I'm back after a short slumber.

You?re floundering with no plan. Make a plan and shift from there as necessary. Perfection is the enemy of good. Don?t be a Captain Sobel about it. In the grand scheme of things, a year or two is nothing if you work your plan correctly and with a long view. Sounds like you?re wanting immediate gratification, which 9.9/10 will result in poor decision making and failure.

eta: we already told you before to complete the degree come hell or high water. You didn?t. You shifted course. Why? As others have said, the degree?s major itself is superfluous to simply completing it.

I feel for you. Having an unhappy wife puts a lot of strain on the marriage but then again, so does going into a deep, deep financial hole. With two young kids and no real potential for a high paying job (I'm pretty sure CNA's don't make a lot, certainly not enough to support a family of 4 while you finish your education) you would be trading one kind of unhappiness for another. Financial woes have doomed many marriages.

Think about:

* Rent
* Child care costs (which are likely much higher here)
* Transportation costs
* School costs

Do you have a plan? There are hundreds of people living in beat up RVs or homeless shelters or crashing on the couches of increasingly impatient family members or friends because they said "what the heck, let's go to Denver, I hear there's lots of jobs there."

Making the jump without coming up with a plan first is setting yourself up for failure.

I'm sorry if this comes across as harsh, but both you and your wife seem to be a little lacking in maturity. You by jumping to a different major and taking yourself off the BA track and her by obsessing about how much she misses her home and family instead of focusing on the family she has. Both of you seem to be suffering from the "grass is greener" syndrome thinking that "if only I make this major change/major move, things will get better."

I think it's time for you to stop, drop and roll. Fix what's wrong NOW, don't obsess about thinking that if you move, things will get better. They likely won't.

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Originally Posted by davsel

If you're still young enough, consider enlisting - set you and your family up for life if you so choose.

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I can't really agree here. Yes, I did 23 years in the Army and I liked it (most of the time) but from my recollections, the married guys who did the best in the military were the ones who either got married after they went in or at the very least, didn't start having kids until after they'd been in a while (and both they and their spouse understood what they were in for.)

The ones who came into the military with a lot of "baggage" in the form of dependents or other "issues" seemed to really struggle a lot.

The military can be tough on a marriage. There aren't many civilian jobs where you might come home from work and say "Guess what, honey, next week I leave for a year." Things like that can wreck a lot of marriages, even the ones that appeared to be strong from the outside.

Moving to Colorado won’t fix your job/schooling/personal problems. It may fix the emotional ones for your wife.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by davsel

If you're still young enough, consider enlisting in the Air Force - set you and your family up for life if you so choose.

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Fixed it

1) If you're searching for a reason for why you can't do something, you're doing it wrong. "No excuse sir" as adapted by some branches is the right philosophy. Don't be trying to find an excuse, only search for solutions and adapt to overcome problems. Excuses become crutches that justify negative behavior in self-reinforcing loops. On the other hand, if you live a "no excuse" life, not only are you more honest with yourself, you're more honest with others, and you're also hellishly more difficult to squish. For instance, why are you searching for a "learning disability?" At the core, I suspect it is to give yourself a mental "out". Hold yourself to a higher standard instead. Whether you do or do not, isn't really all that important. You probably already know what it takes to overcome it, but don't want to commit to it - even if you're not in a place to realize this today.

2) You might be having a discussion with the wrong people. As we only get one side of the picture, you might be looking to pick and choose emotional justification to do what you want to do anyway. Instead, you should probably just have several serious, long term planning discussions with your wife. The pros and cons are not just you and your perspective, you need to do all aspects of it as a couple and let her know you are serious about considering it. Also don't just consider two options.

3) Don't be hedonistic and adverse to change. Live a 10 year plan, starting now. I've done some things that were crazy and painful in the 1-3 year time frame, but really worked out in the long term. Don't make a decision based on what is easier tomorrow, or what you're most comfortable with. Be aware that humans apply hedonistic adaptation to settle into any situation, no matter how shitty. We are truly adverse to change. When you consider #2, you need to be aware and downplay those natural resistances.

4) Very critically; live and consider things pragmatically. As an aside, do a little bit of research on cognitive dissonance, we all warp our realities a bit - not that it's necessarily an issue here - but understanding it will add a new level of filtering to decision making. Excusing our own behavior (or that of someone else's) is one of many, many facets it can take.

Another note by the way: There's a lot of truth in the adage don't make your hobby your profession - it will quickly cease to be your hobby ever again. If you like firearms a lot, you don't want to be working on them for the general public. Or selling them. Both are usually entry-level pay at the end of the day, plus gunsmithing you have to deal with shitty people and "unhappy customers" if you do it for the public.

Can you swing a hammer, turn a wrench, pull cable? Have you considered becoming a diesel mechanic or truck driver? Most jobs in the trades will pay better than a college degree and have the added benefit of no college debt. Lots of places around the country have jobs in any of these fields for people who are willing to show up; on time, every day, willing to work. Become employable and then think about where you want to live.

There was a time I would have suggested the military for training, but if you don't come to that option on your own, you probably aren't interested. Beside that, most job training can be had outside the military today without the four year commitment.

Good luck. I've heard many people talk about how hard "adulting" is today. Be safe.

Take anything gun related off of your list of considerations completely, because it doesn't matter even a little bit. That includes messing around with pinning mags. Having 15+ capacity mags is about as serious as having more than three dogs. Every single aspect of what you are dealing with is more important than anything gun related. You've got so much baggage, that your baggage has baggage. Cut the guns out of the conversation and reevaluate.

I would sit down with your wife and come up with a plan staying in Idaho. I would take an entry level job and work up, even if it is in the trades sector. Or go to a trade school and have a part or full time job. Preferably in the trade you are studying. Moving to CO is going to be more stressful as your housing situation will be much less cozy and structured as you have now.
CO expenses are going to be more, traffic more, and daily stress and anxiety be more. Sit, talk, come up with a rational plan with your wife. Having friends and family close is nice and gives that warm fuzzy feeling (and does offer support), but it can also hinder progress.
16yrs ago I stepped out of my comfort zone and bailed out of a career of 13yrs that I was super cozy in. Good money, but was burned out and some other factors made me walk away. I decided to buy a franchise and give it my 100%. Well, the first 3 years I busted my ass only to barely make bills, and sometimes didn't. Went to work banging nails and doing odd jobs when I didn't have customers to see for my business. Spent hours a day hanging flyers on doors. As the owner of a business this was humbling, it sucked, and was totally not what I signed up for. and I was ready to suck it up and toss in the towel. Sell my franchise and go back to what I had done for 13yrs On year 3 I went to a Zig Ziggler seminar and it sank in. No shit. A motivational speaker actually said something that hit me in the side of the head and I buckled down and busted even more ass. What he said was " THERE IS NO BETTER MOTIVATOR THAN THE FEAR OF FAILURE". I simply could not fail. . I kept up with the door hanging and whatever I had to do to get the phone to ring. It worked.
Well, it's been 14 years since that day and I am doing great.
Moral of the story. Do what you have to do to succeed, and even then some. Stick it out while doing ass busting stuff you don't want to do because bringing money is is bringing money in.
I wish you and your family the very best as this is a real hard time.