View Full Version : What's your favorite saying?
Can't think of mine yet, I do like "fair is what you pay on a bus"
Great-Kazoo
10-16-2012, 12:32
STFU and stop whining like a bitch.
Another example of Mental masturbation
Seriously!
stevelkinevil
10-16-2012, 12:37
Classic "better to have and not need than to need and not have"
HoneyBadger
10-16-2012, 12:38
HoneyBadger don't give a sh!t
islandermyk
10-16-2012, 12:49
"Buy once! Cry once!"
" See! Told yah!"
"Get a straw and suck it up!" [ROFL1]
"What you want and what's gonna happen are 2 different things!"
...oh... and "Buy once! Cry once!" [LOL]
islandermyk
10-16-2012, 12:51
... and "I don't get paid enough to get pissed off!" [Coffee]
dwalker460
10-16-2012, 12:51
Fear is the spare change that will keep you broke.
Theres never enough money or time to do it right, but there is always time and money to do it twice.
"That's above my pay grade"
It may be a bit cliche on here, but I always loved: "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes."
Also (like Stevel said): "Guns are like condoms, I'd rather have one and not need it than need it and not have one."
"The maximum effective range of an excuse is 0 meters."
bside303
10-16-2012, 12:55
"thats what she said!"
islandermyk
10-16-2012, 12:56
It may be a bit cliche on here, but I always loved: "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes."
Yep... I use that one a lot too [Beer][Coffee]
stevelkinevil
10-16-2012, 12:58
Almost forgot
Your concealed carry piece is like your pecker, taking it out and playing with it in public will only get you in trouble.
Big Wall
10-16-2012, 12:58
Argue for your limitations and they are yours.
Good Enough For Government work.
2 in the pink, 1 in the stink.
"You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose. You just can't pick your friend's nose."
[Coffee]
Want in one hand, shit in the other.. tell me what fills up first.
And people in hell want ice water.
buffalobo
10-16-2012, 13:05
The price of your education is the cost of your mistakes.
Stupid hurts.
Living the dream, working the nightmare.
you can't fix stupid
or
What do I know, I only sell food
lpgasman
10-16-2012, 13:16
"ok, you can touch it"
Obsessed is just a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated.
DSB OUTDOORS
10-16-2012, 13:23
Patients my Ass!! I'm gona kill something!
I just wish I could remember the dozens that my dad used to say, he was an old timer and had a bunch of good ones.
Scanker19
10-16-2012, 13:26
It's like mastuerbating with a cheese grater: Slightly amusing but mostly painful.
What the F*ck, Over?
"hoser"
You don't know shit from apple butter
You don't know your ass from a hole in the ground.
You couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the bottom!!
buffalobo
10-16-2012, 13:53
You broke dick, wooden axle, bought on credit, brother in lawing son of a bitch.
Oh one of my Sr. NCOs used to always say: "All's fair in love and war- except in love you don't bomb the shit out of the other person!" [Coffee]
BPTactical
10-16-2012, 14:19
I have too many to define a favorite. But a few I frequently use:
"Slicker than deerguts on a doorknob"
"Do you have to remember to breath?"
"That's Mr asshole to you"
"What the fvck, over..."
"Didn't know whether to shit or go blind"
"Q-Do you have any rubber clothes? A-No, why? R-Because if your gonna act like a dick you oughtta dress like one."
BPTactical
10-16-2012, 14:20
You broke dick, wooden axle, bought on credit, brother in lawing son of a bitch.
That's a good one![ROFL1]
Plain, simple, and used often...
Go Fuck Yourself
That boy is as dumb as a box of rocks...
You worked on this yourself first, didn't you?
That thing is f**ked up like a left handed football bat...
This part fits like socks on a rooster...
I'd love to listen to your bullshit, but right now I'm busier than a one armed paper hanger in a tornado...
That engine's done. It sounds like a skeleton trying to f**k a pile of empty paint cans.
[Stooge]
You must have watched an AGI video.......
Delfuego
10-16-2012, 14:33
Two is one, and one is none....
You must have watched an AGI video.......
Nah, work in a motorcycle shop and lived in the South for a while when I was younger...[ROFL1]
KestrelBike
10-16-2012, 14:41
"Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke"
"Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke"
And vice versa!
