My dad wasn't around much and definitely didn't take the time to impart any wisdom but I do remember him admiring the scenery in Fort Collins when I was 8 or 9. The scenery was a couple of college girls in summer dresses.
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My dad wasn't around much and definitely didn't take the time to impart any wisdom but I do remember him admiring the scenery in Fort Collins when I was 8 or 9. The scenery was a couple of college girls in summer dresses.
My dad had so many......
"Everything has a place and everything in its place"
[rofl1][rofl2]Quote:
Originally Posted by tinelement
My dad always has great tid bits of information to impart upon myself and my brother... As a lot of you know, I work for my dad, so this opens up opportunities for him to show off his ever quick wit...
My brother broke up with his girlfriend last summer and naturally calls dad for advice on how to move on quicker. "Son, women are like buses... you miss one and another is bound to come along shortly."
We got a new phone book at the office, so before getting rid of the old one, I showed my dad that you can actually tear a phone book in half with your bare hands. He shook his head and said "You're retarded." I replied "Well I got those genes from you!" Without missing a beat he said "No, that came from your mother."
And finally, we ran an insurance quote on a couple that had two 2011 Range Rovers (basically 2 of the exact same car). I asked my old man, "Why would you buy two of the same car?"
His response: "There's something you need to learn, why does a dog lick his balls?
Because he can!" [Beer]
To all the dads on here, Happy early Father's Day!
"Do as I say, not as I do"
"Quit being a knob twister and/or wanker boy"
"I was doing [insert activity] when you were still an itch in your daddy's pants"
and my personal favorite:
"Who's your daddy?"
I love my father, he was a little crazy always came across grumpy, but we were best of friends and he was really just a big teddy bear. He had the nickname: "The mad Frenchman" for a reason. He was obsessed in learning Spanish, one of his favorite sayings isn't actually clean but he said it all the time in jest and a side joke. Specially with my wife who speaks Spanish.
"besame el culo puto."
"If it hurts don't do it, unless your into that then hammer away" and "don't do anything I wouldn't do, but if you do name it after me".
When waking me up in the mornings, my dad would just blast right into my room, flip on the lights and say "Up and at 'em!"
Mostly I remember going out to the back yard and picking my own switch from the tree to be spanked with... Too thick and it's like getting clubbed, too thin and it's a great whip.
[me] "I'm hungry."
[dad] "Nice to meet ya, I'm Steve!"
Dad was a bit of a dork :)