View Full Version : Women and cars...
Bailey Guns
09-21-2012, 09:39
Is it just me or is anyone else married to a woman who absolutely cannot drive a vehicle in reverse?
I watched my wife attempt to maneuver her Traverse out of the garage and around our pickup. It really was pathetic. Turn wheel sharply, back up 8", turn wheel sharply, forward 6", maneuver vehicle into worse position for getting around truck than before, open door and look at truck as if expecting it to move, forward, back, wear bald spot on tires while turning wheel lock-to-lock on driveway without moving, open door, look exasperated, close door, open door again, pull forward...
OK, enough. I opened the window and waited for her to open the door again and yelled to get her attention.
"You need to come move this truck", she yells.
"No. You need to learn how to drive", I respond.
"Turn your wheel completely to the left." She does. "Now, put the car in reverse and back up." She does. She's clear of the pickup. Gives me a "F**K YOU" look and drives away.
She's OK driving forward. But, I swear upon all that is sacred, she shouldn't be allowed to own a vehicle with a reverse gear.
She's on the road in the metro area fellas. Don't say I didn't warn you.
She off to get you some IKEA meatballs again?
Mine backed up and hit a friends Expedition at the end of the driveway in our Explorer, essentially sideswiped the Explorer on the grill guard of the Expedition. Said she never saw it. 6000lb 7 ft tall bright red box, level with the mirror- understandable.
hghclsswhitetrsh
09-21-2012, 09:52
Mine is allergic to gas pumps.
You may want to turn your sound down before opening....Oldie but still hilarious
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wT7zM8XgXQ
StagLefty
09-21-2012, 09:59
Apparently the vehicles in Mexico don't have reverse either (I know racist huh ?)
Almost all of my neighbors are from south of the border and they either back into oncoming vehicles,almost hit pedestrians, or damn near back all the way across the street into other people's yards. This is all from their own driveways. [Coffee]
Mine drives pretty well for a woman, but she becomes 7' tall and bulletproof behind the wheel giving people the finger and throwing her hands up! I tell her to stop cause one day she might come across a guy who doesn't care that shes and eat one in the eye! Be aware guys she has a bad temper!
In before you're all castrated! [ROFL1]
Teufelhund
09-21-2012, 10:10
Hilarious, BG.
My ex was a ridiculously bad driver. Her daddy bought her a really sweet, clean little Mustang when she graduated HS, a '90s model with the tank on the passenger side. The first time she went to fill it up she dragged the entire right side across one of the white poles in front of the pump.
Later that same year, she was driving down a rural street (leaving my house), where they had just dug out the ditches on both sides and made them pretty deep. She reached into the console for something and as she looked away, she pushed the steering wheel to the left, drove off the road into the ditch and hit it at what was apparently such a high rate of speed that she landed high up in a large tree on the other side. We had to total it after that one.
Yes Bailey. Mine and especially her sister cannot park a vehicle to save her life. Might as well not even be paint on the ground. Constantly blocking driveways as well.
Mine can't back the damn smart car out of our driveway without taking at least 3 cuts at it. She drifts into the hedge on the right side, or runs out of room against the neighbor's cars on the left side. It never occurs to her to just leave the damn steering wheel straight [Rant1]
Great-Kazoo
09-21-2012, 10:12
Not mine, She handles a sub compact and truck with trailer the same. Splitting lanes, that's where she lacks finesse.
We have brick pillars at the end of our driveway on both sides. My wife, maybe 5 months ago, backed up and drug the side of her car against one of the pillars, from the rear bumper all the way to the back door. *facepalm*
tmleadr03
09-21-2012, 10:27
If you want to know why women are such bad drivers and judges of distance it is because for years men have been telling them that this [ _______________________ ] is six inches. Totally screws their judgement of distance for everything else.
Snowman78
09-21-2012, 10:27
Mine is allergic to gas pumps.
