Twas the night before Christmas...
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
I was hiding my purchases from my dear spouse.
Some space on the garage shelves now was clear,
In prep for the UPS man, soon to be here.
The children were ready for tomorrow’s trip to the range,
With a stop at the show first with some guns to exchange.
SWMBO* was sleeping, in her teddy of camo,
With her 1911 and hollow point ammo.
But out in the driveway, arose a loud warn,
Of a UPS driver honking his horn.
I lept from the couch to see what was the matter,
Ready to cause, some burglar’s blood spatter.
Away to the front door I flew like a flash,
Causing my beer to fall down with a splash.
Giving a magical glow to all objects below,
Was a winter’s full moon, but in Colorado, no snow.
No burglars were outside, instead my good luck
Brought the wondrous sight of a delivery truck.
With my usual driver, a strong fellow named Smitty,
Already stacking my packages in a row, all pretty.
Amazingly fast, out of the truck’s rear they came,
He announced their origins by calling their name.
Here’s one from Centerfire, and another from Bud’s,
To add to my collection of C&R guns.
Ooo, parts for my shotgun, from Scattergun Tech,
When my wife sees the bill, she’ll throttle my neck!
Here’s my upper from Adco, MD Arms sent some drums,
To assist my Tromix Saiga in making my right shoulder numb.
A small box labeled Gemtech brought home my new can,
And still boxes kept coming, out the back of that van.
The biggest was Brownell’s, the smallest, LaRue,
Spike’s sent some AR parts, and Magpul did too.
From the rear of the truck, came Smitty with a bound,
And he lifted some boxes, without making a sound.
He had a Marlboro on his lips, a uniform of brown,
And a David Ragan hat that he wore like a crown.
Up the driveway we went, with the cartons in tow,
Hurrying to get the boxes stowed quickly, so SWMBO won’t know.
“Put that box on that shelf, and that one over here,
Thanks a lot, Smitty, got time for a beer?”
“Not tonight, friend, I have too much to do,
But I sure wouldn’t want to be in your shoes.”
With a frightened expression, I felt my heart race,
When he pointed at the window; in it my wife’s face.
He jumped in his truck, with a laugh and a smile
Jammed it in gear, and spun the rear tires.
I heard him exclaim, from the front of his truck,
Happy Shooting to all, and brother, good luck!
Written by Wakko on AR15.com
*She Who Must Be Obeyed
