mind the gap.
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I lost weight once... but no worries, I found it!
What about a kilt - they have pockets! I bet that would come in handy at work: http://www.511tactical.com/kilt-2015
[ROFL1]
^^ Nothing wrong with appendix carry. That looks like the back of the woman in the picture...to me anyway.
Don't let the hair fool you, that is a shiny beard.