Yep mine too, and it always works out that when I need her car it has no gas so I have to fill it up. I even let her run out once and walk to the gas station with a gas can. I thought that would teach her a lesson..... NOPE
Whistler
09-21-2012, 10:35
On the rare occasion I ride with my wife I simply can not watch anything that's going on with the vehicle and just stare out the side window. She is the most timid, indecisive driver I've ever encountered, backing up is just out of the question. [Help]
Mine backs up OK, but her throttle control is atrocious. I can't ride on the highway with her driving without getting carsick. She appears to have no fine motor control in her right foot so her idea of speed control is to hit the gas, go too fast, let off the gas, go too slowly. Repeat every 10 seconds. To make it just that much more enjoyable, she's terrified of cruise control. I drive everywhere when we are together because I can't stand it. The only time she drives is when I've been drinking. Her throttle control is especially fascinating when I've had too much to drink. Makes me nauseated just thinking about it.
hghclsswhitetrsh
09-21-2012, 10:52
Mine can't back the damn smart car out of our driveway without taking at least 3 cuts at it. She drifts into the hedge on the right side, or runs out of room against the neighbor's cars on the left side. It never occurs to her to just leave the damn steering wheel straight [Rant1]
I swear I'm not a stalker, but is it a yellow one? If so I saw it pulling a small trailer heading east on colfax just past airport blvd last week. In fact the day of the monsoon rain.
Is it just me or is anyone else married to a woman who absolutely cannot drive a vehicle in reverse?
I watched my wife attempt to maneuver her Traverse out of the garage and around our pickup. It really was pathetic. Turn wheel sharply, back up 8", turn wheel sharply, forward 6", maneuver vehicle into worse position for getting around truck than before, open door and look at truck as if expecting it to move, forward, back, wear bald spot on tires while turning wheel lock-to-lock on driveway without moving, open door, look exasperated, close door, open door again, pull forward...
OK, enough. I opened the window and waited for her to open the door again and yelled to get her attention.
"You need to come move this truck", she yells.
"No. You need to learn how to drive", I respond.
"Turn your wheel completely to the left." She does. "Now, put the car in reverse and back up." She does. She's clear of the pickup. Gives me a "F**K YOU" look and drives away.
She's OK driving forward. But, I swear upon all that is sacred, she shouldn't be allowed to own a vehicle with a reverse gear.
She's on the road in the metro area fellas. Don't say I didn't warn you.
[ROFL1] I get that look a lot
I swear I'm not a stalker, but is it a yellow one? If so I saw it pulling a small trailer heading east on colfax just past airport blvd last week. In fact the day of the monsoon rain.
Yellow Smart, covered in TFOG Wheelsports stickers. No trailer, but has a cargo carrier/bike carrier on the back. We live out that way, so it's likely it's ours.
My wife backed into a tree in our driveway within the first six months of our marriage...she can't park downtown [Help]
At least your wife only has problems with reverse! Mine has trouble with forward as well. I am not sexist, there are many women in my family who drive perfectly well, my wife is not one of them. Constantly on and off the throttle, swerving it's unbearable. She has refused to drive if I am in the car for the last 3 years, and I am perfectly ok with it.
My girl is one of the best female drivers handles anything like a champ. My mom also she was driving fully loaded gooseneck parallel parked it on college ave in foco first try one time
My wife does fairly well considering she is a woman. I try to cut her as much slack as possible. Even she has begun to realize that most of the poor driving out on the road can be attributed to either q-tips, asians, or females. We will be driving along and see some horrid lane change or something and she will say, "Must be a woman". Cracks me up. She has had her fair share of "Baby, seriously?" moments but overall she does fine. Makes me wonder how f-ed up insurance is that women get better rates than men.
hghclsswhitetrsh
09-21-2012, 12:15
Yellow Smart, covered in TFOG Wheelsports stickers. No trailer, but has a cargo carrier/bike carrier on the back. We live out that way, so it's likely it's ours.
Yup that was it. [Beer]
Glad I'm not the only one with a wife that won't drive if I am in the car. My over bearing asshole tone causes her to lock up and it compounds the problem.
dwalker460
09-21-2012, 13:48
Mine managed to back into my Evo the Monday after it got out of the bodyshop. She has also terrified the tree at the end of our drive several times. She also managed to hit a cop car in a parking lot when it was all snowy and icy. BUT WAIT... Theres more...
