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TSOTSI
11-02-2011, 22:56
New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!



http://i282.photobucket.com/albums/kk251/Frisbeetarianism/buyavowel.jpg




I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to
track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to
join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take
us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit
until you're at least 35.



For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about
sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about
sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000
additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.



Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a
cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't
sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe
letting us kill some ******* that desperately deserves it
will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile..



An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys
always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I
said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may
as well be up killing somefanatical son-of-a-bitch.



If captured we couldn't spill thebeans because we'd forget where
we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number
would be a real brainteaser.



Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting
screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also
developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them
for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the
screaming and yelling.



They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've
been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope
hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after
completing basic training.



Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've
never seen anyone outrun a bullet.



An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still
learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl.
He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to
shade his eyes, not the back of his head.



These are all great reasons to keepour kids at home to learn a little
more about life before sending them off into harm's way.



Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The
last thing an enemy would want tosee is a couple million pissed off
old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know
that their best years are already behind them.



HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!!
You think MEN have attitudes??



Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on
border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!

Send this to all of your senior friends...it's in big type so they can read it.

SAnd
11-03-2011, 00:27
Could you post that again? I can't hear you.

islandermyk
11-03-2011, 00:33
Good one there [ROFL1]

roberth
11-03-2011, 06:52
[Beer]

mopar
11-03-2011, 07:08
Old farts rule.[Beer]

alxone
11-03-2011, 07:29
blasterbob needs to read this [ROFL1]

n8tive97
11-03-2011, 08:01
Good stuff.....[Beer]

Sharpienads
11-03-2011, 08:08
Very nice!

Of course they'll probably change their minds the first time they have to climb some God forsaken mountain in the Hindu Kush with 80lbs on their back and a rifle in their hands...

At night, uphill both ways, in the snow, barefoot, blah, blah, blah.

ruthabagah
11-03-2011, 09:17
Excellent

BlasterBob
11-03-2011, 09:24
blasterbob needs to read this [ROFL1]

BlasterBob HAS read that and I have been saying the same thing for quite some time now. If this 75 year old fart goes into the Recruiters office saying that he's interested in joining up to shoot some rag hea-s, they'd probably throw me out for not being PC enough. However, some of us very mature fellows could still drive a support truck for our troops if they'd let us - that is IF they could trust our driving![ROFL3]

Guylee
11-03-2011, 12:00
"I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet!"

[ROFL1] pure genius.

StagLefty
11-03-2011, 13:45
that is IF they could trust our driving![ROFL3]

At least we wouldn't be texting while we were driving [Beer]

Ronin13
11-03-2011, 13:59
Very nice!

Of course they'll probably change their minds the first time they have to climb some God forsaken mountain in the Hindu Kush with 80lbs on their back and a rifle in their hands...

At night, uphill both ways, in the snow, barefoot, blah, blah, blah.

I'll be telling those stories to my kids... What? The TV is too loud for you to sleep? Try sleeping through two CH-47s coming in to resupply the FARP at 3AM when you just got to sleep an hour ago. Oh some boy made fun of you and bullied you at school? Try having guys shoot at you, then when you think all's well they shoot rockets at you!
Damn kids, they have it so easy! [Coffee]

BlasterBob
11-03-2011, 14:46
At least we wouldn't be texting while we were driving [Beer]

Damn straight!! [Beer]