Interview with Adam Lanza's father

The articles spins anti-gun in a few spots, but other than that it is an interesting look at the inner dynamics of the Lanza family as told by the father. Some terrible things are just inexplicable. Those who have personally dealt with family members with mental illness will recognize the despair this family experienced for years prior to the shooting. While I can't bring myself to have sympathy for Adam, I do think the mother should be treated as the first real victim.

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2...urrentPage=all

i read this first thing this morning, long read, but well worth it.

I have not yet wrapped mind around whether it makes me feel empathy for them or if i am just astonished at how they did not do enough to help their child. while i understand their need to try and help their son, i dont beleive that either of them took enough steps to get him professional help. The story he wrote in 5th grade, WTF.

He was out of control, the mother was not getting through to him, time for some serious professional help.

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Originally Posted by rockhound

i read this first thing this morning, long read, but well worth it.

I have not yet wrapped mind around whether it makes me feel empathy for them or if i am just astonished at how they did not do enough to help their child. while i understand their need to try and help their son, i dont beleive that either of them took enough steps to get him professional help. The story he wrote in 5th grade, WTF.

He was out of control, the mother was not getting through to him, time for some serious professional help.

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And I thought the story provided evidence that they sought professional help all throughout that kids life. Even with all those professional evaluations, no one saw what was coming.

All tinfoil about what really happened aside, this was fascinating. While I obviously do not condone, or excuse his actions, I can't help but feel sympathy for any tortured soul like his. If he were a rabid sociopath/psychopath who just murdered innocent people conscientiously out of malice, it'd be one thing. But the fact that he had mental defects that were crudely left unattended is sad. This was a guy who at one point couldn't keep it together when reading a textbook because he was so injured, so to speak. It's hard for me to completely disconnect from his humanity and plight, even in light of the atrocities that followed as a result of the symptoms.

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Originally Posted by Blockhead

And I thought the story provided evidence that they sought professional help all throughout that kids life. Even with all those professional evaluations, no one saw what was coming.

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I got the same feeling but to me it seems that more should have been done when he withdrew from everyone. The problem with making that observation is this is a condensed one sided look in to the killers life from someone he disassociated with. We will never get the rest of the story from the horses mouth so we may never know what really happened in the right context. I just hope lessons can be learned from the situation for the mental health community and parents alike.

ETA: Thanks for sharing that story, it was a good read.

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Originally Posted by Blockhead

And I thought the story provided evidence that they sought professional help all throughout that kids life. Even with all those professional evaluations, no one saw what was coming.

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seems to me that they gave up on professional help. mother was hiding the son's actions and mental state from the dad. I think they sought some help and when things did not immediately get better they just tried to handle it. once things really went south it is time for some serious intervention.

I understand that we are on the outside looking in and i have four healthy kids so it is hard to relate to what they went through, but based on the father's own admissions of his son's condition it seems like maybe this kid needed to be locked up. If I came home to that kind of mental and physical behavior every night i dont think i would trying to hide this from the other parent, but really laying it on the table as to what was going on and seeking more help. laying on the bathroom floor crying for 45 minutes is not the sign of a well adjusted teen.

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Originally Posted by rockhound

laying on the bathroom floor crying for 45 minutes is not the sign of a well adjusted teen.

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Well-adjusted teen might be an oxymororn ;) My crying spells were limited to a normal 30 minutes.

yeah al kids have a spell or two, seems like this kind of behavior was a daily thing for years with this kid.

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Originally Posted by rockhound

seems to me that they gave up on professional help. mother was hiding the son's actions and mental state from the dad. I think they sought some help and when things did not immediately get better they just tried to handle it. once things really went south it is time for some serious intervention.

I understand that we are on the outside looking in and i have four healthy kids so it is hard to relate to what they went through, but based on the father's own admissions of his son's condition it seems like maybe this kid needed to be locked up. If I came home to that kind of mental and physical behavior every night i dont think i would trying to hide this from the other parent, but really laying it on the table as to what was going on and seeking more help. laying on the bathroom floor crying for 45 minutes is not the sign of a well adjusted teen.

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This is my thoughts too, it appears that they had a lot of professional help for several years but at the end it was lacking.

I see the mom as a victim but not a helpless one and she definitely could have done more. I have mixed feelings on the shooter.

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Originally Posted by rockhound

I understand that we are on the outside looking in

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I suspect that his condition, no matter how severe, didn't seem as extreme to the parents as it would to someone that wasn't around him regularly.

I was in a restaurant this past week and several little angels were being absolute terrors while their parents seemed oblivious to their behavior. The parents, being accustomed to that behavior apparently didn't see it as out of the ordinary but half the restaurant patrons would have probably liked to have seen how rigid a steak knife was when used in a manner not as intended...