an a**hole, and everyone is a butt hurt little girl... IT'S RIDICULOUS!!!!.
Just yesterday I had to yell at an employee about doing his job, he has been pawning his responsibilities off on two other people and its not their job, anyway, anytime you get after him its just excuse excuse interupt and more arguing.
He said "whatever" (my biggest pet peeve) and I proceeded to rip him up. He went home "Sick" an hour later. That afternoon, another employee informed me about his Facebook update which went something like
"I really hope the world comes to an end today!"
Wow....I would have got the wind knocked out of me for acting like a little bitch like that. But then again, hes one of those stretched ears girl pants wearers. Pussy
theGinsue
08-24-2011, 20:18
I agree with your OP Mev. In fact I had similar discussion like this @ work today with other members of my team.
I'm a government contractor and Friday the unit is having it's annual picnic. I NEVER go to the picnic's, Christmas party, etc. and only rarely go to "going away arties" - only then for folks I really like or someone on my team.
It bothers me that my company "strongly encourages" us to attend these events - telling us it's team building with the customer, etc. But, this is always followed up with "but this is not billable time".
So, let me get this straight... I'm encouraged to attend to help the company by building better relationships with the customer and other corporate team members. My behavior/appearance at these events will be judged just the same as if I were at work - and could negatively impact my employment. I'm expected to pay my own way for entry/participation - and all this without getting paid for it?
Naw. I'm already scheduled to be off work Friday and I think I'll enjoy the time AWAY from those I work with and maybe get a few things accomplished that I need to tend to. (Plus my wife is off that day too and wants to go for a drive in the mtn's).
Why do people assume that because you're co-workers that THAT in itself automatically makes you friends, or should make one more inclined to feel obligated to hang out outside of work or participate in activities outside of work?
I am by no means a hermit or a recluse. I'm incredibly outgoing and the "life of the party" type, but geez... I have my own family and my own friends. Sure, if I end up working with somebody and our personalities click like that, an outside friendship situation is possible. But why is it expected? And why can it sometimes affect (or is it effect?) your potential for advancement in a company when a boss says "you're not being a team player" because I don't go to the bar 2 or 3 times a week after work with people? It has NOTHING to do with how I interact with people while on the clock, so it's B.S. that that can be considered for on the clock matters.
And (yeah, go ahead, I'm used to people talking crap) especially when people find out I don't drink?
And holy crap... I spend 8-10 hours a day with these people... I get to actually SPEND TIME with my wife maybe 2-3 hours a night after the baby is taken care of, we have eaten, and whatever other business that needs to be taken care of is accomplished. Sometimes it's only an hour. And the weekends? Please, that's when the real work begins sometimes, especially since I have online and weekend classes.
AH!!!!!
Okay, I feel better.
I know exactly how you feel
My last job at a Ford dealer was like that
At the end of the day we were at the back door chuggin down brews and all was fine
Things changed once I got sober and got a program in my life
I got less work,well good paying work-I got stuck with all the comebacks,warenty work and everything else they dcouldn't make money on
Then eventualy when layoffs came I was the first to go because I "wasn't part of the team"
No bigee,I just landed a job at a VW dealer for twice as much as I was getting at Ford- Because I dont drink[Coffee]
Works for me[Tooth]
Sure its agrivating,but eventualy somthing good comes out of it
Bailey Guns
08-24-2011, 20:37
I guess I've been pretty lucky. I've never worked at a place where I didn't like hangin' out with the other employees.
At my current job, nobody seems to hang out together off the job. That's OK, too.
I think you're supposed to tip everyone who delivers things. Movers, appliance guys, tow truck drivers, etc. Not saying that I agree with it, just the way society is.
Mevshooter: I feel for your situation man. I've got enough friends and would rather hang out with my family. I'm open and very friendly, but I'm pretty leary of "work friends" any more. I bet the owner and your boss are the same type of guys who expect you to do that gay little bathroom dance about peeing a certain amount of toilets away from the next guy peeing. Those types of people piss me off. I really can't say anything that hasn't already been said. Good luck I guess.
DANGERTASTIC!
08-24-2011, 20:52
What is it with people today getting butthurt so easy? Everyone gets offended or someone callin you "Asshole" an sayin "You need to apologize to him!" To HIM! Why is everyone so overly sensitive???
I never had anyone go easy on me or follow me around holding my hand or wiping my ass.
Must be nice[BooHoo]lol
mevshooter
08-24-2011, 22:25
Mev - please tell me you were kidding about expecting a tip for delivering a hot tub.
I was COMPLETELY kidding about THAT specific instance.
I NEVER expect a tip. HOWEVER, when someone has a delivery that is ABOVE AND BEYOND what any "regular person" would consider reasonable, which happens A LOT with an, on average, 850+ (now upwards of 1600 for a swim spa) pound item that, contrary to the popular opinion of people who have never had to move the things, can be very difficult and bulky to move, tips do make things "all better."
I don't have an entitlement issue with my job, but people who expect the world to cater to their incredibly stupid choice of landscaping, choice of a narrow gate, decision to put a hot tub on an upper deck and NOT want to pay for a crane, expect my crew and myself to "level" their intended area for spa placement, or decision to live on a mountain side with absolutely no access, is just as much of an entitlement issue as people who expect a tip for making my coffee or burrito. Or people who expect to pay LESS and get more. It's a two way street with this issue most definitely.
And as far as the "no set up" comment, I can tell you for an item that's "not set up," I sure have had to spend literally HOURS with people answering questions. Which is above and beyond my job description. And our company specializes in "wet starts" where we either wait for the electrician to wire the tub or come back on a different day, fill it for them, get it running, set up the filter cycles, ad chemicals, etc, that DEFINITELY falls into a "big ticket item" that's set up.
