**warning Post Contains Emotion***
It Sort of funny, but I Didn't REALLY wake up until I was 41
I thought I had it all figured out, Got a Medical from the Army, Didn't take VA because I was too proud, didn't take Unemployment for the same reasons. Me Against the world, Someone was getting screwed and I wasn't going to let it be me!
I'M Jetting here, doing this, going to school, doing that, tough Guy making it on my own at all costs.
I graduate from College, get this awesome offer to go overseas again and I am on top of the world. I have this shit all Figured out, or so I thought.
I am Paying my parents bills, my Girlfriend(now wife) Lives with me, we're getting married, I am THE Man.
October 5th 2008 My Wife and I got to her 8 month Checkup.
She is in Labor!
???
October 6, 20 Hours later Alexander is born.
3 Hours after that the realization sets in there is something seriously wrong and Doctors start getting nervous. Alex undergoes more tests than anyone there knows how to give. They are bringing in Specialists from other regional Hospitals
On October 7 2008 I Realized that my priorities were seriously fucking wrong and just how little I knew.
The head of Pediatrics Sits me down and turns my world upside down.
I am in a Country where it is a Law that No one shall be treated in the first hour of a trauma as it may be gods will to take them. Insh'Allah
I am told my Newborn Son has Streptococcal Septicemia and will probably not make it.
I am also told that I Cannot tell my wife as she is still too weak from the labor and it could hurt her.
You quickly lose all of your Indigence and ego when you cry yourself to sleep on the floor of an NICU of a hospital Begging God or Allah, anyone listening to let your son live.
When you watch him go through Transfusion after Transfusion because his blood is wracked with Bacterium and he is wasting away because its killing him from the inside out and there is nothing you can do.
You lose all sense of self-importance and you realize what IS important.
for those not in the know: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/e...cle/001366.htm
Job... Pffft
(big) Money...Pffft
Guns, cars, toys, flat screens, Image, power, whatever...
I will trade everything I own and everything I will ever own to have my son give me a Kiss wrap his little arms around my neck and say "Daddy".
and if you don't know that feeling, I hope someday you will, because there is no better feeling like it in the world. Everyday I get out of Bed and face another day for HIM.
I pray that no parent ever has to deal with the horror I went through. It was a nightmare straight from hell that I couldn't wake from.
I Wish I had something like the Ronald McDonald house, or Family, or ANYTHING to help me out. and I vowed then that I would never take anything for granted again, to include a helping hand.
So for those of you sending me job Leads, I Do appreciate it and I am following up on them.
And for those that are standing up on their soapboxes, I honestly pray you never fall, it really is that much further to the ground.