You Just Can't Make this Crap up.

[SuperiorDG]

After seeing a few of these crazy stories I thought I would put up a thread where we can post up stuff that is so crazy it just can't be made up.

Here is the start:
Police: Boulder woman ran Chihuahua alongside car, faces cruelty charge

Joan Zalk also accused of felony menacing over remark about gun
By Erica Meltzer, Camera Staff Writer (meltzere@dailycamera.com?subject=Boulder%20Daily% 20Camera:)
Posted: 09/20/2011 10:52:41 AM MDT
Updated: 09/20/2011 06:15:33 PM MDT

http://extras.mnginteractive.com/live/media/site21/2011/0920/20110920_105326_zalk_200.jpg (http://www.dailycamera.com/portlet/article/html/imageDisplay.jsp?contentItemRelationshipId=3975898 )Joan Zalk (Boulder County Sheriff's Office)



A Boulder acupuncturist and yoga instructor has been accused of animal cruelty after several witnesses told police she was running a Chihuahua at a pace of 10 to 15 mph alongside her car as she drove down a city street last week.


Link (http://www.dailycamera.com/boulder-county-news/ci_18936457?IADID=Search-www.dailycamera.com-www.dailycamera.com)


Boulder yoga instructor Joan Zalk pleads guilty to running Chihuahua alongside car


Posted: 05/21/2012 11:01:54 AM MDT
Updated: 05/21/2012 11:21:26 AM MDT
By Mitchell Byars, Camera Staff Writer
http://extras.mnginteractive.com/live/media/site21/2012/0521/20120521__22DCAZALw_200.jpg (http://www.denverpost.com/portlet/article/html/imageDisplay.jsp?contentItemRelationshipId=4420802 ) Joan Renee Zalk (Boulder County Sheriff's Office)



A Boulder yoga instructor and acupuncturist accused of running a Chihuahua outside her car as she drove it down the street pleaded guilty to misdemeanor animal cruelty charges last week.



Read more: Boulder yoga instructor Joan Zalk pleads guilty to running Chihuahua alongside car - The Denver Post (http://www.denverpost.com/breakingnews/ci_20672338/boulder-yoga-instructor-joan-zalk-pleads-guilty-running#ixzz1vXD2nrw7) http://www.denverpost.com/breakingnews/ci_20672338/boulder-yoga-instructor-joan-zalk-pleads-guilty-running#ixzz1vXD2nrw7
Read The Denver Post's Terms of Use of its content: http://www.denverpost.com/termsofuse

[Zundfolge]

The funny part isn't the running of the Chihuahua, the funny part is that she threatened some other Boulderite with a gun.

[aahorn]

thats a women? whoa.. you cant make that crap up

[Ronin13]

thats a women? whoa.. you cant make that crap up

Yeah really! I wouldn't hit that with borrowed equipment.
That's kinda funny, a chihuahua... I didn't think they were capable of anything faster than maybe 2MPH.

[Cameron]

Huh?

A Boulder Yoga instructor that is as crazy as a shit house rat? Why am I not surprised.

Cameron

[Great-Kazoo]

I don't believe she is a boulder resident since she does not have a hyphenated last name. Joan Zalk-Doe then yes but just Joan Zalk, not buying it.

[68Charger]

I don't believe she is a boulder resident since she does not have a hyphenated last name. Joan Zalk-Doe then yes but just Joan Zalk, not buying it.

That would require finding someone willing to hyphenate with her...

[RMAC757]

Huh?

A Boulder Yoga instructor that is as crazy as a shit house rat? Why am I not surprised.

Cameron

This

[Bailey Guns]

That would require finding someone willing to hyphenate with her...

No. This.

[Ah Pook]

No, no you can't make this stuff up.

Another example from last year..
http://www.dailycamera.com/boulder-county-news/ci_18343642

Police: Luke Chrisco, Boulder potty-peeping suspect, used 'peepholes' to spy in other restroom

A man accused of hiding in a portable toilet at a yoga festival and then running from security covered in feces last weekend has admitted that he used a series of "peepholes" to spy on women in more Boulder-area restrooms, according to detectives.

[TFOGGER]

That would require finding someone willing to hyphenate with her...


I am now repeatedly pushing my mental delete key, in a vain quest to expunge that particular mental image...

[quondom fremd]

No, no you can't make this stuff up.

Another example from last year..
http://www.dailycamera.com/boulder-county-news/ci_18343642

I remember hearing about this story, and hearing that he evaded the police for a little while.

I thought, hell, I would have let him "evade" me until he showered too.

