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A lone explorer arrives at a jungle camp of natives in deep Africa. The natives are friendly and they greet him with open arms, they end up having a feast in his honor. Their Chief speaks English and all is good, the village is alive with drums and dancing.
The explorer is exhausted from his travels and needs sleep, he tries to retire but the drums keep pounding. He thanks the Chief for the warm reception and asks if the drumming could stop, explaining that he needs rest.
The Chief looks at him and says, "The drum must not stop, bad things happen when drum stop....!" The explorer retires to his tent with the drums pounding away trying again to sleep. Several times during the night he asks the Chief to stop the drumming but gets the same answer, '...drums must not stop,...bad things when drums stop....'
Finally at 4 in the morning, he yells at the Chief to stop the drums. "So what happens when the drums stop..?" he asks!
" Then come Bass solo "
A defendant was asked if he wanted a bench trial or a jury trial.
"Jury trial," the defendant replied.
"Do you understand the difference?" asked the judge.
"Sure," replied the defendant. "That's where twelve ignorant people decide my fate instead of one."
What does the movie Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common....?
Icy dead people.
Yo momma's so fat...
...Thanos had to snap twice.
As he was getting in bed she said:
You're drunk
He said:
How do you know?
She said:
You live next door.
Husband asked his wife:
Why don't you tell me when you're having an orgasim?
She replied:
I don't like calling you @ work.
Hahahahahahahahahahahaahahah!!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by ChickNorris
The government in this state has your best interest in mind and uses your tax dollars wisely. - shamelessly stolen from Ron Swanson
A man left work one Friday afternoon. Being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spent his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.
Finally, his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
To which he replied, "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.