We're not running some rinky dink spa moving operation where I work. We definitely do the whole "shabang."
But I digress.
Damn bastards at work!
There, back on topic.
DANGERTASTIC!
08-24-2011, 22:48
I think tipping is due when an individual provides another with a specific service. I rely on tipping regularly...alot of people dont know, and I dont expect it.
Also I think alot of people know to tip, but dont 'cause they are tight asses!:D
Sharpienads
08-25-2011, 00:15
We have a lot of these types of little get togethers at my AF squadron.
We like to call them "mandatory fun".
I don't see why just because we post on the same website, how we're supposed to just "help" you all the time.
;)
mevshooter
08-25-2011, 06:29
I don't see why just because we post on the same website, how we're supposed to just "help" you all the time.
;)
You smart ass.
[LOL]
How to deal with co-workers... By Edward Norton:
1e3mLmFScB8
Hence why I'm glad I work in the family business, where it's me, my old man, and one employee... we don't do "esprit de corps" bullshit, we don't hold hands, and if we do hang out outside of work (mostly just me and pops with my brother at a bar or something) it's usually good stuff like taking high-end clients to Avs and Rockies games or one of our companies taking us somewhere. But mev, I hear you, and I remember in my Army days they had "team building" or "moral boosting" events that were pseudo mandatory- meaning you either go to "semi-mandatory fun day" and are forced to hang out with people you normally wouldn't even help change a tire, or they put you on 24-hour staff duty... The only difference was there was no alcohol. I admire guys like you who admittedly don't drink and don't try to preach the consequences to those that do... plus having guys like you around means I give you a $20 and I have a safe ride home! [Beer] <-yours is O'Douls... [Tooth]
Yeah we are all family here so we have to feel the love. Not much of that hey what you doing this weekend, we already know.LOL
You can always get yourself a real job where you're not surrounded by a bunch of panty waist office types???
ronaldrwl
08-25-2011, 11:58
Hmm, not sure how to react. If you like the people around you why not be friendly. If you don't like them, then 'your busy'. Sounds like we have some curmudgeons on this forum. Or did I miss the point?
Don't use big words. "curmudgeons" without proper definition.
Grouchy...
mevshooter
08-25-2011, 12:36
I admire guys like you who admittedly don't drink and don't try to preach the consequences to those that do... plus having guys like you around means I give you a $20 and I have a safe ride home! [Beer] <-yours is O'Douls... [Tooth]
YES!!!! You get it! You understand, that guys like you, need guys like me. We make sure you get home safe, and don't take home any coyote dates, or tranny's.
Unless you're into that kind of thing... then the going rate is $50!
HA!
You can always get yourself a real job where you're not surrounded by a bunch of panty waist office types???
This is a blue collar delivery job. Unfortunately, they're EVERYWHERE!!!!! haha
Hmm, not sure how to react. If you like the people around you why not be friendly. If you don't like them, then 'your busy'. Sounds like we have some curmudgeons on this forum. Or did I miss the point?
I think you might have missed my intended point. It's not about being "friendly," I pride myself in my ability to be friendly to just about anyone. My company depends on my "every man" personality to be able to properly deal with and help solve or ease difficult situations and people. So with that, I can admit that it's probably partially my fault why people may assume I want to hang out with them on the weekends, being so "friendly" to them and what not.
This is more about the expectation that people have towards their coworkers in regards to EXPECTING them to come to the bars after work, or EXPECTING people to come to weekend or off time get togethers.
Honestly, "I'm busy", "I have plans," people are incredibly persistent, and often won't take no for an answer. That opens up the entirely new topic of "boundaries" that a lot of people just don't have, but that's a different topic for a different day.
Unfortunately in the overly sensitive, sugar coated society we live in, if I say "I don't spend personal time with coworkers, i don't mix business and personal life" people become incredibly offended, gossip about me, and now my job becomes more difficult as people either won't help me when I need them, or will intentionally make my life difficult.
If that makes me a curmudgeon, then I guess I'm a big nasty curmudgeon. [Twist]
Is a curmudgeon what happens when Kermit the Frog... eats a McMuffin... in a Geo?
Because if it is... DAMN.
On the other hand maybe at our next PIG roast all you guys need to show up.
a date and an invite is in order![Beer]
YES!!!! You get it! You understand, that guys like you, need guys like me. We make sure you get home safe, and don't take home any coyote dates, or tranny's.
Unless you're into that kind of thing... then the going rate is $50!
HA!
Except when your friends try to be funny and don't tell you in your current state of inebriation that the 10 you're talking to is really a 5 and you shouldn't proceed with going home with her, then you get laughed on for weeks! Man my friends can be assholes, and whiskey makes my judgement go right out the window! But still tranny free (for now, we'll see how "cool" my friends are in the coming months).
a date and an invite is in order![Beer]
Talked to the boys last night we are theying to come up with a date, not too cold, can't interfere with hunting etc...
Inspector Fowler
08-25-2011, 17:45
I rarely make work friends. Sometimes you just hit it off with one or two people and you end up becoming legitimate buddies, but while I am friendly with almost everybody I work with I never hang out with them.
I don't go to a work social function like a BBQ or dinner unless I am forced to by my supervisor. At least then I get paid for it.
Like you mentioned, each of us spends 40 or more hours a week with co-workers, and unless you just luck out and all your co-workers kick ass, there isn't much reason to hang out with them beyond that.
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