[Danimal]

We can't forget about this little gem:

http://www.dailycamera.com/news/ci_19458373

[SuperiorDG]

Dad saves boy before car plunges down cliff -- and gets pair of traffic tickets


A New Jersey dad got the scare of his life when his 5-year-old son almost ran off a steep embankment, and though the man saved the boy from falling, he couldn't stop his Jeep from going over the precipice and into a river below.
The reward for his ordeal? Two traffic tickets from local police.
Frank Roder, a construction worker from the town of Winfield Park, had taken his son, Aidan, down to the Rahway River to feed ducks Thursday. But when he stopped briefly before settling on a parking space, the impatient boy jumped out and took off -- straight toward a ledge 35 feet above the river, Roder recalled.
"He hopped out, and I thought that was OK, I was just going to park," Roder, 38, said, but "he just took off, made a beeline for the edge."

"Um, Daddy ..."- Aidan, as he watched his dad's Jeep roll off an embankment.

The panic-stricken father jumped out of the cab of his 2006 Jeep Commander and raced after the errant boy, catching him just feet from the edge.
That's when Aidan, eyes as big as saucers, looked behind Roder and said, "Um, Daddy ..."



Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/05/21/saves-his-kid-loses-his-car-and-gets-ticket/?test=latestnews#ixzz1vbOtjghd

[DD977GM2]

She is a beautiful lady, I want her number[ROFL1]

[rondog]

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b150/rinselman/funnies/OompaHitIt.jpg

[Zundfolge]

Dad saves boy before car plunges down cliff -- and gets pair of traffic tickets

He was counting his blessings when a young cop approached him and handed him two tickets. One was for failure to produce the insurance card, which was somewhere in the waterlogged cab. The other was for failing to use his emergency brake.
"I couldn't believe it," Roder said. "He said, 'If you would have taken the five seconds to apply the brake, this never would have happened!'
"I say, 'Really? And if I did and my boy stepped over the edge and fell instead of the Jeep, then were would I be?' He says, 'Jail, for child endangerment.'"
Clear cut case of "Affirmative Defense of Necessity" (http://www.free-press-release.com/news-new-jersey-affirmative-defense-of-necessity-1255977805.html) ... if he goes to court he'll win.

Now the little Nazi needs to be fired.

[45XD]

thats a women? whoa.. you cant make that crap up
+1
Course in Boulder, it's all a crapshoot anyway...

[TFOGGER]

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b150/rinselman/funnies/OompaHitIt.jpg

Is that Snooki on the left?

[hghclsswhitetrsh]

Namaste.

[TFOGGER]

Namaste.

More like ShagNastay...

[DavieD55]

Here is one that comes to mind.

Kidnapper Sues His Hostages For $235000 To Cover - Daily Mail (http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=kidnapper%20sues%20hostages&source=web&cd=4&ved=0CEsQFjAD&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailymail.co.uk%2Fnews%2Farti cle-2067917%2FKidnapper-Jesse-Dimmick-sues-hostages-235-000.html&ei=YGq8T-aLBYbciQLQ4tj0DQ&usg=AFQjCNHyxfY6seFomdhPWDu4cqPJsYMNqg)

[King]

No, no you can't make this stuff up.

Another example from last year..
http://www.dailycamera.com/boulder-county-news/ci_18343642

This is exactly what I thought of when I read the title of this thread

[jackthewall81]

Fun town to live in! Sheriff basically hands out tax stamps for suppressors!

[Ronin13]

Is that Snooki on the left?

I thought it was Snooki on the Right... [ROFL1]

[SuperiorDG]

Man arrested in drunken driving stunt after taking zebra, parrot on a trip to a bar



Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/05/23/man-arrested-for-drunk-driving-after-taking-zebra-parrot-on-trip-to-bar/#ixzz1viMtPVBi

[opie011]

Man arrested in drunken driving stunt after taking zebra, parrot on a trip to a bar



Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/05/23/man-arrested-for-drunk-driving-after-taking-zebra-parrot-on-trip-to-bar/#ixzz1viMtPVBi


Damn beat me to it...:that shit is whack!!

[Ronin13]

Man arrested in drunken driving stunt after taking zebra, parrot on a trip to a bar



Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/05/23/man-arrested-for-drunk-driving-after-taking-zebra-parrot-on-trip-to-bar/#ixzz1viMtPVBi


Am I the only one that finds excessive silliness in that story- he went to a bar called the Dog House? [LOL]

[SuperiorDG]

Police probe bovine beer bash in Boxford



BOXFORD, Mass. -
Lt. James Riter and officer Joseph Borodawka were called to Main Street, Boxford for an animal complaint Sunday night that involved a half-dozen cows on a drinking spree, our news partner Wicked Local/Boxford (http://www.wickedlocal.com/boxford) reported.