My wife is Chinese, and really did not drive at all until she moved here to Denver (before we met) and even then did not drive much. After we got married and she got her first job after graduating, she still did not drive much the first year or so, because she worked downtown and took the bus or I drove her. Then she changed jobs, and she had to drive every day. She had a e36 BMW sedan, which she managed to hit several things- guardrails, trees, my Evo, assorted other vehicles, etc with. Never did any actual damage, buuuuut... well it was interesting.
Then she wanted a newer car, especially once the boy was born. She wanted a Camry, I had none of that and we got a Cayenne. Despite my misgivings she has become a decent driver, even driving the truck and trailer with me on occasion (no backing that up though!) and I figured that at least in the Cayenne, much like a Panzer Tank, there isnt much that she can hit that will do actual damage.
First week she had it she was rear-ended by a Ford Contour- tore the crap out of the contour, radiator punctured and towed off, the Cayenne had a tiny little scratch.
Few months later, we are up in Estes at a rented cabin and she backs out of the drive and nearly off the ledge with a good 8ft drop down to the neighbors yard, sorta perched there like a movie shot. She was terrified but I just put it into high-terrain mode, locked the front, center, and rear diffs, and drove back up on the road.
So her driving is improving, but be careful folks, she did drive to work today..
As ya know we do alot of trailers, and alot of them are horse trailers pulled by women drivers.
That is why we offer P/U and delivery, it is frightening watching a women try to back up a nice horse trailer into my rock wall or over the edge into the trees.
I beleive most of them that attend events must pull in forward and leave that way.
hopefully.
However for those that don't keeps our repair business good.
The Pseudo-GF (we're not official...yet) I swear is too much like my mother, great driver, but 5 UNDER the speed limit is her absolute max. I'm the kind that always does +5, so this naturally confuses me- but I get it... oh and backing up is just fine though. I think I'm pretty lucky.[Coffee]
SuperiorDG
09-21-2012, 16:30
LTKFaBvW6oc
http://i607.photobucket.com/albums/tt159/Givnasty/funny-pictures-women-driver_zps0ca6424e.jpg
ronaldrwl
09-21-2012, 17:14
This is one of my most challenging aspects of our marriage.
1st – the gas pedal is only a on/off device. Floor it or completely off.
2nd – she will make 40 turns back and forth in order to turn the car around to avoid backing out of our driveway.
3rd – merging onto the freeway (god please help. I can't watch).
4th – Giving directions will be the cause of our divorce. “Turn here!” You mean the road we just past?
5th – (Speedometer says 50mph) “The speed limit is 65.... I'm just saying....”[Roll1]
Holger Danske
09-21-2012, 17:21
My wife can drive. It is one of the reasons I married her. The only thing she doesnt care for is backing the 26' camper into a tight space. Other than that she is great. She can even hook the horse trailer up by herself. I guess i'm one of the lucky ones.
I think my wife can probably drive, just not with me in the car. Most of her cars have been manuals at least.
tmleadr03
09-21-2012, 17:41
I need to send my wife to a class to learn how to drive a manual car. That way she can drive my cars if she needs to. I can not teach her. Not because she cant learn, but because she cant learn from me. Any ideas?
bigun1962
09-21-2012, 17:43
That 4 inch patch of H#$@ rules the world.
My wife can't drive forward or reverse. Has wrecked every car she's ever been behind the wheel of. The best one is she hit a car at the boat launch parking lot at cherry creek. Launched the boat and let her park the truck and trailer. Should have been safe because there was only one car in the entire parking lot....yet she hit it.
Goodburbon
09-21-2012, 17:51
My wife could drive before she had kids. Now she's a little handicapped. She still does ok, but she's definitely lost her edge.
Mine is allergic to gas pumps.
Same here, every time I get in her car I have to fill it up.
clublights
09-21-2012, 18:16
I need to send my wife to a class to learn how to drive a manual car. That way she can drive my cars if she needs to. I can not teach her. Not because she cant learn, but because she cant learn from me. Any ideas?
Drink.
