What do you do if your kid is being bullied?

We have twin daughters that will graduate high school this coming May.

When they were in 2nd grade here, they were having bullying issues with a couple of boys in their class. My wife and I went to talk with the teachers and the teachers were definitely on our side about it all, but somewhat limited by state regulations about how far they could go to protect our girls. Unfortunately there were several Liberals on the school board, including the moron superintendent.

The teachers tried the usual punishments for the boys that were bullying but it continued. We had meetins in the principal's office with the boys parents.

Finally I went to the principal and informed her that my girls would be fighting back and putting the boys on the ground the next time it happened. The boys were pushing and punching our girls and other kids. The principal, a Liberal, informed me that our girls would be suspended and possibly expelled if they responded physically. I explained that my girls would not be examples of how to be victims of physical abuse and set themselves up to be meek targets in the future, and that if any type of punitive action befell them for defending themselves, we would sue the district, her personally and the parents of the boys.

Needless to say, both of our girls ended up punching the boys at the next assault, knocking the wind out of them so they were on the ground. Surprisingly, while the teachers witnessed the initial assault of the boys hitting our daughters, they "looked away for an instant" and did not see our girls defending themselves, but only saw the boys on the ground gasping for air.

No actions were taken against our girls or the boys but amazingly, the bullying stopped. Our girls have not been messed with since.

I was bullied until 9th grade. I started fighting back and that ended it.

My daughter is 6, she was being bullied from the start of this school year by s little big head boy. He would bully everyone. I talked to the teacher and nothing. His parents are unresponsive to it. I was getting angry. I talked to the kid and it stopped for a few weeks. My daughter came home crying that hit slapped her. That was it, i told my daughter to wait till lunch and punch him right in the nose. Thats what she did in front of everyone, he cried and the bulling has stopped. Its been a few months. The teacher said nothing to my daughter about it.

Wow...this post brought back some memories.

I was never the smallest or overweight kid in my class but had an issue when we moved to a new school district. We (my younger sister and I) took the bus to school everyday and that's where it started. Some older, bigger kids (I was 11) would always pull my stocking cap off and hide it when I sat down on the bus. I always let my little sister sit closer to the front and I would have to venture to the back of the bus where the "bully pack" hung out. Those guys were dicks.

After about two weeks of this BS, I'd had enough. We got on the bus one morning and someone pulled my hat off as usual. I stood up and walked back with 5 guys all grinning at me with that "I don't have your hat" fuckin' smug smile on their faces.

The nearest guy (the biggest but not the leader of the pack) to me said "we don't have your damn hat". Understand, he was sitting and I was standing so I don't want to sound like a bad-ass, but I proceeded to unleash a volley of knuckle breakers on that kid's face and head until the bus driver pulled over and tore me off the kid.

Got reprimanded at school, got grounded at home (couldn't ride my dirt bike for two weeks), but never had a single problem on that frickin' school bus again. Those guys would walk wide circles around me until HS graduation from that point on.

The shitty thing is...if a kid did the same thing today they'd probably get more than a suspension from school. Most likely an expulsion.

I don't have kids now but I feel for the parents of today. However, I like "Dunecrazzy's" approach. That kid's dad probably tinkled in his shorts then gave his kid an old-fashioned butt whupping.

WORD OF WARNING TO ALL PARENTS

DO NOT, REPEAT DO NOT GO TO THE KIDS HOME . Once you are on their property you are trespassing. IF anything happens no matter how pissed you are, you are still in the wrong. After the talking to all goes no where, send a registered letter to the school's principal , VP and even guidance counselors. This way you have one more document to CYA and your kids. SO once your kid delivers a quick lesson of life. You can show there was no option for your child.

My advice is to send the kid out for the wrestling team. It will make him tougher, but just as importantly he'll have tough friends.

Freestyle wrestling is starting up soon and his school probably has a club.

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Originally Posted by Squeeze

Exactly what I was thinking.

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+1 My first thought would be to assert myself with the bully's parents, who are ultimately responsible for it anyway. But would no doubt encourage the kid to defend him/herself too.

Hire a Ninja...

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Originally Posted by generalmeow

My advice is to send the kid out for the wrestling team. It will make him tougher, but just as importantly he'll have tough friends.

Freestyle wrestling is starting up soon and his school probably has a club.

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This. Most fights, especially involving younger kids, end up on the ground. Control is everything.

I was bullied as a kid. I was lanky and skinny and the QB of the high school football team used to pick on me. My dad had me and my brother in boxing and karate since I was young because I sucked at sports and he knew I would have to defend myself one day. Bro was athletic but small. One day Johnny Utah and his buddy came to pick on me, and for the first time he took a swing. I ducked it easily and gave him a three-piece to the face. His buddy tried to intervene only to find my two-years younger brother on his back choking him. I finished Johnny Utah with a front kick to the solar plexus and his friend ran away. This was in front of half the school. I was never picked on again and transferred schools the next year.

Perhaps the bully hasn't seen what the consequences of his actions could be. Maybe you could show him this video.

grr. Stupid IPad. Let me try again.

http://youtu.be/mEqniEvNcnk

Our 3rd grade daughter had the beginnings of a bully problem this year so I felt we had to stop it quickly. The other girl and our daughter started the year out as friends before we learned who this child really is. This is the other girl's third school in three years because of her attitude. The other girl is manipulative, physically aggressive, and bitchy, yes all of this at 9 years old.

I took a page from my K9 psychology studies and decided to try applying it here. I explained to my daughter that she needs to manipulate the bully into wanting to please her. Basicaly take away the bully's upper hand. By the end of one week the bully was calling our house begging to be friends again. Once that happened, my daughter told her no, I don't feel like it. Well, the other kid backed off quickly at school and eventually the phone calls stopped.

After a year of BJJ and learning how to treat the other kid like the dog she is, my girl has felt quite empowered. She comes home sometimes with stories of how the other girl tried to put her down and how my girl turned it around and sent the other one walking.

Had this happen to my son in the 4th grade......told him to punch the offender in the face as hard as he could.......forgot to tell him not in the middle of class in front of the teacher! He got a week off from school...l told the principal I would tell him to do it again, and in fact was rewarding him with a trip to Disneyland for sticking up for his right to defend himself.......bully became his best friend after the attitude adjustment.

That approch may not work so well 25 years later.

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Originally Posted by ruffian

That approch may not work so well 25 years later.

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Lol. Probably not.

Maybe you should bring a civil suit against the kids parents. I'm pretty sure that's how our society works these days. [facepalm]