What do you call a man with no arms and no legs driving a car?
Rex.
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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs driving a car?
Rex.
I used to be afraid of hurdles but then I got over it
What does a plum and an elephant have in common?
They're both purple.
Except for the elephant.
A man walks into a psychiatrists office, only wearing saran wrap to cover his body, the doctor turns to him and says, "Well.. I can clearly see your nuts."
What is Forrest Gumps login for his Mac?
1forrest1
In the words of Jim Carrey - (Somebody stop me!!!!)
Did you hear the one about the cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils?
Pessimist: Things are horrible. Everything is falling apart. Things can't get any worse.
Optimist: Yes they can!
Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions?
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
Roamin' Catholic.
Famous last words of a mafia hit man: "Who put a violin in the violin case?"
How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
Fish
What is invisible and smells like carrots?
Rabbit farts
What did the buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.
What do you call a funeral where you smell your own flowers?
A wedding.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
What is white and when it falls out of a tree your fridge is broken.
Your fridge.
What do you call an abortion in Prague?
A cancelled Czech.
And I'm out!!!!!!!!
My last day getting up at 3:30 for work...
Hump day.
Woot, wootQuote:
Originally Posted by waxthis
Sent from my electronic ball and chain.
Now, who to hump?
Your mother, Trebek!!
Doh!
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel as a belt buckle. Th bartender asks, " hey what's with the steering wheel?" The pirate says, "Argh, it's drivin me nuts!"Quote:
Originally Posted by colorado_hack
Looking like a Santiago's lunch, I'll have the contractor buy today...
[Coffee]
'Sup Wax.
Just me, then.....
So, what to do.... Maybe I'll go to the range and shoot things.... Yay! Range time!
Signed my deferment. $$$$$
Dropping the kids at the pool.
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Growin a tail.
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Takin the browns to the Superbowl
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 3beansalad
Dude, light a match or something. :what:Quote:
Originally Posted by 3beansalad
Sent from my electronic ball and chain.
Release the chocolate hostage
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Givin birth to a food baby
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Blumpkin
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Squeeze a steamer
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Log out
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