The owner of the company I started working for many years ago would love to see an acquaintance in a public area, say hello as loud as he could and follow up with "I hear you quit beating your wife..." at the top of his voice. That just tickled the sh*t out of him for some reason.
"Time to get the turkey out of the freezer and cook it!"
O2
Ps. Thank you Norm and the cast of "Cheers"
Breast or leg?
"It's a good thing John Maynard Keynes was so insightful, right?"
"Is anyone else here a HUGE fan of Lois Lerner?"
"I don't understand why anybody needs an assault rifle - or any gun for that matter. In a world without guns, we could finally have peace!"
"Anyone else here ever see some hadjis gang-banging a goat through a Pred feed?"
'Ya know, say what you want about the Holocaust, but Hitler had a lot of good ideas."
ETA: Anything about Donald Trump and Mexicans.
Who wants their turkey medium rare?
Two phrases I have used at work:
"Somewhere, there is a woman in a well waiting for him to come back and lower her dinner."
"He either needs to get his head out of his ass or buy a snorkel, but either way, he needs more oxygen to his brain."
"Even a blind squirrel gets a nut every now and then"
And a new one I had never heard before that is timely of Thanksgiving: I had to counsel an employee yesterday for telling a female coworker from the midwest "So that's what a body built by corn looks like."
"Its great dating fat girls. You can smack 'em around, call them names, and they still wont leave you."
My aunt was recently stung by a bee while golfing. She complained to the range officer about the bees. He asked her where she was stung and she told him between the first and second hole. He said, "Well, sounds like your stance is too wide."
[LOL] Taint!Quote:
Originally Posted by Irving
Gross.Quote:
Originally Posted by HBARleatherneck
My wife usually makes Rum glazed yams. She's going to nights starting Thursday and we only have a very small turkey so I don't think we're having the full feast.