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True story
You will not believe what just happened... I walked into the loaf and jug to get a drink...When I walked up I noticed these 2 police officers watching some dude who was smoking while pumping gas.. I saw him & thought, "This guy didn't have any common sense & was he stupid ?!! With the cops right there too?! But anyway, I went in and got my drink. As I was checking out, I heard someone screaming.. I looked outside and the dude's arm was on fire! He was swinging his arm and running around going crazy! I ran outside and the cops had put him on the ground and were putting the fire out with their coffees!! YES, THEIR COFFEES!...Then they put handcuffs on him and threw him in the police car.. I was thinking "He shouldn't have been smoking near the pump while getting gas!" But being the nosey person that I am, I asked the cops what they were arresting him for.. The cop looked me dead in my eyes and said ... "WAVING A FIREARM!"
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Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.
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Roses are red
violets are blue,
God made me pretty,
what happened to you?
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Remember when I rubbed you out?
Genie: Don't say it like that...
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What's got four legs and one arm?
A Rottweiler. Good boy!
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What did the letter O say to letter Q?
Please put some pants on
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I bet you're made of copper and tellurium, know why?
Because you're so CuTe
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What's the last QA performed before Elmo is shipped out of the toy factory?
Two test tickles