BPTactical
10-16-2012, 14:47
"Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke"
"Joke'em if they can't take a fuck".
(edit-damn you TFOGGER!)
A couple I always get amused by:
"Theft is only Illegal because the government hates competition."
"Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."
"If common sense is "common", then why do the majority of people lack it?"
" F!@# em in the neck " and " Don't let your meat loaf "....
[Beer]
If it hurts dont do it
Suck it up and act like a man
You cumn guzzling gutter slut
"Joke'em if they can't take a fuck".
(edit-damn you TFOGGER!)
GMTA Bert [Beer][Pepsi]
Go F*ck Yourself
-Stupid is what stupid does
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Mark Twain
Rucker61
10-16-2012, 16:12
"Half of everyone is below average".
funkfool
10-16-2012, 17:20
"You are what you do."
"You ever consider late-term self abortion?"
"Where's your sign?"
"Did you sell your car for gas money?"
"If ignorance truly is bliss, then I do believe you're the happiest person I have ever met."
"You are so mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence."
"Excuse me... I couldn't fu**in hear you blathering on and on...
Rooskibar03
10-16-2012, 17:33
Bullocks.
It's all shits and giggles until somebody giggles and shits
DSB OUTDOORS
10-16-2012, 17:55
Momma said if you can't say anything nice about someone. Do it in writing and hand it to them! GFYS!!
BlasterBob
10-16-2012, 18:00
"Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest".
"Busier than a one armed paper hanger".
"I don't mind coming to work but I hate to wait 8 hours to go back home".
Enlisted man to another enlisted man in the Army, "Don't call Sir, I'm just as good as you are".
"If bull shit was music, you'd be a brass band"
"If bull shit was water, you'd be the Atlantic, Pacific and the Dead Sea".
"Do unto others before they do unto you".
"Here's to ya, asshole"[Beer]
Walk it off.
Hold my beer and watch this shit
"Stop asking so many questions and just serve your purpose."
DSB OUTDOORS
10-16-2012, 18:35
Do as I say, Not as I do!
stevelkinevil
10-16-2012, 18:35
"I wouldn't piss up your ass if your guts were on fire"
"its enough to piss a white man off" (old LVHPD chiefs favorite)
Almost forgot, No Duck Soup For You!
"All I know is my gut says maybe"
wrestler034
10-16-2012, 20:35
Blind acceptance is a sign of stupid fools who stand in line.
It is better to travel alone then to travel with a bad partner.
Friends help friends move.
Real friends help friends move bodies.
Religion is like a penis. It's fine to have one and it's fine to be proud of it, but please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around... and please don't try to shove it down my child's throat.
Shoot
Shovel
Shut up
hghclsswhitetrsh
10-16-2012, 20:59
Work:
I'm like a hard Peter I just go where I'm shoved.
Life:
Fvck em all but six, gotta have Paul bearers.
Assholes:
Is your wiener long enough to touch your b-hole? Yeah? Well then go fvck yourself.
Great-Kazoo
10-16-2012, 21:39
Sensible Gun laws.
Do it for the Children
If it saves one life wouldn't it be worth it?
OOPS THOUGHT THIS WAS THE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE FREE FOR ALL[ROFL1][ROFL2]
Aloha_Shooter
10-16-2012, 22:30
Either TANSTAAFL or RTFM
There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch
Read The Freaking Manual
Say the first to Obamanoids and the second to any idiot asking you how to do something before they even TRY to figure it out for themselves.
Oh yeah, was just watching one of my favorite movies so have to add these:
"Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining."
"Dying ain't much of a living, boy."
"All I know is my gut says maybe"
About my favorite Futurama quote ever.
"If I die, tell my wife, 'Hello.'"
TheBelly
10-17-2012, 01:53
Argue for your limitations and they are yours.
I really liked that book. Most of those quotes I really enjoyed, but I think it's because I didn't get too wrapped up in that book as a life manual. Richard Bach does good airplane-and-flight-centric fiction, but if I got too wrapped up in that part, I'd stop enjoying the writing...
Same thing with Jonathan Livingstion Seagull....
My favorite quote: "Go Team!" My Company gave me a pretty neat decorative knife that they engraved that onto.
clublights
10-17-2012, 02:08
Useful Expressions for your next meeting
1) I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2) What part of "NO" don't you understand?
3) How about "never"? Is "never" good for you?
