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Walker2970
01-24-2013, 19:42
What's for dinner

During lunch at work last week, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't due to past experience). When I got home, my wife seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Sweetie I have a surprise for dinner tonight."

She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She... made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call.

The beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go . It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage dump! I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other leg, I ripped off three more. I thought for a minute a had crapped myself! The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable! Eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, so I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself for my "tactical discharge".

My face must have been the picture of innocence, when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peaked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and thirteen dinner guests seated around the table, with their hands to their noses, chorused: "Happy Birthday"..

waxthis
01-24-2013, 19:46
LMMFAO......Nice!!!

GlockDog47
01-24-2013, 19:52
Hahahaha taco bell does that to me.[ROFL2]

Southbridge
01-24-2013, 19:59
The best part is how a single one of them did not let out a peep or anything. But who would've thought there were guests there if your wife was willing to take a phone call? Haha too funny.

wax_job
01-24-2013, 20:59
BAHAHZHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

Any survivors?

lex137
01-24-2013, 21:04
That's the funniest shit I have heard in a long time, I bet your face was red....

theGinsue
01-24-2013, 21:10
Guys, I don't think it really happened... I believe he was using artistic license.

Irving
01-24-2013, 21:12
Guys, I don't think it really happened... I believe he was using artistic license.

Translation: This joke is as old as I am.

brutal
01-24-2013, 21:13
Heard that one years ago.


Still pretty good though.

wax_job
01-24-2013, 21:25
Translation: This joke is as old as I am.

Yes. But it's like the aristocrats... Delivery is everything.

Gman
01-24-2013, 21:26
http://youtu.be/epjrWjo9ZMY

Ah Pook
01-24-2013, 23:19
Translation: This joke is as old as I am.
Wow, it must have some hair on it. [blaster]

patrick0685
01-25-2013, 00:08
LOL that was funny I did not see that one coming at all...thanks

MCarp71
01-25-2013, 08:42
Man, I don't care if its old or not. I still have tears running down my face.
Thats funny stuff right there!![LOL] Had to send it to my boss.