Eldery mother wants to get a gun...... Advice needed

I think we have all seen stories of something going terribly wrong and we have said: "What was the family thinking giving that person a gun?". Don't set yourself up for a situation down the road where everybody is armchair quaterbacking after the fact and blaming you for a bad decision on her part. You should be able in good conscious to let her know you just can't do it unless she stops drinking and that you could never live with yourself if something terrible happened. Maybe by doing this you could get her to see the light and assist in keeping her alive and in your life longer. You seem to be conflicted over this issue, don't do something you will regret latter. You can always revisit the gun issue down the road when things have changed and the time is right.

Just sign her up for Tinder or Eharmony. That will give her something else to focus on.

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Originally Posted by Irving

Just sign her up for Tinder or Eharmony. That will give her something else to focus on.

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AHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

lol jk.. also a decent idea..

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Originally Posted by Chad4000

IF she actually gets really persistent with this idea, how do you guys feel about something like removing the firing pin?

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Personally, I hate it. I understand your concern about her but the last freaking thing I want to do is give someone a non-functional gun that they think they can actually use for self-defense. You're going to kick yourself if she decides to stand her ground against an invader instead of fleeing because she THINKS she has a functional weapon.

Very tough decision given the excessive drinking. My mom has an almost identical background to what you described but she stopped drinking 25 years ago when things got really bad and hasn't looked back. We're very lucky in that sense. She's also 67 and recently wanted to get a gun (she used to shoot when she was younger). I suggested she get some training and a CHP first and her and my wife went through the classes together. I got her an LCR 38 Special for Christmas and she is already setting up some training before she buys ammo. I know your situation is very different but maybe going to some training or having someone go with her might help with the decision.

I agree with not removing the firing pin, I'd be more likely to put a trigger lock on it and hide the key in her house so she has to call to get it. I'm actually kidding... well for the most part.... It would substantially lower the risk of an accident and it would be better than not having anything if someone was trying to break into the house. You'd also be able to assess her state of mind if she called for the location.

That is a difficult position to be put in. Some people act recklessly when they drink, whereas some longtime drinkers are just maintaining their baseline. If she is a danger to herself and others when she drinks, then she certainly should not have access to firearms. If, however, you think it is unlikely she would misuse the firearm, you should buy a small gun safe and insist the gun be locked up whenever kids are there. For an old woman with no shooting experience and a bad wrist who insists on having a gun in the house, my only recommendation would be an old breaktop .32 Long. .32 Long has very mild recoil, and the old breaktops are inexpensive and have lighter trigger pulls than a rimfire or one of the 1980s H&R/NEF 32s. And you can load it up with powderpuff wadcutters that will significantly limit the damage she might accidentally do with it.

Maybe the answer is that if someone can't get a gun on their own (they're legally able to, just not able to 'get it together') then you don't have an obligation to help them?

Say it's your best friend or your brother or a casual acquaintence who gets a bug about getting a gun. He's doing all the research, going to go take a safety class on his own volition because he knows it's the smart thing to do, put in extra hours at work to afford it, but just can't seem to get off the fence about whether to get a pistol/shotgun/rifle and wants your help & input and to make sure he doesn't get scalped at an unscrupulous LGS. By all means, help that person, even teach them the 4 rules before his class, because he/she is willing to listen.

Then take your co-worker Bob at work who also has a clean record, wants a gun but doesn't have nor make time to learn much about it, responds with derp-like answers to your questions regarding safety and his willingness to learn it, doesn't want to have to pay $$ to take a safety class because "well I'm not an idiot, I know who not to shoot, it's common sense", and basically just wants you to tell him the exact model gun to go out and buy that will be perfect for him. I wouldn't feel much of an obligation to help Bob out if I feel like not wanting to be anywhere near the sphere of consequences for his actions. Now assume Bob is also a good friend, or your brother-in-law, or your mother. Maybe the answer is to ignore your mom? Admittedly, this can be taken as kind of an ostrich-in-the-sand response, but hey it's another idea (that someone probably already said).

My mom also wanted to get a gun, she's also a new'ish NRA member, she doesn't have a drinking problem, but her hands are weak, and I while she's willing to listen to any safety tips I'd tell her, she hasn't taken the time to go take classes or research guns like I told her she should do if she was really serious about it. I even told her there are plenty of For-Ladies-By-Ladies classes at the range closest to her, but she never went. So, she kind of dropped the issue on her own. My dad grew up shooting, one of my sisters took a safety class and enjoys shooting (but made the decision that she doesn't need a gun), the other sister is a hopolophobe, but I'd trust any of them with a gun. My mom, not so much. Her complete lack of physical hand/arm strength is a serious issue, and I don't have much hope for her even being able to safely operate a revolver. My dad independently came to the same conclusion. She could prove me wrong and go take those classes and prove able to shoot the little .22lr rugers they use, then move up to a 9mm revolver, but she hasn't taken those steps, and I don't feel obligated to get her there if she's not willing to do the same herself.

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Originally Posted by th3w01f

I got her an LCR 38 Special for Christmas...

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Ouch. I enjoy shooting my .41 Magnum more than I enjoy shooting my 38 Special LCR...

I like the revolver, it's just that I consider it a VERY advanced gun to shoot due to the sharp (and that's putting it mildly) recoil.

O2

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Originally Posted by O2HeN2

Ouch. I enjoy shooting my .41 Magnum more than I enjoy shooting my 38 Special LCR...

I like the revolver, it's just that I consider it a VERY advanced gun to shoot due to the sharp (and that's putting it mildly) recoil.

O2

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For someone recoil sensitive, there's always powder puff wadcutter loads. 148 wadcutter at ~700 fps still sucks for the bad guy, but is very controllable on the shooter's end.

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Originally Posted by TFOGGER

For someone recoil sensitive, there's always powder puff wadcutter loads. 148 wadcutter at ~700 fps still sucks for the bad guy, but is very controllable on the shooter's end.

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That's the exact plan along with trying out the Hornady Critical Defense Lite.