4) It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
5) I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
6) Ahhh, I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again.
7) You are validating my inherent mistrust of others.
8) I'm already visualizing the duck tape over your mouth.
9) The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
10) Some day, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
11) I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
12) I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
13) I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
14) You sound reasonable...time to up my medication.
15) I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
16) How do I set a laser printer to stun?
17) Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
18) Not the brightest crayons in the box now, are we?
19) And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be?
20) Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?
21) I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
22) Don't feel bad, a lot of people have no talent!
And yes I have used just about all of them ....
clublights
10-17-2012, 02:09
If it doesn't work, plug it in, if it still doesn't work, turn it on!
daknee_k
10-17-2012, 04:55
I can do anything, but I can't do everything.
Excuses are like assholes. Everyone has one and they all stink.
FOAD
rockhound
10-17-2012, 05:43
If i wanted your opinion I would give it to you....
When I want your opinion I will pull your string....
BlasterBob
10-17-2012, 08:25
Referring to a young man who has not yet reached maturity,
he is said to be "still wet behind the ears".
Doubt if more than a couple here have heard of THAT old saying.[Tooth]
"Finer than hair on a frog"
"Worthless as tits on a bull"
"Raining cats and dogs"
"Nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs"
"Nervous as a whore in church"
spqrzilla
10-17-2012, 08:27
"With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine."
"A church is not the less sacred because curs frequently lift up their leg against it, and affront the wall: It is the nature of dogs." Cato's Letters.
Great-Kazoo
10-17-2012, 08:32
DID YOU BOTHER USING THE SEARCH FUNCTION!!!!![Bang]
one that i use a lot is "mark it eight dude".
another is "eight year olds dude"
ThunderSquirrel
10-17-2012, 08:51
If I'm having a bad day, it is usually summed up with..
"If it was raining titties, I'd get hit in the face with a dick"
Punkface
10-17-2012, 10:42
Drink water, drive on.
I don't speak retard.
Not my dick, not my problem.
That's more fucked up than a football bat.
I know a little bit about alot of stuff but not very much about anything.
Catch you on the flip-flop.
When my buddies and I are talking about a sexy lady i'll often catch my self saying,
"I'd suck a far outta her ass" meaning she is so hot I would do anything for her.
spqrzilla
10-17-2012, 11:30
DID YOU BOTHER USING THE SEARCH FUNCTION!!!!![Bang]
Yep, I use that saying a lot. [ROFL1]
SouthPaw
10-17-2012, 11:45
-It is what it is
-Don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you
-6 one way or half a dozen the other
BPTactical
10-17-2012, 12:01
DILLIGAF
FTW (the old terminology)
NightCat
10-17-2012, 13:38
"It's a Joke! not a dick! ya dont have to take it so hard"
Your free, white, and over 21 - do whatever the fuck you want.
GoldFinger
10-17-2012, 14:32
colder than a siberian ditch digger
I'm sorry you were under the impression we were voting on this.
F'd up like a soup sandwich.
jhood001
10-17-2012, 14:50
I heard a good one today:
Trials and tribulations in life are mandatory. Suffering is optional.
Colder than a well diggers ass.
ronaldrwl
10-17-2012, 15:06
John Wooden ... If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?
Rust_shackleford
10-17-2012, 15:44
One Riot, One Ranger
And we're off! Faster than a turd of hurdles!
If I'm having a bad day, it is usually summed up with..
"If it was raining titties, I'd get hit in the face with a dick"
Hahahahaha! I forgot all about that one!
"Smoke the Ganja, Kill the white man..."
spittoon
10-17-2012, 18:01
sluckin A,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, tomahawk chop,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, bitch -ka-
Great-Kazoo
10-17-2012, 18:34
Your free, white, and over 21 - do whatever the fuck you want.
For some of us it was over 18!
Bailey Guns
10-17-2012, 18:34
"Keep your gun in the condition you'd want it to be in should you find yourself in a gun fight." - Clint Smith
"Your concealed handgun should be comforting...not comfortable." - Clint Smith
"Rub some dirt on it."
"I'm voting my conscience." - Libertarians
"Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about." - Mom
"Well I'll be dipped in shit and rolled in coconut."
BlasterBob
10-17-2012, 18:46
"Crazy as a shit house rat"
"You're about as worthless as tits on a boar hog"
"put lipstick on a hog and it's still a hog."