That's how I taught an ex to drive stick .. I got tipsy and it was much easier for me to remain calm LOL
Mine backs up OK, but her throttle control is atrocious. I can't ride on the highway with her driving without getting carsick. She appears to have no fine motor control in her right foot so her idea of speed control is to hit the gas, go too fast, let off the gas, go too slowly. Repeat every 10 seconds. To make it just that much more enjoyable, she's terrified of cruise control. I drive everywhere when we are together because I can't stand it This is my wife to a T...and put a trailer behind her and GOD help us all if she has to back it up more than 5 feet.
My wife is such a bad driver that she hit a telephone pole a couple of weeks ago,....she told the cop that she "honked and it still didn't move in time."
But a few years ago she hit a deer. Yeah it happens. I've even hit a couple through the years. But hers was in the zoo...[ROFL2]
gnihcraes
09-21-2012, 20:01
Mine: Does well, can back out of the driveway, but cannot back into it though. What throws them off is the taper of the car front to back. They try to line up the side of the car, which is not necessarily the same on the other side. (so i've figured out anyway)
Difficult for me though, since my surgery, I still don't drive a lot, which means she's driving. A little difficult at times to bite my tongue at times over some things.
palepainter
09-21-2012, 21:32
Mine is allergic to gas pumps.
OMFG.... that sums up my wife nicely too. Flashing check gauge light and all....
hghclsswhitetrsh
09-21-2012, 22:31
OMFG.... that sums up my wife nicely too. Flashing check gauge light and all....
The downfall of these new vehicles is they estimate how may more miles she can procrastinate before she sticks me with the job.
Bailey Guns
09-22-2012, 07:57
The downfall of these new vehicles is they estimate how may more miles she can procrastinate before she sticks me with the job.
That is so true... [Coffee]
Troublco
09-22-2012, 07:57
Mine backs up OK, but her throttle control is atrocious. I can't ride on the highway with her driving without getting carsick. She appears to have no fine motor control in her right foot so her idea of speed control is to hit the gas, go too fast, let off the gas, go too slowly. Repeat every 10 seconds. To make it just that much more enjoyable, she's terrified of cruise control.
Mine backs up OK unless she's trying to park by backing in somewhere. Then she has issues with depth perception. Otherwise, mine had the throttle control issue up until not too long ago. She couldn't make small throttle control changes - on the gas, off the gas, on the gas, off the gas. OMG!!! I couldn't stand it. None of this 10 second stuff, I'm talking intervals of .5 - 3 seconds. Drove me absolutely insane, and mine likes to drive when we go somewhere in her car. I don't have any problem with letting her drive, but when she'd to this surge-release-repeat thing I'd about go nuts. She said she didn't notice it. I finally got her to notice it, and make smaller changes. She'll even use cruise occasionally now![Tooth]
Mine also used to like to wait until the DTE gauge read like 5 or 8...I never seemed to be able to get her to fill it before 1/4. Now that we live out in the sticks, she's a lot more conscious of it simply because I might not be around to come rescue her if she runs out, which she did twice with her last vehicle.
Bailey Guns
09-22-2012, 08:00
Despite her lack of vehicle-backing skills, I've finally decided after 23 years together she's a keeper.
I showed her the little black rubber circles from her tires on the driveway (as she turned the wheel lock-to-lock) and then showed her this thread. She laughed. And then took me out to dinner.
I drove, though.
JohnnyEgo
09-22-2012, 08:20
Mine drives a minivan with a back-up camera. It has three dents in the tailgate.
Mine: Does well, can back out of the driveway, but cannot back into it though. What throws them off is the taper of the car front to back. They try to line up the side of the car, which is not necessarily the same on the other side. (so i've figured out anyway)
Difficult for me though, since my surgery, I still don't drive a lot, which means she's driving. A little difficult at times to bite my tongue at times over some things.
Same here. The other day I told her to back up just onto the driveway to unload groceries. Not even into the garage and she made a fuss about it. My one car is pretty narrow tho
jerrymrc
09-22-2012, 08:30
on the gas, off the gas, on the gas, off the gas. OMG!!! I couldn't stand it. None of this 10 second stuff, I'm talking intervals of .5 - 3 seconds. Drove me absolutely insane, and mine likes to drive when we go somewhere in her car. I don't have any problem with letting her drive, but when she'd to this surge-release-repeat thing I'd about go nuts. She said she didn't notice it. I finally got her to notice it, and make smaller changes. She'll even use cruise occasionally now![Tooth]
.
