Women...

[Bailey Guns]

My wife rarely displays poor judgment. But tonight she handed me an empty Christmas wrapping paper roll, about 3' long, and axed me to throw it away. Then she's surprised when I immediately use it:



as a simulated club to lightly whack her on the head
as a way to irritate her annoying little dog that's growling at me for being in the same room because he's overly protective of her
as a pretend sword to defend myself when she suddenly realizes the tactical error she's made and wants to take the paper roll away from me
as a makeshift bullhorn to hurl verbal taunts and challenges at her


Her surprise quickly turned to mild anger.

WTF??? It's not my fault I'm a guy. We've been married 23 years. She's the one that should know better.

[Monky]

Yet somehow it's all your fault because she was too lazy to do it herself.

[Fmedges]

Axed? Like the wood cutting device?

[hunterhawk]

Haha I would have done the same.. I love to taunt my dog and wife with those things.. The growl you can make with those and catch the dog off guard with is pretty sweet

[TEAMRICO]

I wold have simulated a BROOM HANDLE for sweeping, a ROLLING PIN for cooking or dangled it between my legs to......oh never mind, who am I fooling there?

[GhostRider]

yupp, would have done the same thing here, in fact I think I have in the past. hahaha, good luck on the make up with her ( in a day or two )

[mtnrider]

Well at least you didn't use it as a simulated "Johnson" and poke her in the backside with it?

[wctriumph]

Hey, it's in a man's DNA: we are allowed to play in the mud all our lives!

[Irving]

Did you turn it into a 3' long steam roller and take the biggest hit of your life out of it?
*Just got done reading the Amendment 64 thread.

[spleify]

Ok, that was funny as hell.

[newracer]

I'd be upset if you did anything less.

[Fentonite]

I'd be upset if you did anything less.

Exactly! Hell, I always figured the cardboard tube was the only part worth buying. All the extra "packaging" wrapped around it just gets in the way!

[patrick0685]

sounds exactly like what you should have done and I myself would have done.

[clublights]

My wife rarely displays poor judgment. But tonight she handed me an empty Christmas wrapping paper roll, about 3' long, and axed me to throw it away. Then she's surprised when I immediately use it:



as a simulated club to lightly whack her on the head
as a way to irritate her annoying little dog that's growling at me for being in the same room because he's overly protective of her
as a pretend sword to defend myself when she suddenly realizes the tactical error she's made and wants to take the paper roll away from me
as a makeshift bullhorn to hurl verbal taunts and challenges at her


Her surprise quickly turned to mild anger.

WTF??? It's not my fault I'm a guy. We've been married 23 years. She's the one that should know better.


My Mother saves them for us .......... yes my father( mid 50's) myself ( late 30's) and my siblings (28-19) still play lightsaber/sword wars with them ... then there is the silly string that ends up in our stockings every year ......

My Family is an odd bunch .. but we all seem to fit together LOL

[asmo]

My wife was wrapping presents this weekend and there were a few empty tubes on the table when I walked in. She saw my eyes light up, so she immediately stepped in front on them and said "No!".

Quite funny.

[Ashton]

I have nothing to say that is nice. So I wont say anything at all. But I LOL'd

[bryjcom]

Isn't it funny how they expect you to do a chore for them and also expect not to get any grief while you do said chore for them???

Women.... The only creature that bleeds from their crotch 12 times a year and that's considered "normal"

[Mazin]

How about when you ask them a serous question like "do I have funk pit?", my wife immediately yells "don't put you pit in my face". Well how else am I supposed to know, I have sinus issues damn it lol.


Sent from my Magpul enhanced tactical iPhone using Tapatalk.

[Great-Kazoo]

Isn't it funny how they expect you to do a chore for them and also expect not to get any grief while you do said chore for them???

Women.... The only creature that bleeds from their crotch 12 times a year and that's considered "normal"

MMMMM Whose wife could i send that 2 and her not find it funny????????????????? Maybe a door hanger like those pizza coupon's stuck on your windshield, yeah that's it the windshield.

Remember when it's all said and done they changed their last name, not you.

[Bailey Guns]

Axed? Like the wood cutting device?

Urban lingo, man. Ya gotta keep up here...

[buffalobo]

She must have had a momentary lapse of reason, my wife would never allow me to even know that there was an empty wrapping paper tube in the house. First I would use it to harass her, then when she got mad(can't stop til she is borderline) then the next victim would be grandkids and dog. Result: chaos, screeching kids, barking dog(our heeler has the most annoying bark ever) pieces/parts of cardboard thru out house. Job done, grab beer and head out to shop and leave her to deal with.

