Laid off today . . . (also lawyer joke thread)

[Waywardson174]

Was working with a temporary firm auditing one of the Big 14 and its foreclosures over the last couple of years. Today they settled and we received an email asking us to kindly f*** off. No pink slips in a paperless office, just the email.

Also, I am a recently licensed attorney so reply with your favorite joke below.

On to my contribution to the jokes:

What do you call a bus load of lawyers drowning in a river?

A good start.

Cheers everyone,
[Beer]

[Mazin]

I need a NFA trust

[Inconel710]

Thanks for the offer, but I already have Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe on retainer. :)

[TFOGGER]

A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink.
A few minutes later, he says to no one in particular, “All lawyers are assholes.”
The fellow next to him lit into him. “How dare you just stereotypically categorize all lawyers as assholes? How have you missed that it’s just not okay to cast aspersions on an entire group of people? You just try saying something like that about any other group of people and you’d get slugged. And you should! If you weren’t such a jerk, I’d pour my drink all over you, but you’re not worth the cost of my drink.”
The fellow was properly abashed, and apologized. “Look, I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you,” he says, “By the way, what kind of lawyer are you?”
“Lawyer? I’m no lawyer, you idiot. I’m an asshole!”


Brought to you by the law firm of Neil, Suckitt, and Moen.

[TheBelly]

what do you call a lawyer gone bad? a senator.

[budda]

Sorry to hear that. What type of law do/want to practice?

I don't have a joke but I have a saying that makes my boss mad, I am a paralegal.

Lawyers do not lie, they manipulate the truth to prove their point.

[bigmyk2k]

Sorry about the bad day. That is a terrible way to get the news.

From my wife's swearing in ceremony (told by a Co Supreme court judge, don't recall which): "This is the point at which I would tell a lawyer joke, but none of the lawyers think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes."

[SideShow Bob]

I need a NFA trust
Same here, NFA items trust.

[merl]

heard about this on the radio this morning, never even thought about the effects of a settlement.

[Sawin]

Seems like you could be off to a good start with the NFA trusts needed around here. It could be a pretty good community to serve in that regard.

[wreave]

What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
There are skidmarks in front of the dog.

Whats the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead senator in the road?
The skidmarks in front of the dog are from slamming on the brakes; the skidmarks in front of the senator are from shifting into second.

[StagLefty]

I'd also be interested if you do NFA trusts.

[Waywardson174]

Guys, the pm's and comments are great. Thank you for the encouragement and interest in my professional help.

For those interested in an NFA trust, I cannot currently accomodate you, however, I am going to conduct research on the topic and will get back to you as soon as I determine whether I can competently guard your purchases.

[O2HeN2]

The problem with 99% of the lawers is they give the good ones a bad reputation.

O2

[centrarchidae]

Q. What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 73?

A. "Your honor."

Seriously, though, do you do wills and trusts? (Aside from trusts for NFA purposes.)

[Waywardson174]

What is your litigation experience? Licensed in October, what is your specialty.. guessing finance?

I spent 4 months with a DA office, got two trials there. I also did moot court in law school, not real experience, but a lot of focus on the theory and theater of trial work. Not yet specialized, my course work included oil and gas, land use, criminal law, and a lot of how to litigate.

[Waywardson174]

Q. What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 73?

A. "Your honor

Seriously, though, do you do wills and trusts? (Aside from trusts for NFA purposes.)

I'm focusing on NFA trusts for now, if I branch out i'll let you guys know.

[J]

I'm not sure I get the lawyer joke part of this thread...

How many lawyer jokes are there?

None. They are all true stories.

[Cylinder Head]

I'm focusing on NFA trusts for now, if I branch out i'll let you guys know.

PM me when you are able to get one going. I would like one set up as well.

[spleify]

Sorry to here brother.

[Jeff350]

Yep, NFA trust here too. Let us know when you are up and running.

Sorry to hear about your unexpected departure from your employer.

[Jer]

I would also be interested in an NFA trust for new items and what would be involved in moving some current private NFA items to said trust.

[Waywardson174]

My trusts guy and I are really working on it. We hope to have something ready within the month.