"don't let anyone give ya a wooden nickle"
Boy, I'll sit you on your ass like your father should've done
spittoon
10-17-2012, 18:49
"Crazy as a shit house rat"
that is a good one[Beer]
BlasterBob
10-17-2012, 18:51
My mom used to tell me on a trip home from some shopping, "Boy, when I get you home, I'm going to blister your butt til you can't sit down". And frequently she did just that. Owwwww. Of course I always did deserve it.
Loosing my shit like a shit collector with amnesia.
Nuttier than squirrel shit.
Bailey Guns
10-17-2012, 18:57
"Why don't you play 'Hide and Go Fuck Yourself?"
"I'm your huckleberry."
"Did you bump your head when you got outta bed this morning"
"You are not the smartest peanut in the turd"
"I'm crazy, not stupid."
"I may have been born at night, but not LAST night."
tmleadr03
10-17-2012, 22:42
Even a blind squirrel gets a nut every once and a while.
Excuses are the uses of the weak and incompetent to build bridges to nowhere and monuments to nothingness.
When told I'm a smartass:
Better than being a dumbass!
"I may have been born at night, but not LAST night."
I have one that I use all the time kind of similar to this:
"I may have been born yesterday, but I stayed up all night." [Tooth]
RonMexico
10-18-2012, 10:39
Best cheers I've heard. " to gun power and pussy, love the smell of both, hopefully never die from the lack of either"
Rucker61
10-18-2012, 10:41
I have one that I use all the time kind of similar to this:
"I may have been born yesterday, but I stayed up all night." [Tooth]
I like it. Consider it stolen^W leveraged.
JohnnyEgo
10-18-2012, 14:58
Ones I use frequently:
"If you were half as smart as you think you are, that would still make you twice as smart as the rest of us think you are."
"Every now and then, the apple falls into a completely different orchard. In your case, it looks like it rolled into an orange grove."
One I stole from my old Bosun in 1993, which shows that it has been around a while:
"My Bullshit Meter is Pegged."
One I have never found the right context to use now that I am out of the service:
"I've passed more sea water than you'll ever see"
Finally, one I stole from my Grandma during her final stages of mean dementia and one I stole from the Simpsons, which seemed to dovetail nicely with one another during my final years of engineering school:
"Education is overrated. You should get a trade. Like ditch digging." (Grandma)
"Math is tough. Let's go shopping." (Malibu Stacy)
Usually use this one when referring to people who can't hit their target:
"I hope your shooting isn't a reflection of your love making...because if it is, you could'nt hit the G-Spot on a 12 pound pussy.
"It's better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." -- been attributed to everybody from Abe Lincoln to Oscar Wilde. Don't know who really said it.
"That just chaps my crack!"
Usually use this one when referring to people who can't hit their target:
"I hope your shooting isn't a reflection of your love making...because if it is, you could'nt hit the G-Spot on a 12 pound pussy.
[ROFL1] That is awesome! I know a few people I could say that line to.
68Charger
10-18-2012, 17:12
"It's better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." -- been attributed to everybody from Abe Lincoln to Oscar Wilde. Don't know who really said it.
Oldest version I know of is in Proverbs 17:28
written between 600-1000b.c.
one of my favorites:
"it's all fun and games until somebody loses a pancreas"
Followed by:
"then it's hilarious"
Robby30-06
10-18-2012, 17:14
From my Pops
"Don't worry, you're doing really well for your ability"
From a former Supervisor
"He's like a callous.......he shows up when the work's done"
From a drinkin' buddy
"Damn, we bent the needle on the fun meter last night"
NightCat
10-18-2012, 18:37
Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.
:D
bigun1962
10-18-2012, 18:41
time to get the wrinkles out
Robby30-06
10-18-2012, 18:59
Oh yeah, and lately people seem to like it when I say.......
"Anymore, I just figure fuck it"
DSB OUTDOORS
10-18-2012, 19:11
I miss my gramps!
Ahhh Horse SHIT!! [Coffee] What, you think they can learn this shit in school??
"Embrace Life"
"a successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him."
Troublco
10-18-2012, 22:44
It'll feel better when it stops hurting.
Your what hurts?
Common sense is an uncommon virtue.
You're about as sharp as a 2x4.
Not the sharpest crayon in the box.
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