"I am Adam Lanza's mother"

[sneakerd]

Wow. We all need to read this article on gawker. Just wow. Sorry no link. Search- it's worth it.

[BuffCyclist]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/16/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-mental-illness-conversation_n_2311009.html

And a rebuttal:

http://thegirlwhowasthursday.wordpress.com/2012/12/16/you-are-not-adam-lanzas-mother/

eta: And with this post, I go from "Gong Shooter" to "Varmiteer"

[islandermyk]

eta: And with this post, I go from "Gong Shooter" to "Varmiteer"

Congrats man!


.. but the reads was a bit disturbing... so why am I not surprised?

[BuffCyclist]

I grew up with several kids who I always feared would bring guns to school, as they had mental health issues and were constantly bullied. None of them ever did, but that doesn't mean they won't do it someday still.

It does shed light on what it is like to deal with someone in your family who has a mental health disorder. And worst of all, there are many people out there who do not see the signs of mental health disorders and simply label it as a "rebellious teen" or "ADHD", so lets just throw drugs at the problem and hope it goes away.

[Irving]

I think the rebutal blog is too quick to dismiss the first artical. The rebutal correctly points out that most mental illness does not necessarily result in violence, just how poor communities have more crime, but that doesn't mean that most poor people are violent. It is not beneficial to make the autgor look stupid over the semantics of a very serious issue before the discussion even starts.

[BuffCyclist]

I think the rebutal blog is too quick to dismiss the first artical. The rebutal correctly points out that most mental illness does not necessarily result in violence, just how poor communities have more crime, but that doesn't mean that most poor people are violent. It is not beneficial to make the autgor look stupid over the semantics of a very serious issue before the discussion even starts.

Very true, the second article was quick to dismiss the first.

However, it does get you to think about the first article more closely.

[esaabye]

So as the father of a special needs spectrum kid I am scared. I am not scared of my child but I am of the emotional reactions of the people of this country.

First I feared that they would attempt to restrict my rights to protect my family through the restriction of firearms (and they will try). Now I am more worried that they will attempt make my child a villain and scapegoat to appease the need to "do something".

May I just point out that this killer, like the last child killer, had plenty of contact with the 'mental health community'. This family, as well as the last, had the financial means to address issues if they chose to.

My child is the kindest person I know, the most innocent person that I know. Now some will attempt to put a label on him and judge him. Some will try to make decisions about his care for me, because they 'Need to do something?. Some will simply try to use this crime as a means to further government control of anything aspect of our lives that they can.

Where will it stop, I don't know but peoples willingness to trade freedom for the feeling of security scares the hell out of me. We will all be on the wrong side of it at sometime at this pace.

[Madusa]

Why is it the governments response ability?

[Irving]

So as the father of a special needs spectrum kid I am scared. I am not scared of my child but I am of the emotional reactions of the people of this country.

First I feared that they would attempt to restrict my rights to protect my family through the restriction of firearms (and they will try). Now I am more worried that they will attempt make my child a villain and scapegoat to appease the need to "do something".

May I just point out that this killer, like the last child killer, had plenty of contact with the 'mental health community'. This family, as well as the last, had the financial means to address issues if they chose to.

My child is the kindest person I know, the most innocent person that I know. Now some will attempt to put a label on him and judge him. Some will try to make decisions about his care for me, because they 'Need to do something?. Some will simply try to use this crime as a means to further government control of anything aspect of our lives that they can.

Where will it stop, I don't know but peoples willingness to trade freedom for the feeling of security scares the hell out of me. We will all be on the wrong side of it at sometime at this pace.

I feel for people in your position, and believe you are absolutely correct. Not all "mental disabilities" are created equal.

[birddog]

^^^^^^^

and I'm also going out on a limb here but I'm guessing there was something else missing here. I certainly don't believe that autism was the sole reason for this. Lets look into some parenting and home situation.

[Troublco]

So as the father of a special needs spectrum kid I am scared. I am not scared of my child but I am of the emotional reactions of the people of this country.

First I feared that they would attempt to restrict my rights to protect my family through the restriction of firearms (and they will try). Now I am more worried that they will attempt make my child a villain and scapegoat to appease the need to "do something".

May I just point out that this killer, like the last child killer, had plenty of contact with the 'mental health community'. This family, as well as the last, had the financial means to address issues if they chose to.

My child is the kindest person I know, the most innocent person that I know. Now some will attempt to put a label on him and judge him. Some will try to make decisions about his care for me, because they 'Need to do something?. Some will simply try to use this crime as a means to further government control of anything aspect of our lives that they can.

Where will it stop, I don't know but peoples willingness to trade freedom for the feeling of security scares the hell out of me. We will all be on the wrong side of it at sometime at this pace.

I, too, am the father of special needs kids; both of mine are. The wife and I have spoken of some of the same fears you mention; the problem as I see it is that people who don't have or don't understand kids on the spectrum seem to consider themselves fully qualified to give those with them advice, or to judge them, their children, or anything they see as unusual.

I guarantee, none of you that have not dealt with a child on the spectrum long term can understand what it's like to have to; and deal with not only the actual symptoms that manifest themselves but with the judgemental attitude from so many people who don't really have a clue as to what's going on for real as opposed to what they may see in a snapshot. And I know many will say "But there's the Autism Society of Colorado, there are mental health professionals, even the schools have programs for this!" Well, the simple truth of the matter is that there's not as much as many people think. For example, my son is high-functioning autistic, as well as gifted. They term it "twice exceptional". But the "best" school district in the state DOES NOT have a program for this type of autism, much less a child with it who is also gifted. And if you have a child that doesn't fit one of their "ready made" programs, they will attempt to stuff them into the closest thing they can find, or what looks like the closest thing, in spite of what the law says they are supposed to do. And if you don't like it, your remedy lies in the courts. I can guarantee you a large number of people with kids like this can't afford the court battle it takes to make the school district do what they're supposed to by law, and the few that can are hit with gag orders to keep others from finding out. If you can find a family that was successful in this pursuit, I challenge you to ask them how they did it. My bet is, they'll tell you that they can't talk about it or you might get lucky, and they'll break the order and tell you.

Well said, esaabye. At the rate things are going, I fear for us as a nation sooner rather than later.