[Skully]

This made me laugh so hard, I can relate and have done the exact same thing. [ROFL1]


........unfortunately for my case my wife is a typical Hispanic woman and she gets very angry quickly. She also punches very hard and has been known to throw things at me while cussing at me in spanish.

So I can only get to the 2nd or 3rd scenario you described.

[Danimal]

I know right, they just don't get it. My ex-wife used to get super pissed when I would shoot her in the face with a rubber band from across the house and yell "HEADSHOT!" I would tell her it was for training and if she did not want it to happen she would stop leaving them all over the house. She fought dirty with wrapping paper rolls though, I remember taking a couple shots to the pills after starting a light-saber battle.

[HoneyBadger]

Urban lingo, man. Ya gotta keep up here...


Urban lingo in Bailey? [LOL]

[roberth]

[ROFL1]

I'm not married. If I was I'd do the same thing.

[StagLefty]

I see an upcoming IKEA trip to make amends !!

[PugnacAutMortem]

My wife rarely displays poor judgment. But tonight she handed me an empty Christmas wrapping paper roll, about 3' long, and axed me to throw it away. Then she's surprised when I immediately use it:



as a simulated club to lightly whack her on the head
as a way to irritate her annoying little dog that's growling at me for being in the same room because he's overly protective of her
as a pretend sword to defend myself when she suddenly realizes the tactical error she's made and wants to take the paper roll away from me
as a makeshift bullhorn to hurl verbal taunts and challenges at her


Her surprise quickly turned to mild anger.

WTF??? It's not my fault I'm a guy. We've been married 23 years. She's the one that should know better.

[ROFL2][ROFL3][LOL]
You've been married 23 years and she STILL gets surprised at the things you do? There is hope for me then...I've only been married for 2 years and I can still surprise her from time to time. Looks like I need to step my game up tho [Coffee]

Edit: This is the best thread I've seen in a long damn time...I'm glad to see there are other wives out there that tolerate our (possibly childish, but who cares because it's fun) behavior.

[ronaldrwl]

This should be multiple choice

[alan0269]

I think your wife should issue a prompt and sincere apology for getting upset with you for doing what you are required to do as a man when someone provides you with a cardboard wrapping paper tube!!! My wife has on many occasions given such items to one of my boys to throw away with the disclaimer that they are 1) not to do anything with it other than throwing it away and 2) not to give it to myself or one of the dogs. Your wife should understand this by now, and her actions of getting upset with you are completely unacceptable.
[Coffee]

[budda]

Well at least you didn't use it as a simulated "Johnson" and poke her in the backside with it?

I did this the other day, then she turned around and smiled then proceeded to stuff it into my giblets. It was not present but I will be doing it again when I get a chance, I will just have to move faster and evade her attack.

[sellersm]

To do otherwise would mean immediate loss of The Man Card! [LOL]

[Troublco]

23 years, and she's surprised? Yup, definitely her fault. If she doesn't know better after 23 years...

Mine isn't really surprised when I do this sort of thing. She'll make some sort of remark like "I can't believe you still do that", but she'll smile after pretending to be upset.

[WillysWagon]

You good Sir are full of WIN !!!!

[liberty19]

I am going to show this thread to my wife of 27 years and say; "see! I am not the only husband that still acts like a 14 year old boy." I love this thread - made my day. Thanks.

[wyzardd]

I don't get it ... What was she upset about? You did exactly right

[WillysWagon]

I am going to show this thread to my wife of 27 years and say; "see! I am not the only husband that still acts like a 14 year old boy." I love this thread - made my day. Thanks.

Just showed it to my wife and all she said was, "You'd throw in some Light Saber sounds from Star Wars", hahahaha

[Bailey Guns]

I am going to show this thread to my wife of 27 years and say; "see! I am not the only husband that still acts like a 14 year old boy." I love this thread - made my day. Thanks.

Not so fast. My wife says I act like I'm 12. I just say, "Nuh-uh." It doesn't take much to get her to roll her eyes.

[SA Friday]

Ya, this would have directly led to my kids and I going full "light-sabre" followed immediately by a full blown nerf gun war through out the first two levels of the house.

I don't know what I enjoy more; my kid's delight or my wife's distress.

[Scogin]

Love this. Showed it to the wife and she said she would have hit me with "the sword" instead of handing it to me. She is so violent.

[rockhound]

ahhh a couple that plays together stays together

[gnihcraes]

Not showing my wife this thread until I see if there are some empty tubes in my near future... :)

[Guylee]

I would have walked around making shotgun sounds with it and blasting things in the room