Read more: http://www.wcvb.com/news/local/boston-north/Police-probe-bovine-beer-bash-in-Boxford/-/11984708/14128568/-/13u8rs2/-/index.html#ixzz1vt6dBzZX

[SuperiorDG]

$325 in airline baggage fees? Surely you joust!

By Lauren King (http://hamptonroads.com/2007/10/lauren-king)
The Virginian-Pilot
© May 25, 2012 The Black Knight was the last to board the flight to Charlotte, N.C.
Wearing 80 pounds of armor, including chain mail, a chest plate and a cowboy hat with feathers trailing behind, he clanked to his seat on the aisle. Then he buckled in.
It was uncomfortable but worth it.


http://hamptonroads.com/2012/05/325-airline-baggage-fees-surely-you-joust

[SuperiorDG]

Drunken teen killed by own ricocheted gunshot in southern Texas

MCALLEN, Texas – A drunk 17-year-old died in southern Texas after a bullet he shot at a butane tank ricocheted back and hit him in the head.
Israel Torres fired the shot with a semi-automatic handgun in the backyard of a home near McAllen, Texas, shortly before 11:30pm Monday night, The Monitor reported. (http://www.themonitor.com/news/shooting-61548-south-accidentally.html)http://global.fncstatic.com/static/all/img/external-link.png
"It was just an accident under the influence of alcohol," Hidalgo County Sheriff Lupe Trevino said Tuesday.
Trevino said deputies found Torres' father and his two sons had been drinking heavily prior to the incident.
"All three are pretty drunk when someone pulls a .380-caliber, semi-automatic [handgun] and shoots it into the backyard," Trevino said. "The 17-year-old gets it and tells his girlfriend, 'Here, look, pull the trigger.'"
When the teen's girlfriend refused to handle the gun, Torres pulled out the gun's clip and turned to a butane tank, the Monitor reported.
"He fires one time and shoots himself in the head," Trevino said, adding that Torres' family was living in the U.S. illegally.
Deputies are investigating whether the father bore any criminal responsibility in the death of his son.
McAllen is located 250 miles south of San Antonio, near the Mexican border.




Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/06/13/drunken-teen-killed-by-own-ricocheted-gunshot-in-southern-texas/?test=latestnews#ixzz1xgUCrnsl

[T-Giv]

Great so illegally in the country and they are going to be behaving like that? Now they get to tie up tax payer resources and have the cops conduct a huge investigation when they aren't even legally here. I wish that was made up!

[68Charger]

When the teen's girlfriend refused to handle the gun, Torres pulled out the gun's clip and turned to a butane tank, the Monitor reported.


Butane tank?
That's one big azz cigarette lighter... do they use it for lighting bales of MJ?

[DavieD55]

Ex-judge Donald Thompson, busted for using penis pump during ... (http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=judge%20using%20penis%20pump%20during%20court&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CE0QFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nydailynews.com%2Fnews%2Fnati onal%2Fex-judge-donald-thompson-busted-penis-pump-trials-pension-cut-article-1.968325&ei=jd34T-H1Fof89QTMo5j4Bg&usg=AFQjCNGbmToJ6JK10KbkNjj-1bHpXleYDQ)

[Ah Pook]

Ex-judge Donald Thompson, busted for using penis pump during ... (http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=judge%20using%20penis%20pump%20during%20court&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CE0QFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nydailynews.com%2Fnews%2Fnati onal%2Fex-judge-donald-thompson-busted-penis-pump-trials-pension-cut-article-1.968325&ei=jd34T-H1Fof89QTMo5j4Bg&usg=AFQjCNGbmToJ6JK10KbkNjj-1bHpXleYDQ)
Nowhere in that article did it mention if the pump actually worked or not. Well?







[Swim]

[DavieD55]

Nowhere in that article did it mention if the pump actually worked or not. Well?







[Swim]

I suspect the judge was trying to flex his muscle with a hung jury.

[Adawg38]

No, no you can't make this stuff up.

Another example from last year..
http://www.dailycamera.com/boulder-county-news/ci_18343642


Something about those freaking Boulderites! I know there's more stories like this with guys hiding in Porta Potties to watch women do what 99.9% of men don't care about.

[Ah Pook]

Something about those freaking Boulderites! I know there's more stories like this with guys hiding in Porta Potties to watch women do what 99.9% of men don't care about.
Pretty sure he was living in Vail.

[Adawg38]

Pretty sure he was living in Vail.


Yup, guess I should of read the article. I just remember the story and figured he lived in Boulder.