Oh... and don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
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Oh... and don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
Interesting fact, 69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly?
He knows where all the naughty girls live.
A hiker stopped at the bank of a fast-flowing river. Spying a simple fellow standing on the opposite bank, he yelled to him, "How do I get to the other side?"
The simpleton scratched his head. He looked up the river. He looked down the river. Then he yelled back to the hiker, "You're already ON the other side!"
Nice
How is a woman different than a washing machine?
A washing machine doesn't follow you around for a week after you put a load in it.
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, were excessively mischievous.
They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew if any mischief occurred in their town, the two boys were probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.
The mother sent the 8-year-old in the morning, and the older boy was to see the preacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?"
The boy made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?" Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher then shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE is GOD?"
The boy screamed, bolted from the room, ran directly home, and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time! GOD is missing, and they think WE did it!"
: D
Here is the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than do the British or Americans.
The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Knock knock.
Who's the..........SQUIRREL!