Best one liner?

My favorite was always "I'm hung like an Argentinian mountain gorilla".... It's a great conversation starter, try it out at work.

Hold my beer and watch this

I'll have enough guns after I get the next one.

Now, I don't want any trouble.

Is there a probem, officer ?

Do i look drunk to you?

Of course I'll still respect you in the morning.

The one (ok one of the ones) that may have got some one in troube.

I dont normally do this on the first date.

No really officer, she was just changing out of her work clothes ;)


Me, well these 64 impalas are notorious for stuck heater cables :(

You a bounty hunter? Man's got to do something for a living. Dying's not much of a living.