Give them a car with a carb and they will quit that in a hurry after the MPG goes to hell. In the old days one was taught just what using that accelerator pump would do. [Flower]
4th – Giving directions will be the cause of our divorce. “Turn here!” You mean the road we just past?
How about after you make a U-turn to go back to that street you get yelled at for taking a left on to it.. when "I told you to turn right onto the street!"
Hey guys..funny story. So there was this person exiting the I-25 HOV lane, aggressively, at a rate of speed faster then is safe for morning rush hour. This person entered into traffic in the same lane then grunted, cussed and threw a quick, deeply furrowed eyebrow look over their shoulder to the right lane. There this person saw traffic but still hit the gas and lurched the car in front of the one behind said person. That vehicle in the right lane had to brake hard and suddenly to avoid hitting this person. This person then lurched in front of another car and almost rear ended it. Then this persons friend called said person to say "Hi friend, you were too busy road raging and didn't notice but I was in lane next to you, the one in which you almost caused an accident, cutting people off and driving all aggressive and dangerously." Guess who this person was? Not a woman, certainly not "Irvings" woman because she drives patiently and calmly. It was a very bad male driver, very bad. Guess his name?
I25 north HOV lane rules me out :)
Dumb wife posting again. No one had to slam on their brakes. But I did pull into a lane in front of a friend, who immediately let me know what a bad driver I am, via text.
Drilldov2.0
09-22-2012, 12:40
Is it just me or is anyone else married to a woman who absolutely cannot drive a vehicle in reverse?
I watched my wife attempt to maneuver her Traverse out of the garage and around our pickup. It really was pathetic. Turn wheel sharply, back up 8", turn wheel sharply, forward 6", maneuver vehicle into worse position for getting around truck than before, open door and look at truck as if expecting it to move, forward, back, wear bald spot on tires while turning wheel lock-to-lock on driveway without moving, open door, look exasperated, close door, open door again, pull forward...
OK, enough. I opened the window and waited for her to open the door again and yelled to get her attention.
"You need to come move this truck", she yells.
"No. You need to learn how to drive", I respond.
"Turn your wheel completely to the left." She does. "Now, put the car in reverse and back up." She does. She's clear of the pickup. Gives me a "F**K YOU" look and drives away.
She's OK driving forward. But, I swear upon all that is sacred, she shouldn't be allowed to own a vehicle with a reverse gear.
She's on the road in the metro area fellas. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Excellent! Is your back sore from sleeping on the couch?
I concur, but when you drive as much as I do, you quickly realize that most people can't drive worth a shit.
nisils14
09-22-2012, 12:59
My gf is surprisingly good at driving, it's not awe inspring, but it's good enough to not freak me out. What's funny she knows how bad women can be bad drivers as well some guys. Which brings me to a funny story, she absolutely hates people who just cut people off at the drop of a hat. As we were observing this guy in a audi just driving like a bat outta hell, we just so happen to catch him at a light. Without falter, my gf rolls down her window, signals him to roll down his, and proceeds to say "You drive like you belong in a fucking kitchen, give daddy back his car and make him a sandwich. Make sure you dress up cause you're as ugly as your driving." The dude was practically dumbfounded, she rolls up her window and act like nothing happened. I was pretty much floored after that.
JM Ver. 2.0
09-22-2012, 13:14
So, I just rode in a car with the new girlfriend for the first time today. She's not that bad. But the first few minutes.... Oh lord.
JM Ver. 2.0
09-22-2012, 15:03
Holy Fuck no! I take it back! I take it all back! She only drove nice because it was a test drive! We're taking her car back to trade it in. She's nuckin futs!
Stay off Broadway!!!!!!!
[Help][Help]
Holy Fuck no! I take it back! I take it all back! She only drove nice because it was a test drive! We're taking her car back to trade it in. She's nuckin futs!
Stay off Broadway!!!!!!!
[Help][Help]
Broadway is fairly long.. which part.. cause i'm off Broadway.. just the southern part.
mevshooter
09-22-2012, 21:47
The EXACT words of my wife:
"You are the man. You should drive."
I love her.